


To Know and To Grow

by therestisjustconfetti



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Non-Canon but with some canon character traits/references, Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, bookstore, just two women who are afraid to admit they’re lost until they find themselves in eachother, mentions of child abuse, no ghosts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:06:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 117,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27920482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therestisjustconfetti/pseuds/therestisjustconfetti
Summary: After running from an unhappy life, Dani ends up working in a bookstore in a quaint quiet northern English town. While there, she befriends the groundskeeper of a nearby estate when she comes into the store one day in search of a specific book. As time passes, both women realize that running from something might just be what ultimately brings them together.Or, Dani and Jamie don't know just how lost they really are until they find themselves in each other.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 325
Kudos: 543





	1. Help Needed

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had this idea in my head for a while and I’m sure it’s been done before but once I started writing, I couldn’t stop planning it all out. This will be a series I continue for quite a few chapters and I really hope it’s something you all enjoy! x

When Dani steps off the train on a foggy Wednesday morning wearing her well-loved denim jacket and green trousers, she really has no idea what to expect. With a backpack on her back and a small duffel bag filled with all of her belongings, she stands frozen for a moment as the train pulls away from the platform. Six months had passed for her in London and she had felt as if she were wandering aimlessly without purpose. It was all new and exciting at first, but she soon realized the hustle and bustle of it all wasn’t all that different from the concrete jungle back home and she made the choice to seek out somewhere quiet. Someplace she could really and truly disappear to. So, one day she walks into a corner shop and buys a map of England and picks a town that she could get to by train - a place she has definitely never heard of before. She asks the shop keeper if they had ever been there and they shake their head and say no, it was most likely the kind of place where people are born and where people stay. A nowhere place. 

A nowhere place was perfect. A town where life was simple, boring, and completely ordinary. 

The train station isn’t far from the centre of town and Dani spends a few minutes on the platform adjusting herself to her new surroundings. She had been the only one to get off the train and thought to herself that might be fairly common in such a quiet and isolated place. She looks over a faded and cracked map hanging on a stone wall to the side of the train platform and gets her bearings then sets off in search of someplace she can settle down for a little while. 

The walk into town was comfortable. She didn’t mind being alone with her own thoughts anymore. That had changed. There had been a time in her life, not all that long ago, when the idea of being left alone with just her mind filled her with more anxiety and dread than one person could handle. Years of repressed thoughts and internalized fear would bubble to the surface and it would mean panic attacks, migraines, sleepless nights. But then she was brave and did something for herself. She was honest. Open. Unafraid. And then, she left. Now her head was filled with thoughts about how beautiful the trees were, how fresh the air was, how mystical the landscape seemed as the fog began to settle low to the ground. 

A couple of miles down the road she could make out some buildings and as she got closer, she realized that was her destination. The buildings were old and made of stone walls with wood roofs. She peaked down alleyways to discover cobblestone laneways and stained glass windows. The town may have been small but the architecture had stories it could tell, a history. Like everywhere in England did. She was desperate for a cup of coffee...or a cup of anything. The train ride had been long and she was exhausted. A slight chill had settled into her bones from the dampness in the air and she wanted a bed. She passed by other town folk who tipped their heads and smiled at her, completely unmoved and uninterested in a strange American walking through their quaint streets. 

When she walks past a rather unassuming storefront, something in the window catches her eye. A sign with the words ‘HELP NEEDED’ scrawled in big red block letters. She peers inside and can see brightly coloured and inviting book displays and rows of bookshelves - it’s an intriguing sight. Above the window in big wooden letters is the word ‘Books’ and that’s enough for her. She did have money saved up, enough to last her for quite a while, but a job would fill her time and could be a nice way to assimilate into a new place. It was one of the reasons why she had applied for a work visa when she booked the one way trip, so she pushes open the shop door and the bell hanging above it cheerfully dings. 

“Be with ya in just a minute,” she hears a deep male voice say from somewhere in the back of the store. 

Dani begins to browse through the stacks and smiles at the comfort she finds in the books. The smell, the depth, the familiarity of it all. The shop is small but contains quite a vast collection of work and various plants are spread out around the space on bookshelves and hanging from the ceiling. The greenery gives an added life to the store and makes it feel fresh and bright.

An elderly man appears from a back room and Dani turns around when she hears footsteps approach her from behind. The man is short with a white grey hair clinging to his head. He’s wearing dark grey trousers with a brown button down shirt and a knitted black cardigan. 

“Morning love, what can I do for ya?” he says. 

The man is instantly a comforting presence and Dani feels herself relax. “Good morning, sir. I actually came in because I noticed the sign in your window. Are you still looking for some help?” 

The man looks her up and down and narrows his eyes curiously. “You’re not from ‘round here.”

“What gave it away…” Dani replies.

He walks behind a long counter to the left of them and sits down on a stool. “American,” he says and Dani nods as she stuffs her hands into her jacket pockets. “Can I ask how you ended up all the way out here?”

“Ah…everyone always wants to know that,” Dani says, shuffling back and forth on her feet. “That’s a long story.”

“What’s your name, dear?” the man asks. 

“Dani. Dani Clayton.”

“Well, Ms. Clayton, I’m Albert.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Albert,” Dani replies. She approaches the counter and places her hands on top as Albert smiles warmly. 

“How long have you been in town?”

“About 45 minutes,” Dani says and laughs. 

“You’ve only been here for 45 minutes and you’re already looking for work? Good for you.”

Dani grins and shrugs. “I like to be busy.”

“How about this,” he says and stands. “How about you go get yourself situated and have a cup of tea down at the cafe ‘round the corner and then come back here tomorrow morning after you’ve gotten some rest and we can chat about the job.”

“Thank you, sir,” Dani replies eagerly. “I’d like that.”

“You can call me Albert, love. My father was sir. Much too stuffy for a bloke like me.”

Dani laughs and Albert reaches out a hand, she accepts and shakes it. She realizes that he reminds her of a grandfather she could faintly remember from childhood. He had died when she was young but she could see him in her head and Albert was so much like her faint and distant memories. 

“Tomorrow,” Albert says. Dani turns to leave but a thought pops into her head and she thinks Albert might be able to help her. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know of a room for rent nearby, do you? I don’t need much.”

He smiles and moves out from around the counter and walks over to the window. “You see that building up the road there?” Dani comes to stand by him at the window and gazes out through the glass. “The one with the dark brown bricks?”

“I do,” Dani says. 

“I believe there’s a top floor flat for rent there and the landlord is a woman named Joan, lovely lady. Very kind, a bit younger than I am.”

“Oh that’s great, thank you so much. I guess I’ll be off to speak to Joan then.”

Dani leaves Albert in the bookstore with the promise of returning tomorrow to talk about the job and not more than an hour later, she’s standing in the middle of a small apartment with a set of keys in her hand. She didn’t expect it to all happen quite so fast but Albert was right, Joan was very kind and very keen on renting the flat after the last tenant left for Newcastle in a hurry after a job offer came their way. When Dani could prove she had enough money to cover the rent, as well as a possible job just down the road, Joan was thrilled and the apartment was hers. 

To Dani’s delight the flat was somewhat furnished, with appliances in the kitchen, a couch in the living room and a dresser and bed in the small bedroom. The space was homey with big windows on the wall opposite the front door and despite the grey and foggy day outside, the natural light was wonderful and made the flat feel light and airy. The walls were a soft white and left a lot of room for imagination. Dani could picture art covering the blank walls, bookshelves, flowers in vases scattered about, a radio in the corner. She had no idea just how long she was going to stay in the town, but she knew while she was there - it should feel like a home. Her home. 

One of the best surprises about the flat was the clawfoot tub Dani found in the washroom and after dropping her backpack and one small suitcase off on the bed in the bedroom, she stepped into it fully clothed and settled down deeply into it. 

“We can do this,” Dani says to herself and closes her eyes. “We can do this.”

Later that afternoon, Dani leaves the apartment in search of a hot drink and something to eat. She takes Albert’s advice again and heads to the cafe around the corner. After a conversation with the woman behind the cash register about her american accent and what brought to their sleepy little town - Dani answered by saying she was just on an adventure - she orders herself a cup of coffee and a croissant and sits down at a small table by the window with a newspaper. Since she would be around for a while, she might as well familiarize herself with some of the local goings on. 

A boys youth football team from two towns over won the regional championship, there would be a car boot sale on the church grounds in one week, someone had stolen garden gnomes from a local couple called Betty and Kenny and the price of petrol was going up again. The stories brought a smile to Dani’s face as she sipped her coffee and flipped through the pages of the paper. It was all so normal and even though normalcy is what she had left behind in America, this normalcy was peaceful and comfortable. The normalcy she had known felt...wrong. She didn’t fit into that normalcy, it wasn’t hers. She didn’t fit into the cookie cutter life that had been decided for her. A life where she was expected to be the dutiful wife to a man who liked the idea of her more than anything else, a life where she was supposed to pop out two kids and lose herself along the way so they and everyone around her could flourish. The thought of that life filled her with dread and had done so for a very long time. 

She had always known she was gay, the feeling was there beneath her skin, in her heart, it was waiting and growing and she was terrified of it because it wasn’t who she was supposed to be, who people needed and wanted her to be. But that was all just thoughts put into her head, voices and words that had echoed around her for her entire life. Somewhere along the way, months after the boy she had known for her entire life asked her to marry him, it finally reached a boiling point and Dani realized none of those voices mattered. Her own voice and her own happiness is what should matter the most. She was drowning and desperately needed to come up for air. 

This new place, this snug and pleasant place, it felt right. 

That night, Dani fell asleep on her new bed under a small blanket she travelled with and when the sun rose the next morning, she felt refreshed and excited to take on this new challenge, ready to begin a new chapter of her life. She took a bath in the clawfoot tub and got dressed then left the apartment and crossed the road, making her way back to the bookshop where as he promised, Albert was waiting for her. 

“Morning love,” Albert says gleefully as Dani pushes open the door and walks inside the book shop. “Welcome back.”

“Good morning, Albert. Thank you, I’m so happy to be here.”

“So,” he says as he organizes a stack of books on a shelf by the front window. “All settled in?”

“Settled in enough,” Dani replies with a smile. “So...about that job.”

Albert smiles and leaves the window and motions for her to follow him over to the counter. 

“It’s just been me running this place for a while now, I should have looked for a set of hands ages ago but I’m a stubborn old chap and I like the work, but it’s gettin’ to be a bit much.”

Dani listens intently as he speaks, she can tell by the inflection in his voice just how important the store is to him. 

“I have a working visa,” Dani says. “So you won’t have to worry about breaking any labour laws. And I have an undergrad degree in literature, so I do know a little something about books. I’m a hard worker, I’m organized, I like people, and I promise to do the very best I can to help your shop.”

Albert takes a long deep breath and nods his head as Dani speaks. He puts his hands in his trouser pockets and purses his lips. 

“If...if you give me the job, that is,” Dani adds. 

He slowly nods and then claps his hands. “You’re hired, and you start now because I need to go across town to pick up some medication so you’re in charge.”

Dani is stunned. She assumed that if she was given the job, she’d get to start somewhat soon. maybe that day. Maybe. She figured she’d begin with stocking some shelves, organizing some books, learning about how Albert runs the store. She never expected to be left in charge of a place she had only just walked into for the very first time the day before. Albert leaves her in the middle of the shop and disappears into the backroom and reappears a minute later with a jacket in his hands. 

“I uh...you’re sure?” Dani asks, very much unsure herself.

“Prices are on all of the books. Cash register is very easy to use. I won’t even be gone an hour. It’s always slow first thing in the morning...slow most of the time lately to be honest. You’ll be alright, love. Just don’t burn the place down and you’ll get to keep the job,” he says and winks. He reassuringly pats her on the shoulder and then walks out the door without so much as a second glance. Dani looks around the bookstore with wide eyes and feels her heart start to pound faster in her chest. 

“We can do this,” she says to herself, echoing the same words from the bathtub the night before. 

Dani wanders the stacks of books and dusts some of the bookshelves. It’s quiet and she wishes there was a radio to play some music but has to settle for her own humming instead. A half hour after Albert leaves, she hears the bell above the door jingle.

“Albert, it’s Jamie. You got that book for me?”

Dani is between bookshelves near the far end of the store and peaks her head out to look for the source of the voice but can’t see who it is. When she makes her way towards the front of the store, a woman is standing facing the window with her back to Dani. She’s wearing denim overalls with black boots, her hair a chestnut brown with loose curls landing at her shoulders. This is all Dani can see from behind but it’s enough to make her very curious.

“You alright?” the woman says as she spins around, expecting to see Albert, Dani assumes. 

When their eyes meet, Dani feels a jolt straight to her heart. Kind blue eyes gaze at her and she feels like the whole world freezes around them. She has to shake herself out of it or else risk coming off as a freak for staring at a customer. 

“I’m uh...sorry, I’m not Albert. He isn’t here right now. He left to go pick something up but should be back soon if you wanted to wait,” Dani manages to say, but the words stumble out of her mouth and she doesn’t know why she’s so nervous. Well, that’s a lie. She knows why. The woman standing in front of her is absolutely gorgeous and Dani is undeniably and unequivocally attracted to her. 

“You are most definitely not Albert. Much prettier than he is to be fair, but don’t tell him I said that. Don’t want to hurt his feelings,” the woman says with a smirk. “I’m Jamie.”

The compliment goes right to Dani’s cheeks and she can feel that they’ve gone red. She laughs and looks down, looks away, looks anywhere but in Jamie’s eyes. 

_Jamie_ , Dani thinks. What a name. What a _voice_. 

Dani looks back up at her and smiles. “I’m Dani. Albert just hired me. About...a half hour ago.”

“Old man really threw ya into the fire, did he?”

“Pretty much,” Dani says and laughs. “Hopefully I’m doing alright.”

Jamie smiles. “I bet you’re doin’ just fine, Dani.”

They stand and look at each other without saying anything for a few seconds until Jamie coughs and breaks the silence and starts to move around the front of the shop, investigating all of the greenery. She dips her fingers into the pots of each plant, the ones Dani had admired so much upon her arrival the day before, and Dani watches with very curious and confused eyes as she does. 

“Well I uh...don’t know if you’ll know where it might be,” Jamie says, spinning around to face Dani. “But Albert had tracked down a book for me. Been looking for it for ages and I think he finally found it. A very specific book about ferns.”

“Ferns?” Dani asks. 

Jamie nods. “Ferns. Ferns To Know and Grow, specifically. Written by F. Gordon Foster.”

“He didn’t mention anything to me but let me check behind the counter. Maybe he tucked it away somewhere,” Dani says. She leaves Jamie with the plants and when she turns around she takes a breath to steady the nerves she hoped she was hiding well. She ducks behind the counter and kneels, digging around for the book. She’s delighted when she finds a small paper bag with Jamie’s book hiding inside. A book about ferns. Not exactly the typical book people come into a bookstore to buy but who was she to judge people’s interests - if anything, it just makes her more curious about Jamie.

When she pops back up, Jamie is leaning against the counter and half smiling. “Find it?”

Dani hands her the paper bag. “It’s your lucky day.”

Jamie takes the bag and as she does, their hands brush against each other. The feeling is electric and they lock eyes but Jamie is the one to shake it off this time. 

“It really is my lucky day,” Jamie says, her words relating to far more than just the book. 

“So, do you come in here a lot?” Dani asks. She sits down on the stool to make herself seem more comfortable and at ease, like she belongs in the space. 

Jamie nods as she places the bag down on the counter and pulls a twenty pound note out of her wallet then sets it beside the book. “Few times a week.”

“Must be a big reader then, right?”

“Somethin’ like that,” Jamie says and begins to walks around to the rest of the plants, checking the soil. “I take care of all of this. The plants.”

“The plants?”

“Water em’, repot em’, move em’ if I need to. The plants were my idea, ‘bout a year ago. Thought they could brighten things up, make it more inviting, and I help Albert out when he needs it. Was glad when the old bloke finally put the sign up in the window. He’s been needing help for longer than he’d ever be willing to admit but he’s too proud. I wish I could have helped him out more but my job keeps me busy.”

The book about ferns begins to make more sense and Dani is captivated by Jamie and listens so carefully as she speaks, absorbing every word that spills from her lips in that thick, addicting accent. “What do you do for work?”

“Got a lot of questions for me don’t ya, Dani?” Jamie spins around and crosses her arms. She slyly smiles and Dani ducks her head down, a little embarrassed by her own inquisitiveness. 

“If ya really want to know, I do the groundskeeping for a property just outside of town,” Jamie says. “Now it’s my turn for a question. How did a woman like you end up in a place like this?”

Dani glances up and looks around the space. She shrugs. “I saw the sign. Applied for the job.”

“Ah, not the shop. The town. The country. England, in all its gloomy glory.”

“I don’t know what you mean. I grew up about 15 kilometres away. You don’t think I sound like I belong here?” Dani replies jokingly. It earns her a chuckle from Jamie and the sound is music to Dani’s ears. 

“Funny.” 

“I have my reasons for being here. A lot of them. And it’s a long story.”

Jamie swallows and nods. “Maybe you can tell me sometime.”

It’s a bold statement but there’s a hopefulness to it, an eagerness, and Jamie is looking at her in a way she swears no one ever has and it makes her feel things. Strong things. Things that she’s never, ever felt from one conversation with a stranger before and the boldness is very much appreciated. There was something about this woman, a calm to her. A kindness. Dani can feel it and she doesn’t know why yet, but she wants to know her. Wants to tell her all about her reasons for running away. It wouldn’t be the worst thing to have a friend in town, someone to talk to, spend time with. And it certainly wouldn’t hurt if that person was an incredibly gorgeous brunette who came in that day to buy a book about...ferns. 

“Maybe you’ll just have to come back and see me then,” Dani replies. She says it in a more flirtatious tone than she intends to and regrets it immediately but then Jamie licks her lips and smiles again and any ounce of regret vanishes. 

“I will definitely be back,” Jamie says. “For the plants.” 

“Right. Of course. The plants.”

Jamie walks back to the counter and picks up the paper bag. She slides the book out and holds it in her hands. “Supposed to be a real good one. You should read it, might change your life.”

Dani laughs and grins and Jamie’s eyes almost seem to sparkle as she does. “You’ll have to let me borrow it when you’re done.”

“Deal,” Jamie replies quickly. She walks away from the counter and stops by the doorway. “Let Albert know I popped in and paid for the book, yeah? See ya around, Dani.” She winks, opens the door and then disappears into the world outside. 

Dani is painfully alone in the shop again and the silence feels more vast than it did before, as though Jamie’s voice had filled the space in the most perfect way and now the absence of it was almost cruel. She might be alone in the ship but suddenly, she didn’t feel so alone in a new country, new town, new job. Within minutes this curious woman had carved out a small place in Dani’s life and it was unlike anything she had ever known before. 

To keep herself busy and earn her keep, Dani got back to dusting the bookshelves, her thoughts entirely consumed by Jamie. She smiled to herself and hummed a tune out loud and just as he had said, Albert strolled back into the shop an hour after he had left. 

Dani meets him by the door and he takes off his jacket and glances around his store.

“Place is still standing, that’s a good sign,” he says. “How’d it feel, being here alone? Think you can manage working here?”

Yes, she could definitely manage working there. In fact, working there would be perfect. It would be exactly what she needed.

“I think I’m really going to love it here.”


	2. Come Here Often?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani and Jamie's friendship begins to blossom when they run into each other at the local pub and when Jamie offers to give a tour of the area, Dani jumps at the chance to spend more time with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who have already read the first chapter of this story, thank you! It's a bit different from the other Dani/Jamie stories I've written but I'm really enjoying it so far. I hope you enjoy this next installment!

Music quietly floats throughout Dani’s small flat and she sings along to it as she makes herself dinner. In just one week she had managed to turn the space from a plain and undecorated apartment into somewhere she was proud to call home. She had never had her own place to live, her own little private world. Now though, now she could do exactly as she pleased and it filled her with a kind of joy she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Work in the bookstore had been easy enough and she was beginning to understand what Albert meant when he said the store hadn’t been busy in a while. Since her first day in the shop, he had left her on her own a few more times and she could only count on one hand the number of customers that she had helped during those times. Whenever the bell above the door chimed and a local townsperson walked in, Dani hoped that it would be someone else. She’d be lying if she said that person hadn’t been on her mind. It’s not that she wanted to be thinking about her all of the time, she just couldn’t help herself. She thought about asking Albert about her, even let her name slip from her lips one day when Albert asked her to move one of the plants from the window so he could dust. He didn’t pick up on the name and the topic didn’t come up again. 

Her first week of work at the shop had come to an end and it had been more enjoyable than she ever anticipated. Albert was a gentle soul, good-mannered, and kind. He was a delight to spend time with and Dani had already started to learn so much about him. He had never married, never had children, and had owned and operated the bookstore on his own for over forty years. Even without many customers, she was never bored. Not when she was with him, and not when she was alone, but she was growing curious to see what else their small village might have to offer.

“Pub down the road,” Albert had said one afternoon when she asked about a place to get a drink after work. “Down the road and ‘round the corner. Can't miss it.”

And so, when she finishes her meal that night, she changes into the only dress she had brought with her on her travels, pulls on her denim jacket, and heads out the door. She had been to pubs in London, big and busy places that were filled to the brim with people. They were too crowded and too loud, you couldn’t even hear yourself think. She had been hit on by men in those pubs, men who could only comment on her American accent and slim figure and say things about how different she was from all the women in England, how much prettier she was, how interesting she was. It was all bullshit and unwanted attention and she would drink her beer and let them speak, never paying them much mind and they would all go on with their lives completely unchanged. 

The Oak, as it was dubbed, was nothing like the modern pubs she had been to in the trendy neighbourhoods of London. She knew that right away when she stepped inside. The low ceiling had deep dark wooden beams running the length of it and one whole side was occupied by a long bar top with worn wooden stools sitting in front of it. There were two dartboards on the back wall and various oak tables and chairs and lived-in red leather booths. The place was full enough and lively but no one even batted an eye or turned in her direction as she sat down on one of the stools in front of the bar. The benefit of being a nobody in a nowhere place. 

“What’ll it be, miss?” the bartender asks. 

Dani smiles and looks at the beer taps. She drank beer, she liked beer, but she knew absolutely nothing about beer and if she was going to do her best to sink into the local environment, she may as well drink what the locals drink. “Oh...um...what do you recommend? What’s the most popular?” 

He points to one of the taps. “Pretty standard, this one.”

“Then I’ll have that one, thank you.”

A moment later, a pub coaster is placed in front of her and a pint glass is set down on top of it. Dani reaches into her bag and pulls out a handful of coins and gives them to the bartender. He takes them and leaves her and her drink to go help another patron. Dani picks up the glass and takes a sip as she glances around the room. A jukebox in the corner of the room is playing music and she gets up and makes her way over to it, sipping her beer as she does. 

“What do we have here,” she says, browsing through the collection of songs. 

“My thought exactly,” she hears someone to her left say. The voice is familiar. Very familiar. It was a voice that she hadn’t been able to get out of her head since the first time she heard it. 

Dani turns her head to find Jamie leaning against the wall beside the jukebox and her heart does a little leap in her chest at the sight of the woman. 

“Dani,” Jamie says with a grin. “How’ve ya been?”

Jamie is standing before her looking as beautiful as ever and Dani’s pulse starts to quicken in a way she’s somewhat embarrassed by. 

“Great,” Dani replies, too eagerly for her own liking. “Good. I’ve been good.”

“Hope Albert’s not working you too hard,” Jamie says. “He can be a tough nut sometimes but he means well.”

“Oh no, Albert is great. He’s wonderful company.”

Jamie smiles and Dani feels a little weak in the knees. She brings her pint glass back up to her lips and takes a drink, hoping the alcohol will help to calm her nerves. It was all still fairly new to her, being able to accept her attraction to women and know that if she wanted to, she could act on it. But the thing was, she didn’t really know how to act on it because since she had come out to the people in her life, to herself, she had never been with a woman. She was barely able to hold a conversation with the gorgeous brunette standing before looking like a breath of fresh air, how the hell would she ever be able to do more without turning into an awkward and bumbling mess? 

“So…” Dani says, turning around and leaning back against the jukebox. Her eyes dart around the pub and she examines the scene. “Do you come here often?”

The moment the words fall from her mouth, she silently chastises herself for the cheesy line, annoyed that it was the best she could come up with. 

Jamie laughs a little and nods her head. “To be fair, not much else to do ‘round here but drink. Bet you haven’t really seen much outside the walls of that dusty old shop.”

“No…” Dani admits. “I haven’t. I’ve basically just been in my apartment, but I’ve been settling in well enough.”

“Plan on sticking around a while then?” Jamie asks. She slips her hands in the pockets of a pair of jeans that cling to her body in all the right ways.

“I think so, yeah,” Dani replies. “I like it here. It’s nice, quiet.”

“And boring as shite,” Jamie adds, making Dani laugh. A new song starts playing on the jukebox and Dani remembers why she had walked over to it in the first place. It was so easy to get distracted by Jamie, to lose herself in Jamie. 

“Should we pick something new?” She asks and tilts her head in the direction of the jukebox.

“Yeah why not,” Jamie says, pulling her hands from her pockets. She stands beside Dani and looks at the list of songs to pick from. “Let’s liven the place up a bit more, little rock n’ roll maybe.”

They settle on a song by The Ramones and Jamie slips two quarters into the machine and despite the change in genre from the music that had been playing before, no one even seems to notice the new music at all. They stand side by side and their eyes drift around the room, watching as people are unmoved, continuing their conversations as though the music was utterly irrelevant. 

“No taste in this town,” Jamie says, scowling. “No taste at all. Bloody good music...totally lost on them.”

“They’re just not as interesting as we are,” Dani says. Her eyes land on two men throwing darts. One of them misses the board and the dart falls to the ground, landing point down in the faded carpet. 

Jamie looks at Dani. Really looks at her. She notices her soft features and the way loose golden hair spills out from her braid, how her eyes almost seem to sparkle even in the somewhat dim pub. _Beautiful_ , she thinks. How did something so beautiful turn up out of the blue in her little grey corner of the world? She was never one to believe in fate, or that there was some grander plan that the universe had for her. No, none of that. The universe had been one cruel bitch up until that point if that were the case. 

It was just circumstance, dumb luck. It didn’t mean anything and hell, maybe they wouldn’t even be friends. Jamie could tell herself that, but it wouldn’t be true. She could feel it in her bones that their relationship - whatever it might be - was only just beginning. 

“Not even a little bit,” Jamie says. Dani turns and looks at her and she smiles. It’s a bright, warm smile - the kind of smile you reserve for the important people in your life and somehow, that’s how they already felt, as though they mattered to one another. 

“I’m going to get another drink,” Dani says, raising her now empty pint glass. “Want one?” 

_Yes_ , Jamie wants to desperately say. _Yes. I’d love to stay here with you for a while longer._ Regretfully though, those aren’t the words that come out of her mouth. Jamie knows she could sit there and talk to Dani all night long, forever even, and if she were to let herself stick around then she might never leave. 

“Wish I could...but the boss needs me on site before the sun’s up in the mornin’ so, I should go,” she says.

“Oh.” Disappointment plays across Dani’s face but she’s quick to mask it. “That’s okay. Another time then.”

Jamie’s lips curl up into a slight smile. “Maybe...if you wanted, I could show ya around sometime? There’s not a whole lot to see and it’s been chucking it down lately so everything is pretty wet but it might be nice for a bit of a tour. Not that I’m an expert tour guide or anything - “

“Yes,” Dani says, cutting Jamie off. “That would be nice.”

“Perfect,” Jamie says and her smile grows. “I’ll come by the shop in a coupla days and see if Albert will let me steal you away for a bit.”

“I look forward to it,” Dani says. “Do you have a long trip home tonight? Since you work out of town.”

“Not quite.” Jamie points above them. “I have a flat upstairs.”

Dani looks up at the ceiling then back at Jamie and narrows her eyes. “Above the pub?”

“Above the pub,” Jamie confirms. She takes a long deep breath, half smiles, and takes a step away from Dani. “Better get going, don’t want to get stuck in traffic. See you soon, Dani.”

Without another word, Jamie walks away from Dani and across the pub where she stops in front a door beside the bar top. She glances over her shoulder and salutes Dani before pushing open the door and walking through it. 

All at once, Dani feels both alone and fulfilled. The loss of Jamie’s presence is far too noticeable and she isn’t sure how to deal with the feeling but the promise of seeing her again is exhilarating. She spins around and looks at the jukebox. She sets her empty glass down on a nearby table, pulls more coins from her purse and puts two quarters into the machine. She selects the same Ramones song that had finished playing only moments before Jamie had walked away and she stands by listening to the song until the final notes ring out.

___________

“Dani, I was thinking about moving the Shakespeare volumes out from the stacks in the back to the shelves by the window,” Albert calls out as Dani is cashing out a customer.

Dani looks in his direction and smiles but turns her attention back to the customer in front of her at the cash counter. 

“Thank you so much,” she says, handing the customer their change. “I hope your grandson enjoys the book.”

As the customer leaves the store, Albert appears from the back of the store with an armful of books. “The old chap is getting lost in the dark back there.”

“Let me help you,” Dani says. She comes out from behind the counter and takes the books from him. “And I think that’s a great idea. Maybe it’ll entice some people who have never read Shakespeare to pick up one of his plays.”

“People who haven’t read Shakespeare? That should be a crime.”

Dani laughs and carries the books over to the window. She sets them down on the ground and begins to move the books currently occupying the shelves. It’s a rare sunny day and warm morning sunshine beams into the store, lighting the space in a cheerful and inviting way. 

“Nice to not have rain for a change,” Dani says.

“Don’t get used to it, love,” Albert replies, taking a seat behind the counter on the stool. “Mother Nature isn’t too kind to us folk.”

“Well, I’ll take what I can get.”

It’s quiet between them for a while as Dani works and Albert reads. That was something she had discovered during her time there, the ease of it all. They were still practically strangers yet there was never a need to fill each moment with conversation and chatter. He would give her a task and she would complete it and when there was silence, it was comfortable. 

The bell chimes and the door opens and to both Dani and Albert’s delight, Jamie steps inside. She’s wearing the same overalls she had been wearing the first time Dani had seen her and Dani does her absolute best to focus on her task at hand instead of focusing on Jamie, instead choosing to let Albert do all of the talking.

“Jamie my dear, how are you?” 

Albert gets off the stool and Jamie walks over to him and gives him a tight hug. Dani watches on as she places the Shakespeare plays on the shelves in alphabetical order. 

“Good, good, how are you?” Jamie asks.

“Ah, you know, I’m an old man. I’m tired,” Albert replies. 

“Then it’s a good thing you’ve got Dani over there helping you out these days, isn’t it?”

Dani looks in their direction and smiles. 

“I suppose you two met when you came and picked up your book,” Albert says and Jamie nods.

“Think she judged me a little bit on my taste in books,” Jamie whispers, but it’s still loud enough for Dani to hear.

“Hey,” Dani says. “That wasn’t judgment. It was...surprise.”

Albert laughs and takes a seat again behind the counter. Dani continues to organize the books on the shelves, glancing at Jamie every so often. 

“She’s actually why I’ve come by today.”

"You mean you didn't just come to see me?"

Jamie sighs and walks up to the counter and leans against it. "You know I love you, but I do have other people in my life these days."

“Is that right?” Albert asks, eyes darting over to Dani. 

“I was wondering if you could spare her for an afternoon. Ya see, I volunteered myself as a tour guide and thought we could take advantage of the good weather before it’s piss poor again.”

Dani perks up at this and now all of her attention is on Albert and Jamie. 

“I don’t see why not,” he replies. 

“I’ll just finish up this Shakespeare display,” Dani says. “It won’t take me long.”

Jamie taps the counter then walks over to her and scans the books that she’s already placed on the shelves then looks Dani right in the eyes. 

“Hear my soul speak. Of the instant that I saw you, did my heart fly at your service.”

Dani is a little stunned and her whole body starts to tingle. A blush appears across her freckled cheeks and she knows she can’t hide it. A beautiful woman just quoted Shakespeare to her and was now gazing at her with the most beautiful blue eyes and it makes her throat dry. She swallows and takes a breath to steady herself.

“The Tempest,” Jamie says. 

“I know,” Dani manages to reply. “One of my favourites.”

“You know...” Albert says. Dani blinks and Jamie tears her eyes away and looks at Albert. “Jamie wasn’t much of a reader when she wandered into my shop three years ago.”

Jamie rolls her eyes, smirks, and crosses her arms. “I was a reader. I just read books that he thought were rubbish.”

“Classic literature? Completely lost on this one.”

Dani grins and resumes her work with the books, something she's glad to do because if she were to spend another second looking in Jamie's eyes, she might drown in them. “Well, she obviously reads Shakespeare," she says as she slides a hardcover copy of Romeo and Juliet onto the shelf beside a paperback one. 

“Not reading Shakespeare is a bloody crime,” Jamie says and Dani looks back at her with a shocked expression. 

“He said the exact same thing!”

“Great minds and all that.”

___________

When Dani climbs into the passenger seat of Jamie’s green truck, she has absolutely no idea where they’re headed. Jamie gives her no clues, no information, no hints whatsoever. A wiser person might have some fear about getting into a car in an unfamiliar country with someone who is practically a stranger but Dani felt no fear with Jamie, no sense of doubt. She felt safe. 

“Should I be worried?” she jokes. “You’re not taking me out to the middle of nowhere to kill me are you…”

Jamie puts the key into the ignition and the truck rumbles to life. “Nah, not today at least. Tomorrow? Who knows.” 

They both laugh as Jamie turns the steering wheel and pulls away from the side of the road in front of the bookshop. 

The drive is quiet but comfortable as they roll along the road towards some unknown destination, the sun illuminating the landscape in front of them.

“How long have you worked on the estate?” Dani asks, wanting to know more about Jamie. Aching to know more. 

“About three years I’d say,” Jamie replies. “It’s good work. Keeps my hands busy, keeps me fit.”

That was something Dani definitely couldn’t ignore. Jamie’s physique was...admirable, to say the least. Anyone with a pair of eyes would notice it and Dani had most _definitely_ noticed. And shamelessly thought about it. 

“And you work with plants mostly?”

“Sure do. All kinds of ‘em. It’s why I was after that book about ferns. Can’t seem to keep one of them alive and I’ve been struggling to figure out why.”

“To be honest, I don’t know much about plants. I always like to have flowers, right now my apartment is already full of them but I know they won’t last.”

Jamie smiles but keeps her eyes on the road. “Most people only know a little bit about plants and that’s alright. Keeps my kind employed. I could give ya a flower that you can grow in a pot in your flat if you wanted. Wouldn’t have to toss it in the bin after two weeks like the pre-cut ones you buy from the shop.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Got a couple extras laying around the greenhouse I could pick from, no trouble at all.”

They drive for about twenty minutes and Jamie points things out along the way. She dives into a brief history of the area, the type of people who had settled years ago, what the region is known for, and when they turn off the wider paved main road onto a dirt one and pull up in front of a small, old stone church, Dani’s interest and curiosity only seems to grow. They hop out of the truck and Dani stands beside it, absorbing the calming sound of nearby running water.

“There’s a stream that runs just beyond the building, it's a nice place to come and get away,” Jamie says. 

She puts her hands in her pockets and leads Dani towards the building. “It’s not used as a proper church anymore,” Jamie explains. “The building has been empty for years now apparently but the people I work for, they own the land and have pretty much left the place to whoever wants to do something with it.”

The exterior of the stone building has flowers growing all around it and lush greenery climbs up the side, making a home for itself within the cracks between the stone.

“Was this all you?” Dani asks. 

Jamie proudly nods. “Shame to let the place turn to shambles and it’s easy enough to come out here and keep it nice and tidy. Plus, I’m chuffed to have a little spot of my own, though I’ve never really been a religious person.”

“Neither have I,” Dani replies. They walk around the building in easy silence, the sound of the wind blowing through the trees and the nearby stream filling the quiet and adding to the atmosphere. They make it back to the front of the church and Jamie pulls a set of keys from her pocket. She unlocks the doors and opens them. 

Dani stands still and looks up at the small cross on top of the building. “Haven’t found much value in God. Plus, most of the people in my life tell me he’s not exactly fond of people like me.”

“People like you?” Jamie asks.

“Yeah, the whole gay thing doesn’t bode well when it comes to religion.”

It was so easy for her to say now. So simple. For years she had been plagued by the fear that surrounded the word, gay. Yet now, here she was, admitting it in the most blatant way to a woman she found wildly attractive, to a woman that made her heart beat faster when she looked at her, a woman who made her feel like she had always belonged in this new, foreign place.

So, Dani just shrugs and walks past Jamie, stepping inside the church with ease as though the statement that had just come out of her mouth had no significance at all. Jamie stares at her with wide eyes as she moves deeper into the small building and feels like things between them may have just gotten a whole lot more...interesting. Not only did this pretty, kind, well-spoken blonde walk into her gloomy northern English world, but she was also gay. _Fuck_ , Jamie thinks. _Now I’m really a goner_. 

“So did you buy this building from the people you work for?” Dani asks as she admires the faded stained glass windows. She lifts her hand up and runs a finger along a crack in the glass.

Jamie follows her into the church and sits on one of the wooden chairs in the middle of the room. There were no rows of pews, no altar, just a few chairs scattered throughout the space, and some stone benches. 

“Not quite, but they trust me enough to give me a set of keys I guess,” she says. 

“That must be nice,” Dani says, turning around. “I guess Albert already trusts me like that. I must admit though, I was sort of terrified when he left me that first day. He had known me all of five minutes but he still walked away leaving his entire business in my hands.”

Jamie laughs and the sound echoes throughout the small space. “He’s a good man. And you seem pretty trustful.”

“Maybe that’s just what I want you to think,” Dani jokes and takes a seat on one of the chairs beside Jamie. She looks around the church and wonders if Jamie has ever brought anyone else to her little spot, her special place, or if she was special. It seemed important to her, she was clearly proud of the upkeep she had done and that made it matter more to Dani. Jamie came across as the type of person who might not open up to just anyone and maybe if Dani was lucky, she’d get to be someone who could know her more. They really could be friends, and perhaps they already were. 

“Guess I haven’t given you much of a tour when I’ve only brought you to one place,” Jamie says. She stands and looks around the room as afternoon sun streams in through the windows. Despite the faded nature of the stained glass, colour still pooled on the floor amongst the shadows.

“It’s a beautiful place,” Dani says. “Thank you for showing it to me.”

They spend the rest of their time by the river beyond the church tossing rocks in the water and Jamie tells Dani all about the work she does on the estate and why she likes the nearby landscape and Dani tells her about the four years she spent studying literature in university. The conversation comes naturally, it’s organic, and both women start to question just how lonely they might actually be in their lives given how wonderful it felt to be in the company of someone they felt so comfortable with.

They could have stayed there for hours talking endlessly about everything but when the sun begins to dip lower in the sky, Jamie drives them back into town. Dani points her in the direction of her flat and she pulls up in front of the building and turns off the truck. 

Dani moves to get out of the car but stops before she does. “Oh! I meant to ask you earlier when you mentioned it, did you end up finishing your book about ferns?”

Jamie smiles. “Ah, yea, I did. Was a useful book, should be able to keep that dodgy plant alive now.”

“Would I be able to borrow it sometime?” 

“You know I was only joking when I said you should read it…”

“Are you judging me for my interest in certain books?” Dani asks, her words echoing Jamie’s playful ones from their conversation that morning in the bookstore with Albert. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Jamie replies. “But it’s not exactly a page-turner.”

Dani feels the slight flutter of butterflies in her stomach again as she looks at Jamie with a hopeful expression. It had been a perfect day and everything she was already feeling for the woman had grown so quickly, taking her completely by surprise. The feelings were far too new to ever voice out loud and she was afraid of letting herself fall into someone who may very well just only ever want to be her friend. But friendship would be okay. Friendship would be nice. She needed friendship. Friendship should come first. But that felt easier said than done when one afternoon with Jamie made Dani feel warm inside, made her feel like she belonged, made her feel like maybe she wasn’t a nobody in a nowhere place after all, but a someone in a wonderful place. It was easier said than done when she couldn’t stop her eyes from flicking down to Jamie's lips, having to force her gaze back up to the brunette’s eyes.

“Maybe I want to learn something new.”

“Then it’s yours to read. I’ve got to come by and check on the plants in a day or so anyway so I’ll bring it with me.”

“Thank you,” Dani says. “And thanks again for the tour. You were a great guide.”

“Well, the company wasn’t so bad either.”

They sit in the car smiling at each other like lovestruck fools until a car alarm goes off up the road and Dani decides it’s probably time for her to hop out and head inside. She opens the door and slides out of the truck, smiling at Jamie once more before shutting the door and walking around the truck and into her building. 

Jamie sits alone in the truck for a few more minutes, looking up at Dani’s building through her window then closes her eyes and rests her head against her steering wheel. She takes a long deep breath then laughs a little to herself and shakes her head. 

Yup. She was a goner. They both were.


	3. We're Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani comes up with a clever way to pull more people into the bookstore and then she spots Jamie with another woman one night after not seeing her for days and jealousy sets in. It was already getting harder and harder to just be Jamie's friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all! Thank you so much to everyone who has left me kind words on this story. It means a lot to know people are liking what I'm writing and I hope that continues! I didn't intend to make this chapter so long but sometimes you start writing and you can't stop!
> 
> Fun note: The Secret Garden is one of my favourite books and for some reason it felt right to make it Dani's. (Definitely has nothing to do with Jamie’s love of gardens...nothing at all.)
> 
> Again, thank you all for reading and I hope this new chapter is one you enjoy!

Rain. Lots and lots of rain. It was spring in England so the rain didn’t come as a surprise to Dani but the sheer amount of rain...that was a bit of a shock to the system. It was raining when Dani’s head hit the pillow at night and raining when she opened her eyes in the morning and raining as she bravely stepped out of her building on a dark Thursday morning and popped up her umbrella. Well, she thought she was brave. Turns out everyone around her was just so used to it that they weren’t really bothered by the water but every part of her felt damp and chilled. Before heading to the bookstore that morning Dani walked the four blocks and down the road around the corner to the cafe to get herself a cup of coffee and some cookies to share with Albert as a nice treat to brighten their mood.

The bookstore had only served a handful of customers over the past couple of days and Albert was starting to worry about the finances while Dani was wracking her brain trying to think of creative ways to get people in the door. She hadn’t seen Jamie in days and had been taking care of the plants in her absence which almost felt wrong. She was disappointed to find out that Jamie had in fact come by the shop to leave the book about ferns for her like she said she would but to Dani’s disappointment, it hadn’t happened when she was in the store. 

With an umbrella in one hand and a hot takeaway cup of coffee in the other, Dani hurries her way through the rain but stops a block away from the bookstore when she spots a familiar green truck parked outside. She smiles but the smile soon fades as she watches through the blanket of rainfall as Jamie exits the bookstore, climbs up into her truck, and drives off. 

Moments later, she pushes open the door to the shop with her shoulder, sets her coffee cup down on the window ledge beside her, and closes her umbrella, shaking it off and leaning it against the wall by the door. 

“Morning, Albert,” she calls out as she walks towards the back room situated behind an old creaky wooden staircase that leads up to Albert’s home. She hangs up her coat and hears movement in the flat upstairs and when she comes back out onto the shop floor, Albert slowly descends the staircase into the shop.

“Morning love,” he says. “Another beautiful day.”

Dani hands him the package of cookies she bought with a smile. “I got us some cookies. We deserve it.”

“Cookies?” 

“Ah, right.” She had learned that some of her American terminologies would get lost in translation and had overheard a woman at the cafe refer to the snacks Albert holds as something else. “I mean biscuits. I got some biscuits.”

“Oh lovely, we can have these with a spot of tea. Fancy a cup? I’ll put the kettle on.” He moves around her into the room behind the staircase and Dani can hear the sink turn on as he fills a kettle. 

“No thanks, I got myself some coffee,” she replies as she goes to retrieve said coffee from the window ledge. She looks through the window as heavy raindrops land against it and tries to spot any souls out on the road. She sighs and spins around then sits on a section of the windowsill not covered in books. “Oh uh…did I see Jamie leaving a few minutes ago or was that just my eyes playing tricks on me in the rain?”

“She was here,” Albert calls out. “Stopped by to ask a favour of me then had to rush off to cover some roses before the wind got to them first. Works herself to the bone, that one. In all weather conditions. Poor girl.” 

“I thought she might…” Dani’s sentence trails off and she shakes her head. “Never mind.”

 _I thought she might want to see me_ , is what she wants to say. What she hopes for. It’s twice now that she’s missed out on a conversation with the woman and it was driving her a bit mad considering Dani had found herself daydreaming about her three times since their afternoon at the old stone church. Once when a woman was asking her about a Harry Potter book, once when she was stirring some cream into her coffee and by the time she snapped out of it the coffee had turned lukewarm, and again as Albert was speaking to her about a delivery they were expecting - a box of books newly published, written by a young local author. 

Being pulled from her daydream for that conversation had made a lightbulb go off above her head and she had an idea, a good one. 

“Those books are coming today right?” Dani asks when Albert sits down behind the counter with his cup of tea.

“Mmhmm,” he mumbles as he takes a sip. “Quite right.”

“I was thinking...what if we tried to arrange a book launch and a reading? It's a local author so there is a lot of local press surrounding the book and I overheard two women talking about it at the cafe. It’s a real hometown hero type of story, don’t you think? That could get people in the shop, have them buying the book to get signed, and maybe have them buying some other books too?”

“Might be tough…” Albert says, considering her idea. “Might be tough to drag ‘em back from London to this old place.”

“Worth a shot though, no?” Dani paces around the entryway of the bookstore and points to the ground in front of the big window. “We can set up a little table here and then some chairs over there. Make it small and intimate. Make it special. I can try to work it all out and find the contacts and if nothing comes of it, we at least gave it a shot, right?”

Albert smiles and nods his head. He takes one of the treats Dani had gotten for them and dunks it into his tea then takes a bite and hums at the satisfying taste. He swallows, has another sip of tea, and sets his cup back down. 

“Oh blimey, why not. If you’re willing to take on the work then who I am to stop you.”

“Really?” Dani claps her hands together and grins, brimming with excitement. “Oh Albert, this could be great for the store. I really think it could. I won’t let you down.”

And suddenly it was as if the prospect of potential success had spilled through the cracks surrounding the front door willing people into the warm space because the bell above the door rings and someone steps into the shop from off the street dripping wet.

“Morning, morning,” they say and wipe water drops off their forehead. “I was wondering if you might be able to help me find a book for my wife.”

Dani looks at Albert and winks. “Good for the store,” she mouths to him, then focuses all of her attention on their customer. 

“I can certainly try, sir. Which book are you looking to buy?”

___________

Dani had found herself back at the pub that night just for the sake of being around people. She was fine being alone, happy, and content in the quiet comfort that came with being in her flat and being with Albert in the bookstore but she was hungry for a little more social interaction. A little noise. 

When she got her beer, she went straight for the jukebox to put on the same Ramones song she and Jamie had chosen the week before. Her eyes had scanned the pub for the brunette the second she walked in but Jamie was nowhere to be found and Dani ended up striking up a conversation with two women in their fifties while their husbands played darts. 

“America? Gosh. You sure did travel a long way just to turn up here,” one of the women says. 

Dani laughs and shrugs. “I was in London for six months before making my way up north.”

“Course you were,” the second woman replies. “Too many people for my likin’ in London. Bit dodgy. Always worried someone is going to nick something from my purse. Happened to my niece one time, lost her cash card that way.”

“Well, I consider myself lucky then. Nothing was ever stolen from me but I’m just not really a city type of girl.”

She’s so wrapped up in the conversation with her new friends that Dani never notices when Jamie enters the pub. Jamie notices her though. In fact, Dani is the first thing she sees when she sits down at the bar and orders herself a drink. It had been a long fucking day and she was tired, cold, and desperately needed something to take the edge off. 

Jamie could hear the familiar soft voice cut through the rest of the noise in the room, the accent stood out amongst a wall of thick northern voices and it was like music to Jamie’s ears. She considers walking over to say hi, almost gets up off the stool to do it but stops herself. Work on the estate had been so grueling and so busy that she didn’t have time to stop into the bookstore for a proper chat so she quickly did what she had to do and left before getting to see a person she knew would put a smile on her face and now for some reason, she was nervous to go strike up a conversation. 

She didn’t get nervous around pretty girls. She was confident, bold. Dani was different though. It was new, what Jamie was feeling. Dani mattered. She didn’t exactly know why yet but she could feel it in her bones. 

So, instead of going across the room to say hello Jamie sits alone and drinks her whisky. She watches Dani toss her head back in laughter as one of the ladies at the table tells a joke and even with her back to her, Jamie knows that Dani is smiling widely. When a woman sits down beside Jamie at the bar, she rolls her eyes and grits her teeth. 

“Not now,” Jamie says. 

The woman beside her tucks red hair behind her ear and frowns. “Come on Jamie, I miss ya,” she says. “I’ve been thinkin’ about ya..”

“I’m just trying to have a drink and then I’ll be on my way, alright? Sod off.”

“Jaaaaamie,” the redhead loudly whines. 

Dani’s ears perk up when she hears the name spoken across the pub and she narrows her eyes and scans the room. When she spots Jamie sitting at the bar with an unfamiliar woman her heart drops a little in her chest. The woman pulls her stool closer to Jamie and leans into her, whispering in her ear and the sight fills Dani with an unfamiliar pang of jealousy. She knows she shouldn’t be jealous. She has no right to be jealous. She barely knows Jamie. But she wants to know Jamie, she wants to know everything about her, wants to make her smile, make her laugh, wants to be her...anything. 

“Have you ever been to California?” one of the women sitting beside Dani asks. 

She tears her eyes away from the bar and shakes her head. She doesn’t want to watch whatever scene is unfolding. Suddenly all she wants to do is leave. _I’m overthinking this_ , she thinks. _Calm down._

“Years ago my flatmate in uni went to California on holiday one summer and said it was all fake tans and breasts.”

Dani picks up her pint glass, still half full, and chugs it back. The alcohol settles itself in her stomach and only helps to slightly calm her now anxious nerves. Maybe beer wasn’t strong enough. She sets the now empty glass down on the table, wipes her lips on the back of her hand, and tries to pay attention to the kind people sitting across from her trying to hold a conversation. 

One of the husbands playing darts looks over his shoulder when he picks up on the conversation. “What we talkin’ about now? Someone say breasts?”

She can’t focus though and drops her gaze down to her hands in her lap and picks at her fingernails. She takes a long deep breath and decides to shoot another glance over her shoulder, unable to keep herself from looking at Jamie. There was a natural pull, a gravity between them that neither understood but were both starting to feel in a big way.

When she looks, Jamie is getting up off the barstool and pulling the redhead’s hands off her bicep. She looks in Dani’s direction and they lock eyes. It’s an electric connection. In another situation, it might even feel magical. At that moment though it feels like too much and Dani immediately looks back down at her hands. 

“It’s not going to happen,” Jamie says quietly to the red-haired woman. She shakes her head and swiftly walks away from the bar then disappears through the door and up to her flat. 

Dani doesn’t see any of that though. She has too many thoughts racing through her mind to be able to look for Jamie again. 

_You don’t know her. You spent one afternoon together. Don’t get attached. Do **not** get attached._

___________

Books are a very good distraction. Books are a beautiful distraction. Dani is very glad to have books in her life and a day by herself in the bookstore means she can sit behind the counter and sink into a new paperback once all of her morning tasks are complete. Reading on the job was something Albert let her do when the real work was finished and she was grateful for that. 

The rain still hasn’t subsided and as she sweeps the store, the sound of it hitting the window and falling on the top of the two-story building washes over her. It’s calming and comforting. She hums along to music in her head like she had done during her first time alone in the shop but the bell rings, the door opens, and her quiet alone time is disrupted.

“Be with you in just a moment,” she says.

“All good. Take your time.”

That voice. _Her_ voice. Jamie. 

Dani freezes and closes her eyes. She takes a long deep breath and leans the broom up against one of the bookshelves and turns around. 

“Sorry...didn’t mean to interrupt your work,” Jamie says when their eyes meet. She smiles tenderly and slips her hands into the pockets of the gray jumpsuit she's wearing. 

“You didn’t. It’s nice to see you again,” Dani says.

“I’d say it’s been a while but I know you saw me last night.”

For a minute Dani does nothing. She just stands awkwardly by the bookshelf. Her shoulders fall but she takes a deep breath and shrugs then moves towards the counter and leans against it. She's dying to ask Jamie who the red-haired woman was, what she was to her, what it all meant but she doesn't. It's not her place. “I might have...yeah.”

Jamie lifts a hand to her hair and runs her fingers through it. Dani tries not to stare as it happens but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought of running her own fingers through the curly brown locks. “Look...I don’t know what you saw but it wasn’t - “

“Hey, it’s fine,” Dani says in the most nonchalant way she can. “You don’t have to tell me anything. I’m still just a stranger, don’t worry about it.”

“Oh.” Jamie’s voice drops and she looks down at her scuffed boots. “I thought...I don’t know, I guess I thought maybe you and I were friends now.” 

There’s sadness in her voice and Dani hates it, deciding right then and there that she doesn’t want to hear Jamie sound like that again. “We are. We are friends,” she says. 

_I think you’re one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen in my life and you make my heart feel like it could burst out of my chest just by standing close to me but yes, we’re friends. I want to be your friend._

“Yeah?” Jamie looks back up. She's smiling again and Dani knows that a smile suits Jamie far more than a frown..

“Definitely,” Dani replies. “And as my friend, do you mind grabbing a mop and wiping up the trail of wet footprints you just left on the clean floor of this book store?”

Jamie laughs a little bit and walks towards the small room behind the back of the stairs.

“Mop still in the same place then?” 

Dani nods and Jamie slips into the room. When she comes out she’s carrying a mop and a half-filled bucket with soapy water. “Anything else, boss?”

“Well…” Dani puts her hands on her hips and looks around the shop “We did just get a delivery of books this morning and the boxes need to be moved but they’re pretty heavy…”

“Oy, don’t push it.”

45 minutes later, Jamie puts a watering can away under the stairs and wipes her hands off on her jumpsuit. When she exits the storage room behind the stairs she can see Dani sitting behind the counter reading. She notices the delicate concentration on her face, the way her lips are slightly parted, eyes eagerly scanning the page. She looks so relaxed and it’s a beautiful sight, but it’s the book that really catches Jamie’s eye though. A very specific book about ferns. Part of her wonders if Dani is only reading it to be polite, reading it so if she’s caught with the book she can claim, _I did say I wanted to read it_. Or maybe, maybe Dani really did want to learn something new. Maybe Dani was reading it so she could talk to her about ferns. Either way, the sight makes Jamie feel butterflies in her stomach and as she stands there admiring Dani’s beauty, she accepts the terrifying fact that she was starting to fall hard for this woman. 

Hard and fast. And she hopes that whatever Dani thinks she may have seen the night before at the pub goes forgotten, never to be discussed. She hopes that if she’s lucky, very lucky, maybe Dani might just be feeling the same way. 

“What’s your favourite book?” Jamie asks. It’s a question that just tumbles from her lips. She doesn’t even think about it - she just wants to know. 

Dani glances up from the book about ferns. She closes it on the counter in front of her and repositions herself on the stool. 

“Surely it’s not that masterpiece.” Jamie points to the book and narrows her gaze.

“I don’t know...it might be. I’m three chapters in and feeling very inspired,” Dani says with a smile.

Jamie laughs and approaches the counter. She leans against it and taps a knuckle against the wood.

“Really though. You don’t work in a book shop or study books without reading a lot of ‘em. So, what’s your favourite?”

Dani’s eyes light up as she thinks about the question. The corners of her mouth curl up slightly and all Jamie wants to do is lean across the counter, slip a hand around her neck and kiss her. There’s never been someone she’s wanted to kiss more than Dani. Dani makes her feel like more than the woman who works on the big estate just outside of town. Dani makes her feel like she’s interesting and worthy of people’s time and god, she really, really wants to kiss her. 

But she won’t. She can’t. Because they’re friends. 

“The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.”

“Why is it your favourite?” 

“Gosh. Big question. I spent a lot of time on my own when I was a kid and when I’d read it, I’d disappear into the world and beautiful garden that Frances describes and I’d feel less alone like Mary does when she finds the garden. Sometimes I’d feel like I belonged in that world far more than I belong in this one. I think you’d really like it.”

“Is there a copy here in the shop?” Jamie asks. 

“Huh,” Dani replies and cocks her head to the side. “You know, I haven’t had to check for anyone yet but probably? It’s a pretty big classic when it comes to children’s literature and it is famously a successful English novel.” 

Jamie turns around and heads towards the children’s section in the back of the bookstore. She scans the shelves, jumping from author to author, and then she sees it in all of its glory. A hardcover copy of The Secret Garden. She pulls it from its home on the shelf and walks back to Dani.

“Excuse me miss,” she says with her best proper customer sounding voice as she places the book between them. “I’d like to buy this, please.”

Dani laughs a little bit and the sound is pure warmth to Jamie. “You know I own this book, right? I brought it with me when I came here. I can just lend it to you.”

Jamie shakes her head. “I have perfectly good English money and this is how I’m choosing to spend it. It’s important to support local businesses, Dani.”

She pulls a wallet out of her back pocket, slips a twenty-pound note out of it and holds it out to Dani who smirks and punches some numbers into the cash register. It dings open and she takes the bill and gathers some coins. 

“And here is your change ma’am.”

Dani lifts her arm and holds out the money but Jamie shakes her head again, refusing to take it. 

“Nah, keep it. Consider it a tip for your excellent customer service.” 

Just then another customer walks into the store and Jamie turns her head in their direction but Dani doesn’t. Dani looks at her and as hard as she tries, she can’t look away. She is completely and utterly captivated by the woman standing in front of her and she decides that she’s okay with it. Whatever happens or doesn’t happen between them would be okay as long as they got to spend time together. 

“Help ya find anything, sir?” Jamie asks the customer. 

The man smiles politely. “Just browsing, thank you.”

When Jamie turns back to Dani she finds a pair of curious blue eyes studying her, a pair of blue eyes staring right into her soul. 

Dani can’t help herself. She really can’t. She swallows, searching for confidence from within and somehow, by a miracle, she finds some. 

“Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow night?” 

The words spill from her lips in a rushed manner and the question takes Jamie by surprise but Dani is looking at her like a refusal might break her heart and she doesn’t need to think. It’s an easy answer. An instant answer. No way in hell would she be refusing to spend an evening alone with Dani. Only a fool would refuse that. 

“I’d love to.”

___________

Were there some regrets about inviting Jamie to dinner? Yes. Was she running around like a madwoman making sure everything in her apartment looked perfect? Yes. Did she spend an hour trying to decide what to wear despite only arriving in town with a backpack and one suitcase? Yes. 

Dani stands in her bedroom looking at herself in the mirror. She’s left her hair down, out of its typical braid, and it falls around her face. She looks down at her floral dress, the only dress she has, and wishes she had taken the time to go out and buy something new to wear but then she had to remind herself - _she’s just your friend. You invited her here to have dinner as friends. This is not a date._

There’s a knock on her front door and her head snaps up. She leaves the bedroom and enters the living room where music is playing quietly in the background. A pot with pasta in water and a pot with sauce cooks on a low boil on the stove with a bottle of wine waiting to be corked and two glasses nearby. Dani takes one last glance around the room and nods reassuringly. She takes a deep breath and opens the door and the sight she’s met with is the kind of thing dreams are made of. In fact, it was exactly the kind of thing that had filled her dreams for days now. 

Jamie is standing in the hallway wearing dark blue jeans, a button-down shirt tucked in at the waist, and a brown jacket. Her hair is pinned back slightly on one side and Dani very shamelessly lets her eyes rake over the woman standing before her and when her eyes make it back up to Jamie’s face, she’s met with a curious grin. 

“Hi,” Jamie says. 

“Hi,” Dani replies. She stands on the threshold and smiles as Jamie peers over her shoulder into the apartment. 

“Planning on invitin’ me in or are we eating in the hallway?”

“Oh! Right. Please, come in.” Dani steps aside and motions for Jamie to walk in. “Make yourself at home.”

Jamie puts her hands in her pockets and walks inside. Her eyes scan the small space and she smiles to herself because it looks and feels so much like Dani. The books stacked on the coffee table, the vase of fresh flowers by the window, even the smell. It was all so...Dani. 

“Like what you’ve done with the place,” she says and spins around. Dani closes the door, locks it, and looks around the room. 

“Thank you. It’s not much, but it’s home.”

“It’s nice. Warm.”

Dani leaves the door and walks over to the stove. 

She stirs the pasta and Jamie approaches and comes to stand beside her. She leans against the countertop and purses her lips.

“Anything I can do to help?” 

“Feel free to open the bottle there if you want, the cork is in the drawer.”

Jamie obliges and retrieves the wine cork then pops the bottle and fills two wine glasses to about half full. 

“I wasn’t sure what you liked so I just got what I liked. Feels like the kind of meal you need wine with,” Dani says. 

“This is great. I feel like a bad houseguest now though, realize I should have brought a bottle or somethin’ with me.” 

Dani laughs a little bit and shakes her head. “Don’t worry about it, I asked you to come for dinner. All you had to do was turn up and I’m glad you did.”

Jamie brings her wine glass to her mouth and takes a small sip then looks at Dani’s face. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

A slight blush creeps across Dani’s cheeks and it highlights the few freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose and Jamie smiles a little bit at the sight. It’s adorable and so incredibly endearing. Dani keeps her eyes fixed on the pasta sauce she’s stirring, a little nervous to turn and meet Jamie’s gaze. She can feel her eyes on her and it makes her heart beat a bit faster in her chest. 

“No...that’s not...I’m just happy to have the company is all,” Dani says. Jamie is standing so close and the sweet smell of a woodsy scented perfume she’s wearing wafts over to Dani and it envelopes her senses completely. 

Jamie smirks and pulls away from the counter and begins to walk around the living room. “I’m happy to have the company too.” 

Dani closes her eyes and takes a few steadying breaths. _This isn’t normal_ , she thinks. _Friends shouldn’t make you feel this way_ , she thinks. _Is this normal?_

“So how’s work been for you?” Dani asks, desperate to change the subject and desperate to get out of her own head. 

“Hectic to be fair, lots going on over at the estate right now,” Jamie replies. “The owners have planned some big garden party that’s happening in a month so it means everything needs to be planted now so it starts to bloom in time.” 

Dani glances over her shoulder just as Jamie takes a seat on the couch. “Wow,” she says then turns back to the sauce. “You and the rest of the landscaping staff must be busy then.” 

“It’s just me,” Jamie says.

“Hmm?”

“No other staff. It’s just me.”

This makes Dani stop her stirring. She turns around fully and gawks at Jamie. “You’re the only person who does the landscaping for an entire estate?”

Jamie shrugs and drinks her wine. She leans back against the couch pillows and brings a hand up to her neck and fiddles with a silver chain necklace.“I like being busy.”

“I do too but that feels like a lot of work for one person.”

“Don’t mind it to be honest. I like the responsibility of it all, the planning, the water schedules, the digging around, and messing about in the dirt. It’s good work.”

An image of Jamie, elbow-deep in the soil, muscles tensed, with sweat on her brow looking all strong and determined pops into Dani’s head and she quickly has to shake it away or else risk losing herself in it completely. She slots it away, saves it for later when she needs it. 

“You must be very good at what you do if you’re the only person who does it. I'm impressed,” Dani says.

Jamie smirks. “Oh, I am. I am very good.”

Their meal was eaten with easy conversation. There was a comfortable fluidity to their back and forth, just like there had been at the old church. It was mostly simple chatter about work, the town, people, nothing too deep and insightful. Jamie complimented her on her cooking skills and joked about her own.

“I’m proper shite,” she had said. “I usually cook just to get some food in me and not to enjoy it.”

“Well it was nice to cook for you,” Dani had replied.

But then they finished eating and the conversation moved to the couch along with another bottle of wine that Dani had stored away. She had hoped for more conversation, more time with Jamie, never wanting the evening to come to an end. 

“Do you have a lot of friends in town?” Dani asks.

_Like handsy redheads in local small town pubs._

“Not really,” Jamie replies, her voice quiet. “Never really had a lot of time to make friends and I guess I’m not that much of a people person. I’ve got Albert though.”

“And me,” Dani quickly adds. 

Jamie smiles warmly. “And you. Which is nice, it’s nice having someone to talk to.”

Dani’s eyes flick down to Jamie’s lips and then back up to her eyes. Her kind, sparkling blue eyes. Her eyes said so much. Held so much. There was a loneliness in them, a sadness, depth. 

“Yeah, it is,” Dani replies.

There’s a shift in the mood and suddenly the room is filled with a thick tension that feels like it could be cut with a knife. Jamie reaches her hand out and places it on top of Dani’s. 

“I’m glad you turned up in this place when you did. Think I was starting to feel a bit lost.”

“Feeling lost is what brought me here,” Dani replies. Jamie softly swipes her thumb over Dani’s knuckles and that simple moment of physical contact sends a shiver through Dani. Time stops. Her heart pounds in her chest and she wants to slip her fingers into Jamie’s hand.

She opens her mouth to say something more but catches a glimpse of a clock in the wall behind Jamie and it feels like a sign that she should stop herself before she does something she can’t take back. What she wants to do though, what she is aching to do, is kiss Jamie, to fall into her, to feel and discover all of her. _Not yet_ , a voice in her head shouts. _You don’t want to lose her yet._

“God, is that the time?” Dani says. 

Jamie pulls her hand away and looks over at the clock. Just like that, the tension evaporates and she drops her head, brings her hand back towards her own body, and puts a distance between herself and Dani that almost hurts. 

“I should go,” Jamie says. 

Dani tries to think of something clever to say, something funny and smart to save the situation before it gets more awkward than she knows it already is but she can’t muster up much of anything and she’s frustrated with herself because of it. 

“Yeah,” she replies.

Jamie stands and Dani does the same. They look at each other again then silently walk across the room towards the door. 

“Thanks for dinner,” Jamie says. “I’ll see you around, yeah?” Dani nods and opens the door. Jamie steps into the hallway and puts her hands in her pocket. She half-smiles and turns to leave but stops and looks back one more time.

“Goodnight, Jamie,” Dani says. She leans against the doorframe and searches Jamie’s face for any clues that might tell her she made a mistake in pulling away on the couch but she finds none. 

“Night,” Jamie replies, and then she’s gone. 

Dani watches her walk down the hallway then closes her door and leans back against it. She shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. It was the right thing to do. The smart thing to do. Because they’re friends and friends can’t look at each other that way, one friend shouldn’t melt under another friend’s touch. She needed a friend. There’s no way she can just be Jamie’s friend. It was proving to be impossible. 

“Great,” she says, chastising herself out loud. “Well done, Dani.”

The second Jamie turns the corner into the stairwell she puts a hand against the wall to steady herself. She’s confused and unsure about what had just unfolded and everything she thought Dani may have felt for her suddenly becomes muddy and hazy. Did she imagine it all? Read too much into it? The looks, the shuddered breaths, the...flirting? Had there been flirting or was she just so lost in Dani’s presence that she made it up? 

That night both Dani and Jamie lay awake in their beds thinking of each other. The evening hadn’t ended in a way either anticipated but all they could think about was when they could spend more time together because the undeniable gravity they shared wouldn’t let things slip away that easily. 

Love-struck fools. Both of Them. Just friends? Yeah right. 


	4. Fate Works in Our Favour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments I've received on the last chapter have been amazing and it's honestly been such wonderful inspiration to write more for you all. Nothing feels better than knowing that people are genuinely enjoying your work and knowing you've all been enjoying this story makes me so happy! 
> 
> I truly hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last three! x

“And that’s the most updated contact information I should use if I’d like to reach their literary agent?”

Dani is sitting on the stool behind the counter at the bookstore with the phone to her ear. She scribbles down notes onto a pad of paper and smiles as the voice on the other end of the line says something.

“Thank you so much,” she says. “That’s very helpful. Yeah, you too. Take care.”

She hangs up the phone and writes down a few more notes before jumping up off the stool and walking towards the entrance of the bookstore. She flips around a sign on the door so the word ‘OPEN’ is facing out and peers through the glass, hoping to spot some potential early customers out on the road.

For the first time during any of her shifts at the bookstore, she had made nearly fifteen sales the day before and according to Albert, that was a very good day. It didn’t seem like much to her though, not when she felt like the shop really could flourish if you found ways to bring people in. And the author's reading would be a great start...if she could make it happen. 

Dani walks around and dips her fingers into the soil of all of the plants that are scattered about the store, trying to gauge whether or not Jamie might be popping by to tend to them. _She’d be coming for plants_ , Dani thinks. _Not for me. The plants._ They hadn’t spoken since the abrupt end to their dinner a couple of days before and Dani was worried that she had somehow put a distance between them by what she felt was almost rushing Jamie out of her apartment. It would have been so easy to fall into Jamie that night, to close the short distance between them on the couch and kiss her. But she hadn’t done that. Instead, she simply muttered a quiet farewell in the doorway and tracked Jamie as she disappeared down the hallway. 

_I really want her to come for me. Screw the plants._

Time had seemed to pass by at the slowest possible pace since then. For both women. While Dani had been trying to occupy her time with organizing the author reading, Jamie was literally burying herself in her work. That morning she found herself wiping blood off her arm after getting caught up in a thorn bush while digging out some thick underbrush and weeds in one of the back gardens on the estate. The thorn had torn a hole right through her jumpsuit and left a jagged scratch down the inside of her arm. She didn’t notice at first, didn’t feel any pain, but then out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the tear and pulled it aside to see her new wound.

“Bloody hell,” she says. Quite literally. She stands from her kneeling position and the front of her legs and gloves are covered in mud and dirt, the ground wet and soft all thanks to the rain. She slips off her gloves and drops them to the ground then pulls a rag from her back pocket and presses it to her bleeding arm. 

Was she throwing herself into work a little more than she normally would? Absolutely. Did it have something to do with Dani? She could lie to herself and say no...but what could that accomplish? She couldn’t stop thinking about her, couldn’t stop replaying the moment on the couch when she had placed her hand on top of the blondes. She couldn’t stop thinking about the blush that spread across Dani’s cheeks by the stove and how it had made her feel. _God, she really is beautiful_ , Jamie had thought in the moment. Well, she was spending a lot of moments since meeting Dani with that thought in mind but to try and stop herself from thinking about it, she works. And works. And works. 

The big garden party on the estate was fast approaching and there was still a lot to do before it arrived, so the work was a welcome but very tiring distraction. 

Jamie makes her way across the grounds towards the greenhouse in search of a first aid kit and she passes by elaborate rose gardens, expertly curated patches of what looks like wildflowers but were deliberately planted, and lush green bushes. Cuts and bruises weren’t unfamiliar in her line of work simply because when you work with your hands outside all day - it’s simply part of the job, but the cut on her arm was still bleeding and she knew she had to bandage it up to avoid a risk of infection. 

Once inside the greenhouse, Jamie finds the first aid kit, and undoes the buttons of her jumpsuit, pulls her arms from the sleeves, and lets the top half hang around her waist. She sits down on a bench with her arms bare in just a t-shirt and digs around in the first aid kit for some antiseptic to clean the cut. She pours some on a cotton ball and takes a steadying deep breath then dabs it against her arm. 

“Fuck,” she mumbles, gritting her teeth as the antiseptic stings her skin. She takes a long shaky deep breath then wraps a bandage around her arm and leans against the bench. Her head falls back and eyes close and there she is again, _Dani_ , in her floral dress with a glass of wine in her hand, hair all flowing around her face and golden. Jamie opens her eyes and reaches to the ground beside the bench where her backpack sits. She opens it and takes out a book. 

She runs her fingers across the cover of her new copy of The Secret Garden and cracks the spine. The point was to not be thinking about Dani but she had to face facts…

...not thinking about Dani had become fucking impossible.

___________

Dani stands on a ladder and reaches up to a high shelf in the far corner of the bookstore as a woman patiently waits behind her while she retrieves the last copy of a book that they have in stock.

“This one must have been meant for you,” she says to the woman as she climbs back down the ladder with the book in hand. 

“Oh, that’s lovely,” the woman replies. “Thank you so much. I’ve been wanting to read this for ages.”

Dani smiles. “I’m happy to help. I hope you enjoy it!”

The woman walks to the front of the store and Albert cashes her out and when she exits the shop, it leaves just the two of them. 

“Might as well flip the sign,” he says to Dani as he begins to count the money in the cash register.

“You sure?” she asks, looking at a watch on her wrist. “There are still fifteen minutes until 6 pm.”

“Can’t imagine many more people will be coming through the door this late on a Monday and there’s a re-run I want to watch on BBC at 6:15 tonight.”

“Well, that is very important,” Dani says with a laugh. She walks across the shop to the front door and is just about to flip the sign to ‘CLOSED’ when a very familiar green truck rolls up out front and parks. She quickly turns around and runs her hands over her hair, tucking in any loose strands that have fallen from her braid. She fixes the shirt tucked in at her waist and spins back around and when she does, Jamie gets out the truck and approaches the door. She spots Dani through the glass and gives her a half-wave. 

Dani opens the door and smiles at her then steps aside as Jamie comes in. 

“Know you’re closin’ up for the night but I thought I’d pop in on my way home,'' Jamie says. She looked in Albert’s direction as she spoke but the words are meant for Dani just as much. 

“There she is,” Albert says, rounding the cash counter. His face lights up and when Jamie walks up to him, he hugs her tightly and she hugs him back just as tight. When they pull back he boops her nose. “I’m happy you’re here actually. Would ya mind giving an old man some help with his radio upstairs?”

“Course I can,” Jamie answers. 

“Dani, you can finish up with the money, yeah?” 

Dani nods and Jamie and Albert head up the stairs to his flat. She flips the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed’, locks the door and settles herself on the stool behind the register to resume counting the money. When she’s finished she listens and can hear muffled voices upstairs and heads towards the back of the store to tidy up a section of children’s books that had been rifled through by a couple of little girls earlier in the afternoon. Ten minutes later Jamie walks down the stairs back into the bookstore and she looks around for Dani and spots something at the back of the store. She heads in its direction in search of the woman she can’t get out of her head. 

Coming to the bookstore wasn’t originally her plan that night but after she got into her truck and drove off the estate, she found herself pulling up in front of the small shop instead of her own flat. 

“Dani?” Jamie calls out as she weaves her way through the stacks. It wasn’t a big bookstore but there were a lot of shelves and a lot of books and Jamie finds Dani sitting on the ground with her back to one of the shelves. She’s got a book in her hands and is absentmindedly flipping through the pages. “Hi,” she says.

Dani looks up at her and smiles. The sight is like a lighting strike straight to her heart. “Hey.”

Jamie sits down on the ground beside her and her eyes drop to the book. “And what literary masterpiece has your attention today?”

“The Outsiders,” Dani replies. She closes the book and flips it over in her hands, studying the back cover. “It’s a great book.”

Jamie reaches out and takes the book from Dani’s hands. “I lie to myself all the time, but I never believe me,” she says, quoting a line from the novel. Dani looks up at her face and she swallows. How fitting of a line that was, because both women were lying to themselves right now, lying to themselves by thinking a friendship is all they could have with each other even though right now they were each feeling all of the same things. All of the same desires. All of the same emotions. So many lies. None of them even remotely believable. 

“S.E Hinton really knew how to tell a story.”

“Yeah,” Jamie says and pulls her gaze away from Dani. She flips through the book now and settles on a page, reading a passage to herself silently. “Yeah, she did.”

“I’m happy you came by,” Dani says. She studies Jamie’s face as her eyes scan the pages of the book. Their arms are pressed against each other and she wants to put her hand on Jamie’s thigh, but she doesn’t because might combust if she does. 

Jamie tears her eyes from the page and when she turns her head, Dani is smiling at her so softly. Inches away, that’s how far she is from Dani and now could be the time when she listens to her heart and not her head. Her heart is screaming at her to lean in. To do SOMETHING.

But it’s not a loud enough voice to give her the courage she needs.

“I am too. I had a great time the other night.”

“I’m sorry if...if it ended too quickly.”

“It didn’t,” Jamie replies and drops the book in her lap. She bumps her shoulder against Dani in the most friend-like way she can. “It was late. It’s okay.”

And any tension that had been between them while they sat there on the ground in front of the bookshelves disappears. Dani sighs and nods then stands and brushes dust off of her pants. Jamie looks up at her and then follows her movements, doing the same. 

“I should uh...I should wrap things up here and head home I think.”

Just then an idea pops into Jamie’s head and it’s completely selfish because all she wants to do is spend more time with Dani and this might allow it. 

“Do you think Albert needs you ‘round the shop tomorrow?” she asks. 

Dani shakes her head. “We’re actually closing the shop tomorrow,” she says and Jamie feels a spark of hope. Her eyes drift to Dani’s lips as she speaks and she has to will them back up without being caught. “All of the rain did some damage to the roof and water started to leak into the walls at the back so Albert has some people coming in to fix the problem before it gets worse.”

Fate, as it turns out, really does work in our favour sometimes. 

“I was wondering if you maybe...if you maybe wanted to come to see the estate tomorrow? I could pick ya up and drive us out there and you can see some of the gardens. If you want. Won’t be miffed if you’ve got better plans.”

It was a proposition that Dani definitely does not expect and it catches her a little off guard, but the chance of seeing Jamie in her element was impossible to refuse. Plus...after all of the rain she’d had to endure - a little fresh air and time spent in nature could only do her good. When it comes to other plans though...she had absolutely none. Her plan was to sit in her flat and read or sleep or fill the time with completely mindless tasks. A day with Jamie sounded much, much better. 

“I won’t be taking you away from your work?” she asks, needing to make sure that Jamie actually does want her there. 

“Nah, not in the slightest. It’ll be nice to have some company when I’m usually on my own.”

Dani’s eyes crinkle at the edges slightly and the corners of her mouth curl up. “Well, in that case, I’d love to come and see the estate.”

“I’ll give ya a tip though,” Jamie says, pointing down at Dani’s white shoes. “Maybe wear some boots if you’ve got ‘em. Those trainers won’t even last ten minutes out there before they’re rubbish.”

“What if I don’t have any boots?” Dani admits. 

Jamie laughs a little bit. “I’ve got spares, you can wear a pair of mine then.”

___________

When Jamie’s green truck rumbles to a stop in front of Dani’s apartment building, she’s standing outside with two takeaway cups in her hands. Jamie reaches across the inside of the truck and pops open the door for her and she climbs inside. 

“What’ve you got there?” she asks as Dani holds out one of the cups. 

“Before I went home last night, I asked Albert what you liked to drink so I went to the cafe and got you a cup of tea.”

It’s such a simple gesture but something that no one has done for her before. She accepts the drink and Dani grins. “You didn’t need to do that, Dani. Thank you.”

“I know I didn’t need to,“ Dani says. “But I wanted to.”

No, she didn’t need to get up a half-hour early to get dressed and get to the cafe before Jamie showed up. She didn’t need to climb up the stairs to Albert’s flat and interrupt his program to ask him very specifically what Jamie liked to drink and how she liked to drink it, which by the way was with just a little milk and half a teaspoon of sugar. No, she didn’t need to do any of that but the smile on Jamie’s face and the warmth in her eyes as she accepted the cup of tea is why she did. 

The drive out to the estate takes them about thirty minutes. Dani had assumed it would be farther out of town because a property that big almost seemed like it existed within its own world. They sip on their drinks and talk about the weather, the landscape, the town. It’s a surface level conversation but it’s enjoyable. When Jamie turns off the main road onto a long gravel drive lined with tall elm trees, Dani stared out the window - stunned by how beautiful their surroundings are.

“Welcome to my home away from home,” Jamie says. 

“Wow,” Dani says. “It’s incredible.”

They approach a large manor home and Jamie follows a laneway that curves around towards the back of the building. She pulls up behind a servant's entrance and parks the vehicle. 

“Here we are,” she says. “Paradise.”

Jamie gets out of the car and walks behind to the truck bed and pulls out a pair of rubber boots then rounds the other side as Dani opens her door and gets out. 

“Wellies. For you. We look like we might be around the same size so they should fit,” Jamie says, holding the boots out to Dani. 

Dani accepts them and takes off one shoe and steps into a boot and then does the same with the other. “Thanks.”

Jamie puts her hands in her pockets and nods in another direction, motioning Dani to follow her. As they walk, Dani takes in the grandness of it all. There are stone statues and ornately trimmed hedges, perfectly symmetrical rows of flowers lining cobblestone walkways, and a fountain. It was almost hard to believe that the woman walking three steps ahead of her was responsible for maintaining nearly all of it. Albert had said one day that Jamie worked herself to the bone and Dani was seeing first hand just how true that must really be. 

“This place is amazing,” she says. “How did you even come to find it?”

“Long story,” Jamie says as they round a corner and end up in front of the greenhouse. 

“We have time, don’t we?”

They walk into the greenhouse and Dani feels like she steps into another universe. There are lush and colourful plants of all sizes covering every surface, tall potted plants tucked away into corners, and hanging vines floating above their heads. 

_This is Jamie_ , Dani thinks. _This is her private world and I’ve been invited to join her in it._

“Sorry, the place is in shambles. I’ve been running around like mad lately trying to take care of so many things.”

“Did you grow all of these?” Dani asks. She brushes her fingers through one of the illustrious ferns and is instantly taken back to their first conversation. 

“Sure did,” Jamie replies. “They’re always a work in progress though and soon most of them will be planted out in the grounds somewhere. It’s brilliant in here though, I love it.”

And Dani could feel that. Jamie seemed relaxed, content. Completely in her element. “It’s amazing.”

“Feel free to take a seat, I’ve just got to move a coupla plants around into bigger pots if you don’t mind,” Jamie says and Dani sees a bench a few feet away. 

“Oh, not at all. Do whatever you need to. This is your job.”

Jamie smiles and takes her jacket off. As she walks across the greenhouse towards a hook where an apron is hanging, Dani spots the bandage on her arm and jumps up. She rushes over to her and without even thinking, reaches her hands out and touches the white fabric wrapped around her forearm. 

“Jamie! What on earth happened?” 

“Oh...uh…” Jamie is a little startled by the speed in which it all happens and drops her gaze to Dani’s hands on her arm. She can feel her cold fingertips brush against her bare skin and then swipe across the bandage. Dani is standing so close with genuine concern etched across her face and Jamie gets lost in the closeness for a moment, completely forgetting how to speak. When Dani looks up at her, she snaps back to reality. “Got into a scrap with a thorn bush.”

“Are you okay? Did you need stitches?” 

“I’m okay. Can’t say the same about the thorn bush though...pulled the bloody thing right out of the ground by its roots an hour later.”

“How often do you get cuts like this?”

Jamie shrugs. “I get scraped up all the time. It’s in the job description.”

Dani softly rubs the bandage with her middle finger and subconsciously takes another small step towards Jamie. 

“I wish you’d be more careful,” she says quietly. There’s a tenderness in her voice and Jamie’s lips part slightly as though she’s going to respond but she loses the ability to speak again because Dani literally takes her breath away. Dani notices how little distance there now is between them and she can smell Jamie again like she had been able to the night they had dinner. She coughs a little, drops her hands, and steps back. “Because...because you uh, you don’t want to end up with scars. “

She hadn’t meant to rush over to Jamie and put her hands on her arm but her body just had a mind of its own and within seconds of noticing the bandage, she was up and crossing the room. It didn’t matter that she felt a million different things for Jamie and it didn’t matter that she was doing her very best to keep all of those feelings to herself because Jamie was hurt and Dani did not like seeing Jamie hurt. 

“Right,” Jamie manages to finally reply. “Scars. I’ll make sure to keep my distance from thorn bushes in the future.”

Dani takes a deep breath and half-smiles. “Okay. Good.” She returns to her seat on the bench and Jamie gets the apron and puts it on. There’s a comfortable and easy silence between them for a few minutes while she starts to sink into her work. Dani observes Jamie as she focuses on the act of lifting a plant delicately by its roots and placing it into a new soil-filled planter. When Jamie brings her hand up to brush some hair from her eyes, she smudges a little dirt across her forehead, and for some reason that she doesn’t understand, Dani thinks it’s one of the most attractive things she’s ever seen. 

“So…” she says, breaking the silence. “What was that long story you were going to tell me.”

Jamie lifts her head and looks in Dani’s direction. “Ah, didn’t forget about that did ya?”

“Nope.”

Jamie narrows her eyes and then returns to her plants. She doesn’t look back at Dani as she begins to speak. 

“Turned up in this place a few years ago, you already know that. But the story of how I turned up here is a bit messy, usually a story I keep to myself to be fair.”

“You don’t have to tell me your story if you don’t want to,” Dani says. “Not if it makes you uncomfortable or if you’re not ready to tell it.”

The concern is there in Dani’s voice again. Her careful consideration of Jamie’s feelings. _That’s the thing though_ , Jamie thinks. She finds the courage to lift her gaze to Dani again. _I want to tell you everything and I’ve never wanted to tell another soul until you_.

“It’s just not that interesting is all,” Jamie replies. She refocuses on the soil in her hands and considers her words and how she wants to approach her sloppy origin story. “Come from a broken home. Not the happiest childhood, Mum and Dad weren’t really around a whole lot. Never wanted kids. Had ‘em by accident, or at least I was an accident. Had to learn to take care of myself pretty early on and that’s a tough thing to do when you’re a kid. It’s confusing because you don’t really understand why. But I learned pretty quickly that to get by, I could only rely on myself. When I turned sixteen, I hopped on a bus and got as far away from that fuckin’ place as I could and never looked back. Felt okay doing that because I knew that no one would miss me when I was gone if I was never wanted in the first place.”

Dani’s heart breaks as she listens. She had always thought her own childhood had been hard. Single mom, not a lot of friends, repressed sexuality, she had felt incredibly lonely. But she had people in her life and she couldn’t deny that. There were people that cared about her and loved her. Jamie couldn’t say the same and that was an incredibly hard pill for Dani to swallow. 

“Sort of stumbled into working with plants to be honest. Bummed around for a handful of years doing whatever I needed to to get by, at one point I lived on the streets for a few months and saw an ad that said someone was looking for some help with the upkeep of their property. Not much, cutting the back garden and trimming the trees. I had no clue what I was doing at first but they took a chance, gave me someplace to live. Her name was Olive and she was pretty old when I met her. I worked for her for a couple of years and then she unexpectedly passed, her family sold her council house and I was out on my own again. Took a leap of faith and caught one of the first trains leading to pretty much anywhere. When I walked into town, Albert’s book shop was one of the first places I noticed and even though he had no idea who I was, didn’t need to help me or give me any charity because I wasn’t even asking for it, he did. He just knew somehow that I needed someone because he needed someone too. His son had died the year before and that was the only family he had. We sort of became each other's family after that.”

“Jamie…” Dani says, her voice barely above a whisper. She thinks back to one of her early conversations with Albert, how he said he didn’t have any family, how his voice wavered as he spoke. 

Jamie looks up from her plants again and her eyes lock onto Dani’s. Her gaze isn’t hard, but it's strong and it’s clear that she’s doing her very best to be brave. “Albert asked around to see if anyone needed a hand with some plants or needed physical labour, if anyone would take pity on a lass from nowhere and I’ve been here in this quiet little place for three years now. It’s nice and it’s good work and I feel like I’ve got a purpose, you know? And plants make great company. You get to watch them grow and know that you’re the reason why they’re still living.”

Dani stands and approaches Jamie’s workstation. She isn’t sure what she wants to say but she knows she needs to say something. 

“So that’s me,” Jamie says with a bit of a laugh. She shrugs and turns back to her plants. 

“My turn then.”

For the rest of the morning and into the afternoon, Dani and Jamie go back and forth talking about their lives as they move from inside the greenhouse to out on the grounds. Dani tells Jamie about her mother and about Edmund, the boy who had been her best friend for much of her life, and then he was the boy who became everything else because it just seemed like the natural thing to do. She tells Jamie about how she always knew she was different, how she felt it at a young age but was so afraid of how big those feelings were. She tells Jamie about Edmund’s reaction to her breaking off their engagement and what her mother had said to her when she confessed that she was catching a plane to England the next day. There was no hesitation in her voice as she spoke, no worry of rejection because now they really and truly had become friends and Dani had never felt more comfortable with another soul in her entire life. She didn’t overthink her sentences as she spoke and never doubted herself as she’d lean into Jamie while they worked because it all just felt so damn right and she didn’t want to fight that feeling anymore. She had spent her whole life fighting her own feelings and she was so fucking tired of it. 

“Edmund sounds like he was a good man,” Jamie says as she and Dani walk back towards the greenhouse after their time spent messing about in the dirt comes to an end. Their time together had been productive, having planted flowers and pulled weeds while their conversation drew on. Dani was eager to help and very willing to get her hands dirty.

Dani smiles as she thinks about him again. “He is a good man, and I know he’s going to make someone so happy one day and she’ll be perfect for him. The one he’s meant to be with. That person just couldn’t be me and it was hard for him to hear, but he’ll have moved on with his life by now.”

“We all deserve to find that person,” Jamie replies and Dani smiles at her. It’s an infectious and dazzling smile and it spreads across Jamie’s own face in response. 

“You’re right,” Dani says. “We do.”

They drive back into town in relative silence but it’s a pleasant silence. It’s a silence that exists between two people who are so content within each other’s presence that there isn’t a need to fill the quiet with noise. It’s simple. Easy. **Perfect**.

Both of them had felt a shift in their relationship, whatever their relationship was, and they had grown so much closer over the course of one day and when Jamie’s truck pulls up in front of Dani’s apartment building, she turns off the ignition and they sit together in the peaceful quiet, neither wanting their time together to come to an end. 

“Thanks for today,” Dani says. Her voice softly breaks through the silence and Jamie looks at her. “It was amazing to get to play a little part in all of the work you do. You should be incredibly proud of yourself, Jamie. What you’ve done with that place is pretty magical.”

“It was really nice having you there. Thank you for all the help,” Jamie replies. 

“Maybe you can come and help me in the bookstore one day if you've got time, even to come in just for the company so it isn’t just me talking to myself all day when there aren’t any customers around.”

Jamie laughs and the sound settles itself in Dani’s chest. “I’d be chuffed to join you in the shop one day.”

"Well...I should go and let you go home and get cleaned up,” Dani says and looks over all of their clothing. “I should clean myself up too.”

“Right, yeah, of course.”

“Have a good night, Jamie,” Dani says with one last smile then opens the door and jumps out of the truck. She walks up to the front door of her building and looks back over her shoulder and waves. 

When Dani unlocks the door to her flat, she steps inside and closes it then falls back against it. Her heart pounds in her chest and she feels like she needs a very, very strong drink. But she can’t go to the pub because Jamie lives above the pub and she hasn’t picked up anything else to drink since finishing the wine with Jamie. _This is all too much_ , she thinks. _How can I feel this way about someone I’ve only known for a few weeks? What do I do? Is she even real? _.__

__Suddenly there’s a knock on her door and her head snaps up. She takes a step back and slowly opens the door to find the very last person she expects to see standing in the hallway._ _

__“Jamie...what are you…”_ _

__Jamie is staring at her feet and running a hand through her hair but she bites her lip then looks up.__

____

____

__“I forgot something.”_ _

__Dani is confused at first but then Jamie steps towards her and slips her hand around the nape of her neck. She pulls Dani’s body into her own and kisses her with a passion that neither of them has ever known. It’s everything a kiss should be and so much more. Dani slides her arms around Jamie’s waist and they both fall into each other completely. Jamie's hand wanders up into Dani’s hair and she pulls her impossibly closer, needing to feel as much as her as she can. Their kiss is desperate and vulnerable, hungry and beautiful, and it sets their bodies ablaze the most consuming way._ _

__When the need to catch their breath becomes too strong, Jamie pulls back and opens her eyes. Her chest is heaving and her skin feels like it’s on fire but Dani is standing in front of her and she’s practically glowing. She had done it, Jamie had kissed her. She had done the one thing that neither of them could stop imagining and anticipating and it was everything she hoped it would be. Dani’s lips are slightly red and swollen and her cheeks are flushed but when her eyes flutter open she smiles and it’s radiant._ _

__“That’s what I forgot,” Jamie whispers, and then Dani is kissing her again, gripping her waist and pulling her inside._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: How do you all feel about the chapter lengths? Too long/too short? Perfectly in-between? I'd love it if you can let a gal know what your thoughts are!


	5. Being Alive is The Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello you lovely people! The reaction to the last chapter was amazing and I want to thank everyone for reading and thank all those who left me such wonderful comments. This new chapter is the longest one yet and I really like it so I hope you do too! Enjoy, and as always, I would love to know what you think! We can all shout about our Dani and Jamie feelings together in the comments! x

Kissing Jamie is... _wow_. That’s really the only word Dani can use to describe it because it’s unlike anything she’s ever felt. When their lips had met for the first time in the doorway of her flat, it had taken her breath away and the feeling of Jamie’s strong, warm body pressed so tightly against hers was extraordinary. It is extraordinary because that body is still pressed against Dani’s, but now they’re within the privacy of her own space. 

Jamie's fingers graze the patch of skin between Dani’s sweater and her trousers and she hums into her mouth at the feeling. Delicious. All of it. Every kiss, every touch, every soft and nervous moan. 

Dani is practically clinging to Jamie as she slips a tongue into her mouth and backs her up against the door she had been leaning against by herself only minutes ago. Dani had never kissed a woman before but she knows now, she feels it, what it’s like to kiss someone you achingly want to kiss. To kiss someone you dream of kissing. To kiss someone...meant for you? Kissing Edmund was always awkward, emotionless...flat. Kissing Jamie is like riding a wave and feeling the ebb and flow of the water as you skim across the surface. Kissing Jamie is like coming up for air when you haven’t been able to breathe. 

“Christ, Dani,” Jamie mumbles against Dani’s lips.

The sound of Jamie’s voice is enough to give Dani a burst of confidence and she spins them and walks Jamie back towards her couch and pushes her down onto it, settling in her lap. It is without a doubt the most brazen thing she’s ever done. She kisses Jamie again and it’s all tongue and teeth, hot and messy and Dani is tangling her fingers in brown locks and it’s all happening so fast. 

“Can we…” Jamie says in between kisses. “Dani, s-slow down, maybe we just -“. 

Dani wants to be good at it all and she wants to make Jamie feel good. She wants it to seem like everything that’s happening isn’t entirely unfamiliar to her so she continues to kiss Jamie until there’s a hand gently pushing against her chest.

“Dani...slow...we don’t -“

Finally, Jamie’s words register, and Dani forces herself to pull away, to put some distance between them.

“You don’t like it?” Dani whispers. Suddenly she feels incredibly self-conscious and brings a hand up to her own lips. Jamie doesn’t respond and just looks at her with wide eyes and it’s enough for Dani to second guess her bold choices. Her heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of her chest but not for the right reasons anymore. Now she’s nervous that Jamie will regret it all right then and there because of her foolish inability to control her desire. 

“I’m sorry...I got...I got carried away. I didn’t mean...oh god, I’m sorry.”

She fumbles her way off of Jamie’s lap and the couch and once she’s standing, she crosses her arms and looks at the floor. She can’t bring herself to make eye contact with Jamie. She feels far too embarrassed for that now. “I’m sorry,” she says once more. 

It did all happen so fast. And it wasn’t a bad thing but Jamie wanted their time to last. She didn’t want it all to happen in the blink of an eye, the flash of one moment, because they deserved so much more than that. She stands and takes a small step towards Dani.

“Dani.”

Dani won’t look up and meet her gaze and Jamie needs her to know that it’s okay. Needs her to know that she didn’t do anything Jamie didn’t want her to do, that what was happening was incredible but it didn’t need to be rushed, that she would never grow tired of Dani kissing her like that and they had time. 

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea.”

Timid eyes glance up now and they meet a tenderness they have never known. The soft gaze and gentle smile on Jamie’s face compels Dani to let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and Jamie reaches out and uncrosses her arms, taking her hands in her own. 

“You quoted Shakespeare at me again,” Dani quietly says. 

“I did,” Jamie replies. “Thought it might get you to look at me.”

“It worked.”

Jamie smiles and takes a step forward, closing the short distance between them. “I did like it...you in my lap like that. I do like it. Sort of embarrassed by how much actually...but we don’t need to rush into anything. I could kiss you...forever I think, but I realize that this is maybe all new for you, being with…”

“A woman?” 

Jamie laughs a little bit and strokes Dani’s knuckles with her thumb. “I want you to be comfortable. I don’t want you to feel that you have to do something you’re not ready for.”

“I’m sorry,” Dani says. 

“And you,” Jamie says, lifting a hand to Dani’s cheek, “need to stop apologizing.” She brushes some hair behind her ear and her lips curl up into a small, nervous smile.

“I like you,” Dani says. Her words come out shaky and she almost feels as if she’s left her own body as she says them. It’s just three words. Three little words that have been simmering inside of her for weeks now, but they are finally out in the open. _No more running from your feelings_ , she tells herself. _She is right here standing in front of you. Let yourself be happy. We all deserve to be happy._

Jamie smiles and it’s bright enough to light the entire room. “I like you too.”

This time it’s Dani who makes the first move and she leans into Jamie and delicately kisses her. It’s soft. Featherlight, really. She lets a hand drop to Jamie’s waist, the other still holding Jamie’s, and they melt a little one into one another. They’ve had their passion-filled, heat of the moment (fucking incredible, both would admit) first kiss but this is different. This kiss says _I’m here, I’m a little afraid, but I want you if you’ll have me._

When Dani pulls away, Jamie’s lips are parted and she blinks open her eyes. “Wow,” she whispers. 

It’s all so much and Dani lets go of Jamie’s hand then slides her arms around her, hugging her close. She lets her head drop into space between Jamie’s neck and shoulder and inhales deeply. 

“You smell good,” she whispers.

“Even after spendin’ the day outside in the dirt?” Jamie asks. She starts stroking Dani’s back and she feels Dani nod against her. They stand like that wrapped up in each other's arms for a couple of minutes and neither says a word. The weeks of yearning and want and desire had left them both craving physical touch and comfort and that’s exactly what this is. 

“Jamie,” Dani says, pulling back slightly from the warmth she’s found in Jamie’s arms. “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

Dani lifts her hand up and rubs a thumb across Jamie’s forehead. “You’ve had dirt up here since we were in the greenhouse.”

“Bloody hell,” Jamie replies and brings one of her own fingers to her lips and licks it then starts to rub at her forehead above her eyebrow. “You’re tellin’ me I talked myself into comin' up here to kiss you, trying to be all cool and take charge but the whole time I had dirt on my face? Nice one, mate.” 

“Will you go on a date with me?” 

The worlds tumble from Dani’s lips before she even realizes what she's asking but Jamie’s eyes snap back to her and she knows it was the right question to ask. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” Jamie replies with a soft grin. She searches Dani’s eyes for any hesitation, for any sliver of regret, but finds none and her eyes dip down to Dani’s lips. So kissable and impossible to ignore. “Can I kiss you again?”

Dani smiles and answers Jamie’s question by licking her lips and stepping closer to her. Jamie reaches her hands out and places them on Dani’s hips again and takes a short breath then presses her lips to Dani’s. Their bodies seem to fit together so perfectly and the feeling of Dani’s lips and body against her own was enough to...well, enough to make her feel a lot of other things that she definitely could not admit yet. She would keep those things to herself for now.

 _I could kiss you forever_ , she had said to Dani only a minute ago, and god, how she had meant it.

___________

It’s a gloomy and grey day in their little small town but that doesn’t stop Dani from walking into the bookstore with a pep in her step. Her night with Jamie had come to an end with a deep kiss against her kitchen counter before she walked Jamie to the door and said goodnight, for the second time that evening. Watching Jamie walk down the hallway that night had felt so different from the way it did after their dinner together and it left Dani feeling so hopeful for what was to come. She had surprised herself by asking Jamie out on a date and had realized while laying in bed, the taste of Jamie’s lips still on her own, that she had absolutely no idea what to do for their date or where to take Jamie. She had no car, no real knowledge of the local surroundings, and had never in her life been on a date with a woman. Or anyone that she really, really liked. 

“Morning’ love,” Albert says as Dani walks into the storage room behind the stairs to hang up her jacket and bag. He’s filling a kettle to make tea with water from a small sink in the corner of the room. “Fancy a cup?”

“I’d love one, thank you,” Dani replies. The bell above the door rings and Dani pokes her head out of the storage room to see a man and a little girl looking over the display of Shakespeare books by the window. “Duty calls,” she says cheerfully to Albert. 

She leaves the storage room and walks towards the customers near the front of the store with a warm smile on her face. “Hi there, anything I can help you with?”

“Ah, good morning. This little one here is looking for a book about horses, wonderin’ if you might be able to help us out?”

Dani kneels in front of the little girl. “You like horses, hmm?” The little girl is hiding partway behind the man’s legs and she nods her head. “Well, we have a few books that I think you’re going to really love.”

Later that morning Dani is back behind the counter with the phone up to her ear as Albert helps a woman look for a book in the mystery novels section. Terrible hold music plays loudly in her ear as she taps a pen against the counter. She’s doing her best to stay focused on the task at hand, trying to get in contact with the local author’s literary agent, but images of Jamie streak across her mind. The way she gripped her hips as they kissed against the door, the soft moans that escaped her lips as she was pushed down onto the couch, the way it felt to let hands wander up into curly brown locks. Those same images had no so innocently occupied Dani’s mind in the shower that morning but now, only just feet away from the man who had given her a job, she has to shake them from her thoughts and when she suddenly hears a voice in her ear instead of music, it helps make that challenge much easier. 

“Ms. Clayton?” The voice asks. 

“Hi, yes, yes, that’s me. Thank you so much for taking my call.”

“No problem at all. So you’re interested in booking one of our clients to do a reading of their new novel at your bookstore?”

“Yes,” Dani replies. “A reading and a book signing. Our shop is actually located in their hometown and there has been a lot of buzz lately surrounding the novel and we think there’s a good opportunity here for some book sales and even more publicity. It feels like a real local success story to us and we’re hoping the author feels the same way.”

“Absolutely,” the voice in Dani’s ear replies. “Now there is a book tour already in the works and what we can do is speak with the author and get their thoughts about the opportunity and then once we’ve spoken, we can touch base again and go from there.”

Dani grins with excitement and gets up off the stool and does a little silent dance. “That’s great. That’s perfect. Looking forward to chatting again, thank you!”

She hangs up the phone and Albert glances in her direction. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes and Dani gives him a big thumbs up. She writes down some more notes on the pad by the phone and another customer walks into the shop. 

The business had been great and Albert wasn’t sure if everyone in town suddenly decided to become avid readers or if the smiling face and sunny personality of his new and very American assistant were making people repeat customers. It was certainly bringing Jamie back because that afternoon after Albert had retreated up to his flat for the rest of day, Jamie strolls into the book shop with her hands in the pockets of a dark brown jacket worn over top of blue overalls. 

Dani is so incredibly focused on the organization of boxes filled with old books that need to be catalogued and added to the store inventory that she doesn’t hear the bell above the door ring or the sound of footsteps approaching from behind.

“Oy, what’s all this then?”

The sound of Jamie’s voice startles her and she loses her grip on a stack of books in her arms causing them to fall to the hardwood floor and land with a thud. She spins around and places a hand over her heart and shakes her head. 

“You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Jamie sheepishly smiles. “Sorry, really didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You know...you keep showing up like this and people might think you’re here for more than just the books,” Dani says, dropping her hand. 

“I like coming into this shop,” Jamie replies and shrugs. “It’s nice when the pretty American always recommends books for me to read.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“I think you’re beautiful.”

Dani looks away shyly as a blush spreads across the bridge of her nose and then carries on across her cheeks, giving her skin a soft rosy hue. She feels a bit like a teenager when they have their first real crush and she’s slightly embarrassed by how much the compliment affects her. 

“So…” Jamie says, shuffling back and forth on her feet a little bit awkwardly. “Didn’t really come in here today for the books.”

“I know,” Dani says, lifting her gaze to meet Jamie’s. “But I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely. I actually wanted to update you about our uh...our date.”

Sure, their hands might have been all over each other the night before but the nerves were still there and Dani was doing her absolute best to present herself as cool, calm, and collected. 

“Is that right?” Jamie takes a step forward. 

“Do you work on Saturday?”

Jamie shakes her head. “Totally free actually.”

“Pick me up at 10 then,” Dani replies. She says it with confidence and conviction and Jamie looks at her with a curious expression. 

“You plannin’ to let me in on what it is we’re doing?”

Dani shakes her head and half-smiles. “It’s a surprise.”

Jamie looks around the shop, trying to see if there are any customers tucked away behind shelves or hiding in between stacks and she’s thrilled to find the shop totally empty except for the two of them. “Albert turned in for the day?”

“About an hour ago. Said there was a re-run of one of his favourite shows on and he just couldn’t miss it.”

“Good.” Jamie boldly reaches for Dani’s hand and drags her towards the back of the shop behind a bookshelf and out of sight, should anyone glance through the window. She backs Dani up against the shelf and steps in close to her, close enough to feel warm breath against her own skin. She looks into Dani’s sparkling blue eyes, blue as the ocean, and she knows that she could very easily drown in them. 

“Jamie,” Dani sighs. 

“Is this alright?” Jamie asks, wanting to make sure that Dani feels comfortable and safe. **Needing** to make sure. Dani nods and a smile spreads across Jamie’s face. 

Dani has daydreamed about this. This moment has played through her mind more than once in very vivid detail but now it wasn’t only a daydream because Jamie has her pressed up against the paperback romance novels and it feels as if they’re living between the pages of one. 

“You really are beautiful,” Jamie says. She brushes aside some loose blonde hair that has slipped out of Dani’s braid and cups her cheek. 

Jamie wants to kiss her. She’s going to kiss her. She’s been thinking about kissing her since leaving her the night before but living in the anticipation for a little while longer, staying in the _just_ before moment when breathing is hitched, when pulses start to race, throats get dry, and lips part as tension builds - living in that is almost as good as a kiss. 

Almost.

“So are you,” Dani replies, her voice just above a whisper. 

The way they come together is effortless. Dani ducks her head towards Jamie and when their lips touch, it’s delicate. And then it’s less delicate. Soft lips moving against soft lips, Jamie’s hands slipping under the hem of Dani’s shirt, Dani’s trailing up her back and tugging her closer. They know they’re not in a private place but it’s nearly impossible to ignore the growing heat between them. It’s addictive.

When Jamie slips a thigh between Dani’s legs though, she starts to feel a slight ache of tension lower in her body and it’s so good but a little too much for her too quickly. She wants to feel more of that with Jamie, a little desperate for it even, but she knows she doesn’t want them to take their relationship, though very much undefined, any further between the dusty shelves below Albert’s flat. The book shop might be romantic with all of its classic literature and beautiful greenery scattered about the space, but she isn’t ready to let herself take that next step when someone could walk in on them at any moment and she isn't ready for more before they’ve even been on their first date. 

She pulls her lips from Jamie’s and slides a hand up to her neck, letting her fingers splay against her collarbone. “We should stop.”

“We should,” Jamie replies as she kisses along Dani’s jawline then nuzzles her nose against hers. “You’re right.”

She rests her forehead against Dani’s and smiles then slips her hands off of her body and takes a step back, needing to put space between them or risk losing herself in the blonde again. 

Jamie clears her throat and lets out a breath then puts her hands back into her pockets. “Guess I should be lettin’ ya get back to work, don’t want the star employee to lose her job because I’ve been messin’ about in the shop.”

“It was nice to see you today,” Dani says with a smile. 

“Saturday,” Jamie says. “10 am. I’ll be outside your flat.”

“Saturday.”

Jamie smirks and then turns on her heels and heads towards the book shop entrance. Dani can hear the bell ring when the door opens and closes and she bites her lip and closes her eyes, letting her head fall back against one of the shelves.

___________

It might not be the fanciest of first dates but Dani was very proud of what she was able to pull together. A trip to the local charity shop had resulted in her finding a large picnic basket and an old worn quilt and a trip to the market is why her newfound picnic basket is filled with cheeses, meats, pieces of bread and jams, and a bottle of wine. She’s sure that Jamie will appreciate the simplicity of it all, especially once she finds out where she’s driving them. Or at least she really hopes so. 

Mother Nature as it turns out is also proud of Dani’s plan because as she stands outside of her flat with the quilt in her arms and picnic basket at her feet, the clouds above her begin to clear and the sun pokes through just as Jamie’s green truck rounds a corner and slows to a stop. She smiles at Dani then hops out of the truck, walks around to the passenger side, and opens the door. Dani approaches the truck and right away she notices Jamie’s pulled back hair, how good her flannel shirt looks tucked in at the waist of her dark denim, and the faintest hint of colour on her lips that’s never been there before.

It’s easy to notice a change in someone when you’ve spent weeks admiring them and Jamie looks more put together this morning than Dani has ever seen her. _Did she get all dressed up for me?_ Dani wonders. 

Dani on the other hand still didn’t have a whole lot to choose from when it came to her clothes and she’s wearing a pair of high-waisted denim with a thin lavender sweater. She’s opted to keep her hair down because part of her hopes that at some point during the day, Jamie might kiss her and slide her fingers up into her blonde locks and she’s not ashamed of admitting it to herself.

“You look very nice,” Jamie says. 

“Thank you, so do you,” Dani replies. 

“A picnic basket, hmm? Now you’ve really made me curious,” Jamie says as her eyes fall on what Dani is holding. 

“The sooner we get on our way…” Dani says and winks, “the sooner you’ll know what it’s for.”

Jamie takes the basket and the blanket from Dani and puts them in the back of the truck then closes the passenger door once she’s climbed into the truck. She gets into her own seat and settles behind the wheel and looks to Dani. 

“Where to miss?”

When the green truck rolls along a gravel path towards the small stone church, Jamie can’t help but smile at the fact that Dani’s plan had been for them to go somewhere totally private. Totally peaceful. Somewhere quiet. A place where they can be completely on their own. 

They get out of the truck and Dani grabs the basket and the quilt from the back and leads Jamie around the church towards the river. Spring sun breaks through a canopy of trees and shines down on them as they make it to the edge of the water. Dani finds a flat spot on the ground beside the water and sets the picnic basket down then spreads the quilt out across a bed of grass with small wildflowers poking up between the blades. Jamie stands off to the side watching and then Dani sits down on the quilt and looks up at her with a look of expectation on her face, a silent question. _Is this okay? Did I do a good job?_

“Dani, this is perfect,” Jamie says. She sits down on the quilt and crosses her legs and takes in their surroundings. It had turned into one of the loveliest days they’ve had in quite some time which made it all the more perfect. 

Dani smiles and opens the picnic basket and starts to remove its contents, placing them on the blanket beside her one by one. “Since I didn’t know what you’d like...I got a few different things and if you hate all of it, please tell me.”

“Looks brilliant to me, I’m easy to please,” Jamie replies.

“Is that so?” Dani looks at her with a slightly mischievous grin and then shrugs. “So am I.”

Jamie opens the bottle of wine and pours some into a paper cup for both of them. They start to dig into the spread Dani’s prepared and dive into easy conversation about work, books, their favourite foods, favourite films - every topic that two people discuss when they’re really trying to get to know one another but none of it feels like small talk. It’s deep and honest and they both recognize that it’s been a very long time since they’ve been so open with another person. Suddenly it feels as if a weight has been lifted off of their shoulders like they’re able to take a long, deep breath and let it all out with ease. 

“You don’t have a favourite movie?” Dani asks when Jamie says she’s never been one for films. 

“Can’t even remember the last time I went to the cinema to be fair.”

“How do you not have a favourite movie?”

Jamie laughs at how surprised Dani is to learn this fact about her. “Don’t even have a TV in my flat,” she says then pops a piece of cheese into her mouth and takes a sip from her paper cup.

“Have you ever even seen a movie?” Dani asks, shaking her head in disbelief and it makes Jamie scoff.

“Course I’ve seen a bloody movie, it’s just been ages is all.”

“We’ll need to change that then. I don’t have a TV either but...we’ll have to hi-jack Albert’s for a night and watch something.”

“Hah, you’re havin’ a laugh if ya think that old bloke will let you take over any of his precious telly time.”

They finish their food and their wine and make more jokes and tell more stories and then the mood shifts and the simple pleasantries passed between people during a meal subside and Jamie lean’s back on her elbows with her legs stretched out in front of her, eyes fixed on the sight of the blooming tree’s overhead. “You know,” she says as she soaks up the feeling of the wind blowing through her hair. “I’ve never brought anyone else out here before.”

Dani is absentmindedly picking at some grass beside the quilt and she looks around them and smiles. It’s quiet and the sound of the breeze blowing through the trees and the calming rhythm of the river flowing makes it all feel like something out of a storybook. “Guess I’m special then,” she says.

Jamie lowers her gaze and nods. “You really are.”

“So, have you started reading The Secret Garden yet?”

“Picked it up on the estate the other day and only meant to read a chapter or so…” Jamie sits up and crosses her legs again. “But I’ve nearly finished it. Don’t go tellin’ the boss that I’ve been reading on the job though.”

“Why not? I read on the job all the time,” Dani says. They both laugh and Jamie tears out some grass and tosses it at Dani. 

“Cheeky.”

Dani lays back completely on the blanket and lets her hands fall beside her as she stares up at the trees. There are gaps between all of the branches as they’ve not all filled out with leaves yet and she can see patches of clouds float across a blue sky. There’s a slight chill in the air because of the breeze but it’s not cold and she can feel the warmth from the sun on her body as it scatters throughout the trees. She is so far from the place she once called home, but the sky she is looking at is the same one she’s looked up at a million times in her life and there’s comfort in knowing that. There’s comfort in realizing that where she is now is starting to truly feel more and more like her home, and the woman sitting two feet away from her has a lot to do with it. 

“Everything is made out of magic, leaves and trees, flowers and birds, badgers and foxes and squirrels and people. So it must be all around us,” she says. 

Jamie scoots across the blanket and lays down beside her. “That’s from the book,” she quietly replies as she fixes her eyes on the treetops above them once again. 

Dani can feel Jamie’s body beside hers, she’s itching to slide her hand across the blanket between them, itching to let her fingers graze Jamie’s hand. “It is,” she replies. “When I was a kid my mom would always call me a dreamer, would tell me I got too wrapped up in made-up stories and fantasy worlds and it meant I wouldn’t have a good grip on the real world. I didn’t want to disappear into the real world the same way she did after my parents got divorced. Dad left and she was still around but we weren’t close. So, I would read. I can remember so clearly the first time I read The Secret Garden because I had never wanted to disappear into a world as much as the one in that book.”

A bird chirps and Dani smiles at the sound. She closes her eyes and takes a long breath, reveling in the feeling of the fresh air as it fills her lungs “This place might not be a secret, but it makes me feel a bit like that book did and nothing has made me feel that way in a very long time.”

Jamie does what they both are aching to do and she skims her hand across the surface of the quilt until her fingers touch Dani’s and when they do, they both feel sparks. She entwines their fingers and Dani opens her eyes and turns her head to the side, meeting her gentle gaze. The sun peeks through a section of branches right above them and it falls right across Jamie’s face, lighting up her eyes in the most dazzling way. 

“That is the magic,” Dani says, quoting the book again. “Being alive is the magic - being strong is the magic. The magic is in me.”

“Dani…” Jamie says. Her voice is so quiet and it almost gets lost within the sound of the river but she is so close and Dani could almost feel her name fall from the pair of lips more than she could hear it. She pulls herself up and slides in even closer against Dani, adjusting her position so she can lean over her slightly. “Where the hell did you even come from? You just turned up in this lonely place out of nowhere and made everything better.”

“Is it still lonely here?” 

Jamie shakes her head. She brings a hand to Dani’s face and softly brushes her thumb across her cheek and Dani closes her eyes, allowing herself to really sink into the subtle contact. Jamie dips her head down and stops when their lips are barely touching. “Not even a little bit,” she says against Dani’s lips and kisses her. Dani hums into the kiss and slides her hands up around Jamie’s back, pulling her down so their bodies are even closer. 

When she swipes her tongue across Jamie’s bottom lip, Jamie doesn’t need to think twice before deepening the kiss and her hand moves from Dani’s cheek up into her hair. The whole thing really does feel like it’s been torn from the pages of a storybook and both women would be very content to just stay like that for the rest of their days.

___________

Their date had officially ended with a gentle kiss in Jamie’s truck and a slightly awkward goodbye, with neither woman really wanting the time to come to an end. Dani walks into her flat and drops the picnic basket and quilt on the floor by the door and heads straight for the washroom. She flicks on the light and looks in the mirror and pulls aside the collar of her sweater. She grins when she spots a red mark on her neck, courtesy of Jamie. They had stayed on the blanket by the river for another hour and Jamie had let her lips ghost across her jawline and then they had found a home just below her ear and down to her pulse point. She had never let Edmund kiss her that way because she never wanted to see the evidence of their relationship on her skin but she had no shame in letting Jamie kiss her and leave behind a reminder. In fact, said reminder makes her shiver when she thinks about how it got there.

Dani brings her fingers to her neck and touches and red mark then turns the light off and walks into her bedroom. She falls back against the bed as late afternoon sun streams in through her small window, casting shadows across the bed and the floor. She lays like that for quite some time, basking in the afterglow of a day spent with Jamie and she almost falls asleep.

When the sun dips below the horizon and her flat grows dark, she pulls herself up out of bed to make something to eat for dinner. Her mind is hazy with all things Jamie. She’s drunk on her and she wants to shout it from the rooftops. It was hard to be alone in her small home because now it feels as if there’s a Jamie sized piece missing from it. She craved her touch, her smell, her voice. All of it. She knows they’ve just spent an entire day together but an idea pops into Dani’s head and just after 9 pm she’s walking out of her apartment building with her own personal copy of The Secret Garden in hand. The pages are worn and the margins are filled with notes and scribbles, messages to herself during her younger years, all things she wants to share with Jamie.

The pub is crowded and loud when she steps inside but for a Saturday night, it isn’t an unusual sight. Dani scans the room for Jamie and when she doesn’t find her, she cuts across the room and weaves her way between tables and crowds of people standing in small groups and when she gets to a door beside the bar, the one she had watched Jamie walkthrough on her way up to her flat, she pushes it open and trudges up a steep staircase. She doesn’t know which flat belongs to Jamie but it wasn’t a big building and she shouldn’t be too hard to find. Dani can hear a pounding sound as she reaches the landing of the stairs and when she turns into a short hallway she spots a woman she doesn’t recognize knocking with force on one of the doors and she takes a step back.

She stays slightly out of sight within the stairwell and then it dawns on her who the woman is. She’s shocked that she’s forgotten considering the sight of the redhead clinging to Jamie, whining her name by the bar and whispering in her ear had stayed with her for days. Dani doesn’t want to watch whatever scene is about to unfold but she can’t will herself to turn around and leave just yet, needing to see for herself what exactly this woman is hoping to accomplish.

“Jamie...come on,” the woman says as she continues to knock. “I promise this’ll be the last time, yeah? I just really need you. I’ll be gutted if you leave me all to myself tonight. I promise it’ll be worth it for ya.”

The door opens and Jamie steps into the hallway and within seconds the woman has her arms around her and has her face nestled against Jamie’s neck. Dani’s heart feels like it falls out of her chest at the sight. _Maybe it’s nothing_ , she tries to tell herself. _She’s not your girlfriend, Dani. Don't jump to conclusions. But what if this whole time she’s been with someone else? Have I been fooling myself by thinking we were...more?_ She can’t fight those thoughts as they race through her mind and her eyes fill with tears and she loses her grip on the book in her hands. It slips through her fingers and falls to the ground with a sound that’s loud enough to travel down the hallway. Jamie glances up when she hears it and she spots a very familiar flash of blonde hair, _Dani_ , as she quickly reaches for the book then spins around and disappears down the stairs. 

Jamie pushes the other woman off of her and practically jumps away. “Fuck off,” she shouts. “I told you it was never going to happen again!” She rushes across the hallway and flies down the stairs then bolts through the crowded pub. When she stumbles through the door and spills out onto the street, all she sees is an empty dimly lit cobblestone road. 

It’s quiet and Dani is nowhere to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't hate me for how this chapter ends. stick with me. it’ll be worth it.


	6. The Most Beautiful Girl in The Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't plan on having this chapter finished quite so soon but I had a lot of time on my hands and was enjoying writing it too much, so here you go! 
> 
> This chapter is one of my favourites (it's also the longest so far) and it was so great to write. Thank you for the comments & kudos on the last chapter! 
> 
> Happy reading!

It’s not a long walk to Dani’s flat but it feels like it takes forever and Jamie really doesn’t know what to expect after she makes her way up the stairs and knocks on the door but she knows it’s a walk she has to take. She knows she can’t let Dani slip away into the night thinking she would fall into the arms of another woman at the end of one of the best days of her life. If she did, she’s sure that she would regret it for the rest of her life. 

And it really had been one of the best days of her life because of Dani. When Jamie closes her eyes, Dani is who she sees. When she can’t fall asleep at night, Dani is who she thinks of. When she wakes up in the morning, the first person she wants to talk to is Dani. It isn’t some random redhead that she had slept with a couple of times when she was drunk and alone, desperately needing to get off, a random redhead who couldn’t take a hint and walk away. A random redhead who had the worst fucking timing imaginable. 

_I should have asked her by the river,_ Jamie thinks as she walks alone along the stoned walkways and paths, edging closer and closer to Dani’s flat. _It’s what I want and I should have asked her. Be with me, please. Be mine and only mine. I don’t want anyone else, I just want you and I’ve never been more sure of anything._ But she hadn’t asked because it was still just only their first date. Still so fresh. Being with Dani that way was still so new and even though it’s what she craved, she was afraid to hold out her heart to another person. She was afraid even though every bone in her body was telling her that Dani would take such gentle care of it. 

Jamie wasn’t proud of a lot of the things she had done in her life but there was a time before Dani and a time after her and all that mattered anymore was the after. It’s a lonely walk up the stairs once she arrives at the building and when she gets to the door she lifts a hand to knock but hesitates. Dani had already given so much of herself to Jamie, so much trust, and all of that trust could be tossed right into the rubbish bin because of a moment she had no control over, and facing that fact was incredibly difficult, but she did have to face it. All she could do was explain to Dani what it was that she had seen, tell her who the woman was, and hope that she was as understanding as she seemed. 

A brave hand is raised and knuckles tap against the door three times. “Dani?”

This isn’t how she thought she’d find herself back at Dani’s door. She had hoped and imagined that it would be under more romantic circumstances, but Dani was worth fighting for. Dani was worth everything. Dani...isn’t answering the door and Jamie starts to panic slightly.

“Fuck,” she mumbles under her breath to herself. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

She rubs at her temples and then knocks again. It’s quiet and she holds her breath, hoping that at any moment the door will fly open and Dani’s kind eyes and warm smile will greet her and tell her that everything is okay, but the door doesn’t open. She takes a few steps away from it and when her back hits the wall in the hallway, she slides down it and brings her knees to her chest then drops her head. She stays like that for a few minutes, in the cold silence with only the sound of her breathing and heartbeat to keep her company. Just when she thinks she’s run out of hope, the sound of a door being unlocked echoes through the hall and then the door opens. She glances up and Dani is leaning against the doorframe looking beat and a little broken.

“Hi,” Jamie says. She quickly picks herself up off the floor and takes one step forward. “I wasn’t sure if you’d open it. The door.” 

“I almost didn’t,” Dani replies. 

“Dani...I -“

“I know I’m not the prettiest girl in the room and I’m not the most interesting. I know I’m American and a little strange even and so far from where I belong and I know that I’ve...well I’ve never done... this...until now, but was I wrong to think that there was something real between us?”

Jamie is desperate to reach out and take Dani’s hands in hers. She’s desperate to pull her close and tell her that she’s wrong. She’s always the prettiest and most interesting girl in the room, but she doesn’t because she knows that Dani needs to process things on her own before she can jump in and risk it all.

“No,” Jamie says. “You’re not wrong, Dani. There was - there IS something real between us.”

Dani’s resolve crumbles and she brings her arms up to her chest and crosses them, closing herself off. “Then why did I see the same woman throwing herself at you in your doorway that I saw two weeks ago at the pub? Why did I hear her pounding on your front door, begging you to let her in so she could...god, so she could sleep with you? Why did you even open the door?”

“Because I was a fucking mess before I met you, alright?” Jamie nearly shouts and she runs her fingers through her hair and closes her eyes. She takes a steadying breath to help calm herself and then blinks open her eyes and looks at Dani again. 

“I was a bloody disaster before you turned up,” she continues, her voice quieter now. “Christ, I obviously still am. But I was so damn lonely and at the time...I just needed someone, anyone, to make me forget just how lonely I really was. She was there and an easy shag and it happened more than once because I liked how it felt to be something for someone while it was happening but then I put an end to it. She didn’t want it to be the end and couldn’t leave well enough alone and that’s what you saw. I was going to tell her to bugger off once and for all, tell her she was wasting her time because I had someone. If you had stuck around, you would have watched me push her away. I didn’t want her, Dani. I don’t want her.” 

The words sink in. She can hear in Jamie’s voice just how honest she’s being, can hear how much turmoil she’s in. And she can feel that it’s true. A flood of emotions wash over her and she feels so foolish for letting herself jump to the worst possible conclusion. Was she really willing to ruin her own chance at happiness by assuming the worst of someone? Was it really that easy to not trust Jamie? Maybe those are all just the things your mind goes to in some twisted attempt to save yourself down the line. 

“What do you want?” Dani asks. 

Jamie swallows and takes another step towards her. Her breathing is slightly shaky and she reaches out to Dani, who uncrosses her arms and takes Jamie’s hand in hers.

“You,” Jamie replies. “I want you. And I wanted to ask you a question today...it just felt too soon and maybe it is but I don’t care anymore. Dani Clayton, will you be my girlfriend?” 

The corners of Dani’s mouth curl upwards and soon a wide grin spreads across her face. Her heart swells and Jamie's chest rises and falls in anticipation. Her face is so hopeful, with expectation and honesty in her eyes and Dani knows that it was a question asked with so much certainty and conviction but she needs to hear her confirm it. “You really mean it?”

Jamie takes another step towards her and now there’s nearly no space between them. “I mean it. I really, really mean it. And I’m sorry if what you saw tonight made you think I’d want things to be any different.”

“My heart kind of broke…” Dani admits, looking down at her feet. “And I felt like it didn’t have the right to break because we were just...well, I didn’t know what we were.”

“Do you know what we are now?”

She glances up again and Jamie is so close. So, so close. She can smell her and her eyes dip down to her lips and suddenly she feels nervous. Suddenly she feels as if they’re about to have their first kiss all over again and there are butterflies in her stomach. She flicks her eyes back up and Jamie smiles. “I do,” she replies. “And my answer to your first question is yes.”

“Yeah?” Jamie asks. Her smile is radiant and she brings her hands up and pushes some hair behind Dani’s ear. The world around them seems to slip away and Dani nods and it’s all Jamie needs to close her eyes and press her lips against Dani’s. It’s a kiss that says, _please don’t break my heart_ , and a kiss that says, _thank you for trusting me with it. I won’t. I promise._

___________

“Would you like me to wrap this for you?”

Dani is cashing out a happy customer at the book shop who had come in to find a book for their mother for her birthday. It had been easy to find, bottom shelf by the stairs, glowing like a beacon. One of two copies. Gift wrapping was never something Albert had done in the shop but one day over their morning cup of tea, Dani suggested that it might be a nice little touch, a simple thing that could entice people to become repeat customers. 

“It doesn’t take much to make people happy,” she had said. “I think customers would really appreciate us offering the service and it’s easy enough to wrap some books in brown paper with a pretty ribbon. I know I’d like it if I were buying a book.”

Albert had agreed, though still somewhat unsure about it all. He had operated his shop in a very certain manner for such a long time and Dani had come in with so many ideas and suggestions he was realizing more and more that all of her ideas and clever plans had actually been very beneficial to the business, and this new one would prove the same. 

Dani had insisted that she would take care of tracking down the paper and the ribbon and she had found some in a stationary shop not far from town and placed the order the same day. 

“Oh, that would be lovely,” the woman standing in front of her says. “Yes, please. I’d love for it to be wrapped.” 

“Red ribbon or blue?” 

“Blue, thank you.”

“This is an excellent book by the way. I hope your mother enjoys it.”

Five minutes later, the book is wrapped and Dani slides it across the counter for the woman to take. She smiles and the woman thanks her again then exits the shop, leaving her and Albert alone. 

“Have ya seen Jamie lately?” he asks as he carries a stack of books towards the window. “Said she was going to come by and fix my water faucet upstairs.”

_I saw her two days ago when she asked me to be her girlfriend and kissed me in my doorway and it was so good it made me weak in the knees, _is what Dani wants to say but those won’t be the words she uses. She doesn’t know what Albert will think of their relationship, doesn’t know if Jamie has ever opened up to him about that part of her life and it’s not her place to do it for her now if she hasn't.__

__“I saw her a few days ago, but haven’t heard from her since,” she says. “I’m sure she’ll drop by today or tomorrow to check the plants and help you but...I could take a look at your faucet if you like? I’m good with my hands.”_ _

__He narrows his eyes and sets down the pile of books on the window sill. “You ever dealt with plumbing and pipes?”_ _

__She purses her lips and shakes her head. “Uh, well, not exactly...but I’m a quick learner and maybe it’s an easy fix?”_ _

__He thinks about it and slips his hands into his trouser pockets and walks towards the counter. “Alright, why not. But if you make things worse, you’ll have to deal with Jamie, not me.”_ _

__Dani smirks. “I’m not too worried about that.”_ _

__If only Albert knew._ _

__Later that afternoon, Dani makes her way up the creaky staircase and steps into Albert’s flat for the first time. She’s not sure what she expected to find but much like the shop below, there are books and plants everywhere. It’s small but all the space that one person would need. There are knitted blankets draped over the sofa and chair and an old radio in the corner below a window. Dani walks around the small open plan space and admires the photos hanging on the wall and a variety of little trinkets ranging from a small wooden airplane to an opal coloured seashell placed on a shelf._ _

__Dani leaves the living room and walks down the hallway towards the washroom where the problematic bath faucet is waiting for assistance. When she enters the room she finds a toolbox inside the tub and she laughs a little bit, finding it somewhat humorous just how prepared Albert is for someone to fix the problem. She kneels on the bath mat and starts by turning the water faucet on and water spills out from around the edges of the faucet, telling her that the seal around the tiles needs to be re-done. She opens the toolbox and stares down at the variety of tools and scratches her head. She had executed step one, locate the issue. Step two though...that was trickier because she didn’t exactly know what to use to fix the problem and that’s when she decides she might just be a bit out of her element. A little too confident, perhaps._ _

__She walks back down into the shop and as she descends the stairs she hears a very familiar voice in conversation with Albert and halts her movement for a moment._ _

__“Gift wrapping now? Blimey. Dani sure has turned things around in this dusty old place,” Jamie says._ _

__“She’s been a great help, I know how lucky I am to have her,” Albert replies._ _

__“We’re all lucky to have her.”__

____

____

__Dani smiles to herself and continues and when she makes it to the bottom step, an especially creaky floorboard alerts Albert and Jamie to her presence._ _

__“Jamie, hi,” she says cheerfully. “Albert was hoping you’d come by.”_ _

__“Albert was, eh?” Jamie smiles and winks at Dani. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here now. Can’t stay long though, we’re getting a delivery at the estate and I need to be there when it arrives.”_ _

__“I tried to fix the faucet upstairs but ran into a little bit of an issue.”_ _

__“You tried to fix it?” Jamie puts her hands in her pockets and glances between Dani and Albert. “Dani Clayton, I learn more about you every day.”_ _

__“Turns out I don’t really know what I’m doing.”_ _

__“Ah, that’s alright, love. Appreciate ya giving it a shot,” Albert says. He rounds the counter and puts a strong hand on Jamie’s shoulder. “Jamie here says she knows what she needs to fix it and will come back in coupla days with the right tools. Now, if you don’t mind I best be getting upstairs because Corrie is on in ten minutes and yesterday ended on quite a cliffhanger, let me tell you.”_ _

__Jamie hugs Albert from the side and he wobbles towards the stairs and past Dani then slowly makes his way up to his flat. When they hear the door to his flat close, Jamie turns her attention to Dani._ _

__“Didn’t know you had an interest in plumbing,” she says. “Fancy a little work with pipes, do you?”_ _

__Dani rolls her eyes and leans against a bookshelf by the stairs. “No. I definitely do not fancy any work with pipes. That time in my life has come and gone and I was just never meant for that line of work.”_ _

__Jamie’s eyes widen at the bold innuendo and she laughs. “Bet your girlfriend is glad to hear that.”_ _

__“Don’t know,” Dani says sarcastically and shrugs her shoulders. “Have you seen her lately?”_ _

__“Why, is she fit?”_ _

__“Yeah, she’s pretty fit. She does hard labour all day, she’s very strong.”_ _

__Jamie chuckles and walks over to Dani. She looks around the shop and shoots a glance out the window to make sure there are no prying eyes and then she traps Dani against the wall._ _

__“While I am very strong...when we use the word fit here in England, it means attractive. Sexy, even.”_ _

__“Oh.” Dani thinks about something for a moment and then she smiles again. “Then my answer definitely doesn’t change,” she replies. “My girlfriend is very fit.”_ _

__Jamie leans in and kisses Dani and when she pulls back she sees a blush has spread across her face and the blonde bites her lip. “I love the way that sounds coming from your lips,” Jamie says._ _

__“And I love your lips,” Dani replies with a low voice and hooded eyes. Jamie moves in even closer and rocks her hips forward into Dani. The feeling causes her to softly moan and the sound is almost enough to make Jamie want to put her hands in places she can’t, not yet at least, and not just because they’re in a public place so she gives Dani one more kiss and takes a step back._ _

__“Better be off then, lots of work to do, very little time to do it,” she says and Dani pouts._ _

__“Not fair.”_ _

__“I promise I’ll make up for it. Maybe by...us grabbing a drink tonight?”_ _

__Yes, Dani does want to get a drink with Jamie but something stops her from agreeing right away.__

____

____

____

____

__“I told her to fuck off, Dani,” Jamie adds, sensing her hesitation and understanding why it’s there. “Used those exact words. I don’t think she’ll even want to come ‘round me anymore.”_ _

__“Okay,” Dani answers. “Okay. We can get a drink tonight.”_ _

__With one more quick scan of the shop and out the window, Jamie approaches Dani again and cups her cheek. She strokes a thumb across her soft skin and gives her a sweet, tender kiss. When she pulls away, Dani’s eyelids flutter open and Jamie smiles._ _

__“I’ll see you tonight then, at 8 o’clock, okay?”_ _

__Dani nods and Jamie turns and exits the bookshop. How the hell was Dani going to be able to focus on work for the rest of the day now? The phone rings and gets her out of her own head and she thanks the universe for a perfect distraction from thoughts of Jamie...making up for things later and whatever that might entail._ _

____

___________

Dani pushes open the door to the small-town pub at promptly 8 o’clock. Despite the fact that she had been dressed and ready an hour prior, she patiently waited for an appropriate time to leave her home and walk the short distance to the pub. It’s a walk she had made twice only two days prior but now she knew Jamie would be waiting for her. 

Jamie. Her _girlfriend_. 

The words tasted sweet in her mouth. Just as sweet as Jamie’s lips on her own and she still couldn’t entirely believe that one of the best things to come into her life had been the result of a spur of the moment decision to take a train to a nowhere place. 

When Dani steps inside the inviting warmth of the pub, she spots Jamie right away by the bar. Her nerves are high and she knows there’s no need to be nervous but when she got down to it, her experience with women was...well...non-existent and sure, she had managed okay so far but it wasn’t just flirting and kissing in a doorway anymore. Now it was a relationship and she kind of had no idea what she was doing. She untucks and retucks her blouse into the waist of a pair of light blue jeans and smoothes back the hair around her face, brushing stray hairs behind her ears. She takes a big deep breath and approaches the bar and comes to stand beside Jamie.

“Hey. Come here often?”

Jamie turns and when her eyes land on Dani, her face lights up. She gives the blonde a once over and leans into the bar top. 

“Sorry, mate. I’m waiting for my girlfriend so you best be on your way,” she replies with a flirtatious tone to her voice.

“She must be a very lucky woman.”

“Mmm, yeah, she is, but so am I.” Jamie grins and reaches out to take Dani’s hand in hers. “You look nice.”

Dani blushes and shyly glances away. Butterflies begin to flutter around inside of her once again and when she looks back at Jamie, the brunette is studying her curiously.

“You know...when you blush, the freckles on your nose stand out a bit more,” Jamie says. “I like it.”

“Gosh, I won’t be able to stop blushing if you keep saying things like that,” Dani says. 

Jamie leans into Dani and brings her lips to her ear. “Won’t stop saying things like that then,” she whispers and pulls back. “So, what’ll you have to drink?”

She wants to make a clever comeback, but she can’t think of one no matter how hard she tries. All Dani can do is search for the breath Jamie had just taken away and try to slow her heartbeat. _Is it normal for someone to make you feel this way? My heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of my chest,_ she thinks.

“I’ll have whatever you’re drinking,” Dani says and a few minutes later two glasses of straight whisky are placed in front of them.

“Thanks, mate,” Jamie says to the bartender as she slaps down a few bills. She nods in the other direction and smiles at Dani. “Come on.”

Jamie walks them over to an empty table by the jukebox and the memory of Jamie first standing beside her while they chose a song together plays through her mind as they sit down. Jamie sips her drink and watches Dani as she scans the room.

“She’s not here,” she says. 

“I’m not looking for that reason,” Dani replies, but it’s a lie. Her gaze lands back on Jamie and she sits up straighter in her seat then brings her glass to her lips. She takes a sip and makes a sour face as the strong alcohol goes down her throat.

Jamie laughs a little bit at Dani’s reaction. “You wanted what I was drinking,” she says and sips her own drink. “You’re not much of a liquor fan are you?”

“What gave it away?” 

“Looked like you were swallowing vinegar.”

“I’m uh...more of a social drinker...I guess.”

Jamie sits back in her chair and puts an arm over it. “I started drinking too young. Started doing a lot of things too young to be fair... but nobody was around to stop me.”

“My mom let me have a little wine when I was young once but I never really had alcohol for real until I turned 21.”

“21? Blimey. That seems old.”

“America is a different place. You can fight for your country at 18 but can’t buy cigarettes or alcohol until you’re the ripe age of 21.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to America,” Jamie admits. 

Dani smiles and leans forward, resting her arms on the table in front of her. “Why?”

“We don’t get much snow here and I love it.”

“I’m from the Midwest,” Dani says and even though she’s not fond of it, she takes another sip of her whisky and closes her eyes as she swallows it. “And we can get more snow in a day than you’d want in a lifetime.”

Jamie thinks for a moment and sits forward slightly in her seat. She looks at Dani and imagines what it might be like to experience that with her. What it might be like to experience a lot of things with her and she thinks for a moment, choosing her words carefully, not wanting to be too forward.

“Maybe someday...I don’t know...maybe we can go back there to see the snow.”

“You’d really want to do that?” Dani asks.

“Maybe,” Jamie says. She half-smiles and slightly nods her head. “Someday.”

She wants a someday with Dani and she knows just how lucky she'll be if she were to get it. She can see it in the eyes of the blonde when she smiles, when she's focused on a task, when she scrunches her nose up if she’s unsure about something. She can see her someday in all of those small, endearing things that Dani does, and even if that day is far off in the future, it sure is nice to imagine.

“Do you want to play darts?” Dani asks, pulling Jamie from her thoughts. 

“You know how to play darts?”

Dani takes another sip of her whisky and it doesn’t burn her throat quite as much now, it almost convinced her that she could drink another. She pushes her chair back and stands up. “No, I don’t. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t play, right?”

As it turns out, Dani is very, very poor at darts. Almost embarrassingly poor, in fact, and Jamie can’t stop teasing her about it. 

“It’s meant to go into the board, you know that... right?”

“Like you’ve done any better, miss watch me get it in the bullseye.”

Dani had a point. Jamie had said those exact words in an effort to show off in front of a very pretty girl but she hadn’t yet delivered on her statement. 

“My darts make it into the board though,” Jamie argues. “Yours are on the carpet.”

“What if we make a wager?”

Jamie throws her three darts and walks to the board to collect them. She takes a piece of chalk and scribbles a number on the board then spins around and smiles at Dani. “Whad’ya have in mind?”

“If I win, I get to take you upstairs to your flat. If you win, you get to take me.”

It’s an incredibly bold thing to say and Dani wouldn’t normally be quite so forward but she’s drunk on whisky and Jamie and doesn’t care about filtering herself when the woman has been looking at her with hungry eyes all evening.

“Sounds like we’d both be the winner no matter what.”

Dani runs a hand through her hair and she can feel that Jamie is watching her intently as she does. She brushes it back over her forehead and puts her hands on her hips in the most seductive way she possibly can, though seductive is never something she thought she could be. In fact, she always felt as though her sex appeal was practically nonexistent but when you’ve seen someone look at you with lust in their eyes, when you’ve felt their hands on your body in a way that no one has touched you before, it changes how you see yourself. “So, do we have a deal?”

Jamie swallows a lump in her throat and nods in complete agreement. 

“I believe it’s my throw,” Dani says, knowing she stands zero chance at winning the game. Jamie moves off to the side of the board as she throws her three darts one after another and to both of their surprise, they all make it into the board. 

“Have you been holding out on me?” Dani grins and proudly goes to collect her darts. Jamie leans against the wall beside the dartboard and shakes her head. “Feels like I’m being played.”

Dani looks at her as she pulls her first dart out and she winks. “Guess we have a game on our hands now.”

This is a side of Dani that Jamie hasn’t seen yet and she is completely captivated by it. No one else in the pub even exists and she can’t tear her eyes away from the intoxicating blonde standing just a couple of feet from her. Even if she could, she wouldn’t want to. 

40 minutes and two drinks later, Jamie throws her last dart towards the board and it lands just to the right of the bullseye. They had taken their time with the game, flirting with each other and trying desperately to keep their hands to themselves. They were after all in a very public place in a very small town and it's not that they cared but rumours spread like wildfire and Jamie enjoyed her privacy. For Dani, all of it was still new and exciting, and hadn’t yet faced the cruelty of some people in regards to who she chooses to be with. 

“Huh, look at that, think this means I’ve won, right?” Jamie walks up to the board and plucks off her darts and puts them back in their place on the door of the dartboard. She adds one more number to the board with a piece of chalk and when she turns around, Dani is tossing back the little liquid left in her drink and looking like she might catch fire if she’s not touched. Jamie says nothing and simply walks over to Dani and grabs her hand and pulls her away from their table by the dartboard and tugs her towards the doorway that leads to the staircase. 

It would have been so easy to pin Dani up against the wall in the stairwell as soon as they walked through the door but Jamie doesn’t want to lose herself in the other woman just a few feet away from the grimey, smokiness of the old pub. Dani was special and that would be the farthest thing from special. 

She keeps hold of Dani’s hand as she leads them up the stairs and when they get to her door, she digs around in her pocket for her keys and can feel Dani standing right up against her. Her fingers fumble slightly as she inserts the key into the lock and Dani quietly laughs. Finally, she gets the door open and lets out a sigh of relief as she turns the door handle and invites Dani into her own quiet world. They step over the threshold and walk into the dark apartment and Jamie closes the door behind them. She walks across the room and flicks on a lamp and warm light spreads throughout the space, making it come alive. 

“Welcome home,” she says. 

Dani looks around and is completely unsurprised by what she sees. There are plants hanging from hooks in the ceiling and flowers growing on a wide table by a window that overlooks the road below. The living room bleeds into the kitchen and the open floor plan feels very fitting given the flat is meant mostly for one person. She steps away from the door and wanders around the flat, exploring and studying all of the things that make the space so unequivocally Jamie. The coffee table in front of the sofa is covered with books about plants and an unfinished cup of tea rests on a coaster with a sunflower design. Dani smiles as she pictures Jamie sitting on the couch with a steaming cup of tea, nose buried in a book about lavender and peppermint plants. _How nice it would be_ , Dani thinks. _To sit here in the quiet with you while we read, your hand on my thigh, sharing a blanket._

“I like it,” Dani says. “It feels like you.”

Jamie stands awkwardly off to the side near the kitchen area as Dani continues to explore the room. She slips her hands into her pockets as she watches her pick up a small potted succulent. She’s never wanted someone else to be in her own world like this before. No one else had ever been worth the risk but she wants Dani to touch and study and survey everything she wants to. She wants her curiosity to run wild.

“It’s not much but it’s mine,” she says and Dani looks back at her and puts the pot back down on a shelf. Her heart starts to hammer in her chest as Dani walks back over to her with a smile on her face.

“I bet it’s nice to have a place that’s truly your own. Nice to put down real roots.”

“Yeah, bloody amazing to be honest. For a long time, I didn’t think I’d get to a place like this and I remember my first night here like it was yesterday. Might have even shed a tear or two.”

Dani stops in front of her and laughs a little bit. “No, you didn’t.”

“Can’t fool you, can I? Nah, I didn’t. But, I didn’t sleep that night because it did feel a little like I was dreaming and I was a bit scared to wake up.”

“And now look how far you’ve come? I’m proud of you,” Dani says and she means it. She steps in even closer to Jamie and like some kind of natural pull of gravity, their hands both reach out and land on the other’s body, with Jamie dropping her hands to Dani’s waist and Dani bringing her arms around to the middle of Jamie’s back.

Those three words, _I’m proud of you_ , land in her heart and settle deeply, just as Dani has. She takes a shaky breath and leans into Dani and touches their foreheads together.

“You’re the first person who has ever said that to me,” Jamie whispers.

The words are laced with a type of sadness that Dani doesn’t want to confront because she knows if she does, she’ll want to go and fight every person in Jamie’s life who had made her feel like she didn’t matter. She brushes her nose against Jamie’s then slowly dips her head down and kisses her. All of the lust and sexual tension that had been flowing between them downstairs in the pub is still there, coursing through their veins, but this kiss is tender and Dani wants Jamie to know that she does matter. She matters and she deserves to feel like it.

Jamie swipes her tongue over Dani’s bottom lip and an eager mouth opens and allows her to swiftly move in and deepen the kiss. Her skillful hands slide up from Dani’s waist and slowly drift towards her chest but then slide back down to her waist and untuck her shirt. They float under the fabric and graze her bare skin and Dani whimpers into the kiss at the feeling of cold, slightly rough hands on her. Those hands travel across the skin around her hips and she digs her nails into Jamie’s back. 

“Jamie,” she says into the kiss. “Can we...your bed…”

Jamie nips at her bottom lip and pulls back. Her eyes are dark with desire and she nods and her hands slip out from under Dani’s shirt. Dani drops her own hands and Jamie takes one and pulls her towards a door on the opposite side of the room. Street lights outside the bedroom window light the room just enough for them to see each other and Jamie attaches her lips to Dani again as they stumble back towards the bed.

The back of Jamie’s knees hit the edge of the bed first and she falls back against it, tugging Dani down on top of her. Her own hands return to their place below the fabric of Dani’s shirt and she gently grips the skin and when Dani rocks forward and leans down to kiss her again, her knee presses up into the apex of Jamie’s thighs and the slight contact is enough to make the brunette moan into her mouth.

Jamie scrapes her fingernails up and down Dani’s side under her shirt and then they timidly drift inwards towards her chest and Dani reaches down and drags one across to cup her breast. She pulls her lips off Jamie’s and her head tilts back as Jamie squeezes. Jamie opens her eyes and glances up at Dani, the light from the lamp outside casting a shadow across her face, but Jamie can see her eyes are clenched shut and her lips are parted. Dani rocks her hips forward again and her knee presses even harder into Jamie and now it’s her turn to shut her eyes and drop her head back against the bed. Her breathing grows heavy and she lets her hands wander once more then pulls Dani’s mouth back to her own.

They stay that way for a few minutes, kissing and letting their hands roam and discover some of the ways they make each other tremble, and then it starts to grow more heated and Jamie swiftly flips their positions so she’s the one hovering above Dani.

“You’re wrong you know,” she whispers as she gazes down at Dani, whose blonde locks are spilled out around her on the bedspread.

“About what?” Dani asks, her chest heaving with anticipation.

“You are the most beautiful girl in the room. Always.”

Dani pulls Jamie down and kisses her again and she thinks that it might be the most perfect kiss a person could have. They pour themselves into it and then Jamie slips a hand under her shirt again and it moves back up to cup one of her breasts. She starts to kiss along Dani’s jawline and down to her neck and she finds her pulse point and sucks gently. She boldly grinds her hips down against Dani and it makes the blonde quietly cry out in pleasure.

They start to move against each-other, still completely clothed, as Jamie kisses and sucks Dani’s neck and Dani starts to feel a little overwhelmed. It all feels so incredible and Jamie’s weight on top of her, moving against her in such a delicious way feels so fucking good but she’s never been in this position before, not in a way she wanted to be. She’s never felt what she’s feeling with another person before and she needs it to be slower. She’s not ready for it to be so swift even if Jamie was being so tender with her.

“Jamie,” she whispers. “I need...I need some….some air."

Jamie lifts her head and looks down at Dani with a concerned expression. She sits up and pulls her hands away from her chest and searches Dani’s face for signs of something being wrong. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Dani shakes her head and then covers her face with her hands. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, feeling embarrassed. “I can’t.”

“Oh, Dani. You do not need to apologize for putting the brakes on. You don’t.”

She brushes some hair off Dani’s forehead and pulls the hands off her face and Dani looks up at her, afraid and unsure.

“I want this, but it’s too much too soon,” Dani admits. “Is that okay?”

Jamie lifts her legs so she’s no longer lying on top of Dani and she moves, laying down beside her on the bed. She cups her cheek and nods. “Yes, yes it’s okay. I would never make you do anything you weren’t ready for. I want us to do this when you feel safe and comfortable, when it feels right for you. That’s when I want it to happen.”

Dani turns over onto her side and she moves closer to Jamie. “Can we just...lay here together?”

“Yeah, yeah of course we can,” Jamie replies. She scoots up higher on the bed and lays her head back against the pillows and opens her arms for Dani to come to lay with her. Dani slides up towards her and lays her head against her shoulder and a protective arm moves around her and holds her close. Dani settles into the embrace and can’t remember the last time she’s felt so comfortable and safe.

They fall asleep like that, a little drunk and utterly content, fitting together like perfect puzzle pieces and when the sun first shines through the window come morning, Dani stirs and her eyes drift up to Jamie, still peacefully asleep beside her. She cuddles in even closer and closes her eyes again, not wanting the moment to be over quite yet. She knows that there will be so many more moments like it in the future but right now, this is the only one that matters to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you to stick with me after that last chapter, hope it's been worth it so far! 
> 
> ps: things may get a bit spicy in the next chapter so there will probably be a rating change


	7. You're a Masterpiece & I'm a Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all of you lovely readers! I'm back with a brand new chapter and while I didn't intend to write so much for this one, once I started writing - I just couldn't stop & here we are!
> 
> I’d love to hear your thoughts on the chapter because your kind words always make me want to write more, and write better! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one! x

Jamie is elbows deep in mulch when she hears the sound of shoes on the cobblestone walkway as someone approaches her from behind. 

“Good afternoon, Jamie.”

She glances over her shoulder to find a man in a tailored suit and perfectly shined dress shoes standing on the path with a smile on his face. He is a man that looks far more intimidating than he actually is and Jamie had learned that about him quite early on in her employment, but that fact never lessened the anxiety she sometimes felt when he would arrive on the property out of the blue and call for her. She stands and pulls off her gardening gloves. 

“Afternoon, Boss,” she says. “Nearly done out here, should be party-ready in just a coupla days.”

“That’s wonderful news, everything really is coming together. I’ve actually come out here to ask you if you’d like to go on a little walk with me.”

 _What did I do wrong…_ , Jamie thinks. _Did I plant flowers in the wrong place? Did one of my ferns die again?_

“Right, yeah. Course,” Jamie replies and drops her gardening gloves down on the ground. 

Together they begin to stroll along the stone path that winds its way throughout the property. It wasn’t that long ago that Jamie had led Dani along this same path, her company at the time had been almost just as nerve-wracking, though for very different reasons. It’s a warm spring day and the sun slips through dense willow tree branches that cast shadows along the walkway up ahead and Jamie focuses on the sway of the shadows and the way the light seems to dance across the stone as they walk side by side. She puts her hands into the pockets of a navy blue jumpsuit and she takes a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill her lungs and prepare her for whatever conversation is about to happen. 

“So, you’ve worked here for a number of years now, correct?” Henry asks.

“About three, sir,” Jamie replies, very unsure of where her boss is headed with his line of questioning.

“Quite right. Three years. Three years is a long time, wouldn’t you say?”

“It’s definitely the longest I’ve worked anywhere.”

“And you enjoy your work, yes?”

“I do, sir. I love it. It’s the best work I’ve ever done.”

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Henry says as he nods and smiles. “I know I don’t spend much time here as we’d all live, London seems to pull me away for longer periods of time as of late but when I am here, I do love walking through the gardens and enjoying the vivid greenery and beautiful flowers. You’ve curated something wonderful here, Jamie. Our own paradise.”

“Can’t take all of the credit, most of the design does come from you. I just bring it to life,” Jamie replies. 

Henry stops walking and turns to face Jamie. He reaches into the inside breast pocket of his suit jacket and pulls out a long white envelope and holds it out for her to take. “You’ve never asked for anything during your time with us. You are a hard worker and we can always rely on you to get the job done in the most efficient way. Your work truly makes this place what it is, it speaks for itself, and for that...I wanted to thank you with a little something extra. I know your pay is slightly above what the average rate is for someone of your position, but consider this a bonus. You’ve earned it.”

Jamie slowly pulls her hands out of her pocket and takes the envelope from Henry. She’s too afraid to open it. Too afraid that whatever waits for her inside of it will make her yell, cry, laugh, all in front of her boss. So, she just smiles and brings the envelope to her heart and holds it there. 

“Thank you, Henry. I...I don’t really know what to say.”

Henry starts to walk again and Jamie has to do a quick jog to catch up to him and match his pace. 

“You don’t need to say anything. In fact, there’s something else I wanted to say. I wanted to let you know that you’re more than welcome to invite anyone you’d like to the party. There will be plenty of food and drink to go around - the more the merrier we say.”

“That’s very kind, thank you. I appreciate the extended invitation.”

He slips his hands into the pockets of his trousers and nods. “Surely it wouldn’t be fair if you, the person responsible for making our garden look this beautiful, was not allowed to attend the garden party with whomever she chooses.”

“Suppose not,” Jamie says. “I am pretty proud of how it’s all come together.” 

“As am I,” he says. “And on that note, I shall let you get back to it so you can finish up. See you on Sunday then?” 

Jamie nods. “I’ll see you on Sunday, sir. And thanks again...for the bonus.”

Henry shoots her one more smile then turns and heads back along the stone path in the direction they had come from. Jamie is left alone below the willow tree branches and she takes in her surroundings. It really is beautiful. Maybe one of the most beautiful places she had ever seen and she imagines what it all might be like come Sunday when the party is in full swing. 

_Dani in a pretty dress walking throughout the gardens, dancing to the music of the band hired to play, looking beautiful and happy. That’s what I want_ , Jamie thinks. She spins around and heads back to her mulch and her gardening gloves, admiring all of the hard work she’s done as she strolls along the pathway. She passes the rose gardens, the patches of daisies and tall sunflowers, the trimmed hedges and lush grass. So many flowers, everywhere. Never had she poured so much of herself into her work and it really had all paid off. 

Now the estate would soon be swarming with people wandering through the gardens, _her_ gardens, admiring the colourful and detailed fruits of her labour and the prospect of Dani being one of those people is very exciting. 

When she makes it back to her current project, the mulchy section of soil waiting for something to be planted in it, she holds the envelope out in front of her and takes a deep breath. She tears it open and pulls out a cheque. The number written on it nearly makes her heart stop. 

“Christ,” she says to herself in complete disbelief. She furiously blinks her eyes and refocuses her gaze on the small piece of paper in her hands to ensure she hadn’t read the number wrong but the amount doesn’t change. Never in her entire life has she held so much money in her own two hands and she has absolutely no idea what to do with it...so, she slips the cheque back into the envelope and puts it in the pocket inside her jumpsuit, picks her gloves up off the ground and gets back to work. Because for right now, that’s all she can do.

___________

“Thank you so, so much! I really think this is going to be wonderful and I’m thrilled that the author loves the idea as much as we do. We’ll be in touch to finalize the details...okay, great. Fantastic. Thank you again, take care.”

Dani hangs up the phone and excitedly hops around behind the counter. She does a little dance just as Albert walks down the stairs from his flat and enters the bookstore.

“You won’t believe what happened on the telly yesterday, Dani. These shows just keep getting crazier and crazier.” He notices Dani dancing and eyes her curiously. “What’s got you buzzing, love?” 

“Oh, Albert! I have the best news!” Dani rushes over to him and throws her arms around him. “We’re going to have a book reading and signing in our little shop!”

“Is that so? Oh, lovely! You managed to make it happen!”

Dani pulls back from her hug and Albert is smiling. “All of the details still need to be formally worked out but it’s going to happen!”

“Can’t imagine a whole crowd of people sitting in my shop.”

“I can! The people who come in here love this place so much and this is going to be one more thing to make them happy. I’ve already sold four more copies of the book this week.”

Albert beams and he glances around his beloved store. Dani had seemed to give it a new life and for that he was grateful. It was always a place where regular locals would pop in every now and then, a slow but somewhat steady business. With Dani’s help it was becoming what he always wanted it to be - a place for new people to discover, a place where they could come in to disappear between the stacks, a place to chat about literature, a place where people could find themselves a little joy between the pages of the books that filled their shelves, the spaces on the floor, the large bay window.

The calm atmosphere that Jamie had helped to create with all of the lush greenery made it feel alive and the store suddenly had more life in if than its had in a very long time. Bookstores, he knows, are magical places where you’re not just allowed to dream, imagine, learn, and escape but in fact, you’re encouraged. For the first time in ages, years maybe, his little shop, his little world tucked away in a peaceful corner of their small northern town had a whole lot more magic in it. It was becoming a place where you could clear your head and fill your heart all at once and places like that were so very rare.

“Don’t think I’ve said this to ya yet, Dani...but thank you for all of your help ‘round here. Truly, thank you.”

“Albert, I should thank you,” Dani says. She takes his hand in hers and gives it a comforting squeeze. “This job makes me so happy and what also makes me happy is helping you turn this business around and we’re doing it!”

He smiles just as the bell above the door rings and a customer walks in. Dani gives his hand a little squeeze and slips into shop mode as she approaches a potential customer.

“Hi there,” she says. “How can I help you today?”

A young lad in his teens looks around the shop and back at Dani. “I need to get a book for school. Do you have anything by Shakespeare?”

“We sure do. Right by the window here actually. Lots of different versions and reprints of his plays, lots to choose from. Is there a specific Shakespeare play you need?”

The teen boy scratches his head and narrows his eyes. “I think it’s called Hamlet?”

“We can definitely help you out with that,” Dani replies. She leads the boy to the bookshelves by the window and reaches up to the top shelf right beside a lush and viney plant and grabs a used copy of Hamlet, figuring he wouldn’t want to spend the money on a brand new one if it was just for school. She hands him the book and he flips through the pages and nods in approval.

“We’re learning Shakespeare in one of my classes and my teacher told us we needed to have our own copy,” he says. “Don’t know what I’ll do with it once we don’t need it anymore though...”

“I know it might seem a bit boring and dry at first,” Dani says. “It may even hard to understand, but give it a shot before you decide it’s not your thing. Mr. Shakespeare? Well, he just might surprise you because I know he’s surprised me so many times.”

“Okay,” the boy says and tries to hide how charmed he is by her. “I will.”

He leaves her by the window to go buy the book and Dani slips her hands into the pockets of her trousers and looks out the window. It’s a beautiful day in and she closes her eyes and basks in the warmth of the sun on her face as it shines into the shop. It’s a perfect moment of peace and she takes a deep breath then opens her eyes to see speckles of dust float through the rays of light.

It is a good day. A very good day. Things with the shop are going well, her relationship with Jamie is flourishing and she could not feel farther away from all that she had left behind. She really never thought she could feel this kind of happiness, the kind that lights up your soul and makes you feel warm, and the kind of happiness that seems to fill all of your dark spaces with something so much brighter. 

It’s addicting and she can’t get enough.

___________

Soft jazz music floats through Dani’s flat and she hums along to the music as she adds some spices to a pot of soup. As she sways to the music in front of the stove and stirs in the spices, there’s a knock on her door. She turns the burner down and wipes her hands off on a tea towel and walks across the flat to the door. She unlocks it and opens it wide to find Jamie standing in the hallway with a warm smile on her face. Her eyes shamelessly roam Jamie’s body and take in a pair of tight dark denim, a well-worn band t-shirt tucked in at her waist covered by an open flannel shirt and black boots. _How can someone look this good all the time?_ , Dani thinks. 

Jamie’s arms are behind her back and she brings them forward and holds out a bouquet of flowers - a mix of daisies, carnations, and roses - to Dani. 

“Hi,” she says. “These are for you.”

“Oh, Jamie. These are so beautiful.”

“They reminded me of you.”

Dani accepts the flowers and brings them to her nose. She closes her eyes and takes a deep inhale, letting the comforting scent sink in and when she lowers the bouquet and opens her eyes, Jamie is watching her with a subtle curiosity written on her face. 

“What? Did I get some pollen on my nose?” Dani asks. 

Jamie shakes her head and takes a step forward. She lifts a hand to Dani’s cheek and cups the soft freckled skin then leans in and kisses her. Dani’s eyes flutter closed and her knees nearly give out beneath her because of the softness of it all. Their lips move together in such a natural way and the more Dani leans into Jamie’s touch, the more the brunette leans into hers. Jamie pulls back from the kiss and smiles at the blush that’s spread across Dani’s nose and when Dani finally opens her own eyes, they’re bright and filled with the most beautiful sense of wonder. 

“I really like being greeted this way,” Dani whispers and Jamie swipes her thumb across her cheek. 

_You deserve it,_ Jamie thinks as she stands close to Dani, close enough to feel her warmth and smell her sweet perfume. _Anyone who has ever thought you weren’t worth being treated this way is a bloody fool_.

“Can I come inside?” 

Dani nods and steps aside so she can walk past her into the flat. Jamie takes off her flannel and drapes it over a chair by the kitchen table and Dani closes her door. 

“Smells amazing in here,” Jamie says. “What are ya making?”

“Butternut squash soup,” Dani replies. She walks back into the kitchen and puts the bouquet down on the counter and reaches up into a cupboard above her to get a vase for the flowers. How lovely it is to have another piece of Jamie in her home. How perfect it feels. How _right_.

“Can’t say I’ve ever tried it.”

Dani spins around with wide eyes. “You’ve never had butternut squash soup? It’s amazing. I love making it in the spring. It always feels very homey and perfect for when the weather starts to get nicer but there’s still a subtle chill in the air.”

“You make it sound brilliant.”

“That’s because it is and you’re going to have some.”

Jamie explores Dani’s small flat while she finishes preparing the soup and she feels it like a lightning bolt straight to heart when Dani begins to hum along to the music again. The sound seems to fill the room and it swirls around with the delicious scent of the meal they’re about to eat and everything about it feels so easy in the most beautiful way. Jamie feels peaceful as she admires all of the small ways Dani has settled into her home and she sits on one of the kitchen chairs and watches Dani as she moves with ease from the stove to the fridge and back again. She had never been the type of person to enjoy watching people do mundane things but with Dani, much like in so many other ways, it’s different. 

There’s something special about truly existing in the small moments with someone that matters to you. There’s a sense of calm, of comfort, no need to rush through it because nothing waiting on the other side of those moments could possibly be better. Jamie doesn’t realize that she’s staring in complete awe of the woman in front of her until Dani catches her eye and winks. 

Dani slices a loaf of bread and sets it down on the table in front of Jamie with a small dish of butter then fills two bowls with her soup. She retrieves a bottle of wine from the fridge and pops the cork and pours each of them a glass and when she finally settles in at the small table across from Jamie, she feels a little nervous and she isn’t entirely sure why. Maybe it’s because the only person she had ever cooked for was a man who never really appreciated it, but rather expected it. Maybe it’s because the person sitting an arms-length away isn’t just another regular person, but someone who matters more to here than anyone ever has. 

_Dani, it’s just soup. It’s literally just soup_ , she tries to tell herself but the thought doesn’t get her very far. 

Jamie puts her spoon in the bowl then brings it to her mouth and hums in approval as she swallows a generous helping of the soup. Dani tries to hide the fact that she’s desperate for some kind of review, some kind of statement that could tell her if Jamie actually enjoyed it or if she was just being a good girlfriend and acting that way. 

“Dani, I can’t believe you made this. You were right, it’s amazing.”

“You really like it?”

“I really, really like it. It might be one of the best things I’ve ever tasted.”

Jamie licks a drop of soup off her bottom lip and Dani’s mind fills with thoughts that she usually saves for when she can’t sleep at night, saves for when she’s stressed and needs some kind of release, saves for when she alone in the shower first thing in the morning, but now the central focus of those thoughts is sitting right across from her licking her lips and looking so fucking good that it takes every bit of self-restraint she has to not reach across the table and shove the meal aside. She wants to be ready to bring all of those thoughts of Jamie to life. God how she wants to be ready. But she knows she’s not. She doesn’t want to jump into bed with Jamie just to pull herself back a few minutes into it. She wants to be able to let go and give herself completely and as she watches Jamie eat soup of all things, she can feel that the moment when she will be ready isn't far away. But for now, those thoughts simply live alone in her mind.

“Good,” Dani manages to say. “I’m glad you like it.”

“So…” Jamie picks up her wine glass and leans back in her seat. “I have a question for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Dani pops a piece of bread into her mouth and reaches for her own wine glass. 

“You know how I’ve been workin’ my arse off over at the estate trying to get ready for this big garden party, I’ve mentioned it once or twice. Well, Henry, the bloke I work for, he told me I can come to the party and bring someone along with me. I was wondering...well, hoping really, that you’d be my date?”

When Dani doesn’t answer the question right away and just looks at her, Jamie thinks that maybe asking was a mistake so she looks down at her lap and shifts in her chair feeling a little foolish. “It’s stupid, you don’t have to come. It’s just a boring party, all good. Forget I asked.”

“Jamie,” Dani says, but the brunette doesn’t look up. “Jamie. Hey.”

She lifts her gaze to Dani and her heart skips a beat because Dani is looking at her with a wide, contagious smile and then Dani gets up from her seat and takes the wine glass out of her hands, and sits across her lap. It takes Jamie by complete surprise but she slides her arms around Dani’s waist and holds on to her tightly. 

“I would love to be your date and I’m honoured that I get to be there with you when everyone is enjoying all of your beautiful hard work,” Dani says. “So many more people are going to recognize just how talented you are.”

 _I think I’m falling in love with you_ , Jamie thinks as she gazes up at Dani. _No, I think I may have already fallen. You’re a masterpiece and I’m a mess but I am so damn lucky._

“I’ll be ‘round at noon on Sunday to pick you up then," Jamie says. Dani nods her head and leans down to press a chaste kiss to her lips but that chaste kiss quickly builds to more. The kiss turning more heated wasn’t intentional, but it was inevitable. 

Jamie nips at Dani’s bottom lip and strong, slightly rough hands slip under the bottom hem of her shirt and Dani shivers at the feeling of Jamie touching her bare skin. When a tongue swipes across her bottom lip, she opens her mouth to let it slip inside without protest and Jamie instinctively pulls her closer. Air becomes necessary and they reluctantly put space between one another. Jamie smiles and Dani leans into her, resting their foreheads together. 

“I think it’s always going to feel like that,” she says. 

“Like...magic,” Jamie replies and nuzzles her nose against Dani’s. 

“Like magic.”

___________

A party means a dress but Dani has a problem. She only has _one_ dress and she doesn’t want to wear the same dress again to an important party with Jamie. She knows the gardener won’t care, she knows Jamie still whisper compliments in her ear that make her blush and make her feel beautiful but the event calls for a new dress and that’s exactly what she’s going to get...even if she doesn’t know what she’s looking for or what she really likes.

This is how she finds herself browsing through the racks in a small women's clothing store just around the corner from the bookstore. Everything feels a tad outdated, a tad too mature for her, and nothing screams her name. She’s starting to feel a little hopeless about the search until her eye catches sight of a lilac coloured floral patterned long sleeve dress and she pulls it out from between two other dresses and holds it out in front of her 

It’s a simple cut, very basic design that comes in slightly at the waist and falls to the mid-thigh. She puts it up against her body and looks down at it - not too bad at all. 

“Oh, how lovely,” a saleswoman behind her says.

Dani turns around and a woman who looks to be in her late 60’s is nodding in approval at the dress. 

“You think so? I don’t know…it’s for a party.”

“The chap who is lucky enough to be your date to this party won’t be able to keep his eyes off you.”

The woman leads Dani towards a changing room and when she comes out, she does a little spin in the dress and looks at herself in a large mirror. She runs her hands over her abdomen and smoothes out the material. The combination of the flattering shade of purple and the soft fabric with delicate flowers scattered across it makes it impossible to say no to. It must’ve been her lucky day to find something that seemed to work for her so perfectly and the woman comes up behind her, smiling enthusiastically, confirming Dani’s own thoughts about the dress.

“You’re right. I think my date is really going to really like it,” Dani says and her eyes look to the woman’s face in the reflection of the mirror for a reaction. “My girlfriend. I think she’ll like it a lot.”

It’s the first time she says it out loud to someone other than Jamie. _Girlfriend_. She doesn’t care what the woman thinks or what anyone thinks, really. She has spent years being afraid of her own feelings, years pretending she didn’t know and couldn’t feel who she really is or what her heart wanted and now there’s an extraordinary person in her life who makes her forget all about what things were like before. Jamie makes her want to shout things from the rooftops. 

_I get to kiss her, make her laugh, and hold her close because she’s my girlfriend and I want you all to know. ___

__The word girlfriend is sweet on her lips and suddenly it’s as if being anything else but Jamie’s girlfriend is completely foreign, sour, almost unimaginable. She never wants to go back to existing in a world where Jamie isn’t something because Jamie is everything._ _

__Dani buys the dress and walks back to the bookstore, the bag swinging back and forth happily in her hand. Albert is behind the counter helping a customer when she walks in and she smiles and nods as she heads back towards the room behind the stairs. When she comes out, the customer is gone and Albert is cleaning up the display on the cash counter._ _

__“Sold another copy of that book while you were out, pretty pleased about it,” he says._ _

__“I’m surprised we have any copies left in stock,” Dani replies and walks behind the counter and takes a seat on the stool. “I think I’m going to re-do the window display with some of the books, maybe make it look really pretty and fresh for spring.”_ _

__Albert smiles and nods. “Feel free to do what ya like, love. Sounds all fine to me. I trust you.”_ _

__They work in comfortable silence for a few minutes, with Albert wiping down the counter and Dani rummaging through some paperwork on a shelf underneath. Dani starts to hum along to some music in her head and Albert stops what he’s doing and leans against the long, dark wooden table._ _

__“You’ve been extra chuffed lately.”_ _

__Dani pops her head up and can’t hide the wide, beaming smile on her face. “Things are just going well,” she says, looking away from his questioning gaze._ _

__“Seen Jamie lately?” She tries to refocus on the mess of paperwork but she can’t and gets up and sits on the stool again. “Because she seems pretty pleased lately as well.”_ _

__“I think things are just going well for her at work. Her big garden party is this weekend and she’s worked so hard and everything’s really come together. I’m looking forward to it.”_ _

__Albert raises his eyebrows then half-smiles. “Is that so? Lucky you, gettin’ an invitation to the fancy garden party on the fancy estate.”_ _

__Dani feels her cheeks flush and she knows she’s blushing. She knows she’s given herself away but...Albert knows they’re friends. Albert has seen them interact in the store, he knows they get along well. That much is very obvious, but had they alluded to more? Had they been careless, had he caught them being a little _too_ friendly in the shop one day and they didn’t know?_ _

__“Well...Jamie and I...we’re…”_ _

__“Bloody great together.”_ _

__“You know?” Dani lifts her gaze and locks eyes with Albert. He’s smiling proudly and Dani isn’t sure what to say or do next. This is so new for her, all of it. She’s never really thought about how easy it might be for other people to notice a change in your happiness, a change in the way you carry yourself and how your eyes light up when someone special walks into the room, how your pulse quickens and you get goosebumps on your skin. But those things are hard to hide. Nearly impossible, she’s learning._ _

__“I knew before you two even knew, love. Jamie is a tough lass, lived most of her life in the shadows, even after she showed up on my doorstep. As soon as she met you, she was different. Her smile started to reach her eyes a bit more, it started to light up her face. Don’t think she’s got many of those shadows left now and I reckon she’s got you to thank for that.”_ _

__“I...gosh, Jamie is…” Dani's sentence trails off and she smiles as she thinks of the brunette. Her heart starts to beat a little faster and she loses herself in thoughts of the woman for a moment but then pulls herself back. “Jamie is someone I never expected to find.”_ _

__“We never expected to find you either but I’ve always believed that life gives you what you need when you need it most.”_ _

____How true that must be_ , Dani thinks._ _ _

__“She makes me really happy.”_ _

__“You make her just as happy,” Albert says. “Now come ‘round here and give this old man a hug.”_ _

__Dani walks out from behind the counter and Albert holds his arms open wide. She steps into his embrace and rests her head on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around her. He smells of licorice and musk and his knit sweater is soft against her skin, it’s comforting in a very familiar way. “I’m glad you found each other,” he says, kissing the top of her head._ _

__“I didn’t just find Jamie,” Dani replies as she hugs him tightly. “I found you too.”_ _

____

___________

Jamie wakes early on Sunday morning and stands in front of her small closet, staring at the very limited options she has to choose from. It wasn’t often that she had to get dressed up and she realizes this as the lack of clothing looks back at her. She hadn’t thought to go out and buy something new because a date with Dani means she could wear her best jeans and her most flattering top but this wasn’t just a date with Dani, it was a date with Dani and her boss and the hundred other people she was bound to come across later that afternoon as they all walk through her garden. 

An old, very old, black fitted suit jacket catches her eye at the back of her closest and she pulls it out and takes it off the hanger. She turns to the mirror hanging on the inside of the closet door and slips it over her shoulders. To her surprise, it looks better than she remembers it looking and she decides to pair it with black jeans and a slightly loose-fitting white blouse tucked in at the waist. When her outfit is complete, she gives herself a once over and shrugs her shoulders.

“Doesn’t exactly scream garden party, but it’ll have to do.”

At five to twelve, she pulls up outside Dani’s building and hops out of her truck then heads inside and up the stairs. She stands in front of Dani's door for a minute and double-checks her outfit and her hair then lifts a hand to the door and knocks. She hears footsteps approach the door on the other side and then it opens and Dani greets her with a warm smile.

“You didn’t need to come up,” Dani says.

Jamie can’t respond because she’s too awe-stricken by Dani standing in front of her wearing a dress that seems to cling to her body in all of the right places. It’s definitely not something Jamie had seen her in before because she knows she would most definitely remember if she had. Dani’s soft blonde hair falls loosely over her shoulders and Jamie has to fight the urge to reach up and brush some behind her ear. 

“You look so beautiful,” Jamie says and Dani looks down and shyly smiles. 

“Thank you,” she replies and lifts her gaze. Jamie is smiling and she takes a step towards her and puts her hands on either side of her waist.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look prettier in a dress.”

“And this jacket looks amazing on you.”

Jamie smirks and moves in even closer. “Are we going to compliment each other all day or would it be alright if I kissed you?”

Dani closes the gap between them and kisses Jamie first, answering her question with a pair of soft pink lips. Her own hands slide up around Jamie’s ribs and she quietly moans into the kiss as their bodies become flush. When she pulls back, a little of her lipstick is smudged across Jamie’s bottom lip and she wipes it away with her thumb. 

“Guess we should get going,” she says. 

“Or...we could just stay here,” Jamie replies and kisses her again briefly.

“That is very tempting, but I want to see your gardens.”

When they arrive at the estate, the place is already busy with people milling about in perfect suits, beautiful spring dresses, and wine glasses in their hands. It’s a warm day and the wind flutters through the trees as Jamie leads Dani through groups of people towards a bar that has been set up closer to the front of the large house just off the stone path. 

“Afternoon, ladies,” a chipper bartender says. “What would you like to drink?”

“G&T for me please,” Jamie replies and looks at Dani.

“I’ll have the same, thank you.”

He makes them their drinks and they thank him and start to travel along the path that winds its way throughout the back of the estate. Jamie smiles as she watches people get their photos taken in front of the rose garden and her heart fills with pride as she sees a young girl and boy lean down to smell some of the daisies she planted beside a large water fountain.

“This place is beautiful, Jamie,” Dani says. “It really is.”

“Ah, well thanks. I appreciate that,” Jamie replies. “Ya know, most of the people here are friends of Henry, my boss. He works in finance down in London and has some bloody wealthy acquaintances. This place is sort of his summer home and he decided this year that he wanted to have a spring party, so I’ve had to do more than I’ve ever needed to before. His friends love to get away from the city for some peace and quiet when it's in the form of an expensive party with all the free alcohol you could ever want.”

Dani is about to speak when Jamie spots Henry up ahead on the path so she leans into Dani and whispers in her ear. “Speakin’ of Henry.”

He meets her gaze and turns to the people beside him and says something then makes his way over to the . “Ah, Jamie,” he says, coming to a stop in a foot away. “I’m thrilled you came. Everyone seems to be having such a wonderful time. I can’t thank you enough for all of your hard work.”

“No worries, boss. Happy to do it. Love the work so it’s not tough to do.”

Henry turns his focus to Dani and holds out his hand. “You must be Jamie’s plus one. Welcome to our little paradise. I’m Henry Wingrave.”

Dani smiles and accepts his hand, shaking it firmly. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Wingrave. I’m Dani Clayton, Jamie’s...uh..“

“Girlfriend,” Jamie adds proudly without any hesitation. She reaches for Dani’s hand and entwines their fingers and Dani looks at her and smiles. 

She had considered not mentioning anything, considered keeping their relationship to herself but why would she when she had already seen three different men track Dani with their eyes as they walked through the crowd. _In your dreams, mate_ ,” she thought to herself as she noticed the men look away from their own dates just to eye up Dani in her perfect lilac-colored dress. She wonders if Dani knows how beautiful she is, how engaging her presence is, how much she lights up a room when she enters it because everyone else can see it. Jamie knows how lucky she is to be the one who gets to hold Dani’s hand and keep her close, she’s proud to be the one Dani chooses to be with and why would she ever want to hide that?

Dani gets lost in Jamie’s eyes for a moment until Henry pulls her focus back to him with a charming smile and warm presence. There is no judgment on his face, no trouble accepting the relationship. No doubt. Just kindness. 

“How wonderful to meet you, Miss Clayton. Are you enjoying the party so far?”

“Very much, sir. You have such a beautiful home and the grounds are incredible.”

“Ah, well, Jamie here is to thank for all of that. I’m not in the area very often but I know I can always count on her to keep this playing looking nice and it’s why an event like this is able to happen. Will you both be staying for the band?”

“Believe so,” Jamie replies. “Who doesn’t like live music?”

Henry laughs a little bit and nods. “People that I don’t want to associate myself with because I love music, but I will let you two get back to enjoying the party. Miss Clayton, it was a pleasure to meet you. You’re welcome here anytime.”

Jamie salutes Henry and he smiles then heads back in the opposite direction. Dani looks at Jamie and is suddenly overwhelmed by feelings she thinks she’s never felt before. Feelings that make her palms a little sweaty and make her breath catch in her throat. _Is this love? Can it really be love this soon? No, it can’t be. But...what if?_. She squeezes Jamie’s hand and as their eyes meet, she can’t herself as she leans in and kisses her softly. Suddenly, and almost as if on cue, music starts to play from across the grass and it makes the moment more magical than it already was. 

“So, are you going to ask your girlfriend to dance?” Dani asks. She smiles and Jamie leads her off the path and across the grass in the direction of the music. They reach a large dance floor placed on the ground for the party and Jamie takes one last sip of her drink before placing hers and Dani’s on a table off to the side of the dance floor. Other couples begin to fill the dance floor as the band plays a medley of classic, swooning music. Jamie never lets go of Dani’s hand as she pulls her into the middle of the dance floor and steps into her closely. 

“I’m not much of a dancer,” Jamie admits as she slips a hand around Dani’s waist. Dani sinks into her arms and they begin to slowly sway back and forth to the music. 

People gracefully twirl past them as the sun overhead peaks through light grey clouds, shining down on the dance floor, illuminating them as they move. 

“But you’re dancing with me,” Dani says and smiles. “I must be pretty special.”

“You are very special,” Jamie whispers in Dani’s ear. “And the most beautiful woman here today.”

“Why Jamie, are you just complimenting me to try and get me out of this dress?” 

They both laugh and Jamie innocently shrugs her shoulders then outstretches her arm and spins Dani around. She pulls her back in and brings her lips back up to her ear.

“Is it working?” 

The warm breath against her skin makes Dani slightly tremble in Jamie’s arms and she swallows then leans back.

“Yes,” she replies, her voice breathy and laced with lust.

They remain at the party for a couple more hours until the sun slips below the horizon. Jamie introduces Dani to some of the other people that work on the estate and Dani quickly discovers just how respected and admired she is, how much people value what she does and she knows how much it means to Jamie to have that respect and admiration because the shy, bashful look on her face as all of her colleagues speak gives it away. 

On the drive back into town, Jamie turns on the radio and sings along to different songs completely out of tune and with the wrong lyrics. It makes Dani laugh and both the truck and Jamie’s heart fill with the warmth the sound provides and soon she joins in and they make a game out of rewriting lyrics to famous songs in the most ridiculous way.

Jamie walks Dani up to her door and they linger in the hallway for a moment, neither wanting the day to come to an end but neither knowing how to ask for it to continue. 

“I had a really nice time,” Dani says and Jamie reaches out for her hand.

“I did too. Thank you for being my date,” Jamie replies.

“Thank you for asking me.”

It’s a little awkward as the desire for more hangs heavy in the air between them. The tension had only continued to build after their time on the dance floor and now it reaches a peak as Dani’s eyes drift down to Jamie’s lips. Her heart thuds in her chest as the realization of what she wants, and what she’s ready for, hits her hard, and something compels her - maybe it’s her own attraction for Jamie and the want she has that she can’t fight or maybe it’s the way Jamie is looking at her with eyes that seem to say things no words ever could - to be courageous and to ask for what she’s convinced they're both aching for. 

“Do you want to...do you maybe want to come inside and... stay?”

Jamie's eyes widen and she knows what the question really means. She can tell by the way Dani’s lips are parted, the way her chest is heaving somewhat, the way her cheeks are flushed in a way that she finds so fucking endearing.

“Yes,” she answers without hesitation and has to fight to keep her hands to herself as Dani unlocks the door and leads them into the privacy of the flat.

Once the door is locked and separating them from the outside world, Dani can’t fight her feelings anymore and she instantly surges forward, pulling Jamie into a heated kiss. She doesn’t ask for permission as she slips her tongue into Jamie’s mouth and lets a hand wander up to tangle in her brown locks, the other coming to the side of her neck. Jamie whimpers into the kiss and the feeling of it sends a wave of pleasure straight to Dani’s core. 

She walks backward and presses Jamie up against the wall then slips a thigh in between her legs and rocks it upwards. Jamie pulls her lips from hers and moans as Dani opens her eyes to study Jamie’s face. She pushes her knee up again and when the brunette grinds down against her thigh, Dani thinks it might just be the sexiest thing she’s ever seen. 

“Fuck, Dani,” Jamie murmurs as she continues to move against Dani’s thigh and the sensation is overwhelming, addictive. She hadn’t expected the blonde to take charge in such a direct way but god, she loves it and doesn’t want to stand in the way of Dani feeling comfortable enough to lead. 

“I’ve pictured us like this in my head,” Dani says. She leans in and kisses Jamie’s neck as more moans spill from her lips. That sound alone, she thinks, could probably be enough to tip her over the edge but she wants, no, she _needs_ so much more. Jamie opens her eyes and Dani nips at her pulse points then pulls back and they lock eyes.

“You’ve thought of this? More than once?” Dani nods and Jamie smirks. “And what do you do when you think about this?”

Dani pushes her leg up again and Jamie whimpers once more at the feeling. “I think you can use your imagination to figure out what I do when I think about this.”

“Can we move this to your bed to you can show me?”

There’s no need for words as Dani leads them into her bedroom. She flicks on a lamp beside the bed then stalks back over to Jamie and slips her hands under Jamie’s suit jacket, reaches up, and slides it off of her shoulders. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” she says.

“Is that right? Feel free to take ‘em off of me if you want to.”

She doesn’t need to be told twice and Dani shimmies the suit jacket off of Jamie’s arms and then leans in and kisses her again. Their lips move together in the most delicious way and Dani loses herself in the kiss completely until she feels Jamie’s hands scrape across her thighs at the bottom hem of her dress. Those hands slide the dress up and Jamie begins to walk her over to the bed without ever breaking the kiss. 

The back of Dani’s legs hit the bed first and she sits down on it as Jamie stands above her and stares down in complete and total awe. She swears she can see a universe full of feelings in Jamie’s two blue eyes and it's unlike anything she's ever seen before. She doesn't mind that she was just taking the lead because she knows that giving herself over to Jamie is a decision she will never regret. 

“Are you sure about this?” Jamie asks. “We don’t have to...if you don’t want to...if you’re not ready. Really.”

Dani swallows and nods her head as she kicks off her shoes and slides father back on the bed. “I’m sure. I want this. I want you.”

Jamie smiles and slips off her own boots then climbs onto the bed and hover's over Dani. She dips her head down and captures her lips in another kiss and Dani lifts her hands to grip Jamie’s hips to pulls her down so their bodies are flush. Jamie lets one of her hands wander back down to the bottom of Dani’s dress and she sneaks it under the fabric and lets her fingers trace the soft skin of Dani’s thighs. She cautious at first, timid almost with her movements, but then she slips a finger up and a little closer than she intends to and Dani trembles below her.

“Can I?” she asks as she lifts herself up slightly to search Dani’s face for signs of discomfort or fear but instead she finds eagerness and desire staring back at her. Dani bites her lip and nods and Jamie’s fingers slide up more and down across her inner thigh, grazing the edge of her underwear. 

Dani closes her eyes again and Jamie watches her face as she slowly and carefully lets her index finger travel across the fabric of her underwear and when her finger meets dampness, Dani tenses under her touch. Her finger drifts up even more and when it makes its way to where she knows Dani wants it the most, she swirls it around in a circle on the cotton fabric. 

“Oh,” Dani mumbles. “Jamie.”

Jamie continues to move her finger in circles then lifts her hand higher and dips it inside and under the waistband of Dani’s underwear. “Is this okay?” she whispers and Dani reaches down to grip her wrist and moves her hand to exactly where she wants it, answering the question in the boldest way she can.

As Jamie’s finger easily slides through her, touching her in the places she’s fantasized about, touching her in a way that she’s shamelessly touched herself while thinking about the brunette, it’s like fireworks go off on the inside of her eyes and her body feels like it’s on fire.

Never has it ever felt this way before. With Edmund, she was never an active participant and she never felt any kind of satisfaction from it no matter what he did - which was never much. She always thought that it could be so much better, always thought that it _should_ be better and less than ten minutes with Jamie tells her just how right she was. Her whole body feels like it’s floating and the room around her starts to slip away and all it leaves behind is Jamie. Only Jamie.

As Jamie softly and skillfully glides her fingers across the sensitive area between her thighs, it makes her feel more than she’s ever felt in her entire life and if she didn’t feel so damn good, she’d be slightly be embarrassed by the fact that she can already feel a tightening in her abdomen. She can already feel herself tumbling towards the sweet release that she knows she craves and she doesn’t care that it’s happening this fast.

“Don’t stop,” she mutters desperately and Jamie smirks. She quickens her pace, moving two fingers faster in circles around her slick, sensitive bud and ducks her head down to attach lips to Dani’s neck as laboured breathing falls on her eager ears.

Dani starts to move her own hips against Jamie’s hand and Jamie knows she’s close and if she were being honest, she wasn’t all that far off herself. Much like Dani had thought about this moment by herself in the quiet privacy of her flat, Jamie had done the same on more than one occasion but none of it compared to the real thing, none of her fantasies and dreams even come close to the feeling of the Dani’s hot, wanting body beneath her. Dani is a vision and Jamie finds herself grinding down against her thigh, needing some kind of friction of her own.

 _I have to be dreaming_ , she thinks as Dani speeds up the pace of her own hips. _I’m dreaming and this is the best bloody dream I have ever had._

The quiet room fills with the sound of Dani’s moans and Jamie dips her finger down and slips it inside. That’s all it takes for Dani’s whole body to tense. Loud, throaty moans spill from her mouth, and her body trembles and shakes as she rides the waves of pleasure as they roll through her. Jamie pulls her finger out and slides it back up and starts moving it in circles again and doesn’t stop until Dani is pushing at her chest, silently saying she’s had enough.

“J-Jamie…I can’t...fuck,” she mutters. 

Jamie pulls her hand out of Dani’s underwear and follows a path under her dress up along her abdomen to her chest and she cups one of her breasts. Dani arches her body up into the touch and blinks open her eyes to meet Jamie’s thoughtful and tender gaze.

“Hi,” she says.

Dani doesn't know if she wants to laugh or cry and she lifts her hands to cover her face, suddenly feeling very shy about everything that just happened. It's all a little overwhelming in the most incredible way and her heart hammers in her chest as she works through a myriad of emotions and thoughts. _So this is what it's supposed to be like_ and _a woman's hands on my body this way feels like a religious experience and I don't believe in any one God, but I believe in this_ and _Jamie. How can she make me feel a million different things at once and make me want even more?_

Jamie lightly squeezes her breast again, pulling her from her thoughts and causing her to bite her hand to keep another soft moan from slipping out. She pulls her hand away and moves off Dani's body to lay beside her on the bed and reaches up and uncovers her face.

“You alright?” she asks. Jamie can sense that Dani's mind is working in overdrive, she knows that what just happened was new for her so she's gentle with her words and cautious with her heart.

Dani takes a deep breath and her eyes focus up at the ceiling and smiles. “I am _so_ much more than alright. I’ve...well I've never...”

Jamie raises her eyebrows and grins. “You’ve never had an orgasm?”

Dani turns onto her side and shakes her head, a slight grin on her face. “I have on my own of course but no one else has ever made me...you know...not like that, just you.” She inches closer to Jamie and brushes some hair from her forehead.

“Was it good? You can tell me if it wasn’t, promise I won’t be upset.”

“Jamie, what do you think? It was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

“That sounds like a challenge to me, Dani,” Jamie replies and leans in so their lips are inches apart. “Because I bet I can do a much, much better job.” 

She kisses her and then Dani pushes her onto her back and straddles her. She grabs the bottom hem of her dress and pulls it up over her shoulders and tosses it aside in a flash of movement that takes Jamie a little by surprise. Jamie’s eyes, hungry and wide, travel the expanse of the now exposed pale, bare skin and the sight of Dani nearly naked sitting with a thigh on either side of her waist very quickly reminds her of the ache between her own legs.

When Dani reaches behind her back and unclips her bra and lets the straps slip down her shoulders, Jamie thinks she might actually combust. 

“Christ, Dani,” she says and her mouth goes dry as the bra is removed completely and tossed aside. 

“I think you should take all of this off now,” Dani says, pointing to Jamie’s outfit. She moves off her waist and Jamie quickly gets off the bed and pulls her blouse over her head then pops the button of her jeans, pulls the zipper down, and takes them off, kicking them under the bed. She then removes own bra and Dani watches her carefully as the garment falls to the ground and then she pulls her back onto the bed. Laughter floats around them with ease as they fall into each other and when Dani’s bare chest touches Jamie’s, they both shiver at the contact. 

Dani lays her head against Jamie’s chest and the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat is calming. “Is it always this easy?” she asks as Jamie strokes her back. 

“Hasn’t been for me but I’ve never been in a relationship that I actually cared about.”

“Neither have I.” 

Dani brushes their noses together then kisses Jamie. It’s deep and passionate and Jamie closes her legs together in search of any friction she can find as Dani's fingers start to drift across her collarbone.

Dani can feel Jamie start to squirm below her and she pulls her lips away and sits up slightly and starts to kiss down her neck and across her chest. When she gets to her breasts she blows warm air around each of her pert nipples and languidly sucks and laps at them and Jamie closes her eyes and parts her lips, letting out little whimpers with every swipe of Dani’s tongue. 

She continues to leave a trail of open-mouthed kisses along Jamie’s stomach and shimmies down the bed so her head is level with Jamie’s waist. She isn’t nervous about what she wants to do, she knows she wants to make Jamie feel just as good as she had felt minutes ago and the possibility of that happening is thrilling, intoxicating, so she isn't nervous. But she is doubtful. Doubtful that she'll be any good at what she wants to try but she kisses Jamie right above the elastic of her underwear anyway and waits for a reaction. 

Jamie opens her eyes and sits up on her elbows, glancing down at Dani, now settled so perfectly between her legs. The image of her, naked and glowing between her thighs is like a piece of fine art and she wants to selfishly hold on to it forever but she realizes as Dani gazes up at her what she might want to do and she's surprised. Surprised, and a little anxious because she knows if that were to happen...she'd barely last five minutes before collapsing back against the mattress but it's not familiar territory for Dani and she doesn't want her to feel pressured. She would be okay if Dani wasn’t ready to do anything else than what they’d already done.

“Dani. You don’t have to...really, you don’t need to if - “

“I know I don’t have to. I want to. But I’ve never...so it might not be good.”

Jamie softens her gaze and she smiles. “I can show you what to do.”

There’s something so innocently sexual about the statement and it makes Dani’s head spin a little bit. All of it makes her feel a bit drunk but in the best way. Drunk on Jamie is better than any kind of drunk she’s ever been before and she would gladly stay this way forever if she could.

“You’ll teach me?”

Sleep doesn’t mean much that night as they spend their time memorizing each other’s bodies, memorizing the ebbs and flows, the way they each tumble towards release and fall over the edge. Jamie becomes addicted to the way Dani moves her own hips against her and Dani learns that Jamie kissing the inside of her thighs is enough to unravel her in every single way.

They do their best to commit every second, every moment, every touch to memory because who needs sleep when you’re busy falling in love?


	8. She Feels Like Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of the wonderful comments and kudos on the last chapter! I'm so happy that people enjoy this story enough to stick with it and to engage with me in the comment section. I love it! Also, I've now passed 50k words with this story and I can't believe I've written so much.
> 
> Please enjoy this new chapter, have a lovely weekend, and happy reading! x

Rain falls against the small window in Dani’s bedroom and she stirs in her sleep, snuggling in closer to the warm body beside her. Her arm is draped across Jamie’s waist and she holds her tighter, not wanting to let go and pull herself from the best sleep she’s ever had in her life. Her nose brushes against soft skin and she inhales the sweet scent of all things Jamie. A thin sheet barely covers their naked bodies - skin on skin, legs tangled, slotted into one another in the most divine way as though it was always meant to be this way. Her eyes flutter open and without even thinking she presses her lips to Jamie’s shoulder once then makes a trail of soft kisses along her shoulder towards the back of her neck. 

It’s quiet, the only sound in the room being rain landing against the glass and the content, peaceful breathing of both women. _She feels like home,_ Dani thinks as she kisses Jamie’s soft skin again. She takes a moment to really sink into the sensation of Jamie’s skin against her own, the feeling of another woman’s body pressing back into her, how _natural_ it all seems. Her eyes nearly fill with tears at the realization that she had spent her whole life being afraid to live authentically, afraid to pull herself from the suffocation of a reality that she didn’t want to exist in but she had done it and this feeling, this peace, was worth all of it. Lying in her bed with Jamie sleeping in her arms is like finally being able to breathe without weight on her chest and it was a feeling unlike any other. 

The best writers in history had done their best to distill this feeling down into words scrawled across a page. Stories that people have talked about for years, shaped their lives around. Phrases that have been studied and dissected, compared and contrasted but none of it, not one damn word, comes close to what it actually feels like and now Dani understands why people try so hard to get it down on paper because everyone should know what it's like in some way. 

_You are better than any story because you’re here and I can feel you, touch you, taste you...love you even,_ Dani thinks. 

“You’re starin’...” Jamie mumbles. She smiles and swiftly turns over in Dani’s arms. When their eyes meet she can see, even in the early morning light of the gloomy day, that Dani’s are shining and threatening tears. She lifts a hand to her face and cups her cheek. “Hey, hey now. You alright?”

Dani swallows and shakily nods her head but a single tear slips out and rolls down her face. “Sorry,” she whispers and quickly wipes it away. “It’s a happy tear, I promise.”

“And why are we cryin’ happy tears this early in the morning?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Dani, it’s not. Talk to me. What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

“I just really didn’t think I'd ever get to feel this way,” Dani admits. Her voice is so quiet and small and Jamie can practically feel her vulnerability. She can see it on her face, hiding in the slight curl of her lips, the blue of her eyes. “Last night was...like a dream. I-I thought...I thought it was a dream but then I woke up and you were still here.”

“That’s right. still here, don’t plan on going anywhere either. You’d have to shove me out of this bed and tell me to bugger off to get me to leave and even then I wouldn’t.”

Dani smiles and Jamie swipes her thumbs under her eyes, wiping away any stray tears that risk slipping down her cheeks even more. 

“I like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite a new thing,” Dani says and the words sink into Jamie, they find a home within her as her finger continues to stroke Dani’s cheek. 

“E.E Cummings wrote that, it's from one of his poems that I really love,” Dani adds as she turns her cheek into Jamie’s touch, closing her eyes. “I’ve always thought it was beautiful but I never thought I’d get to live in those words the way it seemed people should. Never thought I’d get to feel them. Not until you.”

“You, Dani Clayton, are extraordinary and I consider myself lucky to be here in this bed with you. Lucky to just be in this world with you. E.E Cummings had the right idea,” Jamie says and Dani’s eyes flutter open 

It’s silent for a moment as she admires Jamie’s face. The lines around her mouth, evidence of a smile even when there isn’t one, the slight grey tint in her eyes - striking and able to conceal so much, her messy hair, even wilder than normal from sleep. She brings her own hand up and pushes some curls from Jamie’s forehead and takes a brave, deep breath, needing the air and the confidence. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

Jamie leans into Dani with a tender smile. She kisses her softly then pulls back and lays her head down against the pillow, watching Dani with a newfound curiosity. “Open book. Go for it.”

“Was I...was I good? Last night, was it really okay? You didn’t fake anything? Because I know that sometimes people...pretend.”

Dani’s lips part in anticipation as the wheels turn in Jamie’s head. It’s an easy question to answer but Jamie’s mind floods with the memories of the events that kept them up into the early morning. Every touch, each swipe of an eager tongue, gentle fingers grazing soft pale skin, all of the quiet and then not so quiet moans that filled the room. No one, _not one single person_ had ever made her feel the way Dani had. The way Dani _does_. As though every single moment matters even more than the one before, as though having all of her would still never be enough. As her mind floods with those thoughts, she feels a very familiar sensation between her legs and is slightly embarrassed by just how much Dani makes her feel but a slight shift in the bed reminds her that the woman who makes her feel this way is waiting for an answer, hopeful and as beautiful as ever.

“Last night was amazing, Dani,” she says. “You’re amazing”

“You mean it?”

“You made it very hard to believe that you’ve never been with a woman before.”

“I’m a quick learner,” Dani replies, her voice just above a whisper, and with a surge of boldness, she slides a hand out across Jamie’s abdomen, grinning slightly as she feels abdominal muscles twitch beneath her fingers. “I remember exactly what to do. It’s a lot like when I touch myself, you said. Start slow, find a gentle rhythm, and then feel the body, watch, listen to the breath. You’re a very good teacher, Jamie.”

Jamie swallows, keeping her eyes on Dani as a hand glides at a painfully slow pace down towards her thighs and when it reaches its final destination, the wet heat between her legs, she closes her eyes and bucks her hips into Dani’s hand. 

“Seems like someone else has been remembering what I did,” Dani says as her fingers easily glide through Jamie’s folds then circle where she wants to be touched the most. She moves in closer to Jamie so their lips are just inches apart and her index finger finds an easy rhythm, moving languidly and Jamie’s breath falls from her lips raggedly as eager hips fight for more friction, needing it, moving to match Dani’s fingers. 

“Does this feel good?”

All Jamie can do is nod her head and Dani’s lips curl up into a proud, lustful grin. She closes the very small gap between them by pressing her lips to Jamie’s and swipes her tongue along a bottom lip. Jamie parts her lips to allow the kiss to deepen and as it does, Dani speeds up the pace of her fingers, and then Jamie whimpers into her mouth.

She pulls her lips from Jamie’s and kisses across her jaw and down her neck, continuing to work her hand between Jamie’s legs. 

“Dani...fuck, don’t stop,” Jamie mutters. She brings her own hand up to a bare breast, the sheet that barely covered them now completely slipped to the side, and palms it, rolling her nipple between her fingers. Dani sucks on the spot just below her ear and Jamie moans and squirms beneath her touch.

It’s a sight to behold, Jamie so exposed at the mercy of Dani’s eagerness to please, her eagerness to explore and guide Jamie along towards the crest of a wave she had ridden multiple times only hours ago. Jamie touched herself this way often but she had never made herself feel the way Dani is making her feel, as though she’s out of her own body entirely as a surprisingly skilled hand pushes her towards that addicting point of sweet release.

“Are you close?” Dani whispers, her hot breath falling against Jamie’s skin in a way that Jamie knows has never been felt by another soul, in a way meant for her and her alone. 

“Yea...so close...please,” Jamie murmurs, barely able to focus on her words as the feeling of Dani’s hand between her legs becomes all-consuming. 

There’s a level of intimacy between them at this moment that neither has ever experienced. A closeness, a comfort that somehow they know could only be felt with each other and it flows between them in the most natural, perfect way.

Jamie’s entire body begins to slightly tremble and her back arches up, hand squeezing her breast as Dani speeds up her fingers. Her breathing is heavy and then she shuts her legs together, trapping Dani’s hand between them as her orgasm hits her with force, waves of pleasure rippling through her. Dani’s eyes flick up to her face as her mouth opens and a cry of pleasure slips out as her body slumps back against the mattress, absolutely sated and completely spent. 

Dani removes her hand from between Jamie’s thighs, unrushed and in no hurry, then tangles their legs together. She rests her head in the space between her neck and shoulder and drapes an arm over her waist, pulling her close. The rain outside begins to fall harder and the sound of it hitting the window gets louder, echoing throughout the room but Dani listens carefully to the sound of Jamie’s heartbeat and it fills her with a sense of belonging, as though she exists somewhere between each beat.

There is something so special about existing in the after, in the quiet that follows the delicious release of tension and Dani was learning just how much she loves that moment, how much she loves the feeling of Jamie so close beside her trying to catch her breath, hips still twitching slightly, body sensitive to each and every barely-there touch. What Dani loves the most though is that she is the one to bring Jamie this pleasure, not a woman from a pub whose name and face will disappear from memory completely, not a person that didn’t matter and wouldn’t leave a mark on her life, but _her_. She knows that it means a hell of a lot more than either of them is ready to admit yet, not to each other at least. 

“Christ, that sure is one way to start the day,” Jamie says once all of the air returns to her lungs. She doesn’t open her eyes, content to keep them closed as she feels Dani settle against her. 

Dani smiles and lazily drags her fingers across Jamie’s side. “I just wanted to say good morning.”

“And what a good morning it is. Shouldn’t you be getting up to head to the shop soon?”

“I have the day off.”

Jamie opens her eyes now and glances down at Dani who is half smiling, her blonde hair pooling around her and across Jamie’s chest. 

“Albert gave me the day, said I might need it after the party.”

“He knew you were going to the party?”

“Mmhmm,” Dani mumbles against Jamie’s skin. “Albert knows a lot of things, he knew you and I were together. Said he knew it would happen before we did.”

“Blimey.” Jamie drops her head back down and reaches her arm up and around Dani’s shoulder. She laughs a little to herself then runs her hand up and down Dani’s upper arm. “Albert, always full of bloody surprises.”

“So we can stay here just like this.”

Jamie smiles and kisses Dani’s head. It’s a perfect moment, tangled together, warm in the quiet safety and comfort of the bed. It would be so easy to drift back to sleep this way, but Jamie couldn’t simply fall asleep again after what Dani had just done. Her own mind wouldn’t be able to quell the thoughts of doing similar things to Dani so she quickly sits up then rolls Dani onto her back and straddles her hips. It’s swift and Dani doesn’t see it coming. 

“Oh, wow,” she says with a gentle laugh as Jamie pins her wrists down beside her.

“Wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t get to say good morning to you too,” Jamie replies, smiling as she leans down and kisses Dani’s forehead, both of her cheeks, her nose, each press of her lips so featherlight and tender. Her lips finally reach Dani’s and it’s a delicately soft kiss, one with so much promise, one that says _I’ve never kissed anyone else this way_.

When Jamie pulls away and leans back up, Dani’s cheeks are flushed and she opens her eyes, a bashful smile on her face.

“I love your mouth,” Jamie admits without an ounce of shame in her voice.

“I remember you saying that to me last night. Once when I kissed you and once when my face was between your legs.”

“Meant every word of that, ya know. That mouth of yours is brilliant,” Jamie says as she moves farther down Dani’s body, settling between her thighs. It’s a place she’s come to love since discovering all of the things that drive Dani wild the night before...and well into the morning. Dani, Jamie realized, was very easy to please, and dragging it out made it so much better, dragging it out made her curse and beg and it was one of the sexiest things Jamie had ever witnessed. 

She tries not to think about the man who may have gotten to experience this side of her before she did, tries to ignore the jealousy she feels because of it but it’s easy for those thoughts to quickly fade when Dani is panting and clinging to every touch, reaching for her hands and searching for her mouth, gripping the sheets and coming undone in ways she never has before. In ways she never even knew she could. 

She softly drags her fingers up and down every inch of soft skin she can find and Dani gazes down at her with fascination and desire. She kisses her way up and along Dani’s inner thigh, smiling into each kiss as Dani raises her hips, chasing contact. Just before Jamie gets to where Dani is aching for her to be, she stops and lets out a long huff of warm breath and Dani’s head falls back against the mattress.

“Good morning,” Jamie says, dipping her head down and as she does, her name tumbles from Dani’s lips in a way that sounds like heaven.

___________

“Albert, where did you put the box of those used books that were given to us last week? I want to catalogue them for the inventory today.”

Albert pokes his head out from the room behind the stairs as Dani flips through a large logbook of titles. “Think they’re tucked away in the back corner behind the last stack, love.”

Dani glances up at him with a bright smile. “Thank you, I figured that could be my task for the afternoon since the rain won’t let up. Don’t see much traffic in here today. How much more rain can we get?”

He comes out of the room with two cups of tea in his hands and holds one out to Dani as he approaches her behind the counter. “Springtime in England is lovely, isn’t it? All the more reason for a nice cup of tea.”

“Tea is exactly what we need, a wonderful idea.” They each take a sip and then Dani sets her cup down on the counter and flips to another page in the book. “You sold that first edition? I can’t believe I missed that.”

“Oh, right. The chap had been searchin’ for a copy for quite some time it seems and was thrilled to come across it the day he stopped by. Get a few of those types in here every now and then, collectors looking to buy and sell. Used to be one of ‘em myself when I was a younger, much more handsome man.”

Dani puts her hand on his arm and her gaze softens. “You are still very handsome.”

The bell above the door chimes and Jamie rushes in, completely drenched and looking like she was nearly swept away in a flood. 

“Did ya swim here, love?” Albert asks, his eyebrows raised, confusion and concern etched on his face. 

“Bloody truck wouldn’t start and I really didn’t think it was raining all that much at first but, as it turns out, it’s chucking it down and I was already three blocks from my flat so I just kept walkin’.”

Jamie tears her jacket off and hangs it on a coat hook by the door and drops of water fall from it and pool in a puddle on the ground. She shakes her head in a failed attempt to dry some of her hair and hugs herself to lessen the chill she now feels. 

“Come on,” Dani says. “I have a sweater in my backpack and this way you can at least get out of that wet shirt.”

She leads Jamie into the room behind the stairs and shuts the door behind them for a little privacy while Jamie changes her shirt but before she can even reach for her sweater, Jamie takes her by the hand and leans her back against the wall, kissing her swiftly. She slips a hand around the back of her neck, the other around her waist, and lets herself disappear into Dani for a moment. 

“Sorry,” Jamie says when she pulls her lips away from Dani’s. “Couldn’t help myself, may have gotten you a wee bit wet.”

It was a sensation that Dani hadn’t yet gotten used to, Jamie kissing her just because she can. No more nerves, no more uncertainty, just warm lips against her own, taking her by surprise and making her weak in the knees. Even now, after having spent hours with those lips mapping her skin just two days before, she still feels butterflies and she never wants to lose that feeling. 

“You’re not sorry at all,” she replies with a smirk then pushes away from the wall and slips around Jamie to pull the sweater from her bag. “Not even a little bit sorry.”

“Nah,” Jamie says with a shrug of her shoulders. “Not sorry in the slightest. I reckon I’d be totally happy to just stay in this little room with you for the rest of the day.”

“Here, put this on.” Dani holds her knit sweater out to Jamie and the lavender coloured wool piece of clothing is a vast contrast to the dark jeans and black shirt she’s wearing, looking even darker because of the water. 

“Ah...love the thought and I know ya mean well, but it’s not really my colour.”

“Jamie, look at yourself. You’re drenched and you’ll catch a cold if you stay in these damp clothes.”

Her eyes drift down and she takes in her appearance and sighs, knowing she’s fighting a losing battle. She bunches up the bottom hem of her shirt in her hands and rings water out of it, watching as it all drips to the ground by her boots. She looks at the sweater in Dani’s outstretched hand and it looks warm. She can’t deny that it looks almost invitingly warm and Dani was right, a cold from the rain was starting to settle in her bones, giving a slight chill she can’t shake off, and getting sick didn’t sound great at all. She’d seen the sweater on Dani’s small frame before - the soft pastel shade of purple looking beautiful against her skin, it wouldn’t be the worst thing if she wore it, if she carried around another piece of Dani for a little while. 

“Fine. I’ll wear the purple jumper but only because I like how it looks on you.”

Jamie pulls her wet shirt up and over her head and it’s impossible for Dani’s eyes to ignore the fresh bare skin, toned stomach now exposed, the definition of muscles earned from physical labour and years of work in the garden on display, and she bites her lip as Jamie takes the sweater from her hands and slips it on. 

_The things I want to do to her right now…_ , Dani thinks. 

Jamie pulls her hair out from inside of the collar and her damp curls hang limply around her face. She puts her hands on her hips and raises her eyebrows. “How do I look?” 

“Hmm? What?” 

Dani does a little shake of her head and pulls herself back to the present moment and away from her not so innocent thoughts of Jamie and her very distracting muscles. 

“The jumper. How does it look?”

“Oh, right. You look very pretty,” Dani replies and takes a step towards her. She slips her arms around her neck and smiles. “I like how you look in my clothes.”

“Mmm, is that so?” Jamie replies and brushes their noses together. 

There’s a sudden knock on the door and it startles both of them enough to jump back from one another. 

“Uh, Dani, don’t mean to interrupt whatever you two might be doing in there but a coupla customers have popped in while you’ve been...occupied...and I could use some help,” Albert says, his voice slightly muffled through the thick wooden door. 

“Coming right out,” Dani answers, and she and Jamie both laugh. 

When the door opens, Albert glances in their direction as they exit the room and he notices the purple jumper now on Jamie’s body. He rolls his eyes with a smile and refocuses on the patron in front of him needing help with a book. 

“Feel like sticking around a while?” Dani asks Jamie as the front door opens again and another person comes inside to escape the rain.

“Well if you think I’m goin’ back out there, you’re havin’ a laugh. Plants need water anyway and I bet I could even make a few sales while I’m here. What do you think, 30...40 quid?” She shoots Dani a wink then approaches a woman by the door to offer her assistance. 

Dani grins and goes about helping her own customer and suddenly the shop feels much more alive, a respite from the dark wet world beyond its borders. A warm, inviting place where a brighter world could be found between the pages of the books that graced their shelves.

When the phone rings that afternoon, Jamie answers it and calls out for Dani when the person on the other end of the line asks for her, in the poshest London accent she’s ever heard, by name. 

“Someone from a literacy agency down in London,” Jamie whispers as Dani takes the receiver from her. 

“This is Dani Clayton,” she says.

“Ah, Miss Clayton. So nice to be speaking with you again. I’m calling with some final information for you that should be helpful in the preparation for your book event. We’ve locked in the 3rd of June for the reading and the signing and we’re able to give you about three to four hours of time that day before needing to head on our way, does that work for you?”

Dani quickly turns around and flips through a calendar hanging on the wall behind her. Her eyes land on the date and she nods to herself in agreement. “June 3rd is perfect.”

“Wonderful. We’re thinking an early afternoon event would be the most ideal timing for us and are hopeful that it works for you as well.”

“Anything works. We’re easy. We can work around you.”

“Oh, well, that’s great. I’ll have my assistant reach out again with some finalized timing and then you’re able to start advertising the event. We look forward to coming to your shop on June 3rd!”

The call ends and Dani picks up a marker from a cup full of pens sitting beside the cash register and circles the date on the calendar. 

“June 3rd,” she says excitedly as she turns around and looks at Jamie and Albert. They’re standing by the window, chatting about the weather and the Shakespeare books organized neatly on the nearby shelves while Jamie waters one of the plants. They both turn and look at her expectantly, the big grin on her face saying so much. 

“Albert! June 3rd! That's officially when we’re having our author event! Now we just need to make a poster,” Dani says then shakes her head and twirls around to study the calendar once more. “No...we need to make a lot of posters.”

“Looks like I’ve got some arts and crafts in my future,” Jamie says to Albert under her breath.

“You know, June 3rd is nearly the anniversary of when I opened this shop,” he replies. 

“Is it now? Suppose it was meant to be.”

Albert smiles and looks around his beloved store. His home. His _heart_. His eyes land on Dani as she hurriedly scribbles down notes onto a piece of scrap paper, an old invoice of some kind, and then he turns to Jamie and puts a hand on her shoulder and gives it a comforting squeeze. Time was sneaking up on him in ways he isn't ready to accept but he knows there are two people in his life now that he can count on and trust to be there for him as they both are now.

“Quite right, Jamie dear. Meant to be indeed.”

___________

Jamie parks her truck around the corner from The Oak Pub and hops out of it. She pulls on her brown jacket and checks her hair in the side mirror. 

_What a fucking day,_ she thinks as she takes a deep breath and lets all the air out in a long puff. She rounds the building and pushes the heavy wooden door open and steps into a much different world than the one outside.

It’s loud, smokey, and filled with people. Friday night at the only pub for miles - what else would you expect? 

She spots Dani sitting on a stool by the bar and the stress of her day falls off her shoulders almost instantly. The blonde is engaged in an animated conversation with the bartender, her hair tucked away neatly in a braid and her head falls back as she laughs. The sound floats over to Jamie and fills her heart in ways she’s never needed more than she does right now. She smiles and approaches Dani, slipping an arm around her waist as she comes to stand beside her. 

“Hey you,” Dani says warmly.

Jamie leans into her and brings her lips to the shell of her ear. “Missed you,” she says and Dani leans against her side, smiling.

“I’ve just been chatting with Stephen here about football. English football. American football is very, very different. Apparently, there is a very important game this weekend.”

Jamie knew Stephen well and he was a good man, funny and kind natured. You get to know the bartenders quite well when you live above the pub and oftentimes it meant her last call was later than others as they would sit and chat, not quite friends but more than acquaintances who came from a similar place in the country - the type of thing that binds people together. 

“Ah, yeah, Leeds is playin’ Man United. A bunch of lads at the estate were talking about it today. Sounds like they’ve all got a few week's worths of wages resting on the outcome.”

“United is in it for one this season, mate,” Stephen the bartender. “Leeds doesn’t stand a chance, not when the game is at Old Trafford.”

Dani shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head, feeling completely out of her element and far from her own culture but Stephen, the kind man she had been talking to for over five minutes before Jamie showed up, was good conversation and a friendly face who seemed eager to discuss something she wasn’t familiar with but listened anyway and nodded along as he excitedly spoke.

“I have no idea what that means but...I hope the team you like wins!”

“I like her, Jamie,” Stephen says. “Bit too American in my opinion but I like her.”

They all laugh and Stephen is called away by another person down the other end of the bar and Jamie sits on a stool beside Dani and puts a hand on her thigh. 

“How was your day?” she asks.

“It was good. Not as busy as I’d have wanted it to be but we’re doing the best we can over there. How was yours?”

“Shite,” Jamie replies as she picks up a pint glass sitting in front of Dani and takes a swig then sets the glass back down. “Sorry, I needed that.”

“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” Dani says as she turns more of her body towards Jamie. “Do you want to stay? Because we can go, we can just head back to my place or up to yours and just relax or...maybe not relax. Whatever you want to do is what I want to do.”

“I want to stay, and you deserve to get to have a drink and enjoy the pub. I’m just going to dip upstairs and change and then I’ll be back.”

"I'll be waiting," Dani says with a nod and Jamie stands, gives her a quick peck on the forehead then walks to the door beside the bar top and disappears through it. Dani picks up her drink and takes a sip and scans the bar, thinking about how different this place is from any bar she had ever been to back home - like there are stories written into the walls and scrawled across the top of the bar, melded into the booths and drawn across the floor. It was one of her favourite things about England, the history running so deeply everywhere you turned, the life it all had. 

A man sitting with a group of other men at a table across the bar catches her eye and it would have been easy to miss had he not been staring right at her, watching her, studying her almost. She quickly turns away and focuses on her drink, hoping, wishing, for Stephen to come back to her with more chat about football but he doesn’t and a moment later, someone sits beside her at the bar and she doesn’t have to look to know it isn’t Jamie.

“Hey there,” a man says. Dani ignores him and sips her beer. “Looks like you’re nearly done that. Let me buy you another.”

“No thank you, I’m fine.”

“Aww, come on. Don’t hurt my feelings like that. It’s just a drink, yeah? Fit thing like you sitting here on your own without a new drink is a crime.”

Dani turns to look beside her now and the man from across the bar is licking his lips and leaning forward towards her in a way that says _I'm in charge of what's happening right now. You have no say_. He’s tall with dark hair and dark eyes and his presence is looming and intimidating. 

“I said no thank you.”

The man lifts his hand and motions to one of the other bartenders. “Two more pints, yeah? One for me and one for the lady.”

Dani knows the interaction is not headed in the direction she wants it to and she stands from her bar stool but the man puts his hand on her shoulder and pushes her back down with enough force to make her wince. She could hold her own, never afraid to tell someone no and stand her ground, never afraid to push away unwanted advances but there was something about this stranger that put a bad taste in her mouth. She felt unsettled and completely overwhelmed.

“Just bought you a drink, love. Would be rude of you to walk away now.”

“I-I...I didn’t want it. I said no thank you." 

“You just thought you didn’t want it but I know you did. Women like you always want it even when they say no.”

He slides his hand onto her thigh and his fingers dip down between her legs, edging towards the place no one should ever be without consent and as he does, Jamie walks through the door beside the bar to join Dani again. She notices a man sitting much too closely to Dani her and can see how tense she looks, how curled into herself she is and the sight makes her blood boil. 

“Oy, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

 _Jamie. Of course, it’s Jamie. Always there when she needs to be,_ Dani thinks and she drops her shoulders slightly, letting some of her fear and tension slip away. 

Her accent is thicker than normal and Dani hears her before she sees her. It’s a welcome relief but the man doesn’t remove his hand until Dani jerks away from him. 

“Don’t touch her. What makes you think you can just touch someone like that when they don’t want you to?” 

Jamie puts a comforting hand on the small of Dani’s back and the man just laughs and rolls his eyes.

“Coupla pretty little girls, aren’t ya? I was hoping for just her but two sounds even better.”

“You better piss off and watch your mouth, mate.” 

He gets up off the stool, towering over both of them, and Dani inches closer to Jamie, turning her head into her chest. Jamie though, Jamie doesn’t feel even a single ounce of fear and she already knows how things are going to end. She had made her choice before she even said a single word. 

“Bet you think you’re really brave, huh? Coming over here like a big man, wanting to protect her. I wasn’t going to hurt her, I just thought we could have some fun. That’s what they say, don’t they? Blondes have more fun? And this one...well, she looks like a lot of fun and you’re just a tiny thing, can’t do anything but walk away.”

Jamie smirks and pulls her hand from Dani’s back and steps into the man’s personal space. She looks up at him and grits her teeth. “See, the thing is, I’m a lot stronger than people think and men like you, pieces of absolute rubbish, just never believe it.”

He laughs and shakes his head in disbelief. “I could break you in half with just a finger.”

“Ah, but you wouldn’t mate, because you’d never hit a lady, right?”

She turns on her heels as though she’s going to walk away but instead she winds up her arm and spins back, landing a punch square across his jaw, and then lifts a knee, slamming it up into his groin with every bit of force she can muster. He bends over in shock and pain and other people in the bar go silent as he groans.

“Oh my god, Jamie,” Dani says, bringing her hands up to cover her mouth in shock. 

Jamie kneels so her eyes are level with him and she tilts her head. 

“But nothing is stopping me from hitting a twat like you and if I see you anywhere near her again, or near any woman in here, I won’t think twice about a repeat. Now sod off and go back to your mates over there so they can all joke about how you were hit by a pretty little girl.”

She stands and scowls at him once more before reaching for Dani’s hand to pull her away from the bar towards the door to the stairs. When they make it into the stairwell, Jamie’s anger immediately shifts to concern and she cups Dani’s face and looks her over. 

“Are you alright? He didn’t hurt you, did he? Christ, Dani, I’m so sorry I left you. It makes me bloody sick to think that men feel entitled enough to just put their hands on anything they want like they own it.”

Dani is a little stunned by everything that had just happened and she just shakes her head and stands beside the wall as Jamie holds her face in her hands. No one had ever defended her that way, not even Edmund. There had been times in bars when men would hit on her and Edmund would appear and just laugh it off, saying, of course, she’d be hit on because of how beautiful she was but he’d never do anything to stop it from happening. 

The look in Jamie’s eyes as she gently cups her face is a look she never saw in Edmunds's eyes, or anyone’s eyes when they looked at her. They’re expressive in the most incredible way and there’s a sincerity in them that Dani knows, she somehow feels, hasn’t existed in those eyes for anyone else before her. Jamie took her for all that she was, accepted where she had come from and how she ended up where she is now and that’s all you can of someone, really. Shakespeare, in all of his wise ways, suddenly makes his words known in her mind as she loses herself in the depth of the blue eyes that are studying her. 

_For she had eyes and chose me._

“I’m okay,” Dani says and Jamie lets out a sigh of relief and drops her hands from her face and wraps them around her to pull her into a hug. 

“I haven’t done that in a long time,” Jamie says quietly. 

“Did you used to punch a lot of people?”

“I used to do a lot of things that I’m not proud of but I had a bad day and he was an ass and no one ever deserves to be treated the way you were.”

Dani pulls back from Jamie’s embrace and reaches for her hand. She runs a finger cautiously along her red, already bruising skin and lifts it to her lips. Jamie watches her as she kisses her knuckles and swears that there has never been a more tender moment in her whole life. What she feels for Dani in the dim stairwell beyond the noise and grime of the old bar is something she can’t possibly put into words. She’s felt that way more than once with Dani now and she doesn’t know what to do with these feelings except hold onto them as tightly as she can. 

“Dani,” she whispers and Dani’s eyes flick up to hers. “Thank you.”

“For what?” 

“For choosing to be with someone like me. For being here.”

The thing is though, she didn’t choose her. You don’t choose the people who burrow their way into your heart, into your soul. It just happens and you either fight it or you embrace it because people who make you feel alive, the kind who make you feel like you matter in the world, ones who make your whole body feel warm and safe in the cold raging war that life could sometimes be, you keep those people close and do your best to hold on with all you’ve got. 

“There is nowhere else I would rather be,” Dani says. “Except maybe upstairs getting some ice on this hand. All of that by the way, that display in there? Very sexy.” 

Jamie grins and drops her head to Dani’s shoulder, laughing a little as she does. Her hand starts to throb but she pushes aside the pain, something she learned how to do a long time ago, something she had to teach herself to do when she was far too young to be feeling that kind of pain. 

“You planning on telling me all about why you had a bad day at work?” Dani asks.

“There’s also something else I need to tell you...about work.” Jamie steps back from Dani and runs her non-injured hand through her hair and starts to pace. “I uh...I got some money. Henry he...well, he gave me a bonus.”

“How much of a bonus?”

Jamie stops and looks at Dani. She takes a deep breath and smiles. “A big, big bonus.”

___________

“Jamie this is...wow. He just gave you a cheque with this much money, no strings attached?”

“No strings. All mine.”

Jamie is sitting on her small couch with a bag of ice on her knuckles as Dani runs her fingers across the cheque in her hands. She still finds it hard to believe herself and Dani’s shock and awe is something she expected because she still felt the exact same way. 

“He said I’d earned it, deserved to be rewarded for all of my hard work over the past couple of months.”

“But this is enough to…”

“I know,” Jamie says, interrupting her. “It’s enough to do a lot of things and if this were a few years ago who knows what I’d go and waste that much money on but I’m different now. Smarter. Not an ignorant, naive kid to be taken advantage of.”

There are deeper roots to what Jamie is saying, her words laced with a hint of anger. Roots that Dani hasn’t dug down to yet and she’s curious to know what lies beneath them, curious to dive into Jamie’s past but knows when the time is right, she’ll learn everything. She sits beside Jamie on the couch and sets the cheque down in front of them on the coffee table. 

“So what do you want to do with the money?” she asks.

“It’s a bit of a pipe dream,” Jamie replies. She leans back against the couch and closes her eyes, imagining it all in her head. Flowers and potted plants, beautiful bouquets and lush vines hanging down off of shelves, so much colour and life and growth to nurture and take care of. 

“It doesn’t have to be a dream if it’s something you really want one day.” 

_And Dani,_ Jamie thinks. She’s there too. Of course, she’s there. Nothing would feel right, nothing would _look_ right without her. Not anymore. 

Jamie slowly blinks open her eyes and takes the ice off of her knuckles. She looks at the angry skin and tries to flex her hand and open her fist but she winces at the pain and puts the ice back. It was a grand reminder of a much darker time in her life when her hands looked this way far too often. She looks at Dani, sweet and soft Dani with her delicate features and comforting presence, one that is made of safety and magic Jamie thinks. 

“I want to open a flower shop,” she says and the corners of Dani’s lips curl up into a smile. “One here in town. One that would be beautiful and a place I could really call my own. Somewhere that makes me feel the way being out by the stone church does. A quiet, simple place but one that gives people the same hope and happiness that plants give me.”

“Jamie,” Dani says as she puts her hand on the brunette’s thigh. “Listen to me. That is not a pipe dream. If you really want that, then I want it too and I want to do whatever I can to help make it happen.”

“You think I could do it? For real?”

Dani leans in close and just before their lips touch, she smiles even wider and nods her head then kisses Jamie. They get a little lost in the kiss for a minute or so and when they part, Jamie no longer feels the pain of her hand or the pain of her past. All she feels is Dani, the sunshine that seems to pour out of her, and the promise of a future for herself that thought she could only ever imagine.

“A flower shop needs a name, you know,” Dani says. “So what will you name yours?” 

“The Leafling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the first 2.5k words of this chapter are just soft smut and all the fluff but I really wanted to show more of them interacting this way and explore a little more of Dani's bold side (we all know she has one) and her newfound skills. I hope you liked it because writing it made me feel all of the warm fuzzies.


	9. If You Need Me, I'm Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the wonderful comments on the last chapter. It warms my heart to know just how much people seem to enjoy this srtory and I'm so glad that you all like this little world that I've created. 
> 
> This is a very Jamie-centric chapter and I look forward to hearing your thoughts about this one! Happy reading! x

Jamie turns over in her bed and stretches her arm out, discovering a cold and empty space beside her. She had spent the night before describing her shop to Dani in as much detail as she could muster and Dani, with all her warmth and genuine interest, had sat and listened eagerly. 

For most of her life, Jamie had focused on the _now_ and never on the _future_ because she could control everything that was happening around her as it was happening. What lay ahead was out of her control and imagining all of it often left her disappointed and a little broken but Dani let her slip into her imagination, let her slip into her hopes and her wants, and for the first time in as long as she could remember, maybe the first time in her life, her dreams didn’t feel completely out of reach. She felt safe, supported, and she felt like for once in her life, she could have everything she tried not to want for so long. Maybe if she were lucky, she could have all of it with the blonde who had carved a space for herself in her the most perfect way.

She blinks and opens her eyes, glancing around her bedroom to find she’s alone in it and frowns but then music and the sweet sound of someone humming along to it floats into her bedroom and a bashful grin spreads across her face. She’s heard that voice hum before, she’s marveled in the way it gets lost in music while cooking or organizing books. She’s come to know it very well. _Dani_.

Jamie gets out of bed and pulls on a pair of pajama shorts and a faded band t-shirt with holes in it and makes her way out into the kitchen. Dani is slowly swaying her hips to quiet music pouring from a radio beside the couch and Jamie leans against the wall to watch her as she mixes what looks to be pancake batter but all she can focus on is the expanse of pale legs and her own flannel shirt that hangs loosely on Dani’s frame, falling just past her backside. She pushes away from the wall and pads across the floor then steps in behind Dani, slipping her hands under the flannel and slides them around an uncovered torso on display all thanks to the unbuttoned shirt. She pulls Dani close and inhales her scent, a combination the blonde's own shampoo and herself.

Dani closes her eyes and leans back into Jamie’s warm embrace. “If heaven exists, this must be what it’s like,” Jamie mutters and nuzzles her nose against Dani’s shoulder. She knows it’s a cheesy line, one straight out of a romantic comedy, but it fits.

“I thought I’d make you breakfast,” Dani replies. She opens her eyes and smiles then turns one of the stove burners on. 

“Mmm, well that’s nice,” Jamie says. She removes one of her hands from Dani’s waist and brings it up to her shoulder. She brushes some hair aside then slips the top of her flannel down to expose a small dusting of freckles on her skin. She kisses the skin and smiles against it. “You look much better in this shirt than I do.”

“It smells like you,” Dani replies as she pours some of the pancake mix into a now heated frying pan. It was a little awkward trying to make pancakes with someone clinging to you and leaving hot kisses on your bare skin, awkward and incredibly distracting, but Dani likes the feeling of Jamie pressed against her so much that she manages to do it anyway. Jamie’s fingers wander a little farther down her torso and she closes her eyes again, rocking back into her. Cooking anything was suddenly impossible. “The pancakes…”

“Will probably taste bloody amazing,” Jamie lifts her head so her lips are just beside Dani’s ear and she smirks as she brings them even closer, close enough to graze the shell of it in the most featherlight way. “But you taste better.”

Dani reaches for the burner and shuts off the stove then sets down the bowl with the pancake batter and turns around in Jamie’s arms, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss and catching her a little off guard. Jamie’s hands fly back Dani’s hips and she grips the skin around the waistband of her underwear and pulls her in as close as she can. When they pull apart, Jamie’s lips are parted and her breath is shallow as her eyes flutter open, finding Dani with a proud smirk on her face. 

“What about the pancakes?” 

“They can wait.”

Dani walks Jamie back towards her small couch and before she pushes her down onto it, she brings her bruised hand up to her lips and kisses her knuckles like she had done the night before. Jamie watches with eager intensity, completely swept away by Dani’s ability to be so gentle and so soft. It makes her feel a million things that she can distill down into one word, one little word that her heart has very cautiously been aching to voice, _love_. 

“Dani.”

The blonde flicks her eyes up to meet Jamie’s gaze and then leans up and into her, pressing their lips together again. It’s much softer than the kiss by the stove and Jamie slides her hand around Dani’s neck and up into her blonde locks, causing Dani to let out a small whimper. When Jamie leans out of the kiss she doesn’t tumble down onto the couch with Dani in her lap but instead, she lets her head fall to the crook of her neck and hugs her tightly. It’s a tender embrace and she knows that never in her life has she felt safer than in Dani’s arms, in Dani’s presence.

She still didn’t know how it was possible for one person to come flooding into her life and brush away the cobwebs around her heart. 

How was it possible for someone to make her feel like she was worth holding on to for the first time in her life, make her feel like she is worth loving? She didn’t know, but Dani had done it and if she were to let herself, already so lost in all things Dani, she could cry because of how much she felt. It was almost overwhelming. 

Jamie takes a shuddering deep breath and kisses Dani’s neck, her hands slipping under her worn flannel and faintly tracing the skin on the small of Dani’s back. Touching a person this way, feeling their skin, and disappearing into the weight of their body against yours was something Jamie took for granted when she was younger, always eager to quickly move on to what came next because none of it ever really meant anything. She had never been in love. Never let her heart hold on to anything tightly enough because as strong as she was, she had never been strong enough to allow herself to feel for another person the things she feels with Dani. Every second of Dani against her body, every graze of a finger, every brush of lips meant more than the last and it was so new, so precious. Extraordinary is a word that comes to her mind as she breathes in deeply, letting the now very familiar smell of Dani settle low in her soul. 

“You okay?” Dani asks with slight concern in her voice because of Jamie’s silence. 

“Never been better,” Jamie quietly replies. She kisses Dani’s neck one more time then lifts her head and looks into Dani’s bright blue eyes. “Just love holdin’ you like this is all.”

Her honesty sends a blush across Dani’s cheeks and Jamie can’t contain her wide grin as she realizes how her words still have that effect on the other woman. 

“I love it too,” Dani admits and the corners of her lips curl up into a warm smile. 

Jamie brushes her nose against Dani’s and then sits down on the couch, tugging Dani along with her. The blonde settles in her lap, her thighs on each side of her waist, and Jamie’s hands disappear under the flannel again and move up Dani’s torso. They brush over the swell of her bare breasts, grazing pert nipples, making Dani moan and tremble. She pushes the flannel down off of her shoulders and her fingers glide across soft, peach skin. It’s a rare sunny day after enough rain to last for months and morning sunlight streams in through her living room window, illuminating Dani in the softest glow, making her look like a priceless piece of art, which to Jamie is what she always was and she knows how damn lucky she is to be in the company of a person like that. 

“Beautiful,” Jamie mutters and Dani bites her lip then falls forward and captures Jamie’s lips in another kiss. They stay this way, with eager lips and wandering hands, well into the late morning, wrapped up in one another in the most addicting way. When they finally make it back into the kitchen for the pancakes that had long since been forgotten, Dani scoops some of the batter onto her finger and Jamie takes it into her mouth to taste it. It’s more sensual than she intends for it to be and Dani has to fight the urge she has to drag Jamie back into her bedroom.

Making breakfast has never been quite so much fun.

___________

Jamie’s truck rolls to a stop behind the large manor house and she hops out, her boots landing with a loud crunch against the gravel as she does. All of the glitter and the decorations for the garden party had been gone for over a week now and the property is back to looking just how she likes it, lush and green, no ribbons or balloons, no fancy dressings needed to make it stand out more. It did that perfectly all on its own. Well, not on its own. With her help. She reaches into the back of her truck to grab her bag then heads off along the path in the direction of her greenhouse. 

There is something so therapeutic about walking into a space filled to the brim with plants. It was one of the first things Jamie had really noticed when she started gardening, how her mood could change just by being around them. How, as the plant life around her bloomed, her own life began to bloom and grow along with it. Working together in tandem to build something new and something good. 

She sets her bag down on the bench and as she goes to retrieve her apron, an envelope sitting atop one of her work stations catches her eye. She narrows her eyes and picks it up. Her name is written in scrawling cursive along with the address of the manor written below. A UK postage stamp sits in the top right corner of the envelope and Jamie flips it over in her hand, looking for a return address but she doesn’t find one. She tears it open and pulls out a piece of paper, one covered with words on both sides. She starts to read what is scribbled across the page but doesn’t get very far before she drops the letter, staring straight ahead as it floats to the ground, landing at her feet. 

She quickly blinks her eyes a few times then bends and picks the letter up and stuffs it back into the envelope then slips it deep into her bag, wanting no sight of it until she can decide what she wants to do with it, until she decides if she can even let herself finish reading what’s written on the page. 

_Plants_. Those will help. They always help. _Focus on your plants_ , she tells herself. And that’s exactly what she does, quickly throwing herself into the most laborious work she can think of. Carrying large planters and heavy bags of soil out onto the grounds, choosing to hoist things up on her shoulders instead of using a wheelbarrow, craving the slight tremble in her arms as the weight of everything begins to make itself known in her body. By the end of the day, she is covered in sweat and dirt, the letter gone from her mind completely. She lays down on the cool grass outside the greenhouse, completely spent with aching muscles and looks up at the late afternoon sky, the clouds starting to take on the pretty pink hue of a looming sunset. She stays there in the grass until the sky darkens and her skin grows cold without the warmth from the sun. 

Her body is sore and she wants a shower. She wants Dani. She takes a long, deep breath and pulls herself up off the ground then heads into the greenhouse for her bag and makes her way back to her truck. It feels like a longer drive back into town than it normally does and instead of driving to her own flat, she parks in front of Dani’s building and climbs up the stairs. She knocks on the door and when Dani opens it, her eyes widen at the sight of her. There is dirt smudged across her cheeks and the red stain of mulch and mud all over the legs of her jumpsuit and her hair is flat, still slightly damp with sweat. 

“Rough day?” 

Jamie half smiles and nods. “You don’t know the half.”

“Come on, let me run you a bath. You look like you could use one.”

Fifteen minutes later, Jamie lowers herself into Dani’s tub, now filled with hot water and bubbles that smell of roses. The feeling of the water against her skin is divine and she closes her eyes as she leans her head back against the rim of the tub, letting out a sigh of content. Dani turns to leave, wanting to give Jamie some quiet alone time after the long day but when Jamie hears the door closing, she opens her eyes and looks towards it.

“Wait,” she says. 

Dani turns and pushes open the door, stepping back into the room. “Hmm?”

“Do you...want to join me?”

“I didn’t want to intrude.”

“Dani,” Jamie smiles. “I reckon the only thing that could make this any better right now is you.”

Dani closes the door and strips off her clothes, Jamie’s eyes never leaving her as she does. Once she’s nude, Dani steps into the bathtub with her back to Jamie and sits down, leaning back against Jamie’s body. This was a first for both of them and more intimate than they had expected but Jamie slides her hands around Dani’s waist and kisses her on the back of the neck, the blonde humming in approval. 

It’s quiet while they enjoy the comfort of the hot water and the comfort of each other, allowing the world to simply fade away, leaving only them. _This might be my new favourite way to relax,_ is a thought that crosses both of their minds.

“Want to tell me about your day?” Dani finally asks, breaking the silence. “And why you looked so disheveled on my doorstep?”

Jamie swallows and her head falls back against the ceramic of the tub. Dani gives her thigh a comforting squeeze and she licks her lips then inhales.

“There was a letter for me at work,” she says. “No return address on it. Just Jamie Taylor and the address of the estate. I thought, how strange because I’ve never gotten mail to the estate, or much mail at all really. So I opened it and read a few lines before I…”

“Before what?”

“I had to put it away, couldn’t finish it.”

“Why not?”

“No fucking clue how she tracked me down but it was a letter from my mum.”

Dani sits up and looks over her shoulder at Jamie, her eyes closed, brows furrowed and jaw tight. 

“Your mother sent you a letter?”

“She did.” Jamie lifts her hands to her face and she covers her eyes then brushes her fingers up and through her hair. “Haven’t heard a word from her since I left and that was ages ago. Though I never really heard much from her while I was still back there, to be fair. She was never going to win any mother of the year awards. Didn’t give a shite about me back then, not sure why she suddenly gives a shite about me now.”

Dani doesn’t know what to say so she just leans back against Jamie, hoping her body and presence could be of more comfort to her and when Jamie presses forward, breasts into her back and hands falling back under the water around her waist once more, she knows it is. 

Jamie kisses her shoulder and hugs her tightly and Dani puts her hands on top of Jamie’s on her stomach. 

“Are you going to finish reading the letter?”

“Don’t know to be honest. Not sure what good it’ll do me.”

“Closure, maybe?”

“She’s probably asking me for money. Asking me for something. Real fucking ironic, that would be. Never gave me a damn thing in life but still wants something from me.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. The only way you’ll know is if you read the letter, right?”

Jamie sighs. She knows Dani is right. But if she’s honest, she’s afraid. Afraid of getting transported back to that time in her life, a time when she was so utterly and completely irrelevant, a time when she had wished more than once that she had never been brought into the dark and messed up world she was raised in. How much easier things might have been back then if that were the case. But if that wish had come true, there would be no Dani. There would be no damp blonde hair and soft curves arching back against her body in a tub full of water in a quiet flat tucked away in the corner of their little nowhere place. 

“I’ll read it. Just not today.”

“I understand if it's something you need to deal with on your own, but I’m here,” Dani says, her voice confident but gentle. “If you need me, I’m here.”

Jamie smiles and she knows those words are true. She can feel them in her heart. Dani was there and Dani wasn’t going to run away and leave her alone in the dark. Dani had become her constant, her north star, a guiding light that always shined down on her, in the same way, no matter where she was or how lost she felt. 

“I know,” Jamie replies. “And I’m so lucky that you are.”

___________

“We absolutely have a copy of that. I can set it aside for you.”

Dani stands behind the counter in the book shop with the phone to her ear. She’s nodding her head and smiling and when the bell above the door chimes and someone walks inside, she lifts a finger as though to signal ‘I’ll be with you in a moment’.

“Of course, not a problem at all. I’ll be here all afternoon until 6 pm. Take care.” She hangs up the phone and looks at the customer admiring her window display. “Sorry about that. Can I help you find something today?”

A man in his late 70’s glances around the shop and clasps his hands together. He looks sad, his eyes sullen and his shoulders slouched. “You wouldn’t happen to have a copy of Winnie The Pooh would you?”

“I do, in fact, I have a very old copy that someone donated to us. It was one of my favourites when I was a child,” Dani replies with a warm smile. 

The man returns Dani’s smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “It was my daughter Sarah’s favourite as well. She...well she recently passed and my wife and I are having a bit of a tough time. Sarah gave away most of her childhood things as she got older but we used to read that book with her when she was young and I thought it might remind my wife of the beautiful moments we had with her.”

The man is a stranger but all Dani wants to do is reach out and give him a comforting hug. She had always been the type of person who found comfort in physical touch, in a gentle squeeze of a hand, a soft embrace. She found solace in that but she also found solace in books and that’s what this man was hoping to find. 

“I think that’s a beautiful idea, sir. Would you like me to show you where we keep the children's books?”

He nods and she turns around and leads him towards the back of the store, towards the stacks of picture books and children’s novels, towards all of the worlds she herself slipped into when she was young.

“They’re just on the shelf there,” she says, pointing to a collection of books on a middle shelf. “I’ll just be back by the window if you need any more help. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you and your wife are able to find some comfort.”

“Thank you, dear,” the man replies. He puts his hand on her arm and smiles again, his eyes a little bit brighter than they were by the window. “You’ve been very helpful.”

Dani nods her head and heads back to the front of the store, dipping her fingers in all of the plant pots as she goes, making sure none of them are too dry and needing water. Jamie hadn’t made it into the shop in a few days and both the plants and Dani missed her. Dani picks up a box of books from behind the counter and begins to stack them up in small but neat piles in the window underneath a hanging sign that advertises the in-store author reading, an event they had been getting calls about all week. As if by fate, the phone rings again and she looks over her shoulder just as Albert rounds the counter and answers it. She focuses on her task again and hears Albert mumble a few words then he hangs up the phone. The man looking for Winnie The Pooh brings his book to the counter, settling on the old and worn, very well-loved copy they had been given and Albert cashes him out and slips the book into a small paper bag with the name and address of the book shop stamped onto it. 

“Thank you again,” the man says as he stops by the store entrance. Dani looks at him and smiles and then he pushes the door open and disappears down the street leaving Dani and Albert alone in the shop. Dani turns around and sits down on the windowsill and crosses her hands in her lap, her gaze fixed on the scuffed bit of hardwood floor between her feet. 

“What would we do without books?” she says out loud. Not to herself, or to Albert, but rather to the universe. 

“Hmm? What’s that, love?” Albert is sorting through some receipts and he doesn’t look in her direction. 

“Books. What would we do without them?” She looks to Albert now and he lifts his head, meeting her gaze. 

“Books are loyal,” he says. “Books are there when nothing else is.”

“Yeah. You’re right. Books are loyal.”

Dani stands, brushing some dust off the backs of her legs. She walks to the counter and leans against it, watching Albert as he scribbles down some notes in their inventory book. 

“You know, I’ve never asked you why you opened this place.”

“My father was a writer. Not a published author, but he tried. We had very little money when I was a child, grew up in the countryside not far from here and even though we didn’t have much, we always had books. He believed in the importance of learning, writing, and reading.” Albert looks up at Dani and smiles. “That belief was one of the best things he ever gave me and when I got older, I wanted to share that with people so I settled down here. Started collectin’ books and that collection turned into this shop.”

“Wow.” Dani looks around the shop and her whole body feels warm as happiness washes over her. The small dusty shop with its worn hardwood floors, faded carpets, and a big window that flooded the front of the space with the warmest of light on sunny days had become a place that meant more to her than any place ever had and the man sitting on the stool across from her had become family. What she didn’t know was that he felt as though she had become his family too. 

“Mark Twain once said that in a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without ever opening them.”

“He’s right,” Dani says. “This feels like one of those places.”

The doorbell chimes again and Albert looks towards the entrance, smiling when his eyes land on Jamie as she stuffs her hands into her jacket pockets. Dani looks over her shoulder to see what he’s looking at and Jamie smiles. The sight of her seems to make any tension in Dani’s body disappear and Jamie’s smile, bright and endearing, fills the room with a sense of joy. 

“Hey you lot,” she says, walking towards them. She comes to a stop beside Dani and kisses her on the cheek then slips an arm around her waist. 

“What, an old man like me doesn’t get a kiss on the cheek anymore?” Albert asks. Jamie laughs and leans over the wooden countertop and kisses him on his cheek. “Bloody right.”

“Sorry mate, kissing this one usually comes first these days,” she says with a laugh as she settles back against Dani’s side. 

Dani blushes and tries her best not to grin like a lovesick fool, but she was. She was undoubtedly and irrevocably a lovesick fool and had no shame about it. It was nice to be open this way with Albert, nice to share their relationship with someone who supported it. Dani’s thoughts drift to her mother, knowing the life she is now living is the farthest thing from what her mom would want for her and that thought makes her a little melancholic, knowing that relationship would most likely be strained for the rest of her life. All anyone should want for another person is for them to be happy, for them to be cared for, and for them to be safe. 

“Dani, hey.”

“Hmm?”

Jamie softly rubs a hand on her hip and searches her eyes. “You alright? You disappeared there for a minute.”

“Oh,” Dani replies. She takes a deep breath and looks between Jamie and Albert. “Sorry. I guess I zoned out a little bit.”

“All good,” Jamie smiles, leaning into her. Her scent washes over Dani and it’s comforting.

“Anyone fancy a cup of tea?” Albert asks. 

Jamie looks to him and eagerly nods her head. “Brew sounds great, I can make it if ya like.”

“Nonsense, I offered. You two lovebirds stay here and chat. I’m just going to pop up to the flat and get some more tea bags.”

They watch him ascend the creaky wooden stairs and once he disappears from the small landing at the top, Jamie slips her hand down to take Dani’s and drags her towards the back of the shop, out of view from the windows and any customers should they walk in. 

“Jamie, what are you - “

The rest of Dani’s sentence is lost as Jamie kisses her against the shelves filled with the words of Walt Whitman, William Wordsworth, and Emily Dickinson. There was something to be said about being kissed so passionately that the air is taken from your lungs, something extremely poetic about a lover's touch sending shivers through your body all while you’re pressed up against books filled to the brim with poems. 

It wasn’t the first time Jamie had kissed her up against one of the stacks, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. They would eventually make their way through every genre, fiction and non-fiction. Time seems to stand still and the feeling of Jamie against her sets her body ablaze in such a way that Dani can’t help herself when her thigh slips between Jamie’s legs. Was it unprofessional to be doing this in her place of work with the boss right upstairs? Yes. Would it be so easy to lose herself completely in Jamie right now? Yes. And she almost does. The sound of Albert descending the stairs makes Jamie pull back, leaving Dani breathless and at a loss for words. How wonderful it was for a kiss to leave you feeling that way. 

“Girls?” Albert calls out. 

Jamie smiles and kisses Dani quickly once more before leaving her by the books to go help Albert with tea. Dani brings her hand to her mouth and runs her thumb across her bottom lip, tracing the echo of Jamie’s lips against her own. The words in the books behind her seem to seep from their pages into her soul and she remembers something Walt Whitman once wrote and how perfectly it seemed to describe each moment with Jamie, how Dani could exist in those moments for an eternity while everything else just faded away. 

_We were together, I forget the rest._

___________

She didn’t want to read the rest of the letter. She _really_ didn’t want to read it. Why did it have to show up now and fracture her quiet, comfortable life? Why did a piece of her past need to make itself known when she had worked so fucking hard to put distance between herself and everything she had run from?

“It’s been so long,” Jamie says as Dani rubs comforting circles on her back. They sit side by side on Jamie’s couch, the letter glaring up at them on the coffee table.

“No one is making you read it right now if you’re still unsure, you know that, right? I have no stake in this. If you want to tear it up, light it on fire, leave it out to fall apart in the rain, I’ll support that.”

Jamie clenches and unclenches her hands, eyes fixed on the bruises on her knuckles that are beginning to fade. A stark reminder on her skin of all she’s been through and her reasons for leaving home in the first place. Her hands start to tremble slightly and Dani places her own on top of them. Jamie turns and their eyes meet. 

“I’m scared.” Jamie’s voice is quiet, small almost. “I know I act tough, but sometimes I’m miles away from tough.”

Dani has never seen her this vulnerable before and it makes her heart hurt, makes her wish that she could take away the things that Jamie is feeling. She wants to strip the letter of its power, a power that seems to has Jamie fixed and frozen in the darkest parts of her childhood. 

“Did they...your parents ...did they ever hurt you?” Dani asks. It’s a bold question and one that she honestly doesn’t expect Jamie to answer. It’s personal. Heavy. Her words seem to hang in the air with a weight to them that she can’t quite explain.

“Mum knocked me around a few times. Coupla nose bleeds, a black eye once. Split lip. Fucking hurt like hell. They definitely weren’t saints, weren’t ready to have a child, and didn’t know what to do with me once I showed up. I was too loud, too energetic, didn’t like being told what to do. Still don’t, to be fair. I always felt like that’s just the way it was, ya know? I’m from a lot farther north than this sleepy town and there isn’t much to do with your life that far north except drink and fool around. And that’s what Mum and Dad did. I was pretty much a waste of space that they only used to get a few quid from now and then.”

Jamie never looks at Dani as she speaks. Her eyes remain locked on their hands, her chest heaving as she attempts to keep a steady breath. 

“Told you that day in the greenhouse that I took off when I was sixteen because I knew no one would come after me, no one would bother looking. They barely looked in my direction when I was there, and they sure as hell wouldn’t go traipsing around the whole of England to look for me once I’d slipped away. I remember stuffing a bag with clothes and just walkin’ out the door in the middle of the day, walked right past both Mum and Dad, and never looked back. And I was right, no one ever came looking. Until now, I suppose.”

“Jamie,” Dani says in a whisper. 

“So whatever she wants, whatever she’s asking of me now? She doesn’t deserve a damn thing. Not my time, not even my breath. I’ve been good. I’ve been doing so good, so well for myself and I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I’m happy now.”

“Jamie,” Dani says again and finally Jamie pulls her gaze from their hands and looks up. Her eyes are red and rimmed with tears that she’s somehow managed to not let spill down her cheeks but Dani leans in and rests their foreheads together and that’s all it takes for the tears to fall. She folds into herself and cries and all Dani can do is pull her into her arms and hold her as closely as she can. Close enough to protect her from the cruel world around them. 

You never know the hardships someone has been through when you look at them, the darkness they’ve lived in, how hard they’ve had to work to build something for themself. When she first met Jamie, all Dani saw was confidence and a sultry smile, a bold personality that filled a room but this Jamie, this is the Jamie that Dani felt privileged to know. Raw, honest, more open than she had probably ever been in her whole entire life and Dani knows that there was no way that she would ever let just anyone so deep into her life in such an intense way.

 _Don’t ever let someone make her feel this way again_ , Dani thinks. _She needs you and you need her. Never take advantage of that and when you find her fading into her own darkness, be her light._

Eventually, Jamie stops crying and she sniffs and slowly pulls out of Dani’s arms, her face red from crying and her eyes shining. Dani lifts her thumbs to her cheeks and wipes away the remnants of tears from under her eyes.

“Let’s just throw it away, the letter. Let’s just get rid of it entirely,” she says and Jamie sadly smiles. 

“Would you read it?”

Dani’s eyes widen slightly as they flick towards the letter on the table then back at Jamie. “Are you sure?”

Jamie swallows and nods. “Read it and then tell me what it says.”

“And then we will face it together. You and me. Okay?”

Dani reaches for the letter and she picks it up, running her fingers over Jamie’s name on the front of the envelope. She slips the folded sheet of paper out of it and suddenly the room is dead silent as her eyes scan the page. Jamie thinks her heart might literally beat out of her chest and she digs her own fingernails into her clenched hand, digs them deep enough to nearly draw blood. 

When she’s read every word and taken it in, Dani puts the letter back into the envelope and places it back on the table in the spot that seems to belong to it now. 

“So,” she says, taking a deep breath. She turns back to Jamie and softens her gaze. “She wrote to you to tell you that your father died.”

For most people, those words would land in their chest like a bullet but Jamie feels almost nothing and her expression doesn’t change as Dani continues.

“She says she knows he was never much of a father at all, but thought you deserved to know and was somehow able to track you down through some of the people you knew in London but she doesn’t say who those people are. She says that someday, though she doesn’t expect you to say yes, she’d like to see you. To talk.”

“Did she say how he died?” Jamie asks and Dani sighs and purses her lips. 

“She did, but Jamie, I don’t think you - “

“Dani. How did he die?”

“Liver failure from alcohol consumption.”

Jamie laughs and Dani isn’t sure how to react but she knows that Jamie is processing, working through the information in any way she can and grief, if that’s what you could call it for her in this moment, looks completely different for everyone. 

“Sounds about right,” Jamie says, nodding her head. “Don’t think I ever saw the man take a sip of something other than booze. Practically piss drunk throughout my entire childhood.”

“So...what now?” Dani asks. 

“Now I get to spend the rest of the night with my beautiful girlfriend and forget about everything else.”

“Jamie...you sure you don’t want to talk about this more, process things a little?”

Jamie shakes her head and gets up from the couch. She holds her hand out and Dani accepts it and stands. 

“All I want right now is you,” Jamie says and steps closer to Dani. “You’re my family, Dani. I just want you. If that’s okay.”

Dani smiles and puts her hands on Jamie’s waist. “It’s more than okay.”

“Can we go to bed?” Jamie tilts her head forward and brushes her lips against Dani’s. 

“Are you tired?” Dani’s breath catches slightly in her chest as she feels Jamie’s against her skin. 

“Not even a little bit.” Dani looks into Jamie’s eyes and what was tears only minutes ago is now a playful look of desire, a look of want. 

“And what do you want to do once we make it to your bed?”

It’s a flirtatious question that she already knows the answer to but teasing Jamie, building her up, and making her feel like she’s in charge is something Dani learned that she shamelessly enjoyed. 

“Got a few ideas,” Jamie says. Her eyes rake up and down Dani’s body and then slip beneath the hem of her sweater and slide up the sides of her torso. “They all involve a lot less clothing.”

“So take me then. To bed.”

Jamie’s eyes lock with Dani’s and she leans in and kisses her deeply. It’s hot, all teeth and tongue and dripping with lust but it’s what Jamie needs. A distraction. A very, very beautiful blonde distraction. She needs Dani in every single way and she knows that Dani will do everything she can to help put her mind to ease, to help her relax, to help her think of her and only her. They leave the letter in its space on the coffee table and slip into her bedroom and for the rest of the night, nothing else matters but each other. 

_We were together, I forget the rest._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, we will FINALLY have the very built-up author reading and book signing in the shop and we all know our girl Dani is going to pull it off in the best way. What could go wrong, right?
> 
> ps: I listened to a song called Photograph by Cody Fry a LOT while writing this chapter in case you feel like slipping into a  
> piece of music while reading.


	10. Nowhere Else I'd Rather Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for your lovely comments on the last chapter, it warms my heart to see how much you enjoyed it. I won't say much about this new chapter, I'll just let you sink into it.
> 
> Hope things brings a little joy to your day, happy reading. x

Dani’s copy of The Secret Garden, filled with notes and small sketches of flowers in the margins, passages underlined and circled, sits open in Jamie’s lap while she takes a much-needed break. With her back against the bench in her greenhouse, she pops pieces of bread into her mouth and flips through the pages, smiling to herself at the physical manifestation of Dani’s endearing love for the novel.

She herself couldn’t think of a book she loved quite so much as a child, can’t recall a piece of writing or a literary world she was able to slip into, and hadn’t truly discovered her love of reading until she was much older. Knowing that Dani had a book that allowed her to disappear for a while, allowed her to feel safe and warm, made her happy. 

The book, with its heavily cracked spine and worn away corners, is barely holding itself together as Jamie reads through it, much more interested in Dani’s notations than in the story itself. A specific passage catches her eye when she sees that Dani has drawn small hearts on each side of it and the words settle themselves low in her soul, making a home as though they were always meant to live there. 

_And the secret garden bloomed and bloomed and every morning revealed new miracles._

The words seemed to describe every day with Dani, every moment spent with her, how things always seemed to be even better than they were only moments before. They seemed to encapsulate Jamie tumbling deeper and deeper towards letting that one precious word fall from her lips, feeling more each day that no one will ever live in her heart the way Dani does. 

People dream of meeting another person and falling this way but reality doesn’t often live up to the expectations we have for our own lives. What if...what if once in a goddamned blue moon it did? Reality with Dani is full of more magic than Jamie could have ever dreamt for herself and admitting it feels almost cliche. She knows other people might roll their eyes and tell her she’s just in the honeymoon phase of her relationship, blinded by happiness and joy, but those people just haven’t met Dani Clayton. They’d feel exactly as she did if they had. 

The sound of thunder cracking in the sky pulls Jamie from the book and her own thoughts as she glances up and looks through the dusty glass windows beside her just as the clouds seem to open up. Rain falls from the sky furiously, pounding down upon the roof of the greenhouse, and had it been any other day she may have quickly packed up her things and headed into the manor house or sought shelter in her truck but the pages of The Secret Garden and the peace within her greenhouse, all lush and lively in the most serene way, keeps her seated. She lays down on the bench and holds the book to her chest, closing her eyes, listening to the sound of the rain as it falls.

Storms, especially ones in late spring, bring with them a promise of new life, growth, and fresh air. _Dani,_ Jamie thinks, _is a little like that herself_. A perfect and beautiful spring storm that helps things bloom amidst its alluring wildness. 

Back in town, Dani is staring with her head cocked to the side as water drips from the ceiling in the back of the book shop and lands in a bucket. It’s a less relaxing environment than Jamie’s as the risk of water damage plagues her thoughts. 

“Albert, you had someone come and fix this, right?”

“I did, yeah,” Albert calls back from his spot on the stool behind the counter. 

Dani turns and heads back towards him, frowning with her arms crossed. “It’s still leaking and I’m a little worried.”

“Ah, don’t be worried, love,” he replies. “Old building, bound to have its flaws.”

“I just hope the rain lets up by Saturday because I really don’t want the ceiling to be leaking when we have a shop full of people. And what if the books get wet? They’ll be ruined.” 

He looks up from something he’s reading and glances towards the other end of the shop. “Maybe our Jamie can pop in and try to patch it up, a temporary fix for now?”

 _Our Jamie_. Dani loves the sound of that. She smiles as she imagines Jamie in her jumpsuit, tool belt strapped to her waist, hard at work with sweat on her brow as she fixes the problem. _I’ve dreamt about this before and I liked how it ended_ , Dani thinks. 

“I’m sure she’d be willing to do that, might have to be in the evening one night though. Apparently, Henry wants a whole new rose garden planted around the fountain and that’s keeping her busy.”

“That one sure does love her work, we’re lucky that she graces us with her presence at all.”

Dani laughs a little and tugs down her sweater, revealing a patch of skin just above her collarbone. Albert spots the red mark before she can even realize it’s on display and he raises an eyebrow.

“I reckon she sees much more of you though...” He gestures towards her neck.

Dani doesn’t know what he’s referring to until he tugs on his own shirt collar and suddenly the memory of what she saw on her own skin that morning in the mirror when Jamie had her pinned against the counter in her small bathroom floods her mind. 

“Jamie...you can’t keep leaving marks on me like this,” she had said, fingers running over her collarbone as Jamie kissed her way across her upper back and slipped a hand between her thighs. 

“Why not? I’m the only one that’ll see ‘em and it’s so much fun,” Jamie replied. 

Her cheeks turn red and she ducks her gaze down, feeling slightly embarrassed to have been caught with the evidence of her intimacy with Jamie on her neck. She pulls her collar up to cover it and coughs slightly in an attempt to change the subject.

“So...your friend from the church is going to be dropping off all of the folding chairs we need on Thursday still, right?” 

Albert chuckles to himself and smiles as he looks back down at the paper in front of him. “Quite right,” he says, flipping a page. “Said he’ll be by with them around half noon.”

“Great. That’s...that’s great.”

Dani turns on her heels and disappears into the room behind the staircase to get her herself something to drink. An attempt to rescue herself from the awkwardness that came with standing across from Albert at that moment, knowing he is well aware of exactly how that red mark ended up on her skin.

“I was once a young lad too, you know!” he calls out as Dani is about to fill the kettle up with water and she laughs.

___________

Jamie walks into her bedroom with a cup of tea in each hand just as Dani is climbing into her bed wearing one of her old band t-shirts; dark gray with swirling yellows and reds and a big Blondie logo in bright blue lettering. One of her favourite shirts, she’d have to admit. She always thought it looked great on her with the sleeves cuffed and her brown jacket, but it looked far better on Dani paired with the expanse of her bare legs. It was rare for them to spend a night apart now and when they did, it felt wrong.

“Mmm thank you,” Dani says as she takes a cup from Jamie’s hands. 

“Nothin’ like a cup of tea after a long, rainy day.”

“You know…I could have made this for us.”

Jamie gets into the bed beside Dani and raises an eyebrow as she takes a sip from her own cup. Dani scoffs and feigns offense. 

“So I’ve made you a couple of bad cups of tea, does that mean I’m barred from making it forever?”

 _Forever with you sounds bloody wonderful,_ Jamie thinks as she laughs and shakes her head. 

“Not forever, just until you remember that there is such a thing as too much sugar.”

“You’ve had tea, right? It needs sugar.”

“Tea is in my blood, Dani. And sure, a teaspoon every now and then. Not half a bag of the stuff.”

“That was an accident and you know it. The bag slipped in my hands and I couldn’t stop it before too much poured out!”

There’s a natural rhythm to their domestic banter and it feels as though they’ve known each other for years, feels as though life was always meant to be this way and both Jamie and Dani would say that it was. When the teacups are empty and set aside, Jamie sinks down into the bed and curls into Dani’s side, resting her head over her heart. 

“How was your day?” She mumbles.

Dani strokes her arm and kisses the top of her head as she inhales deeply and pulls her even closer against her body. 

“It was good, quiet. Guess the rain drove people away and I honestly don’t blame them.”

The rain was in fact still falling and it landed hard against the bedroom window and on the top of the building with a ferociousness that worried them both, Jamie for some of the more delicate florals on the estate that she had only just planted and Dani because of the books. 

“The leak in the ceiling is a big concern and Albert was wondering if you’d be willing to try and give it a quick patch job before Saturday? I thought maybe we could work on it tomorrow night, you can come by once you’re back in town and he said he’ll pay you for your time.”

Jamie smiles and turns her head slightly, pressing her lips to the fabric just above Dani’s heart. She glances up to meet her eyes but Dani has hers closed, her face peacefully relaxed.

“And what if I said I wanted payment upfront, right now?”

Dani’s chest bounces as she laughs and opens her eyes. She glances at Jamie and when she notices desire and playfulness on her face, her own expression shifts into a look of questioning. 

“What kind of payment would you be expecting, Miss Taylor?”

Jamie pulls back the covers and swiftly moves so she’s straddling Dani’s waist. She reaches for her hands and pins them above her then leans down and stops a few inches away from their lips touching. 

“Well, ya see...I happen to know one of the employees at that book shop very, very well and I think she’d be willing to give me a good deal for all my time and labour. She’ll make it worth it for me.”

“And what if she won’t?”

Jamie ducks her head down and starts kissing Dani’s neck. She grinds her hips down and sucks on the spot just below her ear before sitting back and proudly smiling as Dani lets out a small huffed whimper and flutters open her eyes. 

“I can be very convincing,” Jamie says as she leans back down and captures Dani’s lips in a searing kiss.

___________

The sign hanging in the door of the bookshop reads closed but Jamie pushes the door open and steps inside the quiet space, smiling when her eyes land on Albert behind the counter. She sets her toolbox down beside the door and scans the space for Dani and when she doesn’t find her, she practically tip-toes across the hardwood floor.

“Dani around?” She quietly asks. 

“She’s up in the flat, offered to cook me somethin’ for dinner,” Albert answers. “Why are ya whispering, love?”

Jamie smiles and looks over her shoulder at the stairs, needing to confirm the blonde's absence and when she’s certain that she can speak freely, she looks back at Albert. “Got a question for you and it involves a wee bit of a surprise for Dani and I didn’t want her overhearing. This might be an impossible task but I know you’ve got some strong connections in the world of books ‘round here. I want to get Dani a first edition copy of The Secret Garden. Or at least a pretty early printing of it.”

“Oh, Jamie.” Albert leans back on his stool and crosses his arms. “You know something like that won’t be cheap. I’m sure I could track it down but it’ll run you a few hundred pounds. At least.”

“Money doesn’t matter. I’ve got extra quid lying around and I know she’ll love it. Is there a way to do it without her figuring it out? You know how clever she is.”

Albert taps his nose and smiles. “Leave it with me, she won’t know a thing.”

“Albert,” Dani calls out and the sound of her voice draws Jamie’s gaze back towards the stairs just as Dani walks down them into the shop. “I’ve set your dinner on your table and poured you a glass of...oh, Jamie. Hi.”

“Jamie Taylor reporting for duty,” Jamie says. She salutes Dani and winks, causing a slight blush to spread across the blonde's cheeks.

“Ah, that’s lovely. Best make my way up there before it’s gone cold. Thank you, dear,” Albert says. He slowly stands and steadies himself with a hand on the counter. He walks out from behind it and pats Jamie on the shoulder then makes his way towards the stairs and gives Dani a half hug. They both watch him walk up the stairs and as soon as he shuts the door that leads into his flat, Jamie approaches Dani.

“So, where do we start?”

“We can’t get distracted tonight,” Dani answers with a grin. “We really need to focus on the ceiling and fix it.”

Jamie nods. “And we will fix the ceiling but first...I’d be chuffed if I got to give my very beautiful girlfriend a kiss. How d’ya feel about that?” She slips her arms around Dani’s waist as she nods and Jamie kisses her softly. Dani hums at the feeling of lips against hers and when Jamie gently bites her bottom lip then pulls away, she leans into her, chasing another kiss. 

“Sorry, but we’ve got work to do. Best get to it without distractions, yeah?”

Jamie drops her hands and leaves Dani by the stairs to retrieve her toolbox from its spot on the floor beside the door. 

“You’re mean,” Dani says. Jamie locks the door then picks up the toolbox and walks back past her with a sly smile as she heads in the direction of the ceiling leak.

It’s not a perfect fix by any means, and it really did require a professional to come up with a permanent solution but Jamie is able to cover the leak in the ceiling with a wall patch and some spackling paste. Dani had helped in any way she could but eventually ended up cross-legged on the ground with a book in her lap as Jamie worked. They exist together in comfortable silence and when it's all done, Jamie wipes her hands off on her pants and looks up at the ceiling. 

“Next week we’ll get someone in to fix it for real,” Dani says as she stands then hugs Jamie from behind. “Thank you for doing this now.”

“I’m always happy to help out ‘round here. Nice to have the company as well, pretty used to doing things on my own in this place.”

“It is nice to have someone around, isn’t it?”

Jamie turns around in Dani’s arms and breathes her in. She soaks up all things Dani and having her close is just as calming as ever. She knows she’s a mess, clothing speckled with dried spots of gray paste and hair slipping out of a small bun at the base of her neck but Dani looks radiant and it makes her heart swell. 

“It’s nice to have you around,” she says as she brushes a lock of blonde hair behind Dani’s ear. “How ya feeling about the event on Saturday?”

Dani drops her head to Jamie’s shoulder and sighs. “Honestly? I’m nervous,” she replies and Jamie starts rubbing comforting circles on her back. 

“Why’s that?”

“Because Albert is really trusting me to pull this off and I don’t want to let him down. He’s given me so much and I want this to be a success for him, for this place.”

“Oh, Dani.”

Jamie pulls back and places her thumb under Dani’s chin to tilt her head up so their eyes meet. “You won’t let him down, trust me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Nobody really knows anything, do they? We’re all just scrapin’ by. Just doing our best. You are doing your best and he appreciates you for that. He appreciates all the hard work you’ve put into making this dusty old shop someplace special again. That doesn’t sound like you’re lettin’ him down, does it? Saturday will be brilliant and I’ll be right by your side the whole time if you need me to be.”

At this moment, the word almost falls from Dani’s lips. The one they both want to say. It’s almost becoming a race to see who will crack and bare their soul before the other. And how perfect it might be if she were to say it now between the romance novels and classic literature. They’ve been here before. They’ve lost themselves in each other and kissed against the shelves with the curious words of Jane Austen gazing at them from the pages of her novels but something keeps the word in Dani’s chest a little longer. She knows how she feels, there is no doubt in her mind or her heart when it comes to Jamie and love but she has never loved another person this way and the word and all that comes with it, all its vastness and possibility, the weight of it, is overwhelming in ways she can’t describe. Good ways. But, even the most wonderful things in life can overwhelm us and it’s okay for them to take their time. Soon it will slip out in the most natural way. 

_Jamie, I love you,_ will slip out as though nothing in her life has ever been easier to say and it will make her wonder why she felt the weight of the words in the first place. 

“Thank you,” she replies and drops her head back to Jamie’s shoulder. She holds her tightly as Jamie’s hand returns to stroking her back and she smiles when she feels a kiss against the side of her head. 

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” Jamie says.

___________

“Dani, have you seen my -“

Jamie doesn’t finish her sentence because she completely loses the words in her throat as Dani walks out of her bathroom, steam billowing around her. Her hair is slick, clinging to her shoulders and she has a towel wrapped around her that with just one simple tug could fall to the floor leaving her body completely bare. Jamie swallows a lump in her throat and her heart starts beating faster at the sight before her. 

Dani, she had learned the moment they met, took her breath away, and to see her so comfortable and at ease was such a gift. Jamie knows that having such a beautiful woman in her apartment, one she gets to hold and touch is something to truly appreciate, and appreciating this fact is exactly what she does. 

“Sorry, have I seen what?”

The room is suddenly thick with a sexual tension neither had planned for and Jamie’s eyes darken with lust. Dani smirks and raises an eyebrow then slowly stalks towards Jamie, stopping a foot away from her.

“Like what you see, hmm?”

“Can you blame me? Dani Clayton, you are...I don’t even have words for what you are.”

It was still early and she didn’t need to rush to get ready to go to the shop. In fact, she wasn’t needed for hours. The chairs had been set up the night before, the posters advertising the event were hanging proudly in the window and the books were beautifully stacked, ready and waiting to be signed and read. Everything was carefully curated and meticulously prepared and she deserved time with Jamie before the stress of the day weighed her down completely.

Yes, she had just showered but she could definitely shower again. Missing an opportunity to tease Jamie and waste a little time, an opportunity to lose herself in the other woman in the bed or against the wall or propped up on the kitchen counter would be something she’d surely regret. 

She reaches for the edge of the towel tucked under her arm and pulls it free and Jamie watches with eager anticipation as it falls to the ground, pooling around her feet leaving her nude and still wet from the shower she had only just stepped out of.

“What about now? You still like what you see?” Dani bites her lip and she feels a smidge of insecurity as she stands before Jamie completely bare, entirely at the mercy of her gaze. 

There is something about being so completely uncovered in front of another person that can make the soul feel a little unsteady and Dani had certainly felt that feeling before in her life. She had always felt the need to bare herself this way with the lights off, never allowing the opportunity to be present while another human touched her, letting her mind drift off just far enough to feel out of her own body. Jamie though, Jamie makes her feel like she’s the most beautiful thing in the whole world. Jamie makes her feel as though every inch of her is perfection and she wants to be present. She’s never been more comfortable with the light on her skin this way, highlighting each inch of her body. Jamie had already traced her skin in the light countless times, mapping a path right to her heart. 

That faint hint of insecurity is very quickly replaced with bashful happiness and a desperate need for Jamie to be wearing far less than she is and it doesn’t matter that it’s just gone nine in the morning. It doesn’t matter that they had woken up again in the same bed less than an hour before wearing nothing but feeling everything. 

“One of the best things I’ve ever seen,” Jamie replies. “Stunning, really.”

Jamie closes the gap between them and her hands reach out, landing naturally on Dani’s hips. They slide around and grip her backside as she tugs her foreword. 

Dani shakes her head. “Not so fast. I think I'll call the shots today.”

“Is that right?” 

“I think you…” Dani says, licking her lips. “Need to take all of this off.” 

“What if I don’t want to?”

Dani says nothing and her silence and the eager look in her eyes convinces Jamie to pull her t-shirt up over her head and toss it to the side. She reaches behind her back and unclips her bra, letting the straps fall down her arms, and then her bra joins the shirt in a pile by her feet. Dani licks her lips again then puts her hand against Jamie’s chest. She pushes her down onto the bed and she lands with a bouncing thud.

“Y’know, you’ll have to shower again,” she says with a raised eyebrow but Dani kneels beside the edge of the bed, reaching for her belt buckle. She undoes it then pulls the zipper of her dark blue jeans down and in one quick move they’re sliding off her legs and being thrown to the side. 

“We can save water and shower together,” Dani says. She grips Jamie’s waist and tugs her hips closer towards the edge of the bed.

Jamie wants to respond with a witty comment but just as she goes to open her mouth to speak, Dani dips her head down between her legs and after the first swipe of a tongue she decides that letting Dani be in charge is a very, very wise decision.

___________

Pacing. Dani is pacing and she can’t stop herself because at any moment the man of the hour and his publicist will stroll into the book shop and everything will finally be happening. It will finally be happening and it will run smoothly and efficiently and everyone will have a grand time. She really doesn’t know why she’s so nervous. It’s not the be-all and end-all for the book shop. Her life won’t be over if things don’t go off without a hitch. She won’t be fired.

 _Oh god. What if Albert fires me?_ She picks up speed and begins to mumble to herself. 

“Might wear a hole in the hardwood if she keeps goin’ on this way,” Albert says to Jamie as they both watch with concern.

“She’ll be alright,” Jamie replies. “Let her feel it out. Once he's here and gets set up, she’ll take a deep breath and slow down. She’s nervous, doesn’t want to disappoint you.”

The bell above the door chimes and a woman with long brown hair who looks to be in her mid-thirties walks in with a blonde-haired man around the same age. They’re well dressed and they glance around the bookshop, noting the setup of the folding chairs for guests and the stack of books by the window next to a podium. 

“Is there a Miss Clayton here?” The woman asks and Dani quickly nods and approaches them.

“Hi, hello. That’s me, I’m Dani...Dani Clayton.”

The woman smiles and holds out her hand for Dani to shake and the man walks around them and begins to wander the shop.

“I’m Caroline Hayes and that -“ Caroline says, pointing at the man who disappears between the shelves towards the back of the shop. “- is why we are here today. That’s Stephen Bishop.”

Stephen reappears with a wide grin on his face and Jamie and Albert observe the scene like flies on the wall. “Hello. So lovely to meet you, Dani,” Stephen says. “Sorry about wandering off there, it's just been so long since I’ve stepped foot in this place and it’s lovely to be back.”

“Well, we’re so thrilled to have you with us today. I hope the trek up from London wasn’t too bad,” Dani says. 

“Oh, nonsense. It is not a trip I haven’t made before. Miss Hayes here never stops talking though, that’s really the only inconvenience.”

Caroline rolls her eyes and leaves them to introduce herself to Jamie and Albert.

“So, you’re American? I couldn’t help but notice your accent”

“Guilty,” Dani replies. “But this is my home now.”

“Oh, so you live in the book shop. How charming.”

“No that’s not quite what I -“

“I’m kidding, Dani.”

Stephen puts his hand on her arm and smiles. He’s an attractive young man and one that many women were probably rather fond of but Dani of course has no interest in this. What she does have an interest in is the fact that Stephen lets his hand linger on her arm for longer than he should and he strokes her skin with his thumb as he smiles, a set of perfect dimples on display. 

Jamie looks past Caroline at the two of them by the door and narrows her eyes as Dani takes a small step back from him, her shoulders slightly tensed.

“Well, we should get you set up as people will be arriving soon for your reading,” Dani says and he finally drops his hand and nods in agreement.

“Quite right. Can’t leave my fans waiting.”

It’s not long before the store is filled with people and each seat is taken, leaving them at standing room capacity. Dani is a little shocked by the turnout, Albert even more so. They knew it was a popular book but as Dani’s eyes scan the crowd, she notices how predominantly female it is and can’t help but wonder if it has less to do with the book itself and more to do with the fact that Stephen Bishop could be a model if he wanted to. Charm oozes from him and his perfectly styled hair and dimpled smile had most certainly made many women go weak at the knees. 

Albert and Jamie ring more copies of the book through the register and within twenty minutes; they've nearly sold every copy they had in stock. If Dani really thought this would be a failure, if she thought she’d let Albert down, she couldn’t be farther away from reality. 

Needing a moment to herself before the main event kicks off, Dani slips into the room behind the staircase and shuts the door behind her. She takes a few deep breaths and when she hears the door handle turn she prepares to protest but her gaze softens when she realizes it’s only Jamie coming to check in on her. 

“What’s wrong?” Jamie asks as she rubs her hands up and down the side of Dani’s arms. 

“I-I don’t know. I’m so nervous. Why am I so nervous? I don’t know if I can go out there and introduce him, Jamie...I really don’t.”

“Oh baby, come here.”

Dani’s heart does a little flip flop in her chest at the sound of the pet name, something Jamie had never called her before. She likes it. A lot. _Say it again_ , she wants to say. Jamie kisses her temple then wraps her arms around her and holds her. She says nothing else, all she does is hold Dani close, allowing her to feel through all of her emotions while Jamie acts as a grounding force of comfort for her. They stay this way for a few minutes until Jamie slips her hand beneath the hem of Dani’s sweater and splays her fingers out across her lower back. 

“You’re goin’ to go out there and talk for three minutes and then that man’ll do the rest. At the end of the day, you’ll walk away a hero  
to Albert for putting so much of yourself into this shop.”

Dani hugs Jamie tighter and the feeling of her hand in the bare skin of her back, her warm body, the peace she finds curled against it, the calm, is something she thinks everyone deserves to feel at some point in their life but she’d never share moments like this Jamie with anyone else. This is her peace, her calm, and she is so fucking in love. 

“Okay,” Dani says, pulling back out of Jamie’s arms. She smiles and deeply breathes then nods her head. “I’m ready.”

Jamie gives her a quick peck on the lips and a hand squeeze and they exit the room together, Jamie taking her place beside Albert by the cash register and Dani stepping up behind the podium.

“I’d like to start by thanking everyone for coming this afternoon. We’re all here today to not only support a local author but to support a local independent business and we appreciate you choosing to support us. This shop is our home and our heart and though I’ve not been around as long as many as you have, I know how special it is and how special books are to all of us. Now let’s get to the reason why you’re all here. I’d like to introduce Stephen Bishop, best selling author who was born and raised right here in town. Stephen will be reading an excerpt to us today from his debut novel, Out With The Tides.”

Everyone in the room claps and as Dani steps down from the podium, Stephen slips in behind her and lets his hand swipe across her backside as he does. He gives her a sultry smile that leaves a bad taste in her mouth and steps up with his book in hand. 

“What an honour it is to be back in a place I once spent so much time in,” Stephen says. He opens his book to a bookmark and looks around the room then begins to read. “It was tiresome, being lonely. We don’t like to admit this to ourselves when trying our best to find peace within our own company but it is simply the truth. Loneliness is like the tide in that way. It comes and goes and even when we can’t feel it or see it, we know that it will come back to us at some point.”

Stephen is very engaging and everyone in the room is completely transfixed as he reads. If Dani were honest, she didn’t like his novel. It was full of cliches and unnecessary exposition. There was no singular voice and she felt he was trying too hard to be poetic but her opinion of the book doesn’t matter - all that matters are the opinions of the people listening to him intently, gazing at him with wonder and attraction. 

While he reads, Dani watches how he meets the eyes of many of the women seated before him and she understands how he has become as successful as he has in such a short amount of time. He can read the room and play into it completely. Jamie on the other hand isn’t watching him at all. In fact, all she can look at is Dani beside her. All she can focus on is just how incredible of a woman she is, how determined and headstrong, how kind and passionate. She gets caught staring when Dani glances in her direction and smiles her bright and beautiful smile, the one that had stopped Jamie in her tracks the very first time she ever saw it. 

“What?” Dani whispers

Jamie shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders. “Nothin’, sorry.”

No, not nothing. So many things. Everything. 

The reading concludes and the crowd disperses throughout the shop as Dani and Jamie pack up all the folding chairs and tuck them away behind the stairs. They set up a table in place of the podium and cover it with a deep red silk-like table cloth. Stephen takes his seat behind the table behind Caroline and one by one people make their way up the front of the table for a moment of conversation and an autograph on the inside front page of his novel. 

“He looks at women a little longer than he should, don’t ya think?” Jamie whispers in Dani’s ear as they watch women come and go, Stephen thanking them for coming and complimenting them in various ways. 

“I think he touched my ass on purpose when he came to the podium,” Dani replies and Jamie scowls and looks at her. 

“He did what now? Dani...if that twat made a move on you…”

“It’s fine. Well...it’s not fine. I think the guy is an overly quaffed slime ball whose book isn’t good but he’ll be out of here within an hour and Albert will have made a whole bunch of money for this bookstore. Stephen will get his fee for coming all this way and the three of us can go get a drink to celebrate the day's success.”

Once every book has been signed and Stephen Bishop has smiled his dimpled smile at every woman he can, the shop clears out and Caroline and Stephen stand by the wooden cash-out counter alongside Dani, Jamie, and Albert.

Albert hands Caroline a cheque for the appearance fee and Stephen focuses on Dani and only Dani. He pulls a card from his wallet and holds it out to her. She reluctantly accepts it and sets it aside, planning to drop it in the garbage can the moment she can. 

“If you’re ever in London, I’d love to get a drink and talk about literature. Feel free to use that number anytime you want. It’s my direct line.”

He winks and Dani’s skin crawls. She fakes a smile and shakes both his and Caroline’s hands and just before they leave, Stephen turns back to Albert and smiles. 

“You know, this is where I bought myself my first copy of a Shakespeare play. I still have it on a shelf in my flat. Such fond memories of this shop.”

Albert smiles but it’s not a kind smile, it’s a smile laced with mischief and he looks as though he’s lining up a gun, aiming and readying himself to take a shot. “Might have been the first book ya bought lad, but you stole from me twice before that when you were sixteen. I might be old but my memory is still as sharp as an ax and I don’t forget a thing like that.” 

Stephen’s smile disappears and he turns a little pale then spins on his heels and walks out of the shop. Caroline apologizes and thanks them all for their time then follows him out and Jamie locks the door behind them. She leans back against the glass and runs a hand through her hair.

“Well that was one bloody day, wasn’t it?”

“You knew him?” Dani’s eyes are wide and she crosses her arms and stares at Albert. “This whole time you knew who he was? I would never have arranged this whole thing if I knew he had stolen from you almost twenty years ago!”

“Nonsense, love. It was a long time ago and it was just fun to watch the boy squirm.”

“Right then.” Jamie pushes herself away from the door and slips her hands into the pockets of the jeans that Dani had pulled down her legs less than ten hours before. “Anyone for a pint? I say we head down to the pub for a celebratory drink in honour of all of Dani’s hard work. Think we could all use one.”

“Not me, loves, I’m knackered. You two go and enjoy yourselves.” Albert walks out from behind the counter and gives Dani a tight hug. “Proud of ya Dani, thank you for everything you’ve done in this place. You’ve made an old man very happy.”

Jamie watches on with adoration - the two most important people in her life so happy and fulfilled. It fills her heart with a kind of pride she can’t quite name. 

Albert glances in her direction and waves her over. He opens his arms so both she and Dani can hug him. “Ah, come on then. Get over here.”

Jamie grins and follows his order, joining them in the embrace. Dani locks eyes with Jamie and it feels like she’s truly become a part of this little family. Standing there in the middle of the bookshop wrapped up in their arms, she almost wants to cry. This place, a place she truly did stumble into, had never felt more like home.

___________

“Beer for you, whisky for me.”

Jamie sits down at the table beside the jukebox as Dani slips some coins into the machine and chooses a song. The first notes ring out and Jamie grins. _Ramones_.

"Cheers to Dani Clayton. She deserves every bit of praise." Jamie raises her glass and Dani takes a seat across from her and lifts her own pint glass. Laughing, she clinks their glasses together.

She sips her beer and looks around the pub, admiring the local people whose faces were becoming more and more familiar, admiring the old decor and the beer-soaked carpets. She moves her head a little in time with the music and she watches a woman throw a dart towards the dartboard, her friends cheering for her when it lands in the bullseye. “I’ve always liked this song.” 

“Ya know…” Jamie leans back in her seat and brings her whisky glass to her lips. “I might have been lookin’ for you the night I found you over here. I had just come down from my flat and saw you and as much as I was aching for a chat, I almost didn’t come over.”

“Why did you?” Dani asks, turning back to focus on her. 

Jamie drinks some whisky and puts her glass down. Dani is looking at her with anticipation, a smile building in the corners of her mouth. She remembers the smile on her face when they had first chosen a jukebox song together, the joy in her eyes. Still a stranger but becoming a friend. She had looked a little out of place, a little unsure of her surroundings in a brand new environment but she was happy and happiness looked beautiful on Dani. 

“You were a beacon of light in this old smoky pub. Everything else just sort of disappeared and there you were.”

The building smile becomes a full-blown beaming grin and Dani’s cheeks turn a rosy hue. “Wow,” she says. “My heart was beating out of my chest the whole time. I was so nervous. You were all I could think about when I went to bed that night.”

Jamie smirks and picks up her glass again. Across the pub, someone shouts at one of their mates when they walk in and Dani looks in their direction. Jamie sits forward in her chair, getting a little closer to her and when Dani looks back at her, their eyes lock. “And these days…” Jamie says just loud enough for Dani to hear. “Well, these days I know all about what you do when you think of me in your bed at night. Shown me once or twice, in fact. Put on quite a show.”

“Jamie…” Dani swallows, her pulse quickening. “Can we go upstairs?” 

Together they walk into Jamie’s dark apartment and she flicks on a small lamp beside the couch. Dani can’t help herself and she tugs on Jamie’s shirt and pulls her down onto the couch. They land in a heap of tangled limbs, hearts beating fast and lips chasing every inch of bare skin they can find. Dani turns her head to allow Jamie more access to her neck and she briefly opens her eyes, spotting her copy of The Secret Garden sticking out of Jamie’s backpack tucked beside the coffee table. She had her own copy but chose to read Dani’s instead. 

Something about the fact that she has been carrying it around with her, holding it close, keeping such an important piece of her within arm's reach makes Dani’s heart burst at the seams. 

“Jamie,” she whispers as the brunette sucks on the skin just below her ear. 

“Dani,” Jamie replies. 

“Jamie,” Dani says her name again but it sounds thicker. There’s more weight to it. It means something more and Jamie lifts her head to find Dani looking at her in a way she is certain she never has before.

“I love you.”

Three words. Three small words that steal the air right out of Jamie’s lungs. Three small words that no one has said to her in a very long time, and when they had, they had surely never meant it the way she knows Dani does. 

“I love you,” Dani says again and Jamie’s head finally catches up to her furiously beating heart.

“You...you mean it?” She asks, her voice cracking slightly, breath ragged. 

Dani knows how important the words are, knows what they mean to the woman above her who had come from a world where no one wanted her to a world where she is wanted more than anything. 

“I’ve never meant anything more.”

“I love you too,” Jamie says. “And I wanted to say it first but you beat me to it. Thanks for that.”

Laughter fills the living room and Dani sheepishly grins. She had won the race. “Sorry.”

Jamie leans down and kisses her sweetly. Sweeter than she ever has. It’s the kind of kiss that makes you wonder if anything in life could ever be better. 

When they pull apart, Jamie lifts up slightly again and Dani raises a hand to brush some soft brown locks behind her ear. “Say it again?” Jamie asks and Dani would never deny her of such a request. Saying those three words now is so damn easy and they taste like honey in her mouth.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some big things are going to be happening within the next couple of chapters and I can't wait to share them with you, I think you'll be pretty into it. (Or at least I HOPE so). Thank you for reading and supporting this story. You're all pretty darn rad.


	11. I Carry Your Heart With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely comments I received on the last chapter just made my day each time I got to read one. This story seems to truly be such a comfort to those who are reading and it's just as much of a comfort to me as I write it and I love bringing it to life. Life is tough these days and this story is a beautiful escape for me. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me and please enjoy the new chapter. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts. x

She’s walked past this more times than she can count. It’s right next store for crying out loud. How the hell had she missed it up until today? The storefront beside the bookshop. The very, very vacant storefront beside the bookshop with newspaper covering up most of the windows. Most, but not all. She’s not sure why today she stopped in front of it, why it caught her eye, but Dani cups her eyes and presses against the glass, peering inside. From what she can tell through a small sliver of uncovered glass, it’s a large space with windows in the back that provide just as much light as the large windows in the front. There are built-in shelves along the right-hand wall, the one shared with the bookshop, and exposed brick on the other wall as well as exposed pipes along the ceiling above. 

Dani can imagine it - the space filled with plants; tall potted ferns and colourful flowers, hanging baskets and lush greenery everywhere. A more curated version of Jamie’s greenhouse. A place to truly bring things to life, nurture them, pour her energy into them. A place that is truly her own. She can see her inside, cutting fresh flowers and preparing bouquets, watering plants, and trimming leaves. She can see it all. 

_The Leafling._

She steps away from the window and walks a few feet to the door into the bookshop and she pulls a set of keys out from her bag and unlocks the door then walks inside. It’s a beautiful spring day and warm light floods the front half of the shop. Speckles of dust drift throughout the rays of light and the plants on the shelves to the right of the windowsill seem to come alive after a night spent in the shadows. Dani starts the day by removing all of the advertising for the author signing and tosses it all in the trash, very keen on getting that man’s name out of her head entirely. The few copies of his book they have left find their way onto a shelf towards the back of the store and Dani redoes the window with a selection of children’s novels that have bright and colourful covers. Fitting for late spring, enticing any child who may walk by to ask to step inside for a book. When she’s finished she walks outside and looks at her set-up, pleased with how quickly it had come together. She startles when a pair of arms suddenly slip around her waist. 

“Beautiful.”

Dani could pick the voice out of a crowd full of people and she immediately smiles, leaning back into the strong arms that hold her. 

“You think so?” 

“Mmm, sure do. The window display...you. Think I prefer you though. Missed ya this morning.”

Dani closes her eyes and breathes in the fresh spring air and puts her hands on top of Jamie’s on her waist. “You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you.”

Jamie brushes some hair aside from Dani’s neck and kisses a patch of exposed skin quickly before dropping her arms from her waist. She’s wearing a light yellow sundress and a lavender coloured cardigan and Jamie’s eyes travel the expanse of her body. She nods towards the door and they both head inside. Jamie locks the door behind them then takes Dani’s hand and leads her towards the back of the store and around one of the shelves, completely out of sight. She backs Dani up against it and when she laughs, the sweet sound floats right to Jamie’s heart. 

“Can’t give you a good mornin’ kiss if you’re not in the bed beside me when I wake up, now can I?”

“You have a good point.” Dani grins, slipping her fingers into the belt loops of Jamie’s denim and tugging her even closer. 

“Albert been down into the shop yet today?”

Dani furrows her brow and shakes her head. “Tease. I thought you were going to kiss me and now you’re asking about Albert?”

“That’s the thing though,” Jamie says, nuzzling her nose against Dani’s. “I want to do more than just kiss you.” She slides a hand up the side of Dani’s leg, pushing up the bottom hem of her dress. Her fingers slowly dance across bare skin towards her inner thigh and Dani’s breath hitches. 

“Jamie…”

“I’ll stop if you tell me to stop, but I reckon you don’t want me to,” Jamie replies as she licks her lips and looks into Dani’s eyes. 

“What if we - “

Jamie cuts Dani off by kissing her and Dani sinks into the body pressed against hers, giving in completely. “We won’t,” she says when she pulls back. “We’ll hear the sound if a certain someone stumbles down those stairs and I’ll just step back and let your very pretty little dress fall back into place.” 

Deft fingers softly stroke the peach skin on her thigh and when Dani pushes her hips forward, Jamie knows she’s been given permission to do what she’s been thinking about since she woke up that morning without the blonde beside her in the bed. Dani never thought she’d be this person, letting someone have their way with her in her place of work but Jamie is undeniable and the whole act has her more turned on than she’d care to admit. Much to Jamie’s delight, Dani doesn’t have to admit anything because when she rubs her finger across the blonde’s damp cotton underwear, it says enough. 

“Bit eager are we, baby?” Jamie whispers. Dani closes her eyes and parts her lips, rocking her hips against Jamie’s hand and the slight added pressure causes a soft, quiet whimper to fall from her lips. She swears that no one has ever sounded better saying _baby_ than Jamie does and the word paired with Jamie’s accent lands right between her legs, where Jamie’s skilled hand is barely brushing across the fabric. 

Keeping her gaze fixed on Dani’s face, Jamie removes her hand from the outside of Dani’s underwear but Dani doesn’t get a chance to protest before that same hand slips inside, below the waistband to resumes its place against slick heat. 

“Oh...Jamie.” Dani swallows as Jamie’s finger finds the sensitive spot it has so many times now. She assumes Jamie will go slow, drag her along, make her work for it, but that same finger very quickly builds up an eager and steady pace as it begins to rub in a circular motion between her legs.

Jamie ducks her head to Dani’s neck and kisses her then raises her lips to her ear. “I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart,” she whispers, never slowing the work of her hand below Dani’s dress. “Been readin’ the work of some of the writers you mention. Always scribble ‘em down, the names on a scrap of paper when you’re not looking. Quite fond of that line. E.E Cummings? Well, that old bloke really did have a way with words.”

This is one fantasy that Dani has never had. This isn’t something she’s imagined when trying to fall asleep at night, picturing Jamie’s face in her head, because she knows that no fantasy would ever beat the real thing. The real thing is indescribable.

The woman you love whispering poetry into your ear while her hand eagerly moves between your thighs isn’t exactly something you anticipate happening but it _is_ happening and all Dani can do is lift her own hands up to cup Jamie’s face, pulling their lips back together in a heated kiss. Her moans of pleasure disappear into a hungry mouth and when Jamie’s finger moves from the place it had taken up residence to slide down lower, dipping inside, Dani is certain her knees are going to give out. She’s positive in fact and Jamie can sense this, using her free hand to grip her waist and keep her up against the shelves, pushing into her more. Her abdominal muscles begin to tighten as Jamie finds another steady rhythm with her finger and when her palm pushes against the sensitive spot where her finger just was, Dani pulls her lips from Jamie’s and her head falls forward against her shoulder. 

“Don’t...don’t stop. Fuck, Jamie. Don’t stop.”

Jamie isn’t usually one for being told what to do, or rather what not to do, but she makes exceptions with Dani and happily obliges by quickening her already fast pace. Dani’s legs start to tremble and she gently bites down on Jamie’s shoulder in an attempt to quiet another moan that would surely travel around the shop, falling on any set of nearby ears. She’s tumbling towards the edge, towards the crest of a wave she has become addicted to riding and she can feel her body start to tense, the familiar and delicious feeling of release growing closer and closer until - 

Jamie brings her lips back to just below her ear and sucks on the skin for a moment before lifting her lips to the shell of her ear. “I carry your heart with me,” she says, repeating her earlier words. “I carry it in my heart.”

When she hears those sweet words once again, whispered into her ear by the one person who has captured her heart in ways she can’t describe no matter how hard she tries, Dani falls apart completely and comes against Jamie’s hand. She comes as she’s pressed into the shelves full of books that she suddenly can’t remember the names of but she doesn’t care. All she cares about is Jamie. All she can see is Jamie. All she can feel is Jamie. Her chest heaves and Jamie slows her hand then cautiously slips it out of her underwear and fixes her dress so it drops down from it’s bunched up position around her waist, falling just above her knees.

“Jesus,” Dani mutters as she catches her breath. It wasn’t at all how she had expected to start her day but learning to expect the unexpected is something she had begun to embrace with Jamie by her side and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it because she did. 

“You alright?” Jamie smiles and Dani lifts her head at the question. Their eyes lock and she grins, shaking her head in slight disbelief.

“I can’t believe that just happened.”

“Can’t believe I made you -“

“No, no, not that. You are…” As she thinks about it again she feels a twitch between her legs and licks her lips. “Jamie, you are very good at that and now I won’t be able to think about anything else for the rest of the day. What I can’t believe is that just happened here in the shop, across from a shelf with Dr. Seuss books on it.”

Jamie searches Dani’s eyes for uncertainty, for doubt, needing to know what they had just done isn’t something she somehow pressured her into. “Doesn’t have to ever happen again if you didn’t enjoy it. Don’t want you to be uncomfortable and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

“Hey,” Dani says. “If I wanted you to stop...I would have pulled your hand out from between my own legs.”

“You’re sure?” 

“I…” Dani leans into her as though she’s going to kiss her but she stops just before their lips touch, “am so, so sure.”

The sound of stairs creaking echoes throughout the store and they quietly laugh together before Jamie kisses Dani one last time. It’s sweet and hopeful and perfect. “I love you,” she says against her lips with a smile, and Dani cups her cheek, eyes shining and bright. 

“I love you too.”

“Dani?” Albert’s voice rings out and Jamie steps away from her and winks. Dani rechecks her dress to make sure she’s presentable and together they walk out from their hidden spot, finding him leaning against the long wooden counter. 

“Ey up, boss,” Jamie says.

He spins around and a big smile spreads across his face as Jamie approaches him with her hands in her pockets.

“Jamie, love, what are ya doing here so early?”

Her eyes flick over to Dani then she nods towards one of the plants sitting beside the cash register. “Came to check on these little darlin’s before heading off to work. Figured they needed a bit of a waterin’ today. Needed my skilled touch, needed to be a bit wet. Right, Dani?”

Jamie looks in her direction again and a blush spreads across her cheeks, one she’s certain Albert can very plainly see. She crosses one leg over the other, squeezing her thighs together, and nods in agreement.

Albert just shrugs. “Right, course. Couldn’t keep ‘em all alive without you. Though Dani certainly tries.”

“She sure does.” Jamie pulls her hands from her pockets and puts one on the small of Dani’s back then kisses her on the cheek. “Right then, I’ll see you lot later. Hope you sell lots of books today, bet Dani’s new window work will draw in all the little gremlins.”

“I’ll see you tonight?” Dani says as Jamie lovingly squeezes Albert’s arm and heads towards the door. 

“Sure will,” she says as she pushes open the door. She looks back over her shoulder and smiles. “Love you.” 

The blush on Dani’s cheeks grows as the door closes and Jamie disappears out of sight. Albert raises an eyebrow and glances at her, a warm smile still on his face. 

“Oh, to be young and in love. People write books about that, y’know.”

“I do know that actually.” Dani grins, nodding. “Think we might even sell a few of them here. What a coincidence?”

___________

Jamie collapses onto the couch in Dani’s apartment after another long day of work. Her body is sore and Dani hands her a cup of tea as she sits down beside her. 

“Can I trust this?” Jamie narrows her eyes and half-smiles, joking. 

“I think it’s my best cup yet,” Dani replies. “And I promise that it will not kill you.”

“Big promise.” Jamie brings the cup to her lips and takes a sip. The warm comfort that a good cup of tea can provide settles over her body and she hums in approval. 

“So...do I get the ‘tea is in my blood’ stamp of approval?”

“Hmm...might need more than just a cuppa to earn that. It’s a high honour, Dani.”

“Fine,” Dani says nonchalantly, pretending not to care. “I hope you enjoy the couch tonight because, without that stamp, you can’t join me in my bed.”

“Dani Clayton! You wouldn’t dare banish the woman you love to the sofa for a whole night.”

“The woman I love would pretend to like any cup of tea I make her, even if it’s bad.”

Joking this way, tossing the word love around in such a simple way, feels right. It feels natural. Their relationship had grown in the most organic way and now as they sit together in Dani’s flat with a word they had both ached to say for so long spilling from their lips as though it hadn’t overwhelmed their thoughts for weeks is the easiest thing in the world. It’s as if the universe knew they both really did need someone to fill the empty spaces in their lives, the dark spaces, and because of it their paths crossed. 

Jamie puts her teacup down on the table and places her hand on Dani’s thigh, still bare thanks to the dress she hadn’t yet changed out of.

“You know I’m only jokin’. And you were right, it is the best cup you’ve made. Thank you for making it for me, I needed it.”

Dani’s look of disinterest changes to a smile and she cups Jamie’s cheek and leans in to kiss her. It’s delicate and she can faintly taste the tea on her lips, slightly sweet because of the sugar. When she pulls away from Jamie, she leans back against the couch and Jamie grins. 

“How have you been feeling lately about the...letter?”

“Well,” Jamie says, running a hand through her hair then dropping her hand to her lap. She glances down at it and without even needing to ask for anything, Dani slides hers between them and links their fingers together. “Spend a lot of time on my own out in those gardens and I have actually been giving it some thought.”

“You have?”

“I’m not that same sixteen year old who ran away back then. I was a prat and thought I knew better, and for the most part I did. I knew I deserved better, and I worked hard, found the better life I deserved, but…”

“You don’t have to rush it, you know that right? You don’t even have to do anything with it at all.”

Jamie looks at Dani and finds gentle concern on her face, a cautious curiosity laced with love. She truly had found that better life and she was living it. That better life gave her Dani and without her, she doesn’t know where that letter would have left her, how she would have dealt with it, what cracks she might have slipped into if she had to do it on her own.

“I know this might sound a bit mad but I think I want to write back. Don’t think I’m anywhere close to being in a place for more, but writing her back doesn’t seem totally mental, right?” She’s looking at Dani and almost waiting for an answer, though she knows only she can answer that question for herself. She knows Dani won’t make a choice for her but will help her find what feels right and support her with what she chooses. “Decent enough way to let her know how I feel without any strings.”

“I think,” Dani says, giving her hand a slight reassuring squeeze. “That you’ve put a lot of thought into it and it sounds like you’ve made your mind up. Writing her back is a great next step if you want a next step. But I didn’t see a return address on the envelope, where would you even send it?”

“Ah, yeah, don’t think she’d ever leave that hole in the wall we called home, especially without dear old dad. Pretty sure the address won’t have changed from when I was a kid.”

“I’m proud of you,” Dani says. “I’m proud of how far you’ve come and what you’ve built for yourself. I can see how much it matters to you to hold on to it all, to not let the past taint any of it now.”

Jamie didn’t want to cry again but the words, one’s that she is still isn’t used to hearing, crack her strong resolve and she wipes away a stray tear before it has the chance to roll down her cheek. 

“Oh Jamie, I’m sorry. Hey, I’m sorry, don’t cry.” Dani shuffles in closer to her and cups her face, swiping her thumbs under her eyes. 

“God, I sure am a real bloody mess these days, aren’t I?” Jamie laughs at herself and Dani shakes her head. 

“If you’re a mess then you’re my mess and I think you’re beautiful.”

Another pesky tear slips out but Dani quickly catches it with her thumb, stopping it from getting the chance to streak its way down Jamie’s cheek and Jamie leans into Dani’s touch, soaking up every ounce of comfort that radiates off of her. 

“I love you,” Jamie says. “I know I’m sayin’ it a lot now because I can, but I really do mean it, Dani. I love you.”

Dani smiles, a big and bright beautiful smile, one that makes Jamie feel warm and a little lightheaded in the best way. “You can never say it too many times when you mean it this much, right? Because I love you too and I don’t want to stop saying it.”

Jamie’s eyes dart down to Dani’s lips and then in the blink of an eye, the bat of eyelashes, they’re kissing and it's as though all of their wrongs in life are righted in the simplicity of one delightful kiss. The slight weight on Jamie’s shoulders from the talk of her mother and the letter she received just melts away as Dani cups the back of her neck and slides fingers up into her hair. The kiss deepens unintentionally, as it often does, and when Dani needs to resurface for a breath, she doesn’t go far and rests her forehead against Jamie’s. 

“How about...we go take a shower to wash off your day and then I make us some dinner?”

“Sounds like a brilliant idea.”

Dani turns the shower on and lets the bathroom fill with steam and they both strip off their clothes, trying not to get distracted by each other's bodies and every inch of exposed skin, knowing they could just as easily not even make it into the shower. When the hot water lands against their skin it makes them both moan in approval and appreciation. If bathing together had a certain level of intimacy to it, showering together is a different story, a new one they are writing as they go along. Dani squeezes some shampoo onto her hands, her own scent that Jamie has come to love.

There had been times after Dani had left her flat when she would unashamedly pull the pillow she slept on close so she could inhale her scent, not wanting to lose her to the day entirely quite yet and now, the same scent will be in her own hair as Dani lifts soapy hands to her scalp and begins to massage in the shampoo. It’s such a simple act but Jamie thinks that she has never been closer to another soul in her entire life at this moment and Dani savours every second of getting to take care of her, of comforting her. Fingers brush shampoo through her hair and scrape across her scalp in the most relaxing way and she shuts her eyes, getting a little lost in the sensation of it all. 

When her hair is lathered and rinsed, Dani pours some of her body wash onto a loofah and rubs it across her chest and over her shoulders, down her thighs, and along her back, ridding her of the dried sweat and dirt from her hard day of work, ridding her of any bit of stress or worry with every touch. Jamie keeps her eyes on Dani’s as her hands glide across her body and when all of the soap has been washed away, they switch places and Jamie starts the whole process over again but on Dani’s body. When they’re both washed and clean, Jamie spends a minute or two kissing Dani against the cold shower tile, not able to let the opportunity to capture her lips disappear down the drain with the shampoo and then Dani pulls her back under the stream of hot water, hugging her close. They stay this way until the water begins to run cold, saying nothing and not wanting to pull away from the warmth they share.

___________

Work on the estate had been piling on and Jamie was almost beginning to wish it didn’t all fall on her to finish but that thought was just a quick flash through her mind when she noticed some buds on a few of the new rose bushes she had planted. Her tasks sometimes felt like too much work until she saw the payoff and then it felt like it had taken no effort at all. When all was said and done she was happy to be able to do work that allowed her to keep her hands and her mind busy, work that had meaning. 

More and more though, her body was starting to feel the long days in the rain and sun, arms deep in the soil and getting snagged on thorns. _I should ask for a few days off,_ she thinks as she enters her greenhouse in search of her first aid kit, needing to patch up a couple of small bloody scratches on her arm. Nothing to worry herself about but enough to need some care, enough for Dani to surely notice and make a fuss. If Jamie were honest, she certainly wouldn’t mind the care Dani would most definitely give her. 

On her drive home that day, she goes past the gravel road that leads to the stone church building and an idea pops into her head. It’s not quite warm enough in their part of England to spend all night out by the building but a few hours spent tending to her garden around the building followed by some time under the stars, wrapped up in blankets and Dani sounds wonderful and she makes a mental note to soon put that plan into action. If she were lucky, the timing might work and Albert will have gotten her the book. No better place to present someone with a copy of their favourite book than in a place they said reminded them of it. 

Back at the bookstore, Dani says goodbye to their last customer of the day. They had purchased a copy of The Great Gatsby and she wrapped it in paper with a blue ribbon so it would be ready to be given as a thoughtful gift for someone who loved to read. 

"Quite a glamourous story," she had said to the customer as she wrapped it. 

"She's read it before but I do this thing where anytime I see a copy with different artwork, I make a point of buying it. Few pounds now and then on a book is money well spent and this was perfect timing with my sisters birthday coming up," replied a young man in his early twenties. 

Dani had smiled warmly as she slid the book across the counter and accepted his money. "I couldn't agree more and I hope she enjoys her new copy."

She flips the open sign to closed and locks the door. She hasn’t been able to shake thoughts of the vacant space next door all afternoon and after a busy afternoon, she finds herself in a moment of stillness with a chance to press Albert for any information he may have. 

Albert finishes counting the money in their cash register and Dani crosses her arms as she makes her way towards the staircase. She sits on one of the bottom steps and looks to Albert, watching him as he writes something down then pushes the cash tray back into the register. 

“What do you know about the place next door?”

Albert glances up at her briefly then looks back down at his pad of paper. “Not much. Been empty for years, don’t even know who really owns the place. Nice though, lots of light. Lots of character.”

“Huh.”

“Why do you ask, love?” He looks up at her again. “What’s on your mind?”

“Oh, just genuine curiosity. Can’t help myself. Took a peek in through the window the other day and it looked interesting.”

“You planning on nicking all my books and opening up your own shop next door or somethin’?”

“You caught me,” Dani says, standing and walking over to him. “My plan is ruined! Damn you.”

Albert chuckles and closes the ledger on the desk containing the daily sales information for the shop and places it underneath the counter. “I’d imagine it’s going for pretty cheap considering how long it’s been vacant.”

Dani purses her lips and taps a knuckle against the wood, nodding her head in agreement with him.”Right, right, good to know. Do you happen to know who I would speak to if I wanted to say...I don’t know...get inside to look around?”

“Offhand I don’t but I can ask around...you sure you’re not going to run me out of business with Dani Clayton’s own book shop? You’ll break an old man’s heart ya know. No one will come to see me when you’re right next door.”

“Albert.” Dani smiles and puts her hands on top of his. “There would be no bookshop without you. I’m not going anywhere, I truly am just curious is all and I know someone who might like it.”

“Believe you also mentioned earlier today that you were meeting that same someone you know for drinks ‘round the pub at 6:30 tonight, that right?” He smiles and walks out from behind the counter. “Give my love to our Jamie.”

 _Our Jamie_. He’s said this before but Dani still loves the way it sounds. The way it feels in her chest. Can’t sneak anything by him. Smarter than both of them combined and Dani knows it. She nods her head, steps up on her toes and kisses him on the cheek then quickly goes into the room behind the staircase to get her jacket and bag. 

“But I don't know which person you're referring to and why they'd need the space," she says when she walks out of the room wearing her jacket. "And I will see you tomorrow and we’ll discuss my plans to open my own bookselling business since you’re convinced that’s what I’m doing.”

Albert laughs and ushers her towards the door. Once she's out in the street, she stands in front of the vacant storefront next door, desperately wanting to rip the paper from the windows to allow a better look inside. Until she can find a way in, her imagination will have to continue doing the work. 

When he’s sure that Dani is gone from the sidewalk outside, Albert stands alone in the centre of his shop and looks around. What a life he’s lived within these walls, within these stories, within all of the stories he’s helped other people write the moment they’ve stepped inside. He starts to cough and stumbles towards the counter to steady himself, no longer the agile man he once was. Things were changing, he was changing, and he needed to start being realistic about what he could and could no longer handle. He hasn’t yet let anyone in on the problems with his health but he knows it will soon reach a point when he can’t deny it any longer. Dani showing up when she did had always felt like fate, like it was written in the stars, and as he coughs again and takes a deep breath, he believes it more than he ever has.

___________

Jamie isn’t in the pub when Dani sits down at the bar but not long after ordering herself a drink, she takes a seat on a barstool beside her, kissing her on the cheek then raising a hand to signal their friend the bartender. 

“Hope I didn’t keep ya waitin’, was just upstairs changing.”

“I’ve barely been by here five minutes,” Dani says, slipping a hand onto Jamie’s thigh. They’re like this fairly often, physical with one another without being too obvious. Always needing some sort of contact and seeking it out immediately as a sense of comfort, drawn together naturally as they have been since the moment they met. 

“Ah, you’re a star, mate,” Jamie says when a glass of whisky is placed in front of her. She reaches into her pocket to pull out some bills but Dani stops her. 

“Let me buy tonight, please?”

“Dani, I don’t mind, really I -“

“Jamie. Let me buy tonight.”

“Yeah, alright.” Jamie smiles and gives in to Dani’s request, allowing her to get the money they need from her own purse. 

“Was that so hard?” Dani picks up her G&T, a change from her usual pint glass filled with beer and the drink choice isn’t lost on Jamie as she clinks her own glass against Dani’s.

Unbeknownst to them, someone across the bar is watching them intently as they chat and laugh, leaning into one another in a way they always naturally seem to do. Jamie whispers something into Dani’s ear and she ducks her gaze down shyly, having been told something that made her blush. When Jamie finishes her whisky and Dani tosses back the last bit of hers, they stand and thank the bartender but instead of disappearing into the stairwell that leads up to Jamie’s flat, they leave the pub to go back to Dani’s. The person who had been watching them gets up from their seat and follows them out onto the cobblestone street. 

“Oi, lesbians,” a male voice shouts at them just as they’re about to cross the street.

They stop in their tracks at the sound of the deep voice, one that Jamie recognizes even as the words are slurred and she grinds her teeth and spins around to find their friend from a couple of weeks before, the one who had put his hands on Dani by the bar, stumbling towards them.

 _I'm going to fucking kill this piece of rubbish,_ she thinks. 

“That’s what you bloody are, yeah? Lesbians. Should've known when you came to her rescue. Nearly broke my nose y’know?”

“Are we having this conversation again, mate? You want me to break it for real this time?” Dani steps behind Jamie as the drunken man gets closer. He’s barely able to stay on his feet and a few other people exit the pub to light a cigarette, watching the scene with a new interest as it unfolds, unable to ignore it as the volume of their voices begins to raise. 

“Disgusting, y’know that right?” He points at them and spits on the ground beside Jamie’s feet. “You...you two. Filthy.”

“You’re a mess, go home, sleep it off and leave us the fuck alone.”

“Oh, you want me to leave you alone, yeah? Not bloody likely, lesbians. You made me look like a pussy.”

“Christ, is this what you do for fun? Get smashed and follow women out of pubs? Doesn’t look too good for you, mate. Might want to sort out your priorities.” 

One of the people standing outside the pub entrance steps off the sidewalk and starts to walk towards them with a concerned look. “Everything alright? This guy giving you a hard time?”

“Ey, piss off, mind your business,” the drunk man shouts over his shoulder. He looks back at Dani and Jamie and takes another step closer to them, raising a hand as if to hit Jamie but Dani steps around in front of her and puts herself in his path. Without even thinking, she kicks him in the crotch harder than she’s ever kicked anything in her life and his eyes shut as he crumples to the ground, groaning in pain. The group gathered outside the pub all laugh and cheer as Dani smiles. 

“All good here now,” she says to the group and the concerned person who had asked if they needed help. “Just had to take out the trash. Tell the bartender to keep this asshole out of the pub because he threatens women, okay? Have a good night!”

Dani grabs Jamie’s hand and spins on her heels, dragging them away from the scene that had just unfolded, leaving the man to himself in a pile on the cobbles. There’s a pep in her step and a newfound confidence that Jamie has never seen before and it makes her feel a multitude of things. Proud, lovestruck, turned on. 

“Jesus, Dani,” Jamie mutters, shooting one last look back over her shoulder as the pub and the man on the ground get farther and farther away as they walk. 

“He was a twat.”

“A twat?” Jamie smirks. “Someone’s been picking up the local language I see.”

Dani shrugs and laughs and they turn onto another street and approach her apartment building. When they get up to her door, Dani digs around in her purse for her keys and nearly drops them when Jamie pins her against the door.

“That was very sexy,” she whispers. “You takin’ charge like that.”

“I’m stronger than I look,” Dani replies. Her words are thick and laced with a lust that Jamie does not expect. 

She steps back and allows Dani to unlock the door and once they’re inside they fumble their way into Dani’s bedroom, losing pieces of clothing as they walk, kissing and desperate for bare skin. An hour later, they stand in Dani’s small kitchen as music plays from her record player in the corner of the room. She pours them each a glass of wine and they lean against the kitchen counter, Dani wearing only a t-shirt and Jamie wearing only a red flannel shirt she knows Dani had worn home one morning, not wanting to give it back because it smelled like her.

“Is that something you’ve had to deal with a lot?” Dani asks. 

“Drunk blokes in pubs?” 

“People making comments, saying awful things because of your sexuality.”

“Ah.” Jamie scratches her forehead and takes a sip of her wine then nods her head. “Definitely heard a few things in my life that don’t feel too great but lesbian isn’t a bad word, Dani.” 

“Oh I didn’t mean, I know -“

“I know. And I also know that this is all still new to you and that’s okay. I’m sorry you had to deal with that tonight. I’m sorry we have to deal with anything like that at all. Not fair on anyone.”

“People should get to love who they love without judgment. It shouldn’t matter as long as they’re happy, safe.”

Jamie sets her glass down and brushes some blonde hair behind Dani’s ear. There’s a hint of sadness in her eyes that hadn’t been there before and she strokes her cheek. “I take it some people in your life weren’t too keen on the whole being attracted to women thing.”

Dani shakes her head and drops her gaze. “And it’s not as if I was ever super close with my mom, I just always thought she’d love me for me, no matter what. I think she always thought that because her marriage had been so messy that I’d get some redemption with the marriage proposed to me and when I said no, when I said I had to go and live my life the way I knew in my heart I needed to, she wasn’t thrilled. About any of it. Said I was going against everything she had worked so hard for me to have, except she used one or two words that weren’t quite so kind.”

“Don’t suppose either of our Mum's will be winning a mother of the year award anytime soon,” Jamie says and it makes Dani laugh a little bit. “You miss her though.”

“Yeah.” Dani takes a deep breath, letting herself really feel the air as her lungs expand. She stands up straighter and shifts her weight from one foot to another and Jamie studies her, watching for any change in expression. “God, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m bringing this up now. This is such a strange time to talk about this after everything that happened tonight.”

“After you gave me a mind-blowing orgasm?” Jamie says it makes Dani smile and roll her eyes. “Or after you kicked some drunk in the dick?”

“Jamie!” Dani laughs again but this time it’s full and it fills the room. She gently swats at Jamie’s shoulder and Jamie responds by stepping closer to her. 

“You can’t help your feelings, Dani. It’s okay to be feeling everything you’re feeling right now and you can talk to me about it anytime you need to. You miss your Mum, that’s a fact. You don’t have to judge yourself for it or question it. You’re human and one of the things I love the most about you is how much you feel. How much you care.”

The record spinning on the record player reaches the end of its first side and the familiar crackling static sound rings out as it spins without music to play. Jamie walks across the room and lifts the arm and flips the record over and positions the arm back at the first song. A slow, and soft piece of music begins to play and the notes of a piano seem to pour out, floating around them. She walks into the centre of the room and holds out her hand. 

“Dance with me?”

Dani takes a drink of her wine and shakes her head. “No way. I’m not much of a dancer.”

“Please?”

She looks so hopeful in the dim light of the living room with a smile so inviting that Dani, despite wanting to refuse again, has no choice but to agree. She puts her glass of wine down and pads across the floor to Jamie who takes her hand and effortlessly spins her around. She doesn’t know what exactly the music is, having picked up a collection of assorted vinyl from the local charity shop just to have music in her flat but it’s light and airy, fitting for a quiet intimate moment between them. Jamie puts a hand around her waist and pulls her close and they begin to gently sway. They're barely dressed but neither of them cares, so comfortable in each other's company now that it never mattered what they were or weren't wearing when they were together. 

Dani looks into Jamie’s eyes and finds a universe she’s never explored before, a world of possibility and magic. She’s amazed at how one person can hold so much within themselves and even more amazed by the fact that this extraordinary person has gone through so much in their life just to come out on the other side without hard edges, but a soft heart and a kind, gentle soul. 

“Do you believe in things happening for a reason?”

“I never used to,” Jamie says and Dani’s big blue eyes flutter, willing her to continue. “But these days I do. These days I believe in a lot of things I never used to believe in.”

“Like what?”

_Love. A person feeling like a home. Allowing yourself to be truly and wonderfully happy._

“For a long time I thought I’d just be alone, I was comfortable with my own company, or I tricked myself into believin’ I was. The day I walked into Albert’s shop and saw you, I knew I was just foolin’ myself. You’ve changed my mind about a load of things.”

It’s not the answer Dani expects to hear, so heartfelt and honest, but it’s the one she needs to hear and she smiles, closing her eyes and dropping her head to Jamie’s shoulder. 

“I feel the same way,” Dani whispers. 

“Don’t think I’d let the universe fuck this thing up. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and that’s not something I say lightly.” 

Dani lifts her head and Jamie is beaming, a beautiful smile on her face that is reserved for her and her alone. “We are so sappy, aren’t we?”

“And I wouldn’t change a bloody thing about it.”

Dani leans in and kisses her, letting her hand cup the back of her neck then slide up into brown curls. When they pull away from the kiss, Jamie holds her closer and breathes her in, letting the scent she’s come to adore fill her senses. Letting Dani fall over her in every way she can. 

“There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be,” Jamie says.

“And which one of the writers that I’ve mentioned said that?” Dani asks with a sly grin.

Jamie spins them around again, dipping Dani down and floating her back up. “None of them. That was John Lennon. Poet in his own right.”

“He was a very wise man.” 

“Definitely had his moments, that one.”

They dance a little bit longer until the heaviness of the day, work, and the events outside the pub start to make them tired and Jamie spins Dani once last time, pulling her in as close as she can. 

“Thank you for dancing with me,” she says and Dani blushes. 

“Thank you for asking me to dance. I’m sorry that I’m so bad at it.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Dani.”

Rain begins to fall outside and it lands against the window in the living room heavily, adding to the atmosphere in the small but cozy space. It feels like a scene from a film, two lovers lost in each other while a storm rages on the outside but together they are safe, warm, and happier than two people have ever been before. As if on cue, the second side of the record plays out the final notes and there’s static again. 

Looking at Jamie in the place that has become her home, knowing that without her it wouldn’t feel quite the same way, Dani realizes that any place without her feels empty now. It feels dark. Lonely. Without even realizing what she’s really asking, there are words tumbling from her lips and she doesn’t care if they’re being said too soon or if posing the question is rushing things between them. All she knows is what her heart feels, what it wants, and Jamie is a part of all of it. _Take a shot,_ her heart screams at her. _Life is short, happiness can be hard to find, and love is rare._

“Move in with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t planning on posting this until tomorrow BUT it was finished and we all deserve a bit of comfort reading when we can get it, right? ❤️


	12. You Are My Wildflower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for your wonderful comments and the support you give this story. It's such a joy to hear your thoughts and it means a lot that you share them with me!
> 
> I didn't intend on making this chapter as long as it is but I knew what I wanted to do with it and it just sort of got away from me. I considered trimming it down when I finished writing it but I really enjoyed what I wrote and thought (hoped) you would too. 
> 
> Happy reading! x

There will always be someone who thinks you can’t do something, thinks you can’t grow but the beautiful thing about human beings is how capable they are. How strong. How resilient. No one ever expects us to grow in the places where things shouldn’t grow. Wildflowers are like this, popping up between cracks in the pavement, blooming in the places where most things can’t bloom, always finding a way to see the light, a way to survive.

Jamie is a wildflower. A survivor, a fighter, and so beautiful. Dani had never truly appreciated things in her life this way before, realizing she simply had lived her life day by day without ever taking the time to breathe in the fresh air and really feel it fill her lungs. Never noticing the way that plants crane themselves towards the sun in search of light, not appreciating the way it smells after it rains. Since meeting Jamie, she discovers this about herself and wonders just how much of her life had passed her by without recognizing these small things as what they can be if we allow them to be; extraordinary. For someone who had spent so much of her life with her nose buried between the pages of stories that were filled with this kind of beauty, she had overlooked a lot of what existed around her in the real world.

Jamie...Jamie had become the wildflower in her life that showed her what it meant to really appreciate things and when she rolls over in her bed the morning after asking her to move in, the image of Jamie sleeping peacefully beside her is a reminder of this. She looks softer in the morning. Peaceful and safe. The quiet sound of the inhale and exhale of her breath keeps the slight nerves Dani feels at bay as she remembers how big of a leap she had taken by suggesting they take such a big step the night before. But, that’s the thing - wildflowers turn up when and where you don’t expect them to and when you learn to appreciate how beautiful they really are, you understand that having them there is just so much better than being without them. Jamie had changed Dani in more ways than she could list. She had taught her how to truly love something, how to find pride in yourself, and how to find not only happiness in your life but stillness.

Dani reaches out to brush some hair off her face and away from her eyes and she stirs, shifting closer towards her in the bed, her arm reaching out to touch some part of Dani’s body even in her sleep. There are certain moments, Dani knows now, that are more precious than others. Sure, sex is great, and laughing with someone over a meal is lovely. A shared shower is intimate in easy ways, and kissing is like coming alive but moments like this one. The quietest moments, the ones that are so private and small are the most precious of all.

Existing in a state of vulnerability, of total calm and comfort with another human being without distraction is Dani’s favourite. When Jamie’s eyes flutter open and her lips curl up into a sleepy smile, she thinks that there may never be anything more perfect than moments just like this one. Being together before the world can take hold of them.

“Morning,” Jamie whispers.

“Hi. How’d you sleep?” Dani’s voice is low and hushed as if speaking any louder would somehow crack the walls built up around them and she inches in closer, not wanting distance between their hearts. 

“I always sleep well when I’m with you.”

“Guess that’s going to be a permanent thing now, hmm?”

Jamie laughs a little and slides a hand up so her fingers brush over Dani’s collarbone. “Eh, we’ll see. You might to do somethin’ to make me change my mind. Not sure how many bad cups of tea I can take, love.”

“Hey,” Dani jokingly scoffs and pulls away from Jamie only to have her gently grab her arm and tug their bodies back together.

“You know I’m only jokin’, Dani. We’re basically already livin’ together anyway, only makes sense to make it a permanent thing. I wouldn’t be telling the truth if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind too, you just got to it first. Like some other important things.”

Dani smiles and shrugs. “I don’t regret saying it first and I never will.”

“Sorry...saying what? Remind me?”

“Ah, see, now I can’t remember either...”

Jamie swiftly pulls back the covers and straddles Dani, placing her knees on either side of her waist. She puts her hands on her abdomen and begins to poke and prod, tickling up her sides and Dani laughs, doing her best to pull herself free from Jamie’s hold on her.

“Need to hear you say it! I won’t stop until you do!”

“Jamie!” Dani squirms and Jamie pushes her body down more, pinning her to the bed. “Not fair!”

“Is this helping to remind you?” Jamie’s hands still and then her fingers brush across the bare skin of Dani’s stomach, sliding up to cover her heart. 

“I love you,” Dani finally says. She moves to sit up but Jamie gently pushes her back against the bed. “I love you,” she says again, the words coming out as a breath.

Jamie moves her hands and puts them on each side of her head then leans down closer, stopping just before their lips touch. She grins then kisses Dani and their eyes close.

 _How does it still feel this good? How is there a beautiful, wonderful woman on top of me in my bed kissing me as if the world depends on it? This all must be a dream._ Dani still finds it somewhat hard to believe that kissing Jamie still makes her feel a little like she’s floating, makes her feel like no two things were ever meant to come together more than their lips. Jamie cheekily bites her bottom lip then pulls away from the kiss to leans back up and gaze down at her. 

“I love you,” Dani says one more time.

“There we are.” Jamie grins and Dani’s heart thuds in her chest, so full of everything she feels for the woman above her.

“Aren’t you going to say it back?”

Jamie purses her lips and closes her eyes, looking as though she’s truly considering the question. She takes a deep breath and shrugs. “Nah, maybe tomorrow though.”

“That’s it,” Dani says, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “I officially rescind my offer for you to move in.”

“Dani...” Jamie slides off her waist so she’s back lying beside her. She props her head upon her hand, slips her leg in between Dani’s and reaches out her other hand to cover her heart again causing Dani’s breath to catch in her throat from the gentle, faint intimacy of the action. “I have never loved anyone more.”

They look at one another for a moment or so, not saying anything. There’s familiar ease to the silence, a comfort they’ve developed, and even though the room is a bit grey and gloomy thanks to the cloud-covered sky beyond the window, they are warm, happy, and so stupidly in love. 

“What time do you need to head to the estate?” Dani asks.

“Got a couple hours before I need to be on my way,” Jamie replies.

Dani brings her hand down between them beneath the sheets and her fingers float across Jamie’s thigh. “We should make the most out of the morning.”

___________

“You don’t have to walk me to the shop you know,” Dani says as they stroll down the street together, their hands brushing with every step. 

Jamie can’t help but smile as she glances in Dani’s direction and notices the way the flannel shirt she’s chosen to wear, Jamie’s own flannel shirt to be precise, blows in the breeze. She never thought she’d enjoy seeing someone else wear her clothes this much but Dani seems to shine no matter what she’s wearing and it just means when she gets it back, if she gets it back, it will smell like her. 

“I know I don’t have to, Dani, but I want to.”

The brushing of their hands stops when Dani slips her fingers in between Jamie’s without even glancing down to look. It’s such a simple gesture and it makes Jamie feel almost giddy in delight and giddiness is not something she’d often admit to feeling but Dani had somehow softened all of her edges. 

“Gotta have a wee chat about somethin’ with Albert anyway,” Jamie adds. 

When they reach the bookshop, the closed sign hasn’t been flipped to open which Dani finds odd considering Albert was meant to open the shop nearly an hour before and he was always on time. She thinks at first that maybe he’s just forgotten to flip it but Jamie tugs on the door and it's locked. 

“This is so strange,” Dani says, digging out her own set of keys from her bag. “He’s never forgotten to open on the mornings that I come in late.”

“Bet he just overslept is all,” Jamie replies as Dani opens the door. They walk inside and glances around the space, staying by the door to listen for the hint of any sound but hear none aside from the groaning of rusty old pipes and creaking worn wooden boards below their feet. 

Jamie kisses Dani on the cheek then nods towards the staircase. “You stay here and open up, I’ll head upstairs and check on the old man.”

The stairs, like the bookshop floor, creak with each step she takes and when Jamie gets to the small landing at the top she turns the door handle and walks inside Albert’s Flat. It’s just as quiet upstairs as it is down in the book shop and she takes a few steps into the living room, stopping to look around. Her eyes land on half-drunken cups of tea forgotten on the coffee table and a plate with uneaten toast and a fried egg. It’s unlike him to not clean up after himself and it worries her.

“Albert?” she calls out. “You alright?” 

She hears no response and turns down a small hallway in the direction of his bedroom where she finds him asleep on the bed. An assortment of pill bottles on the bedside table catches her eye and she knows they aren’t uncommon given his age but they make her feel slightly uneasy and she approaches his bed. His chest rises and falls as he breathes and when he suddenly coughs, the sound breaking through the silence, it startles her slightly.

Albert stirs in the bed and coughs again then slowly opens his eyes and takes a big deep breath. He spots Jamie standing a few feet away from the bed and tries to sit up but can’t find the energy and lays back down. 

“Jamie, love, what are you doing up here?”

“The uh...the shop wasn’t open. You didn’t come down this mornin’ and I just wanted to come up and see if you were alright. Told Dani you’d probably just slept in.”

He looks at the clock on his bedside table, nearly hidden by the pill bottles and when the time registers with him, he tries to pull himself up in the bed again but loses his breath and ends up in a coughing fit. 

“Hey, hey, it’s all good,” Jamie says as she rushes over to his bedside. She puts her arms on his shoulders and gently pushes him back against the pillows. “It’s all good. Dani’s got things handled down there today so you don’t need to do a thing except tell me what’s been goin’ on lately. You’ve not been well, have you?”

Albert focuses on his breathing and thinks about the question for a moment. He knows how's he should answer it. He knows it’s time to be honest about a few things but he’s not ready for that yet and as Jamie sits on the edge of the bed, concern, and worry on her face, he wonders if saying nothing might be easier for everyone. 

“Just a bit of a cold, love. I’ll be in tip-top shape in a coupla days or so, not been having enough vitamin c is all.”

Jamie narrows her eyes and her gaze flicks to the bottles of pills. Not a single one is basic cold medication but she accepts his answer and puts a hand on his arm. “You’ve got to let me know when you’ve not been feelin’ well, yeah? You know I can always take some time off work to take care of ya.”

“Oh hush,” Albert says. “You don’t need me to be taking you away from your gardens. Don’t let an old man pull you from your life, I’ll be as healthy as a horse once this cold runs its course.”

“You wouldn’t be taking me away from anything, I’m happy to be here anytime you need me and I mean that.”

He smiles and puts his hand on top of hers on his arm. “I know, I know. But really, I’ll be just fine. Since you’re here, I’ve got something for you. Over there in that box on the shelf.”

Jamie turns and looks at the bookshelf in the corner of his room then gets up and walks towards it. She picks up an unassuming brown box and takes the lid off and a smile spreads across her face as she sees what’s inside of it.

“You found it,” she says as takes a copy of The Secret Garden out of the box. “I was hopin’ you’d track it down soon.”

“Knew a fella who owned it, gave it to me for a fair price.”

She doesn’t know anything about old books but this one looks like it belongs behind a piece of glass, as though it were a museum piece. Jamie traces the cover with her index finger, wondering who it might have originally belonged to, who else had slipped into the magical world within its pages. She flips the book open to one of the inside pages to read the printing information. The printing date says 1911 and she looks over her shoulder at Albert with wide eyes. 

“This...this really is a first edition copy. You bloody found it...I...I can’t believe you found this. How much do I owe you for it? I can get you the cash right away.”

“No,” Albert says. “Keep your money.”

“You must be havin’ a laugh if you think I’d accept this book for free.”

“Jamie, keep your money. Give the book to Dani, enjoy the happiness you’ll both get from it.”

Jamie looks back down at the book in her hands then at Albert again. He’s smiling and she shakes her head in disbelief. “Don’t know what to say if I'm being honest.”

“I hope she loves it as much as she seems to love you.”

“Thank you,” Jamie replies. She gently flips through the pages, being careful to not damage any part of the book, and then she places it back in safely in the box and puts the lid on top. 

“Now if ya don’t mind, I think I’m going to get back to sleep if Dani’s alright with minding the shop for the whole day.”

Jamie walks back over to the bed and kisses Albert on the forehead. “You sure you’re alright? You don’t need me to stay? Don’t be lyin’ to me now.”

“I’m fine,” Albert replies, swatting her arm away. “I can take care of myself but tell Dani I’m sorry about keeping the shop shut.”

They look at each other for a moment without saying anything else then Jamie smiles once more, boops him on the nose, and turns on her heels and walks out of the room. He waits until he hears the door to his flat shut followed by the creaky stairs as she descends them then completely collapses back against his bed, exhausted and spent. He turns his head towards the pills on his bedside table and shuts his eyes. They deserve to know but admitting things out loud, even to himself, is proving to be harder than he thought. For years now he had been on his own and then Jamie came along but now there was Dani and she’s become his family in the same way, taking up one of the vacancies in his heart and a document hiding away in the drawer of his desk in the living confirms how he feels. 

Down in the shop, Dani is sweeping the floor and Jamie tries to hide the box with The Secret Garden inside of it behind her back slightly, knowing Dani’s endearing curiosity would undoubtedly prove to be a nuisance. 

“Is he alright?” she asks when Jamie reaches the bottom of the stairs. 

Jamie nods. “He is, yeah. Just seems to have come down with a bit of a cold, says he’ll be good as new in a few days, and apologizes for not gettin’ down here to open up today.”

“Oh no, poor Albert. Does he need anything? We could close for the day and I can spend some time up there with him? No one should be alone when they’re sick,” Dani replies. 

“Says he wants us to just carry on the same as always. I offered the same thing, said I could stick around but he’s tired, and insisted he’d be alright.”

“Well...if he insisted…” Dani leans the broom up against a nearby bookshelf and Jamie steps towards her and cups her cheek. She gives her a kiss on the forehead, one on her nose, then one on the lips, and Dani’s hands instinctively reach up and slide around her neck. She deepens the kiss by slipping her tongue into Jamie’s mouth and earns a small moan in response and when Jamie reluctantly pulls away, she frowns. 

“I should be headin’ off,” Jamie says. Her cheeks are slightly flushed due to the nature of the kiss and Dani gives her one more quick peck before stepping away and taking the broom back from against the wall. “But, I’ll see you at home later?”

“You haven’t even moved any of your things yet,” Dani replies with a bit of a laugh. 

“Doesn’t matter where my stuff is,” Jamie says as she looks at Dani, admiring her soft smile, the hint of lines in the skin around her eyes, and the way her hair seems to fall and perfectly frame her face. She knows now that home has never been just a place - it was always going to mean so much more than simply a roof over her head.

“No?” Dani asks. She narrows her eyes slightly and Jamie shakes her head. 

“No. Home for me is wherever you are.”

___________

Spring, and all that came with it, was Jamie’s favorite season. The smell of a fresh spring day when the air isn’t warm but it isn’t cold, the way the breeze seems to rustle through the leaves that are beginning to cover all of the trees, and the colour that sprouts up from the earth as the flowers come to life; just a handful of reasons for why Jamie enjoyed her work a little more around this time of year. For a gardener, nothing is better than spring. While messing about outside in all kinds of weather might not seem ideal to most people, it brings Jamie peace. The solitary nature of her work had never been a downside and she enjoyed the familiar rhythm of each day, the way she can settle into a project so completely that by the time it's finished, hours have passed but to her, it feels as though hardly any time had passed at all. 

Sometimes she stands back and admires what her own two hands have accomplished, wondering how there was ever a time in her life when she thought she might not amount to much at all. Hard work is good work and she had never been afraid of dirt under her fingernails or a sweat-soaked shirt that clung to her frame, which is the state she finds herself in while digging down into hard-packed soil to plant a row of what will grow to become tall hedges. 

She stabs a shovel into the earth and presses down onto it with one of her boots, using all of her force to pull up a decent chunk of soil. Only a couple of hours into her work, she has already accomplished more than most might people accomplish in an entire day and when her shoulders begin to ache and crave some reprieve, she drops the shovel and steps away from the hole in the ground. She puts her hands on her hips and almost expects Dani to walk up behind her and whisper words of encouragement in her ear, not that she needs it, but daydreaming about Dani had become a common occurrence during her workdays. She was content to work by herself but the warm thoughts of Dani that would pop into her head throughout her day were always a welcome gift.

There had been very few people in her life that she aimed to make proud and Dani was most definitely the one who mattered the most. Jamie can almost hear her voice in her head, the sweet words falling from her lips in the most delightful way and the shine in her eyes as she speaks. 

“Ah, Jamie, here you are.”

A very different voice, one much thicker than Dani’s pulls her from her thoughts and she spins around as Henry Wingrave walks towards her with his hands in his pockets. He isn’t wearing his suit, opting for a much more casual look, and seeing him look so informal catches Jamie off guard. She wipes her hands off on her overalls and smiles at him. 

“Afternoon, Sir. What brings you out here so soon after your last trip?” 

“London was looking a tad too dreary and I felt the need for a bit more fresh air. No better place to be than out here in the spring,” he says as he glances around the property. 

“Couldn’t agree with you more,” Jamie replies. 

“You know…” Henry says as he steps towards her current project and the reason why the t-shirt under her dirty denim overalls is heavy with sweat. “I’m always so impressed with what you’re able to accomplish on your own out here. I get so many compliments about the landscaping here when people come to visit and I always say that I can take none of the credit. We have Jamie and everyone needs a Jamie.”

“Well, that’s very kind of you to say, boss. Thank you. Always lots to do ‘round here and you know me, like to keep myself busy so a place like this is perfect.”

“That’s one of the reasons why I’ve come to find you today. I was speaking to the housekeeper and she told me something I was unaware of. It somehow came up in our conversation that you, Jamie, haven’t taken time off in months and I hope that’s not been down to me. Do we truly work you that hard here?”

“Oh, no, not at all.” Jamie laughs a little and Henry raises his eyebrows as if he doesn’t believe her. 

“You’re sure? Because I’ve come to suggest a bit of a holiday for you.”

Jamie isn’t sure if he’s being sincere or telling her to get lost but Henry has always been honest and one of the best people she has ever worked with. An employer who spent most of their time in the city away from the work was always a benefit of the job and his trust in her to be creative with his landscape suggestions made the job fun but no one had ever _told_ her to go on holiday before and as the thinks, about it, she realizes than in the entire time she’s worked for Henry on the estate...she really hadn’t taken a holiday. How that was even possible she didn’t know but the thought of a few days off had recently crossed her mind.

“You know I value my staff,” Henry continues. “It’s why I’ve employed the same people for so long. I’d like you to take some time off, paid of course. Go on a trip, take that lovely woman you brought to the garden party. Explore the English countryside or go to the cinema, maybe take the train to London. Take a step away from all of this.”

“Sir, you...you’ve already given me so much,” Jamie says, referring to the cheque she had received from him, the one she had finally deposited into her bank account after it had been stowed away under her socks and underwear in her dresser for a few weeks. “A paid holiday...it isn’t necessary.”

“I insist and I won’t take no for an answer,” Henry replies. “I’ve come back here for a few weeks to enjoy a bit of a holiday myself so it only seems fair.”

Jamie gives her head a scratch and looks behind her at the pile of grass and upturned soil, her shovel lying idly beside it. Not finishing a project once she’s started it always drove her a bit mad and there was more than one task that was currently in the works on the grounds that she’d need to step away from in order to take a holiday. “The hedges, they need to be - ”

“The hedges can wait for a few weeks, Jamie.”

“Right...suppose so. Then...thank you, Sir,” Jamie replies. She smiles and Henry holds out his hand. She accepts it and gives it a firm shake and when they drop their hands, he puts his back into his pockets and smiles at her kindly one more time then nods and turns back in the direction he had come from. 

“Call me Henry,” he shouts back at her over his shoulder as he disappears around a corner. She shakes her head and laughs to herself and peers back over at the future home of the hedges. If she was going to take a holiday, the least she could do is finish digging the holes.

___________

Outside the door to Dani’s flat...their flat...Jamie slips the box with The Secret Garden deep into her backpack then turns the handle and pushes the door open. Dani is standing by the stove stirring some sauce in a pot while pasta boils on one of the other burners. She’s singing along to music and Jamie stands in the doorway watching her for a minute.

 _When I imagined my life it never looked like this but now I can’t picture it any other way_. 

Dani sways her hips to the music and dips a finger into the sauce then brings it to her lips to taste it. She gives it a nod of approval then leaves it on a simmer so she can turn around and set the table but she stops in her tracks when she notices Jamie by the door. 

“How long have you been there?” 

“Long enough. You should sing more, it’s nice.”

“I sing in the shower.”

Jamie smirks and closes the front door. She drops her backpack on the ground and pads across the floor towards Dani. 

“Never heard you sing when we’ve been in the shower,” Jamie says as she slips her arms around Dani and hugs her close. 

“I’m usually a little distracted.” Dani closes her eyes and settles into the embrace. “I missed you today.” 

“You saw me six hours ago,” Jamie replies and Dani buries her face into her shoulder, hiding a laugh and a hint of embarrassment. 

“I know,” Dani mumbles. “But I can’t help it.”

The feeling of Dani laughing against her chest makes Jamie nearly melt and she presses a kiss to the side of her head and cranes her neck towards what’s cooking on the stove.

“Smells bloody amazin’ in here, Dani.”

“Yeah?” Dani slips out of Jamie’s arms and puts the spoon back in the pot to stir the sauce again. “I just sort of threw it together. It’s honestly not that impressive.”

Jamie walks around her and gets two wine glasses down from the cupboard then uncorks a bottle of wine and fills each glass about halfway. She takes a sip from her own and holds one out to Dani who happily accepts it.

“Not that impressive to you is pretty damn impressive to me.”

“You haven’t even tasted it yet, you might hate it.”

“Not likely. I've loved everything you've made.”

As Dani prepares the rest of the meal, Jamie does her best not to get in the way but Dani has her hair pulled up in a messy bun and it leaves her neck undeniably exposed. It’s so open to warm lips drifting across the skin that Jamie can’t keep herself from pressing into her back and kissing the nape of her nape. 

“Jamie…” Dani leans back into her and lets her head fall slightly to one side. The sensation of lips sweeping across her sensitive skin, stopping to suck just below her ear is enough to make her consider forgetting the meal altogether but just as quickly as Jamie had taken up space behind her, she steps back and Dani turns to look over her shoulder, finding her with a proud and sly smile in her face. “That’s not fair.”

“Can’t let the meal you’ve worked so hard on go to waste, can we?” Jamie moves back beside the counter and picks up her wine glass. 

“You wait,” Dani says, shaking shakes her head. “You wait until I’m the one getting you all hot and bothered and then I’ll just walk away.”

Jamie thinks about her words for a moment then runs her finger around the rim of her wine glass and brings it to her lips. “Dani...we both know you won’t be able to just walk away,” she says then takes a sip. 

Dani’s eyes drop to her mouth and she stares as she lowers the glass and darts her tongue out over her bottom lip, catching a stray drop of alcohol before it can run down her chin. _I bet I could surprise you,_ she thinks.

When the meal is finished and the plates are cleared, Dani and Jamie make their way into the bedroom and Jamie strips off her clothes and hops in the shower to wash off the dirt and grime from her day as Dani settles into the bed with a book in her lap. 

“Which one ya readin’ now?” Jamie asks when she walks out of the bathroom, rubbing her hair with a towel. 

Dani doesn’t hear her, too immersed in the words on the page and it isn’t until she feels Jamie sit down on the edge of the bed that she lifts her gaze. 

“Hmm?”

“The book. What one is it?”

“Oh.” Dani closes it, showing her the cover. “Little Women. Don’t tell Albert but...I might have borrowed it from the shop. I’ve read it before but it was a long time ago and I got too invested in it this afternoon to leave it there.”

Jamie smiles. “Don’t think he’ll mind much.”

Dani flips through the book and stops at a specific page and her eyes scan the text. “Take some books and read; that’s an immense help; and books are always good company if you have the right sort.” She closes the book again and looks up at Jamie who is studying her with intrigue and genuine interest, the way she always does whenever Dani spoke, wanting to soak up every word she says and the parts of her that come with them. 

“Louisa May Alcott wrote that and I forgot how much I loved those words, how good this book is. It’s nice to revisit things we read a long time ago, you don't just hop back into the story but sometimes they take you back into memories of the time in your life when you were reading it for the first time.”

“You know...” Jamie says as she tosses the towel onto a nearby chair in the corner of the room. “You make me want to be a much better reader.”

“You can quote Shakespeare by heart, Jamie. You’re a good reader.” 

“I can quote it when I’m tryin’ my bloody hardest to impress a beautiful blonde American who I can’t seem to get out of my head.”

They’d never spoken about their first impressions of each other. After all of the conversations they’d had, all the time spent together, somehow it wasn’t a topic that had come up until now and Dani closes the book and puts it off to the side, longing to know more.

“You were trying to impress me?”

The honest and complete truth was yes, a hard, hard yes but Jamie almost doesn’t want to give away all of her secrets, wanting to leave a little to Dani’s imagination. Doing that proves to be impossible though because Dani is watching her, waiting for an answer and her gaze is soft, lips curled up at the corners as she waits for an answer to her question. 

“Given where we are now, I’d say it worked, wouldn’t you?” 

She pulls back the sheets on what's become her side of the bed and as she slides underneath them and settles down against the mattress, Dani follows suit and does the same then looks away from her and closes her eyes. 

“I don’t know, maybe I’ve just been faking it this whole time.”

A laugh escape’s Jamie’s lips and she turns onto her side. “Dani, if you've been fakin’ it then I can do a much better job.”

Dani blinks open her eyes and turns onto her side to face Jamie and is met with a proud smirk. Their conversation in the kitchen before they’d eaten their meal pops back into her head and she decides now that she wants to prove a point. Jamie isn’t the only one who can be smooth and sexy, the only one who can tease and play. She doesn’t say anything and instead moves across the bed and closes the short distance between them and grips Jamie’s shirt to tug her forward and into a hot, passionate kiss. 

Not expecting such a swift act, Jamie is taken aback slightly but quickly returns the kiss and the eager response gives Dani all she needs to move from being beside Jamie to lowering her body on top of hers. She never tears her lips away as she slips her leg in between Jamie’s, rocking her hips upwards with a desperate desire to make her not only want more but to crave it. 

Dani drops her hand to the bottom of Jamie’s shirt and dips her hands underneath it then scrapes her fingernails up her abdomen until they cup a firm breast and when she swirls a finger around a pert nipple, Jamie whimpers into her mouth then pulls out of the kiss to get a full breath of air.

“Christ, Dani,” she mutters and Dani drops her head down to kiss across her jaw as a hand squeezes her breast. 

Jamie lifts her own hips up off the bed, wanting to feel more but Dani lifts herself up so she’s sitting with a knee on either side of her thighs, pinning her waist down with her own. She pulls her hand out from under Jamie’s shirt and the loss of contact makes Jamie huff in frustration and she opens her eyes and glares up at the woman above her

“I know what you’re doin’...” Jamie can see a look of lust in Dani’s eyes but there’s a confident playfulness to it and Dani grinds her hips down into hers, creating just enough friction to make Jamie almost shut her eyes and lose her breath because of the way it feels. 

Dani, feeling another stroke of boldness, pulls her own shirt up over her head, leaving her with just her underwear on and the lamp on her bedside table, the only thing illuminating the room, paints her skin with a slight golden hue. Jamie’s hands at her sides itch to reach up and touch all of the newly bare skin above her but as she raises her hands, Dani quickly grips her wrists and pins them back down against the mattress.

“No. This isn’t about me.”

“How am I meant to just lay here without gettin’ to touch when you...look...like...that?” Jamie frowns and tries her luck at raising her arms again but Dani proves to be too strong. 

“I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

She lets go of her wrists and inch by painfully slow inch, Dani crawls down Jamie’s body, pushing aside the sheets and pushing apart her legs so she has more room between them. She hooks her fingers beneath the waistband of Jamie’s underwear and tugs them down and off her legs then drops them on the floor beside the bed.

“Blimey,” Jamie says as Dani settles between her legs and without warning, dips her head forward to breathe hot air against her centre. 

“All good up there?” Dani asks, glancing up with hooded eyes to see that Jamie is now clasping the edges of the pillow beneath her head and biting her lip. 

“Mmm, yeah, perfectly fine.” Jamie squirms and Dani releases another huff of air through pursed lips. She drags a finger up and down Jamie’s inner thigh, inching closer and closer towards her sensitive bud before pulling her finger away. 

Jamie practically whines and Dani thinks back to their first night spent together this way, the way she had traveled the expanse of Jamie’s body, tracing the slope of her hip bones and the swell of her breasts, drawing a map and marking off every spot that made her twitch. Jamie had allowed her to discover her body, guiding her hands and her mouth and Dani had memorized all of the ways she could make her fall apart, how slow or fast to take it, how much and how little. She was taught well and now the knowledge that Jamie so graciously shared with her is being used in the most delicious ways, ways that are making Jamie slip a hand under her shirt to squeeze her own breasts and a hand over her mouth to quiet the noises that are only growing louder. 

Jamie expects a finger to stroke across her first after feeling the featherlight touch of one as it ghosted across her thighs but instead it’s the feeling of a firm, wet tongue pressing against her that sends a shockwave through her whole body. 

“Fuck, Dani,” she says and Dani glances up from between her legs, grinning as she begins to move her tongue in a skilled, confident motion. When Jamie starts to move her own hips quickly, matching the pace that’s been set as Dani works her tongue faster, she suddenly pulls away entirely. 

Jamie groans in frustration as her hips collapse hard into the mattress and she moves them in a circle. “Please, Dani…” she begs but Dani only breathes against her once more, wanting to draw things out for as long as she can, wanting to prove that she could be just as much of a tease. She might not be as smooth or as suave as Jamie, she might not have the same air of confidence about her but she knows Jamie well enough now to be able to bring her as close to the edge as possible without pushing her over. She’s already saying please, already begging and so hungry for her and the sight of her sprawled out on the bed is enough to make Dani feel a growing heat between her own legs. 

“But dragging it out is so much fun.”. 

“Bloody hell...fun for who?”

“Both of us.” Dani lowers her head back down and instead of using her tongue, she sucks and kisses, slipping into a quick rhythm but then, again, she stops, and Jamie tries everything she can to search for her, lifting her waist and craving the feeling - desperate for Dani to give in.

“I can’t, Dani...I need to...fuck, please.”

 _Keep saying please,_ Dani thinks. _I love the way your voice sounds._

Dani knows she’s close, she can feel her thighs begin close in around her as the wetness pools between her legs, can feel her hips start to shake slightly and Dani splays her hands out and pushes them down to keep her body against the mattress. Finally, when Dani feels like she’s made her point after bringing Jamie so close to a release just to pull her back more than once, she caves and gives in to her pleas, and with one more broad stroke and firm suck, Jamie falls apart entirely. She comes against Dani’s mouth and her body moves as it rides out the waves of pleasure that course through her. 

Dani stays between her legs, keeping her tongue and her mouth at work until Jamie lets out one last cry of release as her body stills and then she lifts her head and glances up to Jamie’s face. Her lips are parted and her hand covers her eyes as her chest heaves and even though Jamie had been right, she couldn’t just tear herself away and leave her desperate and aching, Dani had still given her one hell of an orgasm. She wipes her chin and her mouth with the back of her hand then crawls back up Jamie’s body and cuddles in beside her. She knows it was a lot, worries and wonders if maybe it had been too much. Maybe Jamie couldn’t take it and she had gone too far. She wants to open her mouth to say something but Jamie opens her eyes first as she turns onto her right ear and she grins. 

“What the hell was that? You and that mouth..."

Dani returns the smile and kisses her shoulder. “Well, you and I do get a lot of practice…”

“Practice does make perfect,” Jamie replies and Dani laughs. She sits up and grabs the sheets she had pushed aside and pulls them up to cover their bodies. Jamie’s eyelids close as she works to slow her breathing and her fast heartbeat, still very much living in the aftermath of an orgasm that had rippled through her entire body. 

“I know you just showered but you might want to shower again,” Dani says and Jamie nods but makes no effort to move. She’s worn out and Dani is more than satisfied knowing she’s entirely the reason why. 

“Soon, but not yet. Let’s just lay here a while.”

Maybe moving in together so soon was a bit mad and maybe the beautiful haze of their seemingly perfect relationship would begin to clear but who wants to live in a world of maybe, of possibility and probability, when you can live in the moment? 

Life is short. You might as well make the most out of every joyful moment while you’re living it because whatever comes next will only happen when it happens.

___________

“Dani?” 

When she hears Albert calling for her she pokes her head out from between some of the bookshelves and looks in his direction. A delivery of new mystery novels had taken up most of her morning as she re-shelved and alphabetized them by author and as keen as she is on finishing the job, she puts down the book in her hand and makes her way towards the cash-out counter.

Albert had been true with his word, seeming to have bounced back from what he still insists was just a common cold but it didn’t go unnoticed by Dani how he seemed slower, more cautious with the way he moved and carried himself. She could hear him cough behind the door when he’d slip away into the room behind the stars to make them a cup of tea and it worried her. Now, he sits on the stool holding a small white envelope in his hand and she looks at it, a little confused.

“You needed me for something?”

He shakes his head and holds out the envelope for her to take. “I remembered you askin’ me a thing or two about the space next door and it sounded like you wanted to take a look around. Show a certain gardener the inside.”

Dani takes the envelope from him and holds it in her hands, still completely unaware of why he’s given it to her. “Oh, I did, I-I do, I do want to take a look around and maybe give someone a tour but I never said...what does this have to do with…?”

“Well, love, Jamie’s truck just pulled up outside, and that my dear, inside the envelope, is the key to open the front door. I’ve got it for the day and you’ve got the afternoon to take a look ‘round inside.”

Her eyes widen and she feels the envelope, making out the shape of a key inside of it. Albert smiles at her and nods towards the entrance of the shop just as Jamie pushes the door open. 

“Look who it is,” she says, “Albert, how ya feelin’ today?”

He waves her off and sits up a little straighter on the stool. “I’m still an old man with an aching back but I told ya I’d be just fine and here I am.”

“That piece of furniture won’t be doin’ ya any favours, should get a proper chair to stick behind there,” Jamie says. She takes a place beside Dani at the counter and gives her a sweet kiss on the cheek, an easy and familiar greeting. She can’t help herself and slips her arm loosely around her waist and Dani leans into her side. 

Albert looks at Dani and nods his head in the direction of the shop beside them. A subtle command.

“Hey,” Dani says, turning to Jamie. “There’s something I want to show you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

A few minutes later they’re standing on the sidewalk in front of the vacant storefront and Jamie stares at it, somewhat confused and unsure of what exactly it is they’re doing. Much like Dani, she’d never taken the time to notice the vacancy or stop to peer in through the slivers of the front window not covered by paper and if she were asked what her thoughts were in terms of curb appeal, she’d admit that the outside looked a bit dodgy and rundown. 

Dani opens the envelope then takes out the key and steps towards the door, sliding it into the lock. She turns it, hears the click of the door unlocking then looks over her shoulder at Jamie who is standing patiently a couple of feet away. 

“I haven’t been in here yet either so maybe I’m completely wrong about this place but…come in, come inside.”

She grabs the door handle and opens the door, holding it open so Jamie can walk past her and step through the doorway which she does without saying a word. Jamie walks into the centre of the space and looks at the wooden boards below their feet, at the exposed pipes above their heads, and the brick walls. 

What Dani hadn’t been able to see by peering through the gap of an uncovered window is higher ceilings towards the back of the space which curved around a corner and an area flooded by afternoon light that pours in through a large overhead skylight. 

“Wow,” Jamie says as she walks deeper into the shop, the floorboards responding to every step she takes. 

Dani wracks her brain trying to figure out what the place might have once been used for but she can’t come up with any reasonable explanation as she follows Jamie around. 

“Isn't it amazing?” 

Jamie spins around and eagerly nods her head. There’s a look of wonder on her face and Dani knows when she sees it that she might have stumbled upon something great. “It’s brilliant. It really is. But...why are we in here, Dani?”

Dani walks towards her and takes her hand and smiles. She glances around the space again then back at Jamie and takes a deep breath. “I know that it’s probably a long ways off and it wasn’t even all that long ago when you told me about it in the first place but when I stopped the other day to peek in through the window I could see you in here and I needed to show you.” 

“See...me in here? How do you…”

It dawns on Jamie then what Dani means and suddenly the space comes alive in her mind and she can see it too. She sees colour and life, vibrancy and growth. The place completely transforms into something she had been imagining for years, something she truly did believe would only ever exist in her imagination but now they’re standing in the middle of a vacant shop and despite its dust and rusty pipes, wooden floorboards that need replacing and cracks in some of the windows, makes it feel like it could actually be real.

“The Leafling,” Jamie says. 

“Like I said the night when you told me what you wanted to do, it doesn’t just have to be a pipe dream,” Dani replies. 

Dani is right and as she scans the space again, Jamie doesn’t only see The Leafling - she sees the beginning of a beautiful life with her and knows that getting both of those things would make her the luckiest woman in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For real though, I never thought people would connect to this story as much as they have. This little idea I had has grown into something beautiful and it makes me so damn happy. The lockdown where I live has been extra depressing as of late and this story is such a light in my life.


	13. We Found Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone whose been sticking with this story, I always look forward to reading your comments and it means a lot that you're still following along! Took note of those who said they didn't mind the longer chapters so I just wrote as my heart wanted me to with this one and I'm really happy with it how it turned out. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Happy reading! Can't wait to hear your thoughts. x

Thunder cracks loudly in the distance and Dani stirs, the sound pulling her from her sleep. She opens her eyes and looks at the clock on her bedside table. It reads 3:00 am. She turns over expecting to curl herself into the warmth of Jamie’s body but when she outstretches her arm all she finds are the sheets pulled back and a vacant, cold half of the bed. 

“Jamie?”

She sits up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and she blinks to adjust to the darkness. A sliver of light peeking through the slightly ajar bedroom door grabs her attention. Thunder sounds again and the bedroom fills with the quick flash from lighting in the sky outside as rain begins to fall, pelting hard against the window. Dani slips out of her bed and reaches around on the floor for something to pull on, her hands grabbing one of Jamie’s t-shirts and a pair of shorts. Barely awake, she trudges across the room and pushes the door open all the way. She walks into the living room but stops in her tracks when she sees Jamie sitting on the couch with her head in her hands.

Crumpled up pieces of paper are strewn across the coffee table in front of her and Dani knows what she’s been doing, or what she’s been trying to do. They haven’t spoken about the letter since Jamie had mentioned she was considering writing one back and Dani hadn’t brought it up again, knowing it wasn’t her place to decide when or if Jamie followed up.

She watches her in secret for a moment, not wanting to intrude on what feels like such an intimate and personal moment but Jamie looks so small, so broken, that the love she has for her and the need to hold her close and keep her safe pulls her towards the couch. She quietly takes a few steps forward and sits down on empty space beside Jamie, saying nothing as she places a hand on her back and begins to rub it in soothing circles. 

Jamie lifts her head from her hands and glances up at Dani, the evidence of crying on her face; red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

“Did I wake you?” Her voice is quiet but thick, laced with the heaviness of the emotion she’s trying hard not to express. 

Dani shakes her head. “The storm. Are you okay?”

“Didn’t think tryin’ to write this would be so hard.”

“Oh, Jamie.”

“Couldn’t sleep so I got up and thought I could try. Why not, right? But…bloody hell.”

Dani cups her cheek and she looks so sad that it makes her heart hurt. Jamie closes her eyes and leans into Dani’s touch, sinking into the comfort she finds in the other woman, and then in a flash, she turns and slides her arms around Dani to hug her. The letter had resurfaced so many of the things she had spent years pushing deeper and deeper down into herself because without anyone to lean on, without ever meeting another person that she felt safe enough to bear the burden with, it was easier to go on with her life without facing any of it. But now, in Dani’s arms, in the presence of a person she loves and who loves her back, she knows it’s okay to let herself work through it all again. She knows it's okay to cry again because Dani will still be there when she comes up for a breath of air. Dani will be there when she’s finally able to still her heartbeat and her thoughts enough to put the right words on the page, the ones she really wants to say. 

The last time she had cried like this in Dani’s arms she hoped she had gotten it out of her system but some wounds, especially the ones you can’t see, take much longer to heal than we tell ourselves, and just like the last time, Dani says nothing and lets her be sad. She lets her feel every single feeling that is coursing through her body without judgment, without the need to fill the quiet with the promise that things will be okay because no one can give her that promise and they both know that.

Dani is her stable force, her solid ground in a moment where stability and a world beneath her feet seems nearly impossible to find. She clings to her and knows that Dani would let her stay this way forever if she needs to.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles into Dani’s shoulder.

“For what?” Dani runs her fingers through her hair and Jamie shifts in her arms, hugging her tighter. 

“Crying about this again, seeing me this way. I must look mad.”

“Hey,” Dani pulls back out of the embrace and looks into her eyes, shining and wet with more tears that threaten to fall. “You don’t have to apologize for this, Jamie. What kind of person would I be, what kind of girlfriend, if I made you feel like you couldn’t feel whatever it is you need to feel? You can cry and I will hold you for as long as you want and I mean that, okay?”

Jamie nods and takes a deep breath as her eyes flick back to the paper on the table. “Will you sit with me while I try? Even if I can’t...tonight at least...will you just stay with me awhile? I know it’s the middle of the night but -”

Dani smiles. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to,” she says and when Jamie looks back at her, she cups her cheek again and kisses her forehead. 

With a pen in her hand and a fresh piece of paper placed atop a book in her lap, Jamie begins to write and with Dani by her side, hand on her back again, she finds it easier to get words down. Her mind is calmer, her heartbeat slowed, and suddenly her thoughts aren’t so jumbled. Her thoughts aren’t tainted with anger and sadness. The words she scribbles across the paper are honest, raw, and then she has a moment of clarity. 

“I don’t forgive them. I don’t forgive her,” she says out loud, out into the world for the universe to accept. “But one day...I think I could. Right now, that’s all I’ve got.”

She doesn’t spend much longer writing and when she tosses the pen onto the coffee table and folds the piece of paper in half, she looks to Dani with a nod of certainty. She sits up straighter, drops her shoulders, and closes her eyes for a moment as she takes a deep breath. The storm outside might be raging on but as she exhales and bats open her eyes, it’s as though the storm inside of her has cleared. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Dani says as she moves her hand from Jamie’s back to her thigh. “I know I’ve told you that already but it’s true.”

Jamie takes Dani’s hand in hers and brings it to her lips, kissing her knuckles. “You know what?” 

“What?”

“I’m proud of me too.”

___________

“Hey, drop it, mister. You shouldn’t be moving around all of this heavy weight. You just got over being sick and I can tell you still don’t have your strength back.”

Dani rushes over to take a big box of books from Albert’s arms and he shrugs away from her, gripping it tighter. They had just gotten a delivery in and Dani had been the one to sign for the boxes and carry them to the back so Albert wouldn’t have to lift a finger. It had been a couple of days since he seemed to bounce back from his cold but neither Dani or Jamie were certain that he had truly bounced back, noticing the way he needed to stop and catch his breath more often, how he would sometimes slightly lose his balance after what he claimed was just a regular old cough. His spirits were still high, but he looked tired. 

“Dani, I’m old, not dead. I know what I can handle, love.”

“If Jamie finds out I let you - “

“Suppose we just won’t tell our Jamie then, how does that sound?”

The bell above the door jingles and Dani narrows her eyes. “Saved by the bell. This conversation is not over.”

She leaves Albert with the box of books beside the biographies and when she walks toward the front of the store she sees a familiar face standing beside the works of Shakespeare on the shelves near the window. 

“Back to get another play for class?” The teen boy she had helped weeks before is flipping through one of the books and he glances at her. “Or have you been bitten by the Shakespeare bug?”

“I...uh...I’m not here to get a book for class.”

She smiles at him and crosses her arms. “Well then, what can I help you find today?”

The boy looks down and shuffles his weight back and forth on his feet. “There’s a girl in my year...and she likes poetry.”

“Ah. So you want to get her a book of poetry as a gift?”

He looks back up at her and shakes his head then slips the Shakespeare play between two other books on the shelf. “I want to learn more about poetry so I can talk to her about it.”

“I can definitely help you with that. Follow me.”

She turns and heads in the other direction towards the bookshelves on the other side of the store and the teenager followers her. She herself had spent quite a bit of time in the vicinity of the poetry books but those moments, the ones spent with Jamie’s body pressed against hers, pinning her up against the shelves, were much less about the books and much more about melting into the warmth of another. Though, books too could have that effect on a person. 

“Does she like modern poetry or the classics?” 

They stop beside a shelf and she runs her hand across the spines of some of the books of poetry. Albert stands nearby, placing the books from the box he had in his arms on an empty shelf and he watches the interaction out of the corner of his eye. 

The teen boy scratches his head and shrugs his shoulders. “Don’t really know, to be fair.”

“Start with this one then.” Dani’s finger stops on a specific book and she slips the poems of E.E Cummings off the shelf and holds it out to him. “Recite a couple of these to her and I think she’d be very impressed. In my experience, it really works wonders.”

Albert tries to hold in a small laugh but it comes out as a quiet cough instead and they both look in his direction. He feels their eyes on him and he turns to meet their gaze. “Sorry, a bit of a tickle in my throat. Just gettin’ over a cold ya know.”

“You really think she’ll like it?” The teenager takes the book and flips it over to scan the back cover. 

“Only one way to find out. If she doesn’t, then you’ll just have a book of beautiful poetry to read and enjoy. Not the worst thing to end up with.”

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll take it.” 

Dani cashes him out and as he’s opening the door to leave she calls out to him and he looks over his shoulder. “Good luck,” she says with a smile. He blushes but nods his head and smiles then walks out onto the street. 

Albert waddles his way across the floor to lean against the counter and he looks at Dani as she scribbles something down into their inventory book. He taps his knuckles against the wood and she lifts her gaze.

“What?”

“Works wonders, does it?”

Dani’s own cheeks turn pink and she smiles and her eyes drift back down to look at the inventory book, trying to hide her own mix of embarrassment and pride. “It worked for me,” she mutters. 

“Speaking of Jamie…”

“Were we speaking of Jamie?” Dani flips to another page in the book and checks something off then closes it and puts it under the counter and hops up onto the stool.

“How’d she like the space next door?”

The beautiful, perfect space next door. They had spent nearly an hour in there as Jamie pointed out where she’d want things to go, what renovations she’d make, and how the skylight could be cleaned off up above on the roof to allow even more light in. The joy on her face and the childlike wonder she had as she dragged Dani around was exactly the response Dani had hoped the space would receive and now it feels impossible to simply walk away from it without it becoming all she wanted it to be. 

_How could it be anything other than The Leafling? It couldn’t,_ Dani thinks.

“She loved it and we could have stayed in there for ages scheming up what she’d want to do with the place. She has so many ideas, more than I realized but I’ve been wondering...did you already know that she wanted to open her own shop? You seemed so sure that I was asking about it for her when I first brought up the vacancy next door.”

“That girl was always meant to do somethin’ more than groundskeeping on an estate in the countryside,'' Albert replies and Dani nods in agreement, knowing how right he is. “She’s got the mind for it, the vision. I’ve always known how bright she is, how passionate she is about the things that matter to her.”

It’s quiet for a moment as Dani soaks up Albert’s words. She had come from a world where going to college was the norm, so she went. She had come from a world where even with a single mother, she had the support to do the things she loved and ended up with the means to travel across the globe to try something new. Her life had been so much simpler than Jamie’s in so many ways. Yes, had faced her own demons, fought off her own ghosts, and had to make some hard choices to finally be truly happy but we all have to do that at some point. The biggest difference, and one that always weighs heavily on Danis's heart and always will, is the fact that Jamie had to do all of that on her own. 

“I want her to have her dream,” she says. 

Albert smiles and he slides his hand across the counter between them and Dani holds her out for him to clasp. “Dani, love, I think you’ve already given her so many things that she’s wanted. How do ya know she doesn’t already have her dreams?”

A small family walks into the shop just as Dani opens her mouth to respond to Albert’s statement but he simply winks and leaves her on the stool to go help the potential customers. She thinks about her life for a moment, how different it would all be if she hadn’t made the choice to buy a spur of the moment plane ticket or walk into the shop she now sits in when she had strolled into town that fateful day. She feels fulfilled and happier than she’s ever felt in her entire life and she wants Jamie to feel the same way, to feel like she really can turn those dreams into reality.

“Do you do gift wrapping?”

A voice pulls Dani from her thoughts and she realizes a woman is standing in front of the counter looking at her expectantly. 

“Oh, yes,” Dani replies. “We absolutely do gift wrapping.”

“Gosh, you’re American.”

“What gave it away?”

The woman laughs and puts a book on the counter. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself, had to point it out.”

“You are not the first and you certainly won’t be the last,” Dani says as she hops off the stool to retrieve a slip of brown paper to wrap the book with. She pulls it out from under the counter and lays it out flat on top then cuts strips of both blue and red ribbon to tie up the parcel.

“Sure are a ways away from home though,” the woman adds. 

People often get that wrong. They hear her speak and assume that she’s on a holiday, just visiting, only staying awhile. No one ever assumes that this place, this quiet little small town that exists as just a pinprick on the map, this nowhere place, could be her home. The thought of calling anywhere else home feels wrong now. This shop, Albert, Jamie - being anywhere other than right here with them would feel wrong. 

“Actually, I live just around the corner,” Dani says. It’s a cheeky response but it makes the customer smile again and when she pays for the book, she leaves a three-pound tip and Dani drops the change into a jar beside the cash register. They got tips all the time but she’s never taken any money from the jar and Albert’s never said what he does with it but she doesn’t press. He pays her well enough already. 

At 6 pm, she flips the open sign to closed like she does every day then locks the door and begins to sweep like she does every day while Albert counts the money in the till. A simple, easy routine. A choreographed dance that had been perfected since her first week of work and one she enjoyed. The end of a day with the promise of another just around the corner. It had been a busy afternoon, their best in some time and she thinks the upcoming spell of nice weather the area is supposed to have could mean more people out on the street and more people stumbling into their little book shop. 

“I’ve been thinking,” she says as she pushes the broom across the hardwood floor. “What if we get a better sign outside above the window, something more engaging? Summer is right around the corner and it might be nice to have more than a small sign that just says books.”

“That sign has suited this place just fine for years, no need for somethin’ new,” Albert replies as he scoops out a handful of coins from the money tray and puts them in a box. 

“I know...and it’s your shop so I don’t mean to intrude. Just a thought I had. I’m sorry.”

Dani continues to push the broom across the floor, lifting one of the small carpets to shake the dirt out from it and Albert looks up and watches her as she cleans, meticulous with detailed care. Things were changing, even if he hadn’t expressed to anyone else what those changes were yet, they were changing and Dani with her bright spirit and fresh ideas, her love of the store, is a constant reminder of this. She bends to sweep the pile of dust and debris into a small dustpan and when she stands, her eyes meet his. 

“Maybe a new sign isn’t such a bad idea,” he says. 

“You mean it? I don’t want to be stepping on your toes. I just work here, remember.”

“You do more than just work here, Dani.”

She smiles and a sense of pride wash over her as she glances around the shop. She never expected it to become such a special place. It was just a job, a way to keep herself afloat while living in this new place, but it had become _so_ much more than just a job.

 _I belong here,_ she thinks. 

“You practically run the place and I’m lucky to have you. You’ve not let me down yet so...I reckon a sign is something we can do.”

Once the shop is all clean, Dani puts the broom and dustpan away in the room behind the stairs and Albert carries the money from the cash register over to the stairs as Dani slings her bag over her shoulder.

“Oh, before I forget,” Albert says, “you can have the day off tomorrow, you’ve earned some rest of your own.”

“Albert, you don’t have to...I don’t mind being here,” Dani replies. 

He raises his hand and shakes his head. “Take a day Dani, I promise I’ll manage just fine. Go out and enjoy the sunshine, never know how long it’ll stick around.”

Dani smiles and walks up to him, gives him a kiss on the cheek then hugs him tightly. “Get some more rest tonight okay? And promise me you won’t lift any of those boxes tomorrow, I can deal with it when I get back.”

“Can’t just leave ‘em all stacked up back there Dani, I’ll need to - “

They pull out of the hug and Dani points a finger at him. “Promise me or I will tell Jamie you were being unreasonable. Promise.”

“Blimey. Alright, alright, I promise. Now go on home for the night before I change my mind.”

Dani leaves him by the stairs but watches him as she makes her way across the store to leave. She unlocks the door and pushes it open and smiles at him one more time before she walks outside and closes the door behind herself. She gets her keys out of her bag to lock the door and watches through the glass as Albert slowly and carefully pulls himself up the stairs. Wanting to make sure that he gets into his flat safely, she waits until he gets to the landing at the top of the stairs and disappears through the door. She takes a few steps back and looks up above the bookshop, picturing a new sign, and then she glances to her left and pictures another sign. Two shops, two places filled with heart, soul, and a whole lot of love. 

_Albert’s Books and The Leafling._

___________

Jamie walks into the apartment to find it dim and mostly quiet. The afterglow of a Spring sunset casts slight shadows across the floor from the fading light and with a bouquet of flowers she grew herself in one of the estate gardens in one hand she locks the door behind her with the other and walks across to the couch to drop her backpack down on it and puts the flowers on the coffee table. She’s gotten used to coming home with Dani or coming home to find music floating throughout the flat, soft jazz or instrumental piano - one of Dani’s many proud charity shop record store finds. The only thing she hears now is the sound of the shower running in the washroom and she heads into the bedroom to find a bedside table lamp turned on and Dani’s clothes in a heap on the bed. She grins and takes off her own then another sound starts coming from inside the washroom. She listens for a moment as Dani begins to sing and her voice, though she’d never believe Jamie if she told her, is beautiful and Jamie stands outside the door for a moment listening before she quietly cracks the door open and slips inside. She can make out Dani’s form through the steamed-up pale coloured shower curtain and doing her best to stay quiet, she peels back the curtain and steps in behind her as she’s running her hands over her torso, rinsing off some soap. 

“So you do sing in the shower,” she says as she slips her arms around Dani’s waist. 

“Oh my god,” Dani shouts, not expecting anyone to join her in the shower. She jumps a little and Jamie clings onto her tightly so she doesn’t slip and fall. “Jamie, you scared me half to death!”

Jamie laughs and kisses her shoulder. “Sorry, when I heard the water and heard you singin’, knew it would be a shame if I didn’t join in on the fun.”

“I’m not complaining but I think I almost had a heart attack. Feel this.” Dani puts her hands on top of Jamie’s and moves them up so they cover her heart which is pounding quickly in her chest. It wasn’t all being startled that had her chest thudding the way it is, Jamie’s touch and her voice in her ear often had the same effect and when a pair of lips brush their way across slick skin and come up to the shell of her ear, her heart somehow begins to beat even faster. 

“Didn’t mean to startle you, but I Iove you like this, and coming home to it is bloody amazing,” Jamie says. She moves her hands away from Dani’s heart and cups her breasts, causing Dani’s breath to catch in her throat. Jamie smiles and brushes her fingers over Dani’s hardened nipples and a soft whimper spills from her mouth. 

“I came in here to wash you know,” Dani manages to say. “This is very distracting.”

“Mmm, I know. It’s been a long day, hasn’t it? Nothin’ like a hot shower to wind down but there are other...ways to wind down and they might be even better.”

“Jamie…” Dani leans back against her more and her hands reach behind her to grip strong thighs, needing to steady herself but also desperate to feel more of her with her own hands, desperate for her own connection. 

“Want me to stop?” Jamie says and all Dani can do is shake her head. Words escape her as Jamie palms her breasts, circling her nipples with her thumbs. This was new, Jamie touching her body this way as the hot water cascades down over them. The feeling of it hitting her skin as Jamie’s fingers graze across her with such kill and bold certainty, knowing exactly how fast or slow to move, knowing which places will heat her skin more than the water will. No one has ever made her feel this way before and sometimes she thinks she might actually catch fire. Her life before Jamie had been mediocre in almost every facet, passion wasn’t familiar to her, and giving herself over to another person’s touch wasn’t something she ever allowed herself to do. Jamie and these intimate moments, the vulnerability and the deliciousness of every single second was the farthest thing from mediocrity. Passion is what draws them to each other, a natural gravity, a love unlike any other. Being touched by someone who knows your mind just as much as they know your body is addicting. 

When Jamie’s hands begin the slow pilgrimage down her torso, Dani knows where they’ll end up and she grips her thighs even more, earning a proud huff of laughter in her ear. 

“Thought about you a lot today y’know,” Jamie says. “Well, not just today, most days to be fair. You know...when we were still just friends, I’d spent most of my days thinking about kissing you, spent a lot of time getting lost in some work in my greenhouse and my mind would drift to you. The way you smell, how it felt to be close to you...how you’d taste.”

“You thought about that?”

“Dani, I’ve not stopped thinking about you since the first time I saw you. I was mad for you long before I ever told you.”

When Jamie glides her hand in between Dani's legs she feels her body tense against her and the slickness her fingers find is intoxicating. Knowing she’s the reason why Dani is so worked up and just how easily she can make her feel this way always gives her an incredible sense of pride. She’s the only one who gets to know her this way, the only one who gets to hold her close, and the only one who gets to hear her moan through soft lips as a finger swirls around the spot that Jamie has come to know oh so well. 

Dani knew that lovemaking was always meant to be more than just two people rolling around in a bed without their clothes on, over before it ever started, over before it ever mattered. Lovemaking is existing in each second as though it stretches on for miles. It’s poetry and trust, honesty and art. It’s allowing yourself to let go, to lose your breath without fear because you know someone will be there to fill your lungs again when you need air. With Jamie, it’s all of those things and so much more and as her hand moves eagerly between Dani’s legs, as she whispers things in her ear that shake her to her core and make her legs tremble, she’s certain that she will never be able to distill what she feels down into any kind of simplicity. There’s nothing simple about it. 

“More,” Dani mumbles as she bites her lip. Her eyes are shut and her head rolls back against Jamie’s shoulder, letting most of the spray from the shower land against her chest. “Please.”

“More what?” Jamie asks and the way her words vibrate against the skin of Dani’s neck just below her ear, the way toned thighs clench between her hands as she clings to them makes her ache and she moves her own hips, rocking herself against Jamie’s hand, craving more than just languid strokes. 

Jamie gives her what she wants, speeding up her hand and bringing her free hand up to cup a breast once again and she scrapes her teeth across her neck, biting her gently then kissing away the mark left behind on the pale, peach skin. It’s not unlike the morning when she had pinned Dani against the books in the back of the shop; the way Dani was an active participant by matching her movements as she does now, her hips quickly meeting the pace of her fingers. 

Dani feels her orgasm building, she can feel her muscles tense and knows that as her chest heaves, it will only be moments before her body seems to cave in on itself and her hips move of their own accord, pushing back into Jamie’s more and more. She’s almost embarrassed by how quickly she’s reached this point today, how little it took to make it to the peak but she doesn’t care because everything about this, the hot water and the strong body somehow supporting her from behind feels too good to worry about being self-conscious. 

“I’m so close, don’t stop...Jamie, don’t - “

They know each other so well now, so familiar with the way their bodies crane towards one another as though they’re a flower searching for the sun, the way they move so fluidly as one brings the other pleasure and Jamie knows when the words disappear in Dani’s throat that she’s about to reach her climax and she brings her lips back up to her ear as one hand squeezes her breast and the other changes it’s movement from swift and heady circles to long strokes with pressure as she rubs her finger up and down.

“I love you,” Jamie whispers in her ear, and with those three words, Dani’s body begins to tremble. Her legs trap Jamie’s hand between them and the bathroom fills with loud moans and expletives that have never sounded better than they do coming from Dani’s lips in moments like this one. Jamie holds on to her tightly, keeping her from slipping down and as her body relaxes, she begins to laugh.

“Dani...I make you feel like that and then you laugh?” Jamie says, slipping her hand out from between her legs and bringing it up to meet the other around Dani’s waist again.

Dani turns around in her arms and captures her lips in a searing kiss that almost makes Jamie lose her own balance on the wet floor of the tub but when Dani ends the kiss, she blinks open her eyes and she’s there looking at her, she’s brushing wet hair out of her eyes and off her forehead and when she smiles, Jamie decides that it doesn’t matter. Dani can do whatever the hell she wants with a smile like that. 

“I’m sorry, I just still can’t believe sometimes that it can actually feel like that. How soon...it can feel like that.”

“Well, you know…” Jamie tugs Dani closer, leaving them cold and out of the spray from the showerhead. “I’m quite proud of myself for making that happen so quickly. Think I might have bruises on my thighs tomorrow from the way your hands were holdin’ on to me”

Dani smirks. “Next time I won’t hold on so tightly.”

Jamie leans in and brushes her nose against Dani’s then brings her lips down to kiss her but she hesitates and flicks her eyes back up to meet a lustful and curious gaze. “Didn’t say I minded the bruises, Dani.”

By the time they finish washing off their long days, all the aches and tension that accompanied them, the water has run cold but they step out of the shower and dry off then get dressed and settle into a comfortable and domestic evening routine.

“These are so beautiful,” Dani says when she finds the flowers Jamie had brought home for her. 

“Looked too nice to not pick some and bring them home for you,” Jamie replies. “Pretty flowers always remind me of you.”

They put the flowers in a vase with water on the windowsill and Dani puts some music on and watches as Jamie cooks them dinner. She pulls herself up so she’s seated on the countertop, close enough but out of the way and she listens as Jamie tells her about the holiday Henry is making her take, how hard it was to dig the holes for the new hedges, and how excited she is for the next few days of warm weather and sunshine. Jamie holds a forkful of food out for her to taste and she happily accepts it, nodding in approval at the meal that’s being made. Jamie puts the fork down on the counter then reaches up beside her to get plates down out of the cupboard and she grabs a fistful of her t-shirt and pulls her in against the counter between her legs. She brushes across her bottom lip with her thumb and kisses her for a few moments before moving her lips away, kissing across her jaw and down to her neck, making Jamie forget all about the plates. Dani’s lips make her forget all about everything, really.

Finally, when Dani chooses to let go of Jamie’s t-shirt to allow her to finally get the plates, she grins and bites her lips when she realizes she’s left a small hickey on her neck. “Oops...sorry,” she says. 

Jamie doesn’t need to look at herself in a mirror to know what’s now proudly displayed on her skin and she just shakes her head at Dani as she puts the plates on the table and returns to her post in front of the stove to push around some vegetables in a frying pan, glancing back at Dani every now and then with a bashful smile on her face. 

“Oh, Albert randomly gave me the day off tomorrow.”

“Huh, wonder why?” Jamie asks, playing the fool, knowing all too well why Albert had given Dani the day off. An afternoon out by the stone church on a blanket in the sunshine with some flowers, the love of her life, and a very special book had a lot to do with it but Jamie won’t give that secret away quite yet. No, she’ll simply allow Dani to speculate and when she suggests a trip out to the river in the morning, it will seemingly come across as a spur of the moment decision and not at all like a plan that has been in the works for days.

“We should go for a walk maybe, or a drive, explore a little bit. If I can spend a day outside and enjoy the good weather, I’d love to. It is a Saturday after all which means you...don’t have to work.” Dani hops down from her perch on the counter and hugs Jamie from behind as she sprinkles some spices into the frying pan. “Will you spend the day with me?”

_There’s nothing I’d rather do more,_ Jamie thinks as Dani drops her head against her shoulder.

“Ah, suppose I’ll need to take a look at my busy schedule but I think I could make time for you,” Jamie replies and Dani laughs against her. 

“How kind of you to fit me in.”

“I do what I can.”

Dani hugs Jamie tighter and closes her eyes. She inhales deeply and breathes in all things Jamie - marveling in how good it feels to have her this close, how warm she is, how they fit together so well. Meant to be.

“I love you,” she says and Jamie stops stirring for a moment to put her hands on top of Dani’s around her waist. She leans back against her and lets the words settle in her soul for a moment, never growing tired of hearing them. 

_When someone truly means it and you feel the same way, is it even possible to grow tired of those three words?_ She asks herself this question and thinks that surely the answer must be no. 

“I love you too, Dani.”

___________

The weather is even better than Jamie had anticipated. It’s warmer than a typical spring day and not a single cloud fills the sky as pure, perfect sunshine floods down onto the road ahead as her truck rolls along a winding road, weaving its way through the English countryside with the windows down and fresh air flowing through. 

“There’s just something different about spring here,” Dani says. 

Jamie keeps her eyes fixed on the road and she smiles as Dani reaches for the stereo to turn on the radio.

“You don’t have hillsides with cows and trees in America?”

Dani fiddles with the tuner dial, searching for something other than static and finally, a station comes through the fuzz playing some big band jazz music from the ’40s. Neither of them knows what song or what band it is but it doesn’t matter - it’s only pleasant background noise for their own conversation and it feels fitting to have music playing as they drive with the windows rolled down, nothing but open possibility stretched out before them.

She sinks back into her seat and watches small thatched cottages and barns pass them by, drifting off into the distance in the passenger-side mirror. _A world of stories and a little bit of magic,_ she thinks. 

“Of course we do but this place looks like a painting or a page ripped out of a storybook.” 

Jamie, in an effort to be clever and not give away their destination so easily, decided to take a bit of a detour before driving them out to the old church. Dani wanted a drive, and she was going to give her one.

As far as Dani was concerned, the picnic basket filled with food and the blankets and pillows that Jamie had tossed in the back of the truck that morning before they hit the road were to be used once they decided to stop in some little corner of the countryside that they could call their own for an afternoon and she’s not wrong, that corner of the countryside would just be the first place Jamie ever took her. 

“Y’know, I don’t think I ever really asked why you chose England when you decided to flee America. World’s pretty big, lots of places to run to.”

Dani closes her eyes and puts her hand out the window and cuts through the air with it, moving it like waves drifting across an ocean. It seems to float there as they move and she smiles.

“I threw a dart at a map,” she says.

“What? For real?” Jamie glances in her direction with shock on her face and in her voice. 

“No, I didn’t. I’m just kidding. I just always wanted to visit so I thought there's no better time than now.” Dani flutters open her eyes and looks straight out the front window as Jamie refocuses on the road. “It’d be pretty cool if I did throw a dart though, wouldn’t it?”

“Maybe a wee bit mad in my opinion but I suppose I’m not as brave as I tell myself if that’s how I feel.”

“Didn’t think I was all that brave either but here I am in a foreign country with a ridiculously attractive British girlfriend whom I am not only completely in love with but am now also sharing an apartment with.”

Dani puts her hand on Jamie’s thigh and she looks at her, watching the way her eyes close just slightly as she smiles. Yes, flying across an ocean to an unfamiliar place after admitting the truth about her sexuality to those closest to her was a very big leap of faith and took more courage than Dani thought she could ever have but Jamie had left an abusive household as a teenager, she had left two people who never wanted her and had carved out a life for herself in the hard, angry world around her. 

She had grown up too quickly, needing to make choices that no one her age should need to make but all of that made her the bravest person Dani had ever met and she was in awe of her. Seeing her now - successful and happy in a place she truly called home is evidence of just how brave she really needed to be to get here.

“Give yourself more credit, Jamie. We’re all brave in our own ways. Bravery just doesn’t look the same for everyone.”

After a little more than 45 minutes spent driving, Jamie turns onto a dirt road that leads to a place Dani will recognize quickly but she’s come in from the other direction in one last attempt to keep her secret as long as she can. Eventually, the landscape becomes all too familiar, and Dani perks up in her seat, craning her neck out the window to see through the trees.

“Wait, what are we...you’re bringing us to the church? I thought we were going to have a picnic out on a hill somewhere.”

“Picnic part is true, but we’re going to have it here.”

The stone building comes into view through the trees up ahead and it stands like a beacon just as it had the first time Dani had seen it. The sun breaks through the thick canopy of trees overhead and shines down on it in golden patches and when the truck comes to a stop, Dani looks at Jamie with confusion written all over her face. 

“Why did you take such a detour just for us to end up here?” 

Jamie leans over and gives her a quick kiss on the lips then opens her door and jumps out of the truck. She leans against the vehicle, resting her elbows on the window sill as the wheels turn inside of Dani’s mind, trying to make sense of the situation.

“Said you wanted to go on a drive, so I took you on a drive,” she says then shoots her a wink and starts to gather the supplies from the truck bed. 

Picnic basket in hand with an armful of blankets and pillows and her backpack slung across her back, Jamie walks away from the truck and disappears beyond the stone building. Eventually, Dani gets out of the truck and follows the path she took, noticing all of the new flowers planted around the edge of the small building, the careful and deliberate curation of new greenery and colour. The sound of the river gets louder and when she makes it to the small clearing, the special place where they had come for their first official date, Jamie has already spread the blankets out across the grass.

“You’ve been out here working, haven’t you?” Dani asks. 

“Once or twice, maybe,” Jamie replies as she places the pillows down on the blankets. 

Dani looks around the clearing and then at the river. The flowing water and the way the wind floats through the trees is a sweet symphony of sound that she could listen to forever and suddenly she feels like this may have been where she wanted to spend her day all along but just didn’t know it. 

“I do really love it here,” she says and Jamie looks at her with a big smile.

“I know you do, and so do I. That's why I brought us here.” 

Dani lays down on the blanket and breathes in the sweet, fresh air as she fixes her eyes on the trees above them. The last time they had been here the leaves were only beginning to sprout on all of the branches but now most of the trees are lush and full and they sway in the breeze. Jamie lays down beside her and Dani instantly navigates towards her, slotting into her side and resting her head on her chest. 

“You know, I don’t think teenage Dani could have ever imagined her life looking like this.”

“How did teenage Dani imagine her life?” Jamie strokes her fingers across the arm draped over her abdomen and Dani hums at the softness of it, the gentle nature of her touch, the ease of it, and the way it makes her heart feel a little more full if that were even possible. 

“She thought it would be lonely.”

Jamie thinks about these words for a moment. How sad it is to imagine a future where you’re simply alone, how at the time you can’t even find an ounce of hope to shift your perspective even slightly because the thought of being alone clouds your vision too much to allow for anything more. 

“Yeah,” Jamie says, her chest rising and falling with an inhale that fills her lungs and an exhale that relaxes her body more into the blanket below her. “Teenage Jamie thought the same thing.”

Dani presses up and rests on her forearm. She places a hand over Jamie’s heart and looks at her with a warm grin, knowing that right now loneliness is miles away. 

“Lucky we found each other, isn’t it? It’s nice, not being lonely anymore.”

The sun spills through the leaves above them and lands on Dani as she hovers over Jamie, making her blonde hair look even more golden than it usually did and now, Jamie decides, is the moment to give her the book, in a place that she had once said reminded her of the way she felt as a young girl reading it. The moment is, in nearly every way it can be, quite perfect. 

“I have something for you,” Jamie says. She sits up and grabs her backpack from beside the blanket and unzips it to pull out the box that’s inside. She’s wrapped a thin piece of twine around it to keep it secure and she turns back to Dani and holds it out for her to take. Despite knowing how well the gift will probably go over, she feels a little nervous to be giving someone something so precious, so special. There had never been a person in her life who she’d felt compelled to do something like this for which makes it just as special for her as well. “Open it.”

Dani sits up and crosses her legs then takes the box and slowly unties the twine. “It’s not a prank or something, is it? Some fake snakes aren’t going to pop out in my face when I open it, are they?”

Jamie laughs and shakes her head. “Not a prank and no snakes, I promise.”

With an eager and childlike smile, Dani places the twine aside and puts the box down in her lap, lifting the lid up and off to reveal what hides inside. Her eyes go wide when she realizes what is sitting before her and she removes the book and holds it in her hands, noticing the way the green coloured cloth feels against her skin, always amazed by the way old books were bound with such detail and care, something most modern books just don’t have. She runs her finger over the indentations of the title on the spine and across the small graphic on the front cover and then she flips open the book to the first page.

“The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett,” she reads aloud. 

“Keep going,” Jamie says and Dani turns the page to all of the publishing information. When her eyes land on the year of publication, she looks up at Jamie in total shock. 

“No way. Jamie...this really isn’t - “

“It is. First edition printing. Might’ve asked Albert a favour and he was able to track it down.”

The book in her hands, Dani now knows, has just become one of the most precious things in her life. More than just a book, it’s a representation of how much she knows Jamie cares about her, how much she loves her. The people who listen, _really listen_ , will surprise you in the most unexpected ways with things you never even knew you wanted. They don’t only feel your words, but they feel the meaning behind them and recognize the weight to them. They don’t do it for themselves or for the praise, they do it because of the happiness they know you’ll get from it. Jamie listened, she remembered, and she went out of her way to do a gesture that not another soul in Dani’s life would ever think of doing. 

“I really don’t know what to say. No one has ever...this is...wow.”

Jamie smiles. “I know how special this book is to you and you told me once that being here made you feel the same way reading this book did. A pretty big thing to say, worth rememberin’.”

“And you remembered,” Dani says and looks back up at her. Her eyes begin to water and Jamie moves across the blanket towards her so she’s sitting right in front of her, as close as she can get and she cups her cheek and when Dani blinks, one tear slips out from the corner of her eye and it rolls down her cheek but Jamie is quick to wipe it away. 

“Course I remembered, Dani. Everything about you is damn near impossible to forget.”

“However many years she lived,” Dani says, quoting a line from the book, “Mary always felt that she should never forget that first morning when her garden began to grow.” She laughs a little bit as another tear falls and she wipes her nose and Jamie leans in even closer to kiss her forehead. It’s so damn soft and she closes her eyes to let the feeling of warm lips against her skin melt over her whole body. “Thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“There’s more than just the book. Flip to the back,” Jamie replies, leaning back and away from Dani’s face. She keeps her eyes fixed on her, studying her micro-expressions as she holds onto the book. Her cheeks are a little pink and her eyes a little red as the corners of her mouth stay curled up, an effortless and beautiful grin on her face. 

Flipping through the pages carefully, Dani reaches the back of the book and tucked away between the last page and the back cover is a handmade bookmark. It’s made from thickly folded and faded newspaper print and has pressed and dried flower petals covering parts of it. Dani touches the petals - roses and moonflowers - and she smiles picturing Jamie choosing each petal specifically, putting great care into pressing and attaching them to the paper and when she flips the bookmark over, she finds a handwritten statement scrawled across it.

_For all of your secret gardens._

_Love, Jamie_

“It’s not much. I used a coupla things that I had laying about in my greenhouse but I’ve noticed that sometimes you fold the corner of a page down to save your place when you’re readin’ and now you don’t have to.”

Dani had been at a loss for words when she took the book out of the box but the bookmark steals the breath from her lungs. She gently places it between the page and the back cover again then carefully returns the book to its safe home inside of the box and sets it aside. Jamie watches each movement with curious eyes and then suddenly Dani surges forward and cups the back of her neck to pull her close and into a kiss that she hopes can coney every single thing she feels, everything that her words, if she could even find any, just wouldn’t be able to.

The road ahead could be rocky and filled with new problems, new things they’ll need to tackle together but for now, Jamie kisses Dani back and holds her close. They’re together in their own secret garden and the rest of the world can wait until tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to a couple of songs quite often while writing this chapter if you're interested in pairing it with some lovely tunes!
> 
> Bloom by The Paper Kites & River Swimming by Jill Andrews


	14. Can We Stay This Way Forever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, friends! Thank you all so much for the kind words on the last chapter. I truly appreciate it.
> 
> As always, hope you enjoy this and I can't wait to see what you think! Have a lovely weekend and happy reading. x

After giving it some thought, Jamie finally agreed to take the time off that Henry suggested. Well, not suggested so much, enforced was a more fitting term to use. She spent her last day before her time off was set to begin throwing herself entirely into her work. Wanting to make a point of getting as much done as she possibly could, she never stopped working once she started her first task after arriving on the estate that morning. Spring was coming to an end and with that, the heat of early summer was fast approaching which meant some of the last planting needed to be done for things to fill in over the summer months. The work she finished would have typically spanned her a few days and she impressed herself by how much she was actually able to accomplish.

By the time the sun started to set, her body was sore but thought of seeing Dani’s beautiful smile, the thought of wrapping her arms around her and soaking up all of her softness was all Jamie could think of. It willed her to pack away her things faster than usual so she could wrap up and get home. She thought maybe she’d come home to a glass of wine and Dani by the stove, she thought maybe she’d help finish getting dinner ready and hop in the shower while it cooked, she thought perhaps she’d find Dani sprawled out on the couch, nose buried in a book. Scenes that she had walked inside to find on more than one occasion.

What she didn’t expect, what never even crossed her mind, was getting dragged towards the sofa right after walking through the door. Before she even got a word in, Dani had pulled her into a passionate and searing kiss then tugged her backward across the room and pushed her down onto the sofa, climbing into her lap. Dani had begun to kiss her neck and move her hips, saying she had spent the whole day thinking about her, saying she needed to feel her, needed to be close. 

Had she daydreamed before about coming home to something like this? Sure. When you spend most of your days alone, you daydream about all sorts of things and her daydreams were often about Dani. Did she ever think that her daydreams would become her reality? Not even a little bit. The thing is though, the thing she was constantly learning and discovering, is how much Dani could surprise her. Being with her was definitely never boring. 

Dani didn’t spend long in her lap though and just as quickly as she had been pushed down on the couch with a gorgeous blonde in her lap, that gorgeous blonde was gone and kneeling in front of the couch between her legs. Within moments, her trousers and underwear were pulled down and tossed aside. 

“Christ….Dani…”

Dani looks up from her spot, kneeling on the ground between her legs in front of the sofa and she grins. Jamie slips her hands into soft blonde locks, her head rolling back against the cushions as a skilled mouth kisses its way softly across her inner thighs, stopping to nibble and lick her skin. 

“Is this a good way to start your holiday?” Dani gets closer and closer to where Jamie is beginning to ache for her and she hooks her arms around strong thighs, gripping them to keep her hips down. 

“It’s definitely….” Jamie swallows and glances down at Dani again, “unexpected.”

“I just thought…” Dani sits up slightly and kisses Jamie’s right hip bone, “that you deserved something nice...” then she kisses her left hip bone, “to come home to.”

Jamie squirms a little bit as she locks eyes with Dani, watching her every torturous move, every graze of her lips across her skin, slowly inching back down until there’s a languid swipe of a tongue across the sensitive little bud that Dani has learned how to work better than anyone ever has.

“Blimey...wow.”

“You deserve to feel good,” Dani says between sucks and licks while gazing up at Jamie the whole time, watching her expression change, noticing the way she shuts her eyes and licks her lips. 

When a satisfied moan spills from Jamie’s mouth, she pushes down slightly on Dani’s head, wanting her mouth even closer and it gives Dani the confidence to do more. She lets go of the hold she has on one of Jamie’s thighs and brings a hand around. Jamie’s growing slickness allows her to easily slip one finger inside and when she does, Jamie’s hips rise up off the sofa and the hand Dani still has hooked around one of her thighs does its best to try and keep them down.

“Fucking hell, Dani…” Jamie mumbles as her chest heaves. 

Dani builds up a rhythm with her mouth and her finger as they work in tandem and Jamie starts to squirm, moving her own hips against her face and her hand. Dani can feel the heat growing between her own legs, the sensation and the image of Jamie this way - so completely at her mercy and grinding against her is nearly enough to push her towards her own release. 

Jamie opens her eyes and looks down at Dani, not expecting to find her eyes still fixed up and watching her but she is and it’s a picture she wants to burn into her memory; Dani as her head bobs up and down, her arm moving quickly as her finger slips in and out and the sultry and lustful glint in her eyes. They’ve been in this position before, Dani between her legs taking charge but something about this moment, this specific experience, drives Jamie especially mad. The look on Dani’s face and her confidence, the pleasure she seems to be getting out of it all makes Jamie wonder how she truly ever existed without Dani and she begins to think that maybe she never did. 

Maybe she had spent her whole life up until Dani came into it just wandering around aimlessly, searching for a place to settle. Alive, but not really existing. Meeting Dani changed this, it changed a lot of things, really. When she met Dani, she began to exist. She began to really matter. Dani grins, knowing just how close she is, feeling the tightening of her abdomen and the way her thighs begin to close around her head and she speeds up her hand and flattens her tongue. Jamie cries out and her legs close around Dani’s head as her orgasm hits her with more force than she anticipated. But that’s what Dani was, a force in her life in so many ways. A force that continues to lick and suck as her body trembles and finally she can’t take anything else, her body too sensitive so her hands push at Dani’s head.

“Dani...I...fuck, I can’t..” Jamie pleads and Dani reluctantly pulls back from her post, her chin damp and her gaze soft. She sits back on her heels and Jamie closes her legs completely now, throwing an arm over her face to cover it, her chest heaving as her heart hammers. 

“Welcome home,” Dani says and Jamie drops her arm from her face and flutters open her eyes. Her body relaxes completely into the sofa and she looks at Dani again just as she wipes her face with her hand. 

“Y’know...sometimes I’m not even sure you’re real,” Jamie says. She takes a deep breath and Dani’s fingers reach out and scrape across the tops of her thighs toward the place her mouth had just been and then she dips a finger in between closed legs and the feeling makes Jamie jerk away, still sensitive from the orgasm that had just rippled through her entire body. 

“Does that feel real?” Dani asks, eyebrows raised and a cheeky smile on her face. 

“Come here.” Jamie moves so she’s lying down on the couch and Dani stands then snuggles in beside her, their bodies nestling into one another as closely as they can. 

“Do you think we have too much sex?” Jamie asks as she slips her hand under the back of Dani’s sweater, her hand splaying out against the warm skin. 

The question makes Dani laugh and the sound vibrates throughout both of their bodies. It’s a sound Jamie loves and the smile that comes with the sound is soft and easy, the way every smile should be when you’re this comfortable in the presence of another person. 

“I think we have a very, very healthy sex life but if you think it’s too much...I guess I won’t welcome you home with something like that anymore.”

“Didn’t say that, would never say that in fact because that was...fuckin’ brilliant and I think I’ll be dreamin’ of that for days if I’m totally honest.”

“But see...you’re on holiday now which means you have more time with the real thing,” Dani says, brushing their noses together. 

Jamie nods and closes the very small gap between them to press her lips to Dani’s. She swipes her tongue across her bottom lip then slips it inside eager and parted lips making Dani whimpers into the kiss. Jamie moves a hand down between their bodies and swiftly pops the buttons on her jeans and pulls the zipper down then dips her hand under the waistband of her cotton underwear to cup her. 

“And I am a big fan of the real thing,” she says as she pulls her lips away from Dani’s to look at her face. The small dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose stand out a little more as a slight blush spreads across her cheeks and no matter how many times that happens, Jamie never gets sick of it. Dani is effortlessly beautiful, the kind of beautiful that makes people turn their heads to look when she walks into a room, the kind that draws people towards her and she’s unassuming about it all. Jamie knows how lucky she is to be the person who gets to experience such beauty in this intimate way, how bloody envious she would be if someone else was in her place right now but it’s her who gets to have it all. A damn gift, really. “Nothin’ will ever come close to the real thing.”

Dani drops her head into the bit of space between Jamie’s shoulder and her neck and lets out a hushed moan with a huff of hot air. Jamie knew her hand would find wetness beneath the fabric of Dani’s underwear and she’s pleased when she does. She begins to easily swirl her finger in relaxed circles and Dani seems to push into her body even more, her parted lips brushing over her skin. Despite the small amount of room on the couch as they lay side by side, Jamie knows that the lack of space only means they’re curling into each other more and more, melding into one in nearly every way. 

“Mmm, that feels so good,” Dani says, her voice barely above a whisper. Jamie is soft and tender with her, slow with her movements as she soaks in each breath of hot air against her skin, each small whimper and twitch of the hips. There are times when sex with Dani is quick, rough even if the mood calls for it and if they’re feeling particularly hungry for each other….which they nearly always are, but right now when there is no need to rush and no need or desperation to bring her to a fast release, Jamie takes her time with each stroke of her finger because the way Dani rocks her own body into her hand, unhurried and unable to help herself is addicting. 

There is a timidness to the moans that fall from Dani’s perfect lips as the right amount of friction is found between her legs and it’s one of the best sounds Jamie swears she’s ever heard. So much of life with Dani is the best she’s ever experienced and if someone were to ask her what it all really feels like, she’d simply say that it feels like everything that was ever lost in her life has been found. 

“Jamie,” Dani says as she begins to rock herself forward against Jamie’s hand even more, grinding against damp fingers and digging fingernails into her back. 

“Can we just stay this way forever?” Jamie asks and Dani lifts her head to meet her gaze.

“With your hand between my legs?” Dani smiles but quickly shuts her eyes as the familiar sensation of climax fast approaches. She licks her lips and Jamie captures them in a passionate kiss before kissing across her jaw and then Dani drops her head back down against her shoulder. “Oh, god...you feel so good, Jamie...please don’t stop.”

Jamie doesn’t stop and soon Dani’s body is shuddering against hers as she comes. Whispered I love you’s and quiet cries of pleasure float from her mouth and eventually her body stills and she sinks into the couch as Jamie slows down her own hand and slips it out of her underwear. Her other hand under Dani’s sweater strokes up and down her back and Dani opens her eyes and smiles again. 

“See? A very healthy sex life,” she says and Jamie laughs then kisses her forehead. 

“I’m really likin’ this whole holiday thing so far, maybe I should take ‘em more often. Seems to have its perks.”

___________

The sound of an alarm going off slices through the quiet calm of the bedroom and Jamie groans in frustration. 

“Dani,” she mumbles, grumpy and still half-asleep. An arm tightens around her midsection and lips brush the back of her neck and she wants to give in to the way it feels but the very annoying beeping filling the room makes it nearly impossible. “Dani, your alarm.”

“Mmm, s’all good, it’ll stop in a minute,” Dani replies and when the alarm does stop, Jamie relaxes back into the bed and into the warm embrace of the woman she loves but this warmth only lasts for five minutes before the alarm goes off again. 

“Ughhh, turn it off,” she moans and when Dani pulls away from her to do as she’s asked, she immediately misses the feeling of her body so close. 

Dani turns off the alarm and falls back onto the bed. She fixes her gaze on the ceiling and wipes sleep out of her eyes then runs her fingers through her messy blonde hair. Jamie flips over and moves in close to her and puts her head on her shoulder and drapes an arm over her waist.

“I’ve got to get up and get ready to go to work,” Dani says. She drops her hand to her abdomen and starts to play with Jamie’s fingers. “That’s the only reason why I set an alarm.”

“You could just stay here,” Jamie mumbles into her chest. “Take the day off. Stay with me in this bed where it’s soft and warm. We can pretend the rest of the world just doesn’t exist.”

“Albert just gave me a day off, Jamie, and I like my job. I enjoy being at the bookstore.”

“But...you also enjoy bein’ here with me and if you stay...I can make pancakes and you can have a bath with me.”

Dani smiles and brings Jamie’s hand to her lips to kiss her palm. “I love being here with you but right now I need to get up and get dressed. We can have pancakes for dinner and I will gladly have a bath with you tonight.” She pulls herself out of Jamie’s arms and up off the bed then stands beside it. Jamie’s eyes travel the expanse of her bare legs and Dani stretches her arms up above her making her t-shirt rise up, giving a perfect view of her stomach. She drops her arms back down to her sides and turns to walk away but Jamie quickly reaches out and grabs her hand, tugging her back down onto the bed and on top of her.

“Jamie!” Dani squeals. 

“Five more minutes,” Jamie begs as Dani readjusts herself so she’s straddling her hips. “Just be here with me for five more minutes.”

“You know...you can come with me to the shop and then we’ll have all day together. Albert would love to see you.”

Jamie slips her hands under the bottom hem of her t-shirt, her fingers brushing across soft skin. They don’t linger on her stomach for long before moving up to her neck and then to cup her face. “Oh, I was already plannin’ on it,” she says, lifting herself halfway up as she pulls Dani down into a kiss. They get completely lost in the kiss for a few minutes and when hands begin to wander as they always do, Dani laughs and sits back up, pushing her hand against Jamie’s chest to keep her flat against the mattress.

“No. You will not trick me with those lips. You are unbelievable sometimes, you know that right?”

“I do, yeah. But you love me anyway and that makes me pretty damn lucky.”

Dani’s face softens and she leans back down to kiss Jamie again. It’s soft and filled with love but it’s quick and in a flash, she’s off the bed and walking towards the washroom. “I’ll love you even more if you stop distracting me and get dressed,” she calls out over her shoulder, looking back at Jamie in the bed and winking at her. 

They stop at the cafe on their way to the shop and Dani gets herself a coffee and a muffin and Jamie gets herself and Albert a cup of tea. There is something so comfortable about domestic moments like these, spending mornings together and walking side by side as the sun pokes through the clouds above them. People don’t spend enough time really living in these simple moments, the ones that seem insignificant and small. Getting coffee together, walking to work, stealing a quick kiss against a wall when wandering eyes aren’t watching. An average morning without anything seemingly exceptional happening is so far from average when you get to be with someone who sets your soul on fire just by their hand grazing the back of yours as you walk.

“Ah, there they are,” Albert says when they walk into the bookshop. He’s perched on the stool behind the wooden counter with a book in his hands and he smiles as he shuts it and sets it down. 

“Ey up, boss,” Jamie replies. Dani heads into the room behind the stairs to put away her bag and Jamie places the cup of tea down in front of him. “How ya feelin’?”

“Bit tired and a bit sore but all of that comes with age. A cup of tea always helps, doesn’t it? Thanks, love,” Albert replies as he picks up the cup, bringing it to his lips and taking a long and satisfying sip.

“Thank Dani, she wanted to stop and insisted we pick somethin’ up for you. Heart of gold, that one. I figured I’d tag along today and see if you needed anything taken care of upstairs and I knew the plants needed to be watered.”

“Dani did mention you’ve found yourself on a bit of a wee holiday and as it turns out, Dani is about to have some more time off to enjoy it with you.”

“Is that right?” Jamie puts her own cup of tea down on the counter and slips her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “You closin’ up shop for a little bit? Is it meant to be a surprise?” 

“Not at all, she just won’t expect it. Need to finally get that leaky ceiling taken care of for good so I decided we could all use a bit of a break. We’ll only be closed for a week or so just to make sure everything gets sorted but it’ll be a nice break for us all, I’m sure Dani will enjoy it.”

Dani exits the room behind the stairs with her cup of coffee in one hand and comes to stand beside Jamie. Their natural pull of gravity and need to always be touching makes Jamie pull her hand from out of her pocket to drop it down at her side. Her fingers reach out for Dani’s and when she touches them, she links them together. 

“What will Dany enjoy?” 

“A holiday,” Jamie says. 

“You’re the one on holiday, not me.” There’s silence for a moment and Dani raises her eyebrows. “Wait, I’m confused.”

“Was going to tell ya today, love,” Albert says, “but we’ll be closing the shop for about a week so some people can come in and finally fix that ceiling back there for good. I know it’s been a big problem and I’ve seen how it’s caused you some stress so we’re going to get it fixed up nice and proper. No more leaks.” 

“Oh, well that’s great! When exactly are we closing the shop?”

Albert looks between Dani and Jamie and sips his tea. They patiently wait for his response and finally he puts his cup down and scratches his head. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? As in the day after today? That is...sudden.”

“Only time the lad’s were available to come in, Dani.”

Jamie gives her hand a squeeze and looks at her with newfound excitement. “Maybe we can go away for a coupla days? You’ve not seen anything aside from London and the view from the train before ending up here. Bit of a road trip could be fun, yeah?”

Albert nods his head in agreement. “Another spell of good weather is in the forecast. The two of you could even drive out to the sea, only a few hours away really. Nothing quite like the sea before the beaches are filled to brim with sunburnt tourists.”

“Henry did say I should take the lovely woman I brought to the garden party on a trip. Had an especially good point about that woman bein’ lovely,'' Jamie says and Dani has to duck her head to hide a blush. 

It didn’t matter how many times Jamie gave her a compliment, it always went right to her cheeks and right to her heart. Before Jamie, she wasn’t used to being complimented very often. She would hear the occasional ‘you look nice’ and ‘I like your hair today’ but that was more often than not the extent of it and that was fine. Or, she thought it was fine. It was all she knew. She wasn’t shallow and didn’t ever care much about that type of thing but a compliment from Jamie was enough to quicken her pulse and make her feel like a shy schoolgirl with a crush. It was a wonderful feeling and she couldn’t deny that. Jamie’s words were always laced with so much honestly that Dani knew she meant every word with a certainty that was unmatched. 

“So, we’ll work today as normal, and then in a week or so everything should be fixed up in here and we can get back to work,” Albert says and as he’s about to take another sip of his tea, a customer walks into the shop.

“Let me get this one,” Jamie says and Dani lifts her gaze to find an eager smile on her face. 

“You sure?” she asks. Albert wonders the same thing and Jamie nods reassuringly.

“Not the first time I’ve helped out ‘round here. Bet I’ll make you two a sale,” she says, letting go of Dani’s hand. She leaves them both by the counter and approaches the customer by the front window with a cheerful hello and a friendly demeanor. 

“That one can’t sit still, can she?” Albert asks.

Dani laughs a little bit and shakes her head. “Not normally, no.”

She thinks back to earlier that morning and how content Jamie would have been to just stay in bed wrapped up in one another. How perfect a lazy morning would have been and if the shop didn’t need her today, she would have given in to anything Jamie wanted because doing nothing with Jamie was better than doing most other things. 

The afternoon rolls around easily as customers come and go and it’s a day that reminds Dani why she loves working in the shop so much. The stories that seem to come in with the people who enter and the new ones they leave with fills the space with a richness and a kind of light she’s never experienced before in any of the work she’s done in her life. There are layers to the shop - worn down floorboards from the generations of families who have walked through the door and browsed the stacks, the discovering of a new favourite book or author, relationships that seem to bloom in the most brilliant way because of the words within the pages of a book that was taken from one of their shelves - her own being one of them. 

Tucked away in the drawer beside her bed is the book she never remembered to return to Jamie, the one that started it all. _Ferns, To Know and To Grow_. What the book represents as a whole means far more than the ins and outs of taking care of ferns but she had read it. More than once. 

Dani is lost in her thoughts as she stands by the window, hugging a grey cardigan around her waist. It slips off her shoulder and she tugs it back up as she watches people pass by on the cobbles outside the shop. There are children laughing and kicking a football along the road, a man carrying a large bouquet of flowers, and someone with their arms full of paper bags overflowing with groceries from the small shop a few blocks away. It feels a little like the town has come to life in a new way as everyone is drifting outdoors more, their peaceful corner of the world on the cusp of summer. 

“Daydreamin’ are we?”

Jamie’s voice pulls her from her thoughts and she turns to face her, noticing the small watering can in her hands as she pours some water into the potted plant on the shelf by the window. 

Dani smiles, it’s soft and easy, her lips curling up slightly at the corners of her mouth. “Just people watching,” she says. 

“Anyone interesting pass by yet?”

“Everyone can be interesting if you take the time to know them.”

”I’d like to see the world the way you do sometime, Dani. Albert’s gone upstairs for a bit of a break by the way, said he was knackered.”

“Good thing he’s going to have a whole week to rest up.”

Jamie puts the watering can down on the windowsill and sits on the edge. She looks up at Dani and reaches out for one of the arms that are crossed around her waist.

“I don’t want you feelin’ like we have to go anywhere just because we’ll both have the time off. I know Albert made that comment about going to the sea but...you know I’d be just as happy to stick around here. I’m happy anywhere if you’re with me.” 

“I know and I feel the same way. The sea could be nice though, right? If you did want to go that far. I’ve actually never even seen the ocean before.”

“Can’t be havin’ that now can we?” Jamie says, brushing her thumb over Dani’s knuckles. “We could rent a little place for a few days not far from the water, ‘round Blackpool maybe. Drive along the coast a wee bit even, stop whenever we want to.”

“I think that sounds pretty perfect.”

She wouldn’t normally be so bold in the shop, especially given where they’re currently located, so completely exposed and visible for anyone on the street to see through the big front window but Dani can’t help herself. Jamie is smiling and looking so beautiful in the bit of sun that shines in that she finds herself cupping her cheek and leaning down to kiss her. She doesn’t care anymore who might see, doesn’t care about being caught. Kissing her gorgeous girlfriend in the sunshine in one of her favourite places in the whole world feels too damn right. 

When she pulls away from the kiss, Jamie keeps her eyes closed for a moment longer before batting them open and grinning bashfully. “What was that for?”

“Do I need a reason to kiss you?”

The door to Albert’s flat creaks open and the sound pulls their attention towards the stairs. “Jamie, dear? Could ya give me a hand up here for a minute? Don’t mean to pull you from your hanky panky with Dani ‘cause I know that’s what you two are gettin’ up to down there but I’ve got a little task I need help with.”

Dani and Jamie look at each other and laugh and then Jamie lets her head fall forward against Dani’s stomach. Dani responds by rubbing her back and and kissing the crown of her head.

“Be up in a second,” Jamie calls out.

“He really said hanky panky.”

Jamie wraps her arms around Dani’s waist and laughs again. “Sure did, old fashioned and all that.”

“Jamie?” Albert calls out again and she lifts her gaze to look up at Dani. 

“Go, before he comes down to investigate our hanky panky himself.” She kisses Jamie’s forehead and steps away from her so she can stand and go upstairs.

“Best not get used to sayin’ hanky panky, Dani, otherwise you won’t get much of it.”

Dani scoffs and crosses her arms as Jamie heads towards the staircase. “We both know you couldn’t withhold that.”

Jamie purses her lips as she steps up onto the bottom step and looks back at Dani with a smirk. “Not a chance.”

An hour and a half later, Jamie and Albert descend the stairs one after another just as Dani is cashing out a customer.

“Would you like this wrapped?” She asks.

“Oh, yes, that would be lovely. My husband has been wanting to read this for a while now and it’s his birthday in a few days,” the customer replies.

Albert heads off into the room behind the stairs and Jamie leans against the bookshelves by the stairs, watching Dani with the customer. It’s never lost on her how she treats everyone like a friend. She exudes kindness and her gentle nature puts everyone she meets at ease.

“Has he read any of the author's other work? I’m a big fan of his first novel. It’s so beautiful.”

The woman smiles at her and excitedly nods. “Absolutely. This is his favourite author and he’ll think it’s just brilliant that someone else enjoys the books just as much.”

Dani pulls a piece of brown paper out from under the counter and wraps the book then takes a piece of blue and red ribbon and ties it around the wrapped book in a little bow. The customer holds out a few bills which Dani accepts as she slides the now wrapped book forward.

“Your husband has excellent taste in books and I wish him a very happy birthday,” Dani says. 

Jamie smiles and Dani turns to look in her direction and they lock eyes. She gives her a silent tilt of the head as if to say “what” and Jamie just shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders.

“Thank you, dear, you’ve been a great help,” the woman says as she puts the book into a tote bag and walks out of the store. 

“Well you two girls can head on home if ya like,” Albert says as he walks out from behind the stairs. “Don’t see us getting too many more customers ‘round this time so I can close up the shop for the night.”

Jamie pushes away from the shelves and walks across the floor to stand beside the cash register. “You sure, boss? Don’t mind helping out.”

“I’m about to have a whole week off, Albert. The least I can do is tidy up before we close for the next little while,” Dani adds.

Albert shakes his head and waves a finger at them. “Nonsense. I can handle it and I enjoy the routine. Besides, I need to do a coupla maintenance things for the lads tomorrow when they come in. Go get a jump on your holiday and make sure to send me a postcard from where you end up.”

Jamie crosses the old creaky hardwood floor and throws her arms around him. She hugs him tightly and he returns the embrace. “You sure you’ll be okay on your own for a while? We can stick around town if you need the help.”

“Jamie’s right,” Dani adds.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. If I need help with anything there are some other people in this town who can give me a hand. I just don’t like ‘em all that much is all.”

“Tell us how ya really feel, mate,” Jamie jokes. 

Dani laughs and moves out from behind the counter and joins in on the hug. Albert repositions his arms so he can hug them both at the same time and he closes his eyes, squeezing them tight. “My girls. Go enjoy your holiday and I’ll be here when ya get back.”

___________

“So what sort of snacks does one get for a road trip in England?” Dani asks as she pushes a shopping cart down a narrow aisle at the supermarket with Jamie by her side. An outdated pop sound plays through the speakers overhead and the wheels of the cart squeak as they pass by boxes of crackers and packages of dry pasta. Dani stops every now and then, looking at the nutritional information on the back of certain products and Jamie bobs her head along to the familiar melody of the music. 

“Crisps, sweets, biscuits.”

“Jamie...we need something healthy. Vegetables, fruit, things like that.”

“What fun is that? It’s a holiday. You’re meant to eat poorly.” They round the corner from one aisle into the next and Jamie grabs a handful of things from the shelves and drops them into the cart. “I bet you’ve not even had any British chocolate since you got here.”

Dani looks over all of the items now in their cart and then up at Jamie who is studying her with raised eyebrows. “Okay, fine. I haven’t.”

“Thought as much.” Jamie glances around, making sure no one else is nearby and she saunters over to Dani and brings her lips up the shell of her ear. “Don’t worry, this is all very sweet but nothin’ in this cart is as sweet as you are.”

Dani rolls her eyes but the feeling of Jamie’s lips so close makes her skin tingle and then suddenly she’s pulling away, stuffing her hands into her pockets and nodding towards the other end of the aisle

“Beer?” 

“Water.”

“Blimey. A trip with you is startin’ to sound less fun by the minute.”

Jamie instantly regrets her words, knowing they sounded very literal and far less sarcastic than she had meant them to. The sudden look of hurt on Dani’s face makes her heart ache and the smile that was glued to her face when they entered the shop only minutes prior disappears entirely.

“We don’t have to go then,” Dani says, her voice quiet and small. She frowns and looks down at her feet, needing to focus on something else, wanting to hide her sad eyes. “It’s your holiday. I don’t want to ruin it.” 

“Hey, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it like that, Dani. I was just havin’ a laugh.”

“You sure about that?”

Dani doesn’t lift her gaze and Jamie walks the few steps towards her, putting a finger under her chin to tilt her face up. 

“I promise. Forget the junk, I’m fine with whatever food you want to bring. Hell, I’ll eat a raw aubergine if you ask me to.”

“I don’t know what an aubergine is." 

Jamie drops the finger from under her chin and cups her cheek. “Bloody hell, you’re so cute and American. It doesn’t matter what it is. Point is, I don’t care what we eat or where we go as long as I get to do it all with you, okay?”

The pout on Dani’s face fades and she turns her cheek into Jamie’s hand more. “Okay. And you can get some candy and chips. You’re right, a holiday should involve some junk food.”

“Sweets and crisps. I’ll make sure to get a few things that I think you’ll like and you make sure to get some fruit that I like. Deal?” 

Dani nods and Jamie gives her a quick peck on the lips before they continue their journey throughout the supermarket. Dani somehow ends up telling Jamie the story of how she was got lost in the supermarket when she was a child and ended up hiding out underneath one of the vegetable stands in the produce section. The image makes Jamie laugh and it earns her a gentle swat on the arm.

“I was terrified! I was six years old huddling below the potatoes and it took the manager and my mother fifteen minutes to finally track me down.”

“At least your mum stuck around to find you.”

They stop in front of the fruit and Dani fills a small bag with five apples, looking to Jamie with expectation, wanting her to continue. “What do you mean?”

“Mum left me in an off-license. It’s like a convenience store that mostly sells alcohol. She dragged me with her one night to get a bottle of whisky, always used to say she didn’t like bein’ alone so she’d make me go with her, make me sit in her lap sometimes as she drove. I got distracted for a minute by looking at the labels, lots of pretty colours and fancy designs and when I turned around, she was gone. Poof. Vanished. Never even said a word to me. The car was gone outside and I’m 8 years old, left to find my own way home in the middle of December after dark. Didn't even have a proper jacket on.”

Dani puts the apples in the cart and places her hand on Jamie’s arm. She can tell it still hurts for her to think of these things even all these years later and the way her eyes slightly glaze over makes it clear that she’s slipped into the memory more deeply than she may have intended to.

“Just another example of a time when alcohol meant more to her than I did. Managed to make it home but I was freezin’. Don’t think I remember a time in my life when I’ve been that cold. Had to run myself a bath to warm up because no one else would’ve done it for me.“

“Jamie, I’m so sorry. I know that I can’t go back and fix any of that for you but I wish...I wish it had been better.”

“I do too.” Jamie stands up straighter and rubs at her nose then tries her best to smile. “Jesus, I’m sorry. Here you are tellin’ me all about little Dani’s adventures and I dive into another sob story from my sparklin’ childhood.”

“I bet little Jamie went on a lot of adventures too, ones that were much more fun and I’d love to hear all about them sometime if you’d like to tell me.”

Jamie smiles and she nods. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Good,” Dani says, turning her attention back to the fruit and points in two different directions. “So, should we get grapes or bananas?”

 _It shouldn’t feel this way in the middle of the supermarket_ , Jamie thinks. It shouldn’t feel as though happiness somehow courses through their bodies as they decide which pieces of fruit to buy. _It shouldn’t be so perfect...but it is._

It’s in moments like this when you’re doing something that you became so used to doing on your own, something so trivial in nature, when you recognize how nice it really feels to have someone with you while you do it. You recognize how much you craved that presence, how you ached for it, but never knew until it was there. 

We don’t always notice how lonely we truly are until a time comes when we begin to forget how emptiness feels. Loneliness can easily swallow you whole without you ever feeling a thing and that’s the worst part about it - how lost you can actually be without ever knowing. 

Jamie knows this and when Dani holds up a bunch of bananas and asks her opinion on their ripeness, she knows that this kind, bubbly, and warm soul was meant to be the person to show her how much better life can really be when you find the person who makes you forget how it ever felt to be alone. Standing there in the middle of the produce section with Dani smiling that effortlessly gorgeous smile, she knows that being lost is how they found each other. 

“Perfect,” Jamie replies, but she’s not talking about the bananas. 

When they walk out of the shop with their arms filled with food, Dani stops to look at the bouquets of flowers that fill a rack to the right of the entrance. 

“Yours are much nicer but these smell so good,” she says as she leans in, inhaling the sweet floral scent. “We should get some.”

“We’re about to be gone for a week, baby,” Jamie says as she watches Dani goes from bouquet to bouquet, smelling all of them. “I think they’d just end up dead.”

The pet name isn’t lost on Dani and she smiles to herself as she gets to the end of the rack where one single bouquet of roses sits. They’ve seen better days and are beginning to wilt, with some of the petals having already fallen off and floated to the ground below. There’s a discount price sticker on them and she puts her bags of groceries down on the ground by her feet and picks the bouquet up, looking at each flower and noticing how lovely they really all still are. 

“These ones look so lonely. They deserve a better home than this, they’re too beautiful. You know what? I’m going to get them and we can drop them off for Albert. Everyone should get flowers now and then. I’ll be right back, okay?”

She moves past Jamie and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek then disappears inside the shop. Jamie stands idly by the rest of the flowers, guarding their groceries when she notices a familiar face approaching her from the other direction and she immediately turns around and shuts her eyes.

“Fuck,” she mumbles.

Through gritted teeth, Jamie opens her eyes and takes a deep breath, readying herself for whatever disaster is about to ensue, 

“Fucking hell, if it isn’t Jamie Taylor.”

The voice feels like a punch in the gut and Jamie is suddenly very glad that Dani’s ducked inside. She turns around and locks eyes with the woman who almost ruined what she has with Dani before it ever really got started and she doesn’t offer her a smile, just a blank look laced with a hint of disdain.

“Where the hell have you been lately? Been askin’ around about ya at the pub but no one seems to see you anymore. Went up to your flat once or twice and knocked but heard no answer.”

“I’ve been around,” Jamie replies and the woman looks her up and down, licking her lips and nodding. 

“Mhm, bet you have. I’ve missed ya. We used to have fun, you and me. Could get back into that if you want, got a few new tricks up my sleeve that I bet could make you scream.”

Jamie grimaces at the thought of ever being with a woman that isn’t Dani and the idea leaves a bad taste in her mouth. The woman, confident and bold, takes a step towards her and she takes one back in response, wanting as much distance between them as she can get.

Dani walks out of the shop with her nose buried in the flowers and she grins when she pulls them from her face. “They gave them to me for free! Can you believe that? The cashier told me the shop owner was just going to toss them in the trash after closing tonight and said it wouldn’t be fair for me to pay for what would just be garbage. These aren’t garbage, they’re lovely.”

“Dani…” Jamie pleads as she goes to retrieve the groceries she had set down on the ground, completely oblivious and unaware of the situation she just found herself in.

“Might be tough to carry this all home with the flowers now but I believe in us,” she says, trying to balance the paper bags and the bouquet in her arms. 

“Dani…” Jamie says again and it’s not until the redheaded woman clears her throat that Dani clues in on the situation.

Jamie turns around to look at her and mouths the words ‘I’m so sorry’ and Dani cranes her neck, confused for a moment before she spots the other woman - the woman who had been handsy with Jamie at the bar, the woman who had pounded on her door and flung herself into Jamie’s arms, the woman Dani had spent so long trying to get out of her head. She’s standing a few metres away from them with a sultry smile and a smug grin and it makes Dani furious. It makes her more jealous than she’d like to admit and she knows it’s foolish when she gets to go home with Jamie, not this woman, but she can’t help what she feels. 

“Name’s Sophie,” the woman says, “and you are?”

“Dani Clayton. I’m Jamie’s girlfriend.”

Sophie is slightly taken aback by the information and she crosses her arms. “Girlfriend? Bloody hell. Never thought I’d see the day when this one would be doing the whole monogamy thing. Pretty fast and loose for as long as I’ve known her. Bit wild, if you know what I mean.”

Jamie looks between both women, trying to decide if she should step in and say something, say anything, do something to break up the conversation, and send them all in their own separate ways but Dani has a glint in her eyes and she squares her shoulders, holds her head high and half-smiles. 

“Turns out she just had to find the right person,” Dani says. Sophie flinches slightly at her words and it fills Dani with a bit of pride. She decides not to give Sophie the satisfaction of responding and she looks at Jamie and shoots her a warm, loving smile, the kind that exists for her and her alone, and nods in the direction of home. Together, with their arms full of groceries and a bouquet of red roses, they both walk around Sophie and leave her standing alone outside of the supermarket.

The walk back to the flat is a little bit awkward and Jamie opens her mouth to say something twice but thinks better of it, choosing to live in the silence for a while longer. She wants to know every thought going through Dani’s head but would never push her to speak so she waits.

Dani unlocks the door and lets them both inside and Jamie steps past her and puts her grocery bags down on the kitchen table then leans back against it, waiting to see which one of them would speak first. Dani kicks the door closed with her foot and walks over to the counter and puts all of her bags down then reaches up into the cupboard to retrieve a vase for the flowers to go in until they give them to Albert. 

The flat is silent and Jamie looks down at her feet, tapping her knuckles against the edge of the kitchen table. Dani fills the vase with water then sets it down on the counter and swiftly crosses the floor towards her and before Jamie registers what's happening, Dani is slipping her arms around to the base of her neck and tugging her forward and into a deep kiss. Jamie’s hands lift up and slide around her back, slipping under her shirt and gripping the soft and bare skin of her above the waistband of her jeans and it earns her a whimper into her mouth. Dani’s hands move up into her hair and Jamie pulls her closer in between her legs, bringing their bodies flush together. In a moment when neither of them knew what to say, this kiss and their closeness says everything and finally, Dani pulls her lips away and drops her head into the space between Jamie’s neck and shoulder, and hugs her tightly. Tighter than she thinks she ever has, never wanting to let go. 

“I love you,” she whispers and Jamie lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“I love you too.”

A few minutes later, Dani removes herself from the embrace and looks into Jamie’s eyes. She brushes a lock of curly brown hair behind her ear and smiles.

“I was reading something at the shop the other day and - “

“Wait. You were reading? You?! Blimey. I’m shocked,” Jamie jokes and Dani rolls her eyes. 

“I’m trying to have a nice moment with you here, can I finish please?”

Jamie laughs a little bit and her hands begin to travel up and down Dani’s back beneath her shirt, fingers moving in gentle circles across her skin. “Sorry, go on.”

“I was reading something by Marcel Proust, he’s a french novelist and he wrote something about happiness that really struck a chord with me. It made me think of you. He said, let us be grateful for the people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. How lucky am I, right? The person who makes me happier than anything else in the world is an actual gardener.”

“We,” Jamie says, brushing her nose against Dani’s and holding her steady between her legs, admiring the sparkle in her eye as she smiles, “are both pretty damn lucky.”

“Oh, and by the way? I hate Sophie.”

“Dani...I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t know she’d be around today. Haven’t seen her since that last time outside my door. You know I’d be a bloody fool if I did anything now to risk what we have.”

“I know, I know,” Dani says. She kisses the worry off of Jamie’s face and when she pulls away, she glances over at the roses in the vase on the counter. “I might have been lying about giving those flowers to Albert...I wanted to get them for me.”

“Yeah, I know you did. Maybe we’ll bring ‘em on the trip. Who says you can’t keep flowers in the boot when you’re driving across the countryside?”

___________

An hour is all it takes for Dani and Jamie to gather their things and pack for the trip. They have no reservations, no timeline, no real plan aside from getting in the truck and heading west towards the water. The thought of traveling without any kind of schedule or itinerary is new to Dani and if she didn't have Jamie by her side to experience it with, she’d be a little more afraid than she’d ever let on. 

“Think that’s just about everything we need,” Jamie says as she places the last bag in the back of her truck. “Should take us around three hours to make it to the coast.”

Dani rounds the truck and leans up against it beside her, eyes scanning over everything in the backseat. The roses have somehow been carefully situated in the centre console in a big plastic juice bottle filled up with water, the spout having been cut off to allow the flowers to fit. They’re a bright pop of colour inside the vehicle and it warms Dani’s heart to see the effort Jamie had put in to make them travel safe. “Three hours? That’s it? It would probably take a day or more to get the ocean from where I grew up.”

“England is a small country, Dani. Doesn’t take all that long to get anywhere around here.”

“Hey...can I...can I drive maybe?”

Jamie laughs, thinking Dani’s only joking but when her expression doesn’t change, she realizes she’s being completely serious. “Wait...for real?”

“For real.”

“Dani...do you even know how to drive?”

“Of course I know how to drive. You think I’d ask if I didn’t know how to drive?” Dani tries to snatch the keys out of Jamie’s hands but she holds them up above their heads and dangles them, the jingling sound ringing out loudly. “I want to drive!”

“You can drive if you can get the keys!” Jamie hops around her, making them even harder to get but Dani pouts and it’s just too cute to deny so she sighs and gives in, holding them out for her to take. “Please don’t kill me, yeah? There's a whole lot of life in me still that I'm pretty keen on enjoyin'.”

Dani takes the keys and she grins. “I will do my very best. I love you too much for that.”

They both climb up into the truck and Dani gets settled in front of the wheel, fixing her mirrors and her seat position, taking the responsibility of being in Jamie’s seat very seriously. She puts the key in the ignition and turns it, bringing the vehicle to life, and then she wraps her fingers around the steering wheel.

“Ready?” She asks and Jamie puts a hand on her thigh, giving it a comforting squeeze. 

“Our holiday awaits.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a tough week mentally and I feel like this chapter isn’t one of my best because of it. To be totally honest, I’ve been a tad discouraged about my writing over the past few days for some reason and I doubted myself a lot while writing this update (had to tell myself it wasn’t shit more than once hahah, insecure much?) but I think it’s good to be honest and open about that as a creator and a human sometimes. I hope you still found some warmth and joy when reading this though because that’s all I want! ❤️


	15. Oceans & Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone (as I always do but more so this week) for the wonderful comments and the kudos that were left on the last chapter. All of it truly brightened my week and boosted my spirits. It means a lot to have so much love and support. I’m very lucky to have such kind people coming along on the journey that is this story with me! Wherever you are in the world, thank you ❤️
> 
> Now onto this chapter: did I intend on making the entire thing just day 1 of their trip? Hah! No. Is that what happened? ...yes. Oops. I hope you like it and can’t wait to find out if you do! Happy reading. x

“I love this song,” Dani says as Jamie’s truck rolls along a winding road. The sun is tucked away behind the clouds, peeking out every so often through small breaks in them and shadows float across the landscape ahead of them as they drive down hills and into small valleys. They’ve been driving for over an hour and have already passed through a few other small villages that have all looked nearly identical to the one they had left behind. Conversation has been easy, comfortable, the way it always is, and Jamie, despite her original assumptions upon agreeing to let Dani drive, finds herself enjoying the journey as a passenger. It was a rarity, mostly because she’d simply never had another person to come along for a ride until Dani and definitely not another person to drive. Her truck was very important to her.

“Actually don’t know it,” Jamie says and Dani begins to hum along to the melody. They managed to find a radio station playing songs from the ’60s and '70s and though it came through a little crackly, the signal slightly weak, Dani was thrilled to find some music with lyrics that she could sing along to. 

“You’ve never heard So Far Away by Carole King?”

“Was always more of a rock fan. Ramones, The Clash, Blondie and all that.”

“Ah, Blondie. My favourite t-shirt.”

Jamie scoffs and shakes her head. “MY favourite t-shirt, Dani. Just because it looks bloody amazing on you doesn’t make it yours.”

Dani looks in her direction and she smiles then shrugs her shoulders and fixes her gaze back on the road ahead. “I’d say I’m sorry but...I don’t want to. I like that shirt. It’s kind of perfect.”

“Baby, you’re lucky you’re cute.”

Laughter fills the car and then Dani starts enthusiastically singing along to the music. Jamie turns her body so she can watch more of the show she's putting on, preferring Dani’s performance over the vast countryside ahead of them and her heart nearly bursts out of her chest because of how much love she has for the woman in the driver's seat of her truck. If she had asked herself five years ago if she ever thought there would be a gorgeous blonde American sitting in the driver's seat of her truck singing along to one of her favourite songs she would have said, in these exact words probably; no fucking way.

“One more song about moving along the highway. Can’t say much of anything that’s new. But if I could only work this life out my way, I’d rather spend it being close to youuuuu.”

Jamie reaches for the volume dial to turn up the music and Dani glances at her as she bobs her head back and forth. The song feels fitting for their trip as they pass by fields full of cows and sheep, edging closer and closer to the sea, letting Carole King lead them. The road pulls them farther and farther away from their own quiet village, bringing them somewhere new, someplace different together, and as the final notes of the song ring out, Dani turns the volume down so the music becomes only background noise again until another song worthy of a show comes on.

“My mom played a lot of music when I was growing up. All kinds of different stuff, really. I loved it all,” she says. 

“Did you ever learn how to play an instrument?” Jamie asks. “Voice like yours, it would make sense.”

“Taught myself how to play the guitar the summer after high school ended and then played it a lot throughout college. I stopped for a long time though, probably haven't picked it up in over a year.”

“We should get one.”

“Get one of what?” 

“A guitar. Think Albert might even have one tucked away somewhere in his flat. Bet the thing is old as shite and covered in dust but I swear I’ve seen it. Could get it fixed up, new strings maybe? It would give you something to play. Do you know how to play that Carole King Song?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

“Used to know my way around a drum set a wee bit. Wouldn’t say I’m any good really but I can keep a beat. Bummed around with some musicians for a bit in London during my time there. Drank too much so those months aren’t so clear but I remember the drums.”

“What if we start a cover band?” Dani asks with a grin on her face. “We can put on a show for Albert in the shop.”

“Might be onto somethin’ there, Dani. I like the way you think,” Jamie replies. 

As they drive, they build a pretend setlist for their pretend band and imagine a career for themselves as musicians. Both having vivid imaginations and an affinity for big dreams, it’s easy to slip into a different world; one full of groupies and dirty bars, free drinks, and going from place to place to play their songs to adoring fans. In their pretend musical world, they're very successful and Dani insists that Jamie would be the most popular member of their two-person band because she already looked a bit like a rockstar. Jamie however insists that Dani would be the most popular, arguing that people always like the guitar player more than the drummer. 

“It’s just a fact, Dani,” she says, “no one cares about the drummer.”

“I care about the drummer,” Dani replies. 

When the question arises of what they should name their band they spend nearly twenty minutes tossing names back and forth hoping one of them will stick. 

“I didn’t think naming a band would be so hard,” Dani says. 

“I say we both shout the first thing that comes to mind, we combine ‘em and boom, that’s our band name,” Jamie replies. 

“I’ll count down from three and then we’ll both say something, okay?”

Jamie nods. There’s a cheeky smile on her face and she keeps her eyes fixed on Dani. When you’re with a person who fills your soul and illuminates all of your darkest places, every conversation is special. Every moment with them, every shared breath, every ounce of laughter. It all means something and this conversation, this silly chat about a fake band and the career they will have as members is the kind of conversation Jamie knows she would only ever have with Dani. She isn’t quite sure why that is but if she had to give it a reason, she would say that Dani is the only person who has ever truly allowed her to be herself this way. There are no filters, no self-doubt, no second-guessing. She can just be _Jamie_. 

If she makes a joke that she knows is awful, Dani will still laugh. If she gets lost in conversation talking about something she loves, Dani will listen with open ears and an open heart, engaged in every word, never rushing her or pushing for an end to the conversation. If she questions herself and feels a bout of anxiety, Dani will take her hand and guide her back down to a calmer place. Dani. She’s always there, the constant and brightest light in her life. Her north star. When her world shifts, when it swirls around her and she loses her footing and can’t find her way out of whatever hole she’d dug for herself, Dani is stillness, security, and she is always within reach. A conversation filled with laughter and a little insanity, one where they’ve dreamt up a whole fictional reality for themselves, means more to Jamie than it might to most other people.

“Right. I’m ready. Let’s give it a go.”

“Okay. 3-2-1…”

“Ocean!”

“Roses!”

Dani narrows her eyes and she quickly glances in Jamie’s direction. “Roses? That was the first word that came to mind?”

“Oy, you said ocean! What’s wrong with roses?” Jamie asks with slight offense. “I can smell ‘em beside me here in their fancy juice bottle vase that I made just so you could have the flowers with you. You love roses. Why’d you say ocean?”

“I said ocean because that’s where we’re going and since I’m driving there, I’m thinking about it.”

“Right then. Ocean Roses it is. Not the worst band name I’ve ever heard, to be fair. Might even look decent on a t-shirt.”

“I’d wear it. If it’s cool enough maybe it’ll even mean you could have your Blondie shirt back. No promises though.”

Jamie reaches an arm out and cups Dani’s cheek. She strokes her thumb across her soft skin and thinks for a moment then drops her hand and leans up over the roses to kiss her on the cheek. She stays close, noting how hard Dani is trying, and failing, to not smile. 

“Dani...I’m not gettin’ the Blondie shirt back anytime soon, am I?”

Dani gives her head a shake Jamie sits back in her seat with a long and over-dramatic sigh.

A few moments pass by in comfortable silence and then Dani takes a deep breath and exhales loudly to get Jamie’s attention again. “I guess we should start planning our world tour now, right?” 

They pull up to a stop sign and Jamie points left, knowing that’s where they need to turn to get onto one of the busier roads that would lead them closer to the seafront. She’d taken the drive out to the ocean on her own before, needing a solitary cleansing of the mind and soul, the water and the fresh sea air always making her feel better. Somehow, she’s always remembered the way.

“For the tour...maybe we start with America?” She says, looking in both directions for traffic. 

There are no other vehicles behind them and Dani decides that it’s okay to linger at the stop sign for a minute. They aren’t in any rush and no one is around or driving up behind them to hurry them along. She looks at Jamie and can’t help as her smile grows into a bashful grin. Jamie's hair is pulled up and pinned behind her ears and some of her brown curls have slipped out of the pins, falling loosely around the base of her neck. So many times now Dani has run her fingers through those soft brown locks, fingers grazing across her neck and brushing the hair behind her ears. 

There were times in heated moments, moments when lips are wanting to kiss everywhere, when her hands would linger on the nape of Jamie’s neck before her fingers would slip up into the mess of beautiful brown waves. There were lazy mornings and long afternoons spent in bed with her, lost in easy conversation about a million different things and nothing at all and she would let her fingers stroke her hair and play with it, twirling it around her fingers. Somehow, no matter what she did with it, Jamie’s hair always looked incredible and Dani often couldn’t keep herself from getting close to it. 

She leans over the roses, the ones positioned so safely and with such care, and eliminates the space between them. She puts a hand on the back of her neck, feeling the curls that have come free and with her other hand, she gently grabs a handful of her shirt and Jamie turns, finding her much closer than she expects. She bats her eyelashes open, a little confused, but the confusion doesn’t last long as Dani pulls her forward into a kiss. When she breaks the kiss and settles back into her own seat, Jamie’s cheeks are slightly flushed and it’s a nice change, not being the one with the blush spreading across her face for once. Jamie would deny it but Dani thinks she looks utterly adorable with rosy cheeks. 

“One day I will take you to America, I promise.”

___________

The first stop of their trip is in a little village not all that far from the ocean. It’s old, older than their own and Dani finds a place to park the truck and they both hop out and begin to wander. The clouds have parted and with a warm breeze in the air, it’s turned into the most perfect spring day. They stroll past old brick buildings with vines winding their way up the sides, making their home between the cracks and beautifully tended to gardens with bright and colourful flowers. Jamie makes a point of saying how nice she thinks the gardens are but makes sure to note what she’d do differently and how it could be improved. 

Their hands brush against one another as they walk and it makes Dani’s skin tingle. Her fingers twitch, aching to reach out to take Jamie’s hand in hers but she knows where they are and how the community around them may not be as accepting as other places. Jamie’s eyes glance in her direction every so often and then she makes a choice for the both of them. Her own fingers stretch out and slip in between Dani’s and when Dani’s eyes flick down at their hands between them then up to her with a smile that reaches every corner of her eyes, a look of adoration and delight, Jamie knows she made the right choice. Being with Dani in every way is always the right choice. 

They walk past a charity shop and Dani stops to peer in through the window. “Want to go in?” 

“Yeah, why not. You never know what you’ll find in these places.”

She reluctantly lets go of Jamie’s hand and she walks to the door and pushes it open. They step inside to find that they are now the only people in the shop aside from an elderly woman, small in stature with thick-rimmed glasses on her face, sitting in a chair behind a counter with knitting needles in her hand and a roll of yarn in her lap. She looks up from the work she’s doing on what looks to be a scarf, an odd choice with July only days away, and gives them one of the friendliest smiles that both Dani and Jamie have ever seen. 

“Good afternoon, ladies. Can I help you find anything?” 

Dani shakes her head and returns her smile. “We’re just browsing.”

“Oh, how lovely. Well, please enjoy. My name is Betty and I’ll be right here in this chair if you need any help.”

“Thanks, Betty,” Jamie says. “Keep up the good work with that knitting, yeah? Looks great so far.”

The store is slightly larger than it seemed on the outside and together, Dani and Jamie begin to wander through the racks of clothes, stopping to pick up anything that seems interesting and holding it against their bodies

“I reckon I’d look good in this,” Jamie says, pulling up a purple and grey striped button-up shirt off the rack. It would be a little too big for her frame but she didn’t mind the oversized look. 

Dani looks up from the article of clothing she herself is admiring and she tilts her head to the side. “You have like three shirts that are nearly identical to that one.”

“Yeah,” Jamie says, wondering what’s so wrong about that fact, “and they all look great.”

“Why do you need another one then?” Dani asks with a soft smile. 

“Because my girlfriend keeps taking ‘em and wearing ‘em to work or wearing ‘em in the morning when she gets out of bed and isn’t keen on putting anything else on. Bit miffed about it, to be honest. The shirt thing...not you refusing to wear anything underneath it. That’s totally fine by me.”

“Then you should probably tell your girlfriend to stop stealing your clothes.” Dani drops her eyes back to the rack in front of her, grinning to herself. She can practically feel Jamie rolling her eyes and then suddenly there are a pair of strong arms around her waist, a body pressing into her from behind, and a pair of lips at the shell of her ear. 

“Tried that before, a few times actually. Didn’t work so well. Any tips on how to make it stick?”

Dani leans back into Jamie’s embrace, not at all caring that just across the store, Betty is sitting in full view of them. Jamie doesn’t seem to care either as she drops a hand from her waist and brings it up to brush the hair away from her neck. Those same lips that ghosted the shell of her ear, speaking in a hushed tone with a sultry voice, float down to her neck and begin to kiss their way across the newly uncovered skin. 

“Don’t...tell her...that she looks...that she looks good in them?” Dani finds it hard to focus on speaking, her words fumbling out as Jamie kisses her neck.

“See, if I did that then I’d be lyin’ because she looks good in everything.”

With her eyes now closed, Dani tilts her head slightly to give Jamie more access to her neck and she accepts the access with an eagerness but then Betty coughs and the sound echoes throughout the shop. They both freeze and slowly glance in her direction, expecting to find her glaring at them. Instead, they find her with her focus still fixed entirely on her knitting, not at all caring, completely unaware of them entirely. It makes them both laugh and Jamie drops her head down on Dani’s shoulder. 

“You should get that shirt,” Dani says, putting her hands on top of Jamie’s on her waist. “You’re right, it would look good on you.”

Jamie lifts her head and she smiles.“And it’s only four quid. A bargain, really. Meant to be I think.”

“Let’s find something for me then. A dress maybe?”

They wander deeper into the store, towards the racks at the very back and Dani begins to paw through all of the dresses, hoping to find something light and airy, something perfect to wear by the water. Jamie stands close by, looking through some denim and she comes across a pair of light blue denim overalls that have been turned into cut-off overall shorts. Most years it wouldn’t be quite warm enough to wear shorts by the water just yet but the spell of mid-summer warmth at the end of spring made it a fitting choice. They are slightly spattered with specks of different coloured paint, obviously owned and worn by an artist of some kind in their former life, and something about them makes her think of Dani. 

“Hey, I know it’s not a dress but...how about this?”

“Hmm?” Dani tears her eyes away from the dresses and looks to Jamie as she holds out the item in question in front of her.

“I know overalls is usually more my thing but somethin’ about these shouts Dani Clayton to me.”

“They shout my name, do they?” 

Dani leaves the dresses and walks a few metres over to Jamie, taking the hanger from her hands. She holds the overalls up to her body and Jamie smiles, nodding in approval.

“Blimey. Dani Clayton, it’s like someone made ‘em just for you.”

“They are kind of cool, huh?” Dani looks at the price tag and then back at Jamie. “And they’re only twelve pounds.”

“Bet Betty over there will be thrilled to find out she’s making two sales today. A whopping 16 quid.”

After the charity shop, they wander the village for a while longer, popping into a small cafe for a cup of tea and a scone. It was nice, Jamie noted to Dani as they sipped their tea and spread jam and clotted cream on the warm scones, to not have a timeline or an itinerary. It was nice to follow their hearts and do as they pleased. After all, it was rare to have so much time and so much open road and countryside ahead of them.

“Feel a bit like a proper British lady right now. Don’t think I’ve ever even had an afternoon tea like this. How posh. Wonder if Lizzie would be proud of me?” Jamie picks up her tea cup, a piece of china dusted with little purple flowers and sticks out her pinky finger. 

“Whose Lizzie?”

“The Queen, Dani. Lizzie is Queen Elizabeth.”

“Oh. Right. I knew that…”

When they decide they’re finished and ready to carry on to somewhere new, Jamie’s truck rumbles to life and she places their charity shop finds in the back beside the rest of their things then climbs up into the passenger seat, Dani beside her at the wheel once more and they head off on the next leg of their travels. 

At one point during the drive, a wild idea pops into Jamie’s head and her hand floats over the centre console, landing on Dani’s thigh. Her fingers drift inwards and she watches as Dani’s expression changes, her lips parting slightly and her cheeks turning a lighter pink. 

“Jamie...what are you doing…”

“Not sure what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Your hand, Jamie. I’m driving.”

Jamie smirks, enjoying the way Dani’s body seems to tense and then relax into her touch as her hand drifts inward further, stroking and palming more of her. “And?”

“I...Jamie...it’s very hard to focus when you’re doing what you’re doing. Remember when you told me not to kill you?”

“You really want me to stop?”

Dani’s eyes flick over to her and she shakes her head slightly then looks back at the road in front of them. 

“I’m going to pull off the road up here.”

And Dani does pull off the road onto another, one with far less traffic. She puts the truck in park on the shoulder of what’s more of a gravel thoroughfare than a road, something only used for very local traffic and it takes Jamie all of thirty seconds to pull her pant zipper down and slip her hand inside, her fingers meeting a warm slickness that allows them to easily glide across her, quite a step up from fingers simply ghosting over her thigh above her jeans.

Dani shuts her eyes and keeps both hands gripping the steering wheel. She doesn’t know what else to do, how else to react in the moment because this is the farthest thing from anything she expected to happen during their trip and they hadn’t even made it to any sort of real destination yet. If it were any sign of how the rest of the week would play out, she was going to have to be incredibly open and ready for surprises. 

The angle is a little awkward and Jamie’s wrist begins to ache but she doesn’t stop. She can’t. Not when the little whimpers escaping Dani’s mouth are spurring her on, not when her name tumbles from perfect lips in a huff of hot air and absolute pleasure. How could she stop when she was making Dani feel this good?

When she comes, her breath ragged and her moans quiet and timid despite the way her hands still grip the steering wheel, despite the way her hips rock forward into Jamie’s skilled hand, Dani wonders if this is something people do often. She wonders if this kind of intimacy on the side of the road in practically the middle of nowhere is common or if Jamie just can’t get enough of her sometimes, if they can’t get enough of each other. The latter seems more realistic. When she becomes too sensitive her hands finally release their grip of the steering wheel and drop down to hold Jamie’s arm still, stopping her hand from continuing its work inside of her underwear as it helps her ride out all of the small aftershocks of pleasure. 

“Enjoyin’ your trip so far?” Jamie asks very nonchalantly as though giving her a pretty damn good orgasm in the driver's seat of her own car on the side of a road was not at all interesting. Not at all worth glorifying or making a big deal out of.

“Mmhmm. Yup. It’s...it’s been great so far,” Dani replies. Her eyes are still closed and Jamie chuckles a little as she slowly pulls the hand out of her pants.

“Nice detour but we should probably get back to the main road. We’re makin’ good time, don’t want to lose momentum.”

Dani’s eyes flutter open and she looks at Jamie in slight disbelief. “That’s all you have to say for yourself?”

“Fine, you in the driver's seat behind the wheel of my truck with my hand in your trousers? Pretty much one was one of the sexiest things ever. That better?”

A laugh bubbles up from Dani’s chest and she closes her eyes again, letting her head fall forward against the steering wheel as the laughter comes flooding out of her. This is what it means to be comfortable, to be totally at ease with someone. Being able to laugh around someone and with someone in moments of intimacy, moments of honesty, and moments of uncertainty is a rare gift. Laughter like this only comes when you recognize that the person beside you not only trusts your feelings but they understand exactly how you feel and when Jamie joins Dani in the laughter, it’s just another reminder of how well they fit together. Another reminder of how comfortable they’ve become around each other, how wonderful it truly feels, and how lucky they are to be able to laugh like this. Not everyone gets to have this but they do and they’ve never taken it for granted.

___________

“We’re close, aren’t we?” Dani asks as mile markers and nautical-themed advertisements pass them by in a blurred flash. 

“Someone’s eager,” Jamie replies and Dani smiles, gripping the steering wheel tightly out of excitement and anticipation, reasons that aren’t all that different from why Jamie had made her grip the wheel earlier. 

“I can’t help it. I know it’s just water but it’s not just any water, it’s the ocean!”

“First thing we should do is head to a place that Albert mentioned to me, said we could speak to someone about a little flat for the week or just a coupla days if we want to take off down the coast a bit more. Should be easy to get a place since it’s not peak tourist season just yet. Might even get lucky and get a room with a view, a place right close to the water.”

“You know...for a man that hasn’t left that little town in what seems like a very long time, he sure does know a lot of people and a lot of places.”

“Albert’s just special that way. Don’t know why, the old bloke just is.”

When the truck drives up over the hill, Dani gets her first view of the water and her eyes go wide at the vastness of it stretched out ahead of them for miles – the blue-gray water seemingly drawing them nearer and nearer.

“Wow,” Dani says.

“Just wait till you smell the air. There’s truly nothin’ like sea air.”

They make their way down a winding road towards the water and Jamie tells Dani to make a right at the next intersection. She pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket that has some numbers and a name scrawled across it and she directs Dani to a few different streets until she pulls into the parking lot of a wide two-story building that faces out towards the water. They both climb out of the truck and Jamie wanders over to the top of a set of steps beside the building that leads right down to the beach. She looks out over the water, noticing a few people surfing the choppy waves out past a long pier. The waves glint in the sun, making it look as though pieces of glass drift across them.

Jamie slips her hands into her pockets and Dani comes to stand beside her, fixing her own gaze on the water as well.

“So where are we exactly?” She asks.

“Few miles from Blackpool I think. Thought it might be nice to end up somewhere quiet, bit more private. That alright?”

“More than alright.”

The sound of the water ebbing and flowing below them is calming and Jamie closes her eyes as it washes over her. She inhales deeply, letting the air live within her lungs for a moment before letting everything out in a way that feels like it’s synched up with the tide pulling water away from the shore.

“You were right,” Dani says as she copies Jamie, breathing in the salty air, _really_ breathing it in. She can almost taste the sea on her lips, the familiar hint of salt in her mouth as she inhales and exhales. “There isn’t anything like sea air.”

Slowly, Jamie flutters open her eyelids and turns her head to look at Dani. “Thank you,” she says.

“For what?”

“For coming here with me and for just...loving me. I know we say it a lot, I love you, and I know it’s always special but some days it feels...bigger, maybe? I don’t know how else to explain it. Some days I’m just really reminded of how lucky I am to have you in my life. Might be a cheesy thing to say but it’s the God honest truth.”

“Jamie, you don’t need to thank me for that. All of this? This is more than I ever thought I’d have and loving you is the easiest and most natural thing I’ve ever done. I think I was made to love you.”

Jamie steps closer to Dani and reaches out for her hands, taking them in hers and brushing thumbs over her knuckles. “You ever think about how different things would’ve been if you never bought that plane ticket?”

“I try not to because the only thing that matters is that I did.”

Much like the tide always pulls the ocean towards the shoreline no matter what is happening in the world, love pulls Dani and Jamie together and their lips meet in a kiss that makes them feel exactly as their first kiss in Dani’s doorway did – as though no two things were ever meant to be together more than they were. Emotions swirl around them, mingling in the sweet and salty sea air and Jamie’s arm moves around Dani’s waist to pull her closer into her body. A minute or so later, they break apart and Dani lifts a finger to brush a lock of hair off Jamie’s forehead.

“Guess we should head inside and talk to someone about that little flat, hmm?”

“Yeah, guess we should. The ocean’ll still be there once we get it sorted. Don’t think it’s dryin’ up just yet.”

As it turns out, Albert really did have connections in all of the places he said he did and Jamie gets a deal on a small flat that they pay to rent for the first few days of their trip, deciding to end the trip in Blackpool proper to enjoy the sights and attractions of the pier. The flat is furnished but small; an open plan studio type of place with a ‘bedroom’ situated a few feet away from a small kitchen with no walls separating the two. Nearly one whole wall consists of large windows that look directly out across the water, letting natural afternoon sunlight flood the space, turning it a soft and warm golden colour. 

“Bloody brilliant,” Jamie says.

“I definitely think this will work for a few days,” Dani replies.

She leaves Jamie by the windows to head off and investigate the washroom, the only separate room in the flat, and the first thing her eyes land on in the corner makes her even more excited about having the place to themselves for a while.

“Hey,” she calls out, “come see this.”

Jamie takes one more look out the window then walks into the washroom where she finds Dani sitting in a large empty hot tub style bath that takes up most of the room. Her feet are kicked up onto the edge of the tub and her arms are stretched out on either side of her.

“Couldn’t make the bedroom its own thing but at least there’s this. How do I look?”

“Like you belong in there,” Jamie replies with a laugh.

“Come on in, the water’s great.”

“I reckon we save that for tonight. Could really use a hot bath after all that driving today.”

Dani pulls herself up and Jamie takes her hand to help her climb out of the tu. They walk back out into the main flat area and Dani sits on the edge of the bed that faces the window then leans backward so she’s lying down.

“Comfy bed.”

Jamie lands like a rock beside her and it makes Dani’s body bounce up slightly off the mattress. She laughs and Jamie rolls over so she’s pressing into her side. “Maybe we go down to the water tomorrow, maybe, for now, we just stay here in this bed. Won’t be miffed if you’re into that idea.” She puts an arm over Dani’s abdomen and brushes her nose against her cheek.

“We came all this way to be by the water,” Dani replies as Jamie plays with the fabric of her shirt.

“Technically...we are by the water.”

Dani turns onto her side so they can face one another. “There will be a lot more time for us to be here but I want to feel the water. Please?”

The sun catches in Dani’s blue eyes in a way that lights them up even more than usual, making them sparkle like some kind of aquamarine gemstone, and Jamie gets lost in them for a second before Dani smiles and pokes her arm.

_Blimey, this girl. How did another world not steal her for itself before she came into mine?_

“Hey, are you listening to me?”

“Yeah.”

“It doesn’t seem like it. You’re just staring at me.”

“You’re very nice to stare at, and your eyes...they’re a little bit like the sea. The way the light’s reflectin’ right now. It’s beautiful.”

The oh-so-familiar blush that Jamie adores appears on Dani’s face and she looks slightly taken aback by the compliment. Jamie could be very poetic sometimes without ever really realizing it. She had a way with words and Dani had thought on more than occasion that she could be a writer if she put some time into it but whenever the idea was mentioned she would shrug it off, insisting that she’d rather stick to reading books - she didn’t fancy writing them. If she really was poetic, and Dani liked to assure her that she was, she was very much okay with just one woman being on the receiving end of her words.

“Stop trying to get to me to stay in this bed,” Dani whispers.

Fingers reach out to find a patch of bare skin, any bare skin, for contact and Jamie shivers slightly when Dani’s fingers land on her collarbone. An index finger travels its length back and forth, dipping into her clavicle and she swallows. “Not tryin’...I swear.”

“I don’t think I believe you.”

“If I really wanted to keep ya here in this bed right now,” Jamie replies, her voice a little low and husky, “I’d have done it already and you’d be wearing a hell of a lot less.”

“Jamie...you don’t play fair. In fact, you play dirty with your sexy words and your sexy voice.”

Jamie laughs. “Haven’t been playin’ dirty but I can start if ya want me to.” Dani rolls her eyes now and pushes her away lovingly as she rolls up to a seated position then gets off the bed. Jamie sits up on her elbows and looks past Dani out the window at the water. She wants to be down by the water just as much as Dani does but she can’t help herself sometimes – Dani, the sweet blonde with an air of innocence about her, though sometimes she was so _very_ far from innocent, made it too damn easy. “Let’s go to the sea.”

___________

The water is bloody cold. Of course, it’s cold. Why wouldn’t it be cold? It’s the beginning of June in England so naturally, the Atlantic Ocean is cold but for some reason, Dani doesn’t expect it to be as cold as it is. With the sun shining low in the sky and golden hour rays of light flooding down on the surface of the water and the shoreline, it all looks almost tropical. The temperature however is nowhere near that of a tropical destination and as soon as Dani wades hesitantly into the water with her white trainers in hand and her pants cuffed, she very quickly jogs right back out of it.

“It’s nicer from a distance,” she says and Jamie furrows her brow and narrows her eyes. “I can say I’ve touched it now.”

“That’s it? That’s all you want to do? Come on, Dani. We can do better than that.”

“I’d like to see you go in then. Go ahead. I’ll wait right here.”

Jamie accepts the challenge, she was planning on stepping into the water anyway, and she unties the laces of her high top black and white converse and pulls them off of her feet along with her socks. She rolls up each leg of her already cuffed pants once more then looks at Dani with an expression that screams confidence. It was just water; how bad could it be? She steps backward, inching closer to the waves as they roll in, gaze never straying from Dani’s face. She is strong, she is confident and she can do it. The water rushes in around her ankles and she fakes a smile that’s more gritted teeth than it is actual smile. It was fine. Manageable. If only she could trick her body into feeling what her mind wants to. 

“Fucking Christ,” she eventually spits out, quickly running back away from the water. She can’t do it. It’s too cold. “I reckon you might be right about the whole nicer from a distance thing...”

“Come on Jamie, we can do better than that,” Dani says with a terrible British accent, mocking her.

She doesn’t want to smile but Jamie can’t stop her lips from curling up. “Oy, don’t be cheeky. Better watch it or you’ll be sleepin’ out here on the sand. The accent needs work by the way.”

“You should teach me then. Give me a lesson. I want to sound British.”

“Not sure there’s much hope for you if that accent is your jumpin' off point...”

They walk along the beach for a mile or so until they decide to take a seat and watch the waves for a while. They don’t speak, they simply listen to the crashing of the water in the distance and find comfort in the way it laps at the edge of the sand when it draws back, retreating into itself. The sun has dipped lower in the sky and the horizon is beginning to glow in a hazy orange hue. Golden hour has never seemed quite so golden before and it’s as if the sun and sky are putting on a show just for the two of them as they sit side by side in the rocky sand. 

“I almost drowned in the local pool one summer when I was 4,” Dani says. Her voice cuts through the rhythmic sound of the environment around them and Jamie pulls her eyes from the water to look at her, finding her with eyes closed and a slight uncertain grin.

“Jesus, Dani.”

“It was my fault. I paddled out into the deep end and took off my water wings, entirely convinced that I knew how to swim without them. Imagine a little kid thinking that, just a baby still when you think about it. No one was really paying much attention to my thrashing, the struggling of me trying to keep my head above the surface until suddenly the thrashing stopped and then they clued into something being wrong because it got a little too quiet.”

“Were you breathing?”

“I only remember bits and pieces after I dipped under the water but I’ve heard my mom tell the story before and in her version, I coughed up about a litre of water, and then I could breathe again. I was alive.”

When you look at someone without any context of what their life is like beyond the borders of what you can see, when you look at them without any context of what’s made them who they are, what’s made them stronger – you make assumptions. You fill in the blanks for yourself and you can lie and tell yourself you don’t, but you do. We all do. It’s what Jamie did. Dani though...wow, Dani was always so much more than any assumption Jamie had ever made about her and she was constantly being amazed by every new thing she was privileged enough to learn about her.

“You’re a hell of a lot stronger than you look, you know that right?” She says, her voice laced with a sense of bewilderment. 

“I think most of us are,” Dani replies as she opens her eyes and peers at Jamie. “Most kids might be afraid of water after something like that, most adults too.”

“But you weren’t?”

Dani shakes her head. “For whatever we lose, like a you or a me...” She takes a deep breath and lets the salty air fill her lungs completely then releases it all out and relaxes her shoulders. “...it’s always our self we find in the sea.”

“E.E Cummings. I know my poetry these days, pretty proud of it actually. I have you to thank for that.”

“We just sold one of his books at the shop to a teen boy who wanted to know more about poetry so he could talk to a pretty girl about it. Told him E.E Cummings might work for him and he took a chance.”

“What made you pick that book? Albert’s got loads of poetry books 'round the shop, bet any one of ‘em could’ve done the job.”

Dani smiles and bumps her shoulder into Jamie’s. “I told him E.E Cummings worked for me. I got the girl, maybe he could too.”

Jamie leans over and cups her cheek. Her eyes flick down to her lips and then she closes the last little space between them and kisses her. When she leans back, Dani moves into her, seeking out her lips for more but Jamie only gives her one more quick peck before dropping the hand from her cheek down onto her thigh. Dani bats open her eyes and grins bashfully.

“You definitely got the girl,” she says as she puts an arm around Dani's shoulders and holds her. She kisses the side of her head and brushed her nose against her cheek then looks back out at the waves.

They stay on the shoreline until the sun goes down, leaving them in the evening afterglow, the blue haze of day that lingers before night falls entirely. Without the sun in the sky now, a chill settles in the air but they stay close and they stay warm, not quite ready to say goodnight to the ocean just yet.

___________

The Salty Sailor, a place with ship wheels and anchors hanging on its walls, floorboards that have seen far better days, and booths with cracked and peeling red vinyl covering foam seats wasn’t exactly the place Jamie pictured when she had imagined the first night of her holiday with Dani but sometimes things just happen. It is meant to be an adventure after all. 

There was something about the place that drew them in when they had walked by – perhaps it was the noise from inside spilling out onto the street; the sound of a live band performing covers of old rock songs that are so bad they’re almost good or maybe it was the smell of greasy and timeless pub food that their hungry stomachs couldn’t ignore. Either way, they find themselves nestled into a booth just to the right of the bar drinking cheap pints of beer and sharing a plate of chips as the band takes a five-minute break.

“Why do you call fries chips but you call chips crisps? And don’t even get me started on biscuits.”

Jamie dunks one in a bit of ketchup and pops it into her mouth then takes a quick swig of her beer and swallows. “Is that meant to be a riddle?”

“No, I’m serious. I don’t get it.”

“Why do yanks call football _football_ when you play it with your hands? Bit dodgy in my opinion. Football is called football because you kick the ball...with your feet.”

Dani laughs and eats a couple of fries then drinks her own beer. She shrugs her shoulders and decides her curiosity will not be indulged tonight, not when Jamie’s rebuttal argument is so much more valid.

A bartender approaches their booth with four shots and they both look at him in confusion.  
“Two gents across the pub wanted me to send these to the lovely ladies in the booth,” he says.

Dani is about to refuse but Jamie thinks for a second and nods her head, silently telling the bartender that he can set them down. He bows his head and disappears back behind the bar and she looks at the shots with an open mind and a slightly heavier wallet, recognizing the fact she didn’t have to pay for them. 

“I don’t want alcohol from some guys who just want to hit on us, Jamie. I’m here with you, I don’t want to deal with that sort of thing tonight.”

“And we won’t, Dani. We’ll finish our food, drink a coupla free drinks, then head back to the flat and get into that big tub that I can’t stop thinkin’ about you in.”

“What if they come over?”

Neither of them looks across the room in fear of locking eyes with their generous drink providers who definitely don’t have any ulterior motives except they probably have all of the ulterior motives because two new pretty faces in the small-town local don’t often go ignored.

“If they come over, we say thanks and then enjoy your night. We don’t owe ‘em a thing. They chose to give these to us, that’s on them, yeah? Just enjoy it. If there’s trouble, I’ll sort it out. Promise.”

In a flash, one of the shot glasses is emptied and Jamie is swallowing the clear liquid, tequila, and setting the glass back down on the table. Her certainty and reassurance puts Dani at ease and she picks up one of the shot glasses then tosses the contents back, scowling as the aftertaste of the strong alcohol lingers in her mouth.

“Oh god, that’s not good. I’d rather have whisky.”

“You’ve had whisky with me before, didn’t much take to it though.” 

“Whisky with you is different from tequila with a stranger in a bar.”

The band gets back up on stage and the guitar player starts to tune his instrument and after a few mumbled words between bandmates, the drummer smacks the snare drum five times and they all begin to play. It’s an unfamiliar tune to Dani and Jamie but everyone else around them seems to be completely into it.

“I say we finish our fries and our drinks and slip out while the bands on stage,” Dani has to practically shout so Jamie can hear her. “The music is so loud and the place is packed. No one will even notice us leaving. It’s the perfect getaway.”

“Don’t really feel like eating the rest of the chips anyway so...cheers.”

Jamie picks up one shot glass and Dani picks up the other. They clink them against each other, raise them to their lips, and swallow the tequila in unison. Dani chases hers with her beer, preferring its hoppy flavour over the harshness of the tequila. Jamie bangs her fist onto the table and does the same thing, picking up her beer to take a sip except she drains the pint glass entirely and sets it back down on the table with a satisfying thud.

“Catch up, babe,” she says.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to give in to peer pressure?” The question comes out before Dani really thinks about her words and she instantly wishes she can pull them back and stuff them deep down inside, far away from any chance of hurting Jamie in some way. “Oh, Jamie. I’m...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring her up like that. I know - “

“Hey, it’s okay.” Jamie reaches across the table for her hand and she gives it a comforting squeeze. “All good, really.”

With her free hand, Dani picks up her pint glass and chugs the rest of the beer. She slams the glass down on the table and locks eyes with Jamie. “Ready to make a run for it?”

In perfect unison they both get up from their seats and Jamie grabs Dani’s hand, tugging her through the crowd of pub goers and together they burst through the door and stumble out onto the street in a fit of laughter. There is no one else around outside and the building seems to shake as though the walls might all fall down from the ferocity of the noise just barely being contained inside.

“Should we come back to the Salty Sailor the same time next year?” Dani cranes her neck up at the pub sign to look at a wooden image of a sailor with a peg leg holding a glass of beer that overflows with foam. Two street lamps shine on it and a large red and yellow neon sign that just says _PUB _flickers beside it. “Make it a tradition?”__

____

____

Jamie slips her arms around her from behind and shakes her head. “Feels more like a once in a lifetime kind of thing. Mate can be just as salty without us.”

Dani laughs and Jamie turns her face slightly to look more closely at her. “Hah, mate,” Dani says, “like matey. Like a pirate, because he’s a sailor. That’s funny.”

“Dani...you had two shots and a single pint...are you drunk?”

“No...” She hiccups. “Maybe just a tiny bit. Tequila!”

___________

The tub is big enough for a twin of them both and when Jamie sinks down into it, she realizes just how much her body needs it. She sighs in relief at the sensation of being surrounded by hot water, any tension in muscles just melting away, and when Dani enters the bathroom and strips off her clothes, she sighs for a very different reason.

“Come on in, the water’s great,” she says with a wink, repeating Dani’s own words from earlier.

Dani gathers her hair and pulls it up into a bun using a hair tie from her wrist to secure it in place and Jamie’s eyes never leave her. They travel her frame, gazing upon her bare peach skin, lingering on the slope and swell of her breasts and the curve of her waist. Masterpiece would come to mind if Jamie had to use a word to describe her body. 

“Like what you see?” Dani laughs a little bit when she catches Jamie nearly drooling. She steps one leg over the edge of the tub and then the other and sits down in the water. She shimmies backward into Jamie’s body so her back is flush against Jamie’s front and then she lets her head roll back onto her shoulder. 

“This is incredible,” she says quietly. 

Jamie presses her lips to the top of Dani’s shoulder and her hands glide under the water and wrap around her front so she’s hugging her from behind. “Mmm, yeah, it is.”

“It’s been such an amazing trip already and it’s only been one day. I can’t believe we get a whole week of this.”

“Could have a whole lifetime of this if I asked you,” Jamie mumbles quietly, too quietly for Dani to really hear. 

She had thought of it, a future with Dani. They both had thought of it at one time or another and they knew in their hearts that it would be there but Jamie had begun to imagine an entire life with Dani in much more detail. An entire life for herself. She’d never before felt like she could visualize those things this way, never felt that she would get to live any kind of life worth making a fuss about. There were nights when she’d lay awake in bed with Dani’s head on her chest as her fingers stroked her blonde hair, a comforting gesture more for herself than for Dani and she’d picture it all; a ring, a dress, music, and the flowers that she would, of course, do herself. 

It was still far too soon to ever voice these thoughts to Dani. Far, far too soon. They had already moved much faster than most people would have by this point in a relationship but the heart wants what it wants and more often than not, it’s a force that simply cannot be contained. It doesn’t stop her from getting lost in the images that flood her mind from time to time, like right now as Dani sighs, relaxing against her body more and sinking a little deeper into the big tub.

“We should get a tub like this someday,” Dani says. 

_Someday. One day. A whole life with you._

“Tub like this would be nice,” Jamie replies. 

“Also...we should probably go out to a market tomorrow to get some food for this place. We have nothing to eat.”

Jamie smirks and shrugs a little. “I have somethin’ to eat later.”

“Jamie, the fridge is empty there’s nothing you can...oh.” Suddenly she realizes the intention behind what Jamie has said and her eyes widen in both shock and delight. “Oh! Okay. Right. Yeah.”

“Don’t have to though...I’m sure I can wait till we go to the shops tomorrow if you like or if you just don’t want my mouth...ya know…”

Dani leans forward a little and turns her head so she can look at Jamie’s face, finding a smug and lustful expression, an eyebrow slightly raised. “Well, I didn’t say...I-I mean if you...if you want to. I wouldn’t stop you.”

“No? You’re sure about that?”

“Are you done in the bath? Because I think I’m all good. Water’s getting cold anyway. We could get out now.”

“We’ve been in here for not even fifteen minutes,” Jamie says with a laugh and Dani tears her eyes away, feeling slightly more flushed and it’s not at all because of the hot water. “Don’t worry, my appetite isn’t goin’ away anytime soon. Think I’ll always be hungry for you.”

Dani groans at the bad line but she smiles and bites her lip as Jamie gives her shoulder another kiss and her body a gentle squeeze, very content to never let go because her favourite place, the place she would always rather be, is anywhere with Dani in her arms. Now they have an entire week of blissful moments just like this one. Together, taking on the world for seven days. 

Well...maybe not the world. A sliver of the English coastline would have to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: would you wear Dani & Jamie’s band t-shirt? I would. 🌊🌹


	16. On Top of The World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments on the last chapter!
> 
> Won't say much this week aside from the fact that I struggled with this chapter but fell in love with it along the way. 
> 
> Happy reading. x

The bed is warm. So, so warm. There’s a body cradling her from behind and Jamie flutters open her eyelids just as Dani snuggles in even closer. It’s the second morning of their trip and every second so far had been better than the last but mornings in bed spent like this, ones that are lazy and drawn out because they can be, had become one of Jamie’s most favourite things in the entire world, regardless of where they are. The closeness, the quiet, how soft Dani is, the feeling of warm breath against her neck, and the way she slips her leg between Jamie’s under the covers. The way it’s just the two of them without the pressures and noise of the outside world. 

Their bodies are always craning towards one another in every way they can, like two magnets seeking connection when they come close. Inevitable and predetermined.

“Mmm, good morning,” Dani mumbles, her lips brushing against Jamie’s skin. “You feel nice.”

Jamie smiles and laughs a little bit to herself because early morning, half asleep Dani is incredibly endearing. “So do you,” she says and turns over in Dani’s arms and finds their faces only inches apart. Jamie brings her thumb up to her face and runs it along her jawline and over the curve of her bottom lip. She doesn’t open her eyes but under the gentle touch of Jamie’s finger, she smiles.

“I love you,” she whispers then slowly opens her eyes and lets the light of day take hold of her.

“Dani Clayton loves me? Blimey.”

Dani chuckles a little and smiles her first impossibly gorgeous smile of the day and she brushes her nose against Jamie’s. “Wild, right?”

“I think...that we should just stay in this bed all day.” Jamie brings her hand back down under the blankets and slips it under Dani’s t-shirt, her fingers ghosting over her hips above the waistband of her underwear. “Got a few ideas of some things we could do…”

“Is that right? Why don’t you tell me about all of those ideas? I’m very curious.”

“Well…” Jamie swiftly pulls back the covers and slides on top of Dani’s body so she’s straddling her hips. She sits up and looks down at her, putting her hands under her t-shirt on her bare stomach and scraping her fingers across the skin. “One of ‘em starts like this.”

Dani shivers at the contact and she licks her lips and sends her own hands out to grip Jamie’s waist. “And then what happens?” 

Jamie smirks, removes her hands from under Dani’s shirt, and she grabs the bottom hem of her own shirt and pulls it up overhead, tossing it to the side. It leaves her completely naked aside from her own underwear and Dani’s eyes drift right to her chest. There are freckles scattered across her pale and soft skin that Dani’s mouth had sought out so many times before as lips had mapped their away across her body, committing every inch to memory. 

“And then I do that." 

Dani lets go of her hold on Jamie’s waist and her hands slide up to the outer edge of her breasts then travel back down, her touch featherlight like a whisper across her skin. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

Even in moments of playfulness and undeniable lust, there is a loving tenderness to the way they interact with one another. A gentle touch amongst more fevered ones, a whispered I love you surrounded by strings of expletives or the words that had just come out of Dani’s mouth. 

_Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?_

How Dani can cut through the sexual tension in the room with such soft words, Jamie doesn’t know, but the words land right in her heart and her gaze softens. She knows their little game, which is only just beginning, will continue but she needs a moment to taste Dani’s lips, needs to kiss her and feel the words in her mouth. She leans down and brushes her lips against Dani’s and they both close their eyes, letting the feeling of the kiss wash over them. When Dani runs her tongue over her bottom lip, she hums at the feeling and when she parts her lips, the hum grows into a moan. 

“I don’t think anyone has ever seen me the way you do,” Jamie quietly says when she finally breaks the kiss. She doesn’t sit back up right away, happy to keep her lips close to Dani’s for a few more seconds because any kind of distance between them at this moment would just feel wrong. 

“The rest of the world must be blind.” 

She’s there again with her soft words and quiet voice, her steady presence, and all of the things that Jamie still questions, all of the things that make her wonder what she’s done to deserve this time and this woman. Jamie drops her head onto Dani’s shoulder and keeps it there for a little while, enjoying the way their hearts seem to beat into each other, the way they strain inside their ribcage to beat closer, and closer. When she does lift her head, she presses warm open-mouthed kisses to Dani’s neck then leans up so she’s sitting once again. Dani’s hands resume their tender travels up and down the sides of her torso and suddenly Jamie grabs them and puts them exactly where they both want them to be and her pert nipples strain against Dani’s palms as she cups her breasts. 

“That’s better,” she says and Dani’s eyes seem to darken with a hunger that hadn’t been in them when she had first opened them only minutes ago. It didn’t take for the atmosphere to change and Dani was always so reactive. 

“Better for me too. Was this all part of your idea?”

“Might’ve been...but you…” Jamie rocks her hips down into Dani’s slightly and swallows, “are definitely makin’ some improvements.”

“What’s next? I’m invested in this now.”

Jamie drops her hands from over Dani’s and slips them under her t-shirt again. She feels her abdominal muscles twitch beneath her fingers and she smirks. “Only fair for this to come off now, yeah?”

Dani nods but before she takes her hands away from Jamie’s chest she rolls and pinches her nipples and grins when Jamie closes her eyes and pushes her chest into her hands. She doesn’t let her hands linger there long though and when she moves them away, Jamie opens her eyes and protests slightly but then she sits up just enough to pull her own shirt up and over her head and throws the article of clothing somewhere onto the floor. 

“Fucking christ, Dani…” Jamie mutters as she looks over Dani’s body. 

“Yeah? This is okay?” 

A cheeky smile appears on her face and without saying another word, Jamie rocks her hips down into Dani’s then leans down and captures one of her nipples in her mouth. Dani’s eyes close and Jamie’s mouth and her sucking and nipping make Dani whimper. She can already feel a slickness between her legs and she thinks that if Jamie were to just keep doing that, it might be all it takes to make her completely come undone. It would almost be an embarrassing thing to admit if she wasn’t thoroughly enjoying the way it felt, if she wasn’t getting so lost in the way the body straddling hers is grounding down into her or the way warm lips suck, the way a skilled tongue swirls around one nipple then licks across the space between her breasts to the other.

It didn’t matter how many times they found themselves like this, completely at the mercy of the other, it always felt just as good and Dani had become completely addicted to all things Jamie. There were times when she loved to be in control and times, like now, when she would gladly let Jamie do whatever she wanted to do to her. She felt safe, she felt loved, and right now she feels like her whole body is on fire in the most delicious way possible all because of one woman’s touch. 

“Mmm Jamie,” she says breathily and Jamie flicks her eyes up to her face. She kisses her way up her chest and over her collarbone then along her jaw, finally making it back to her lips where she captures them in a heated kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth, whimpers and moans, and Dani is hoping that there is no one in the flat that shares the wall with theirs because she knows she’s not being quiet but she really doesn’t care. 

Jamie drags her mouth away and sits back up once again. She gazes down at Dani beneath her and smiles. “Still want to know about the rest of my idea?” 

Dani can only nod, not able to find any words. Her pulse is racing and now she’s getting desperate for some kind of direct contact between her thighs. The sensation of Jamie rocking her hips down into her is good but it’s not enough and Jamie can sense it when she squirms a little bit, squeezing her own legs together for any slight bit of friction she can find.

She shimmies off of Dani’s waist and slowly inches her way back and down the bed. She pushes Dani’s legs apart and settles down between them, bringing a hand up to her underwear and dragging a finger over the now very damp fabric. 

“All this...already? Oh, baby.”

Dani lets out a long huff of air and lifts her hips up, trying to make any kind of contact with Jamie’s hand but instead of finding it, Jamie draws her hand away entirely and drops her mouth to the inside of her thighs. She kisses across one then does the same to the other, growing closer to Dani’s centre each time but pulling back completely. The way that Dani whines each time she moves her lips away almost makes her want to give in right then and there but her plan doesn’t include this being over so quickly. She’s on holiday with the most gorgeous woman in the world, a woman who loves her, and they have nowhere else to go so why hurry through something so good? 

They have all the time in the world but even all the time in the world still wouldn’t be enough. When you love someone like a burning fire, one that always has kindling and someone to stoke the coals, there’s still the fear that something might put out the flame so you fight your hardest to make sure that it always continues to burn. No, Jamie won’t rush this. It will be slow and sensual and by the end of it, Dani will be begging as her mouth makes it away across every inch of bare skin that it finds.

“Jamie.”

“Yea?” Jamie looks up at Dani’s face as she dips a finger under the edge of her underwear then pulls it back out. 

“You’re not being very nice,” she pleads with a yearning that Jamie loves to hear and her chest heaving slightly as she gulps in air. 

“I disagree,” Jamie says, “because you usually tell me I’m bloody amazin’ after I make you - “

“Please.” Dani’s voice quivers and she raises her hips up off the mattress again and Jamie smiles but sits up on her knees, looking over Dani’s body, taking stock of her flushed cheeks and the handfuls of bedsheet clenched in each of her hands. 

“You can take ‘em off for me,” Jamie says and Dani eagerly nods and drops her hands to her hips, tugs down her underwear, and slips them off her legs. She quickly adds them to the pile of clothes on the ground and lowers her legs back down. Jamie opens them and spreads them wide, letting them splay out to each side. She looks over Dani’s body, wanting and completely exposed, and she knows that Dani trusts her with all of her vulnerability, with all of her heart. It’s a privilege to see her this way and she knows it. 

“You know I’ve never been the godly type but Christ, Dani. This is heaven.”

Jamie climbs up Dani’s body and hovers over her. She lowers her lips to her neck and nips and sucks at the skin just below her ear and then she lifts her head and finds Dani with a lip between her teeth and eyes glazed over. She kisses her forehead, each of her cheeks, her nose, her lips then down her throat and across her chest, her mouth circling each of her nipples again and then her hands replace her mouth on Dani’s breasts and she continues her journey south down and across her stomach, all while glancing up at Dani every so often, getting just as much satisfaction out of watching every small reaction on her face. She kisses both hip bones then gets to the apex of her thighs and dips her head, letting out a long breath of warm air against her centre before placing hot and hungry kisses on the inside of each thigh like had done only minutes ago.

Dani throws an arm over her mouth to try and silence some of the noises she can’t keep herself from making and when Jamie’s mouth finally makes it to its final destination, she has to bite her tongue to keep quiet. 

“Oh god,” she mumbles and moves her hips to grind herself against Jamie’s mouth. 

“I love the way you taste,” Jamie says against her and Dani thinks it might just be one of the sexiest things that she has ever heard in her entire life which is saying a lot considering that with her voice, Jamie could read a grocery list and it would sound like sex. 

There are languid strokes and sucks with a pair of skilled lips and it’s all so much. So, so much. Dani doesn’t really know what to do with herself and everything she’s feeling. She pulls the arm off her face and lets her hands fall down to Jamie’s hair, burying her fingers in the mess of brown curls. She’s past the point of worrying about any noise and her moans spill from her lips in an unbridled string of pleasure. She feels herself getting closer and closer and each time she thinks she’s about to tumble over the edge, Jamie lifts her head and pulls her mouth away. It’s a torturous game of give and go and she hates it but she loves it a hell of a lot more.

“J-Jamie...I can’t…” Dani says, her voice coming out in broken and bated breaths. 

“Mmm, you can,” Jamie argues as she dips her mouth back down and allows her tongue to move in broad strokes before sucking again and between the wetness on her chin and lips and the way Dani’s hips are moving as though they have a mind of her own, she knows that it won’t be long until she’s satisfied. Her hands slide up Dani’s torso and cover each of her breasts and her palms move over pert buds.

“I’m going...Jamie…I’m going to - “

The rest of the words get lost in Dani’s mouth and Jamie smirks and flicks her tongue out in quick succession and then Dani’s body arches up off the bed as her orgasm hits her with a force that makes Jamie’s own core ache. She doesn’t tear her mouth away from the sweetness between Dani’s thighs until there are hands pushing at her head. 

“Enough...fuck, Jamie...” Dani begs and finally, with a satisfied smile on her face, Jamie lifts her head and glances up at Dani’s face. 

Dani bats her eyelids open and she locks eyes with her. The view between her legs of Jamie licking her lips and wiping her chin on the back of her hand is nearly enough to make her come again. 

“You still think I’m not bein’ nice?”

“Come here,” Dani commands and Jamie moves up her body then lowers herself down on top so they’re flush together without an inch of space between them. Dani slips a thigh in between her legs and she can feel a dampness on her skin through Jamie’s cotton underwear. Her hands cup her face and she pulls her down into a fierce kiss, tasting herself on Jamie’s lips. They stay like that, kissing and enjoying the way their bodies seem to naturally move against each other. 

Making Dani feel good was always a turn on for Jamie and she’s so worked up from the time she had just spent between Dani’s legs that she’s a little too desperate for her own release and without even really choosing to do it, she starts to rock her hips up and back, grinding down on Dani’s thigh. She pulls her lips from Dani’s and drops her head in the space between her neck and shoulder and scrapes her teeth over Dani’s pulse point as she begins to move faster. Dani’s hands slip around her back and fingernails dig into her skin, pulling her body down even more, and when Dani spreads her fingers and softens her touch, there are little crescent moon shapes left behind in the pale skin from her nails. They’ll fade soon enough but for now, they say “more, I want more of your body, I want all of it”. 

And Jamie does need more so she lifts herself up so instead of straddling Dani’s hips as she had done earlier, she’s straddling only her thigh. Dani watches in awe as Jamie shuts her eyes and starts to grind down on her thigh faster this time. She’s chasing her orgasm and Dani grips her hips and holds her down against her leg as she moves.

 _I’m not imagining this right?_ Dani asks herself because never in her life would she had thought something like this would be real and happening to her. She can’t get enough as she lays back and watches the way Jamie is using her body to give herself what she wants and she soaks up every little sound that tumbles from her mouth. It’s new and unlike anything they’d ever done before but it’s mesmerizing and it’s something Dani would gladly be a silent participant in anytime Jamie needed her this way. She doesn’t get to witness it for very long though because Jamie brings her own hands up to squeeze her breasts and with a few more rocks of her hips, her body quivers as the force of her orgasm hits her like a lightning strike and she cries out then tumbles forward, head falling back down between Dani’s neck and shoulder.

“Jesus,” she mutters when she catches her breath and her body relaxes.

“Jesus, hmm? Thought you weren’t the godly type?” 

Jamie laughs against Dani’s skin and she kisses her neck then slides off her body to lay beside her. Dani turns onto her side so she can look at her face and she finds her blushing and looking away almost shyly. 

“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” Dani cups her cheek and swipes her thumb over her bottom lip. 

“I’ve never...on someone’s leg...like that,” Jamie says quietly, still not looking at her, “I’m sorry if it was...don’t know, unexpected I guess. Couldn’t help myself and it just felt - “

“Jamie. Look at me.” Jamie does as she’s told and Dani shakes her head. “That was one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen and you don’t need to be embarrassed. In fact...you can do that...anytime you want to.”

“You’re really not just sayin’ that to make me feel better about it?”

“Do you need to feel good about it? Because it looked to me like what you just felt was pretty great. The most gorgeous woman in the world just made herself come by riding my leg. Who wouldn’t want to witness that?”

Jamie smiles but quickly covers her face with her hands in embarrassment again. She’s never felt this way when it came to sex but for some reason the realization of what she had just done all while still wearing her underwear, which is now very much ruined, makes her feel bashful even under Dani’s loving and supportive gaze. 

“I think morning sex is my favourite kind of sex,” Dani says and she pulls Jamie’s hands away from her face, uncovering her flushed cheeks. There’s something so endearing about her embarrassment and Dani can’t help but smile at the sight of her. “What are your thoughts on that?”

Silence hangs in the air between them for a few seconds and then Jamie leans forward and kisses her softly. “I love you. I really, really love you,” she says against Dani’s lips.

___________

The next few days pass by in a blur of happiness, sunshine, and saltwater. Before making their trek to Blackpool, they spend their time wandering the shoreline near their flat with a bag full of snacks and water and end up a handful of kilometers down a beach that seems to stretch on forever. The weather had been incredible - with pure perfect sun, a scattering of puffy white clouds, and a gentle warm early summer breeze. It was bliss. Pure bliss. They sit in the sand side by side reading, talking, and just existing with one another in the fresh salty air. Their days are slow but not empty and it feels like the definition of the word perfection has been brought to life. 

The ocean, even when you look out towards it and all you find is choppy water and waves that seem to swallow each other whole, can calm and soothe the weariest of souls with its rhythmic music, its ebbing and flowing, and they didn’t feel weary but being close to the sea makes them feel lighter in a way that they can’t explain. Life back home in their quiet little nowhere place was wonderful but this trip was a breath of fresh air that neither Dani nor Jamie knew they needed until the fresh sea air filled their lungs for the first time. 

On their fourth afternoon, Dani parks herself in the sand near a small rock wall and watches as Jamie kicks a football around with a group of people that she guesses to be a little younger than they are. They had roped her into a game when she tossed them back a wayward ball and she simply couldn’t refuse when she was asked to join in on the fun. She’s wearing a white t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up to nearly her shoulders and a pair of shorts she had made herself by cutting the legs off a pair of old denim that was stained and faded from her work outside in the gardens on the estate. Her skin is glowing a little more than usual all thanks to their time in the sun and she looks joyful.

When the ball gets kicked towards Dani, everyone tries to convince her to join in and play as well. Jamie even goes so far as to pout when she refuses but after insisting that she is very much not the sporty type, they leave her to simply watch from a distance.

She watches them play but also watches waves crest over one another, marveling in the way the ocean seems to stretch on forever in front of them. It almost doesn’t look real and every so often Dani closes her eyes and focuses on the feeling of sea air filling her lungs as deeply as it can. There truly was nothing like being by the sea and she already knows that one day she’ll want to come back. 

When the game comes to an end, the group scatters off back to their own lives and Jamie takes a seat beside Dani and kisses her forehead. She looks out at the water and watches as a surfer stands up on his board and carves across the surface of a wave. If she squints she thinks that it almost doesn’t seem like England. It seems like they’re so much farther away in a private oasis somewhere far from anything and anyone. A place where it’s only the two of them.

“Did you have fun?” Dani asks.

Jamie smiles and nods. While it had been years since she had even touched a football, playing with the group of people on the beach had made her nostalgic for some of the few good moments she had from her childhood. Moments that weren’t laced with alcohol and neglect, ones she could remember with a glint of kindness instead of the usual bitterness and anger. 

“Dad was a big Newcastle fan when I was a kid. We lived ‘round Leeds but Newcastle is where his father was from and where he grew up so he always had family ties to the club. When the team was winning, Dad was happy. Sometimes on game days, he’d let me watch the telly with him if I promised not to make a sound and when it was over, if they won, we’d go out into the little scrap of a garden we had and we’d kick a football around. It was a bloody old ball, the dodgy thing didn’t have much life left in it but it’s what we had and I didn’t care. I was just happy to be out there with him.”

Dani takes Jamie’s hand in hers and studies her while she speaks. Her gaze is fixed forward on the horizon and her lips curl upwards in the corners slightly, putting a hint of a smile on her face. Her voice is steady and soft and there’s a tenderness to it almost as she slips back into that time in her life.

“Even though it would never last long, Mum would come home and they’d get into an argument or he’d lose his temper over somethin’ small, maybe he’d kick the ball over the neighbours hedge, when we were doin’ it...life felt a bit normal for a change and that was rare. We would laugh and cheer and I’d run around with my arms wide screamin’ my little face off like I’d scored the goal that won us the FA Cup. Thinkin’ back on it now though, it almost doesn’t seem real.”

“But it was real and those are nice memories to have, right?”

The surfer stands up on his surfboard again but only for a few seconds before a wave rolls in behind and knocks him off, sending him crashing down into the water. It breaks Jamie’s gaze and she pulls her eyes away to look at Dani. 

“Few and far between, memories like those,” she says and the bit of tenderness that had been in her voice has been replaced with sadness. “Bit like searchin’ through an endless pile of trash in the hopes of finding some other bloke’s treasure though.”

Dani looks down at their clasped hands. They look like puzzle pieces, she thinks, the ones that everyone argues don’t fit with the rest of the puzzle no matter how hard they try but somehow, those odd pieces fit together perfectly. They fit as though the only thing they were ever really meant to do was to come together this way and they don’t care that the rest of the puzzle looks at them as outsiders. They’ve got each other and sometimes all you need is one other piece to be happy.

“It’s nice to hear you talk about it, your childhood,” she says as she plays with Jamie’s fingers. “I know it was hard but all of it...it played a part in shaping who you are and I think that who you are is pretty incredible.” 

“I don’t want it to always be dark when I think about it. I know it’ll take some time but I want to be able to find even just one fuckin’ sliver of light. Just one bloody sliver in all of that dull darkness.” 

“That story of your dad definitely had some light to it.”

“Yeah.” Jamie sighs and closes her eyes. She takes a steadying deep breath and purses her lips then exhales. “He was a wanker and there’s no arguin’ otherwise but I wish he had an easier out than the one he had. Always hoped he would’ve given up alcohol because every drink was just another shovel of dirt from the piece of shite grave he was diggin’ himself. Only had himself to blame but...he was still my dad. Am I mad for feelin’ that way about a person who didn’t care if I ate some days or if I starved?”

“Of course not. Family is complicated and you are allowed to feel whatever you want to feel. Your father died, Jamie. You don’t need to justify a single one of your feelings.”

“Have I ever told you how good you are at the whole listenin’ and givin’ advice thing?”

Dani laughs and shrugs her shoulders then gives Jamie a gentle nudge. “What can I say? I read a lot. Seems to help. You should do it a little more often.”

“Ah, she’s a real cheeky one, she is,” Jamie says with a bit of a laugh. “Come here.”

Dani snuggles into her and Jamie puts an arm around her shoulder. A few minutes later the group of people with the ball come wandering back up the beach and they holler at Jamie, asking if she wants to join them once again. She looks to Dani for permission and raises her eyebrows. 

“Go on then,” Dani says with a smile and a nod. “Go find yourself another sliver of light. I’ll be here when they tire you out.”

Jamie hops up and brushes the sand off her backside. She kisses the top of Dani’s head and jogs towards the group, quickly settling into another game. Dani knows as Jamie runs between people, her laughter floating in the air as she chases after the ball in the sand, that she’s getting to see another side of her on this trip - a side without worry, stress, a side of her that has a newfound sense of wonderment. 

Carefree is a beautiful look on her. 

“Dani!” Jamie calls out to her. “Sure you don’t want to play? We’re all pretty shite but we’re just playin’ for fun. No trophies on the line today.”

She thinks for a moment then sighs, knowing eventually she’d have to concede anyway. There are only so many times she can refuse and it’s nearly impossible to ignore Jamie’s adorable pouting face so she eventually agrees and stands. Everyone claps and she brushes the sand off the back of her paint splattered cut-off overalls, the ones Jamie had picked out for her in the charity shop, and she wanders over the group. Jamie gathers her in her arms and hugs her around her waist, lifting her up and spinning her. When she set's her back down, Dani laughs in delight and then someone kicks the ball her way and she kicks it back. 

Carefree is a beautiful look on both of them.

___________

Their little seaside flat had been quiet and simple in comparison to Blackpool and the moment Jamie’s truck rumbles into town they realize that it’s where all of the tourists have been congregating. Everyone in search of a bit of shoreline in the sun. Blackpool Tower, a tall red structure that looks a little like the Eiffel Tower if you blink, sticks up in the sky and hovers above everything along the beachfront. They don’t blame the crowds for being there, when you get a snap of incredibly gorgeous sunshine-filled weather, especially if you’re close to the sea, you take advantage of every single second because, in the blink of an eye, it could rain. 

They had rented a room in a small hotel not far from the shore and embarked on the short walk down to the pier. Blackpool was home to three main piers and their hotel was closest to the south pier - the one with most of the amusement rides and a building filled with arcade games. It’s where a lot of the excitement seems to be and Dani feels a bit of childlike excitement, recalling a time when she had gone to the fair as a child. There had been other times when she’d been in a similar environment as well and there are flashes of it playing in her mind as she remembers.

There had been one particular summer when she and Edmund had taken a weekend day trip to an amusement park not far from where they lived but when they arrived, he refused to go on any of the rides, claiming they looked unsafe. They had argued, loudly and publicly, and Dani had asked him why they’d even bothered to make the trek out to the place to begin with if he wouldn’t ride anything. All he said in response was that it was something to do together. The rest of the day was slow, quiet, and she left with a heavier heart than the one she had already been carrying around. 

The long pier stretching out ahead of them and the way the sun cuts across the top of the water makes her feel like they’re so much farther away from home than they actually are.

“Are we sure this isn’t California?” She asks. “Because this definitely doesn’t look like England.”

A group of teen boys ride by on bikes and one of them shouts “Oy! Fuckin’ wanker, slow down, mate!”

She grimaces a little but then she laughs to herself and smiles. “Sounds like England though.”

“There’s no place in England like the coast,” Jamie says. “Never been south but I’d imagine places like Hastings and Bournemouth aren’t all different from Blackpool.”

They walk onto the pier and there are kids running around with cotton candy in one hand and an ice cream cone in another and they have to step out of the way of two young girls chasing each other, their parents chasing them. It’s not quite summer yet but there’s a feeling in the air of something new. It blows in with the sea breeze and with it, a sense of relaxation and calm.

“What should we do first?” Dani asks. 

“Those ice cream cones sure do look good…I reckon we get ourselves some sweets.”

“The first thing you want to do is get ice cream?”

“Yea...why? Somethin’ wrong with ice cream?”

Dani smiles and shakes her head. She leans into Jamie and presses her lips to her cheek, not at all caring about who might be watching and what anyone might think. No one was going to pop their little happiness-filled bubble and if they tried to, she wasn’t afraid to make them wish they hadn’t. “There is never anything wrong with ice cream,” she says, “and I love that the first thing you want to do is get some.”

The time in the sun had done them both some good and Dani’s freckles seem to stand out more than they usually do. She looks so damn soft that Jamie melts when she looks at her. “Should probably get some proper seaside food first, fish n’ chips maybe?”

“No way,” Dani replies as she drops her hand down to grab hold of Jamie’s. “We’re doing ice cream first. It’s on my mind now. We’ll eat fish and chips later.” She spots a stall that sells ice cream and points at it then looks back at Jamie and lifts her shoulders up so she looks a little taller. “Dani, you’re meant to eat poorly on holiday,” she says with her terrible British accent again, repeating the statement Jamie had said to her in the supermarket aisle. 

“Not this again...we’ve been through this already. That accent is rubbish.”

“Ya think it’s rubbish, do ya? Piss off, mate. I think it’s bloody amazin’ and I’m just absolutely chuffed to be here.”

Jamie laughs and pushes Dani ahead of her towards the stall that sells ice cream but she stops her quickly by stepping in behind and wrapping her arms around her waist. She kisses the back of her neck then smiles widely against her skin and brings her lips to her ear. “Dani Clayton, you make me stupidly happy. Happier than I’ve ever been. Don’t think I say it enough.”

“Jamie Taylor, you don’t need to tell me. I can see it on your face. Now, let’s go get some ice cream before all the kids around here eat it all.”

Dani gets vanilla and Jamie gets chocolate and they wander down the pier and find a picnic table to sit at while they eat their ice cream. Across from them is a small roller coaster with the name ‘CRAZY COASTER’ above it in big bright letters and children squeal in delight as coaster cars wind their way around the track. It’s not an attraction that seems to draw many adults but Dani thinks it looks fun. 

“Do you like rollercoasters?” 

Jamie licks her ice cream cone and shrugs. “Never been on one.”

“Are you afraid of heights?”

“Nope, not afraid of much to be fair.”

“So...will you ride it with me then? Since you’re not afraid.”

Jamie looks at the coaster and watches a car as it cranks its way up the small hill. It doesn’t look all that exciting or enticing but when she turns back to Dani, she finds her with an eager smile on her face as she eats her ice cream. There’s a smudge of it on the side of her mouth and Jamie brings a finger to her lips and wipes it away then rolls her eyes and gives in. 

“Fine,” she says, “but we’re only ridin’ it once, yeah?”

They ride it twice.

Jamie squeals just as much as the children on the ride do and when they finish on the coaster they go into the arcade and play as many games as they can until they run out of the coins they’ve filled a small white tub with. It’s so easy. So natural. It’s the way days this like are _meant_ feel. How they _should_ feel. 

“How are you so good at this?” Dani says as they sit side by side on fake motorcycles racing each other in a game. She’s a lap behind Jamie and despite her best efforts at steering and knowing when to release the gas and press the break, she can’t seem to catch up. 

“It’s nothing like the real thing but I’ve spent a good chunk of time on motorcycles,” Jamie answers as her bike flies over the finish line. “Yes! Sorry, love. I’ll take that round and maybe you’ll get the next one?”

Dani is wide-eyed as she pictures Jamie in a leather jacket on a bike. “You ride motorcycles?” 

“In another life I did.” 

They play the game again and Dani loses...again but she doesn’t care. She wasn’t paying much attention to it anyway, not with the visual of a motorcycle-riding Jamie still clouding her mind.

They play a handful of other games that wrack up points and spit out strips of tickets for prizes and Jamie earns enough to get Dani a small stuffed dolphin and a stuffed flower. She jokes that it’s the closest she can get to representing their band, Ocean Roses, and when they exit the arcade they walk past a little girl crying, her ice cream sitting on the ground between her feet, a melting puddle of rainbow colours and bubble gum pieces. Dani kneels in front of her and gives her both of the prizes and the gesture instantly replaces the tears with a smile. The child’s parents standing nearby mouth grateful words of thanks and Dani waves them off, insisting it was nothing. 

_It’s nothing but it’s everything_ , Jamie thinks, _because that kind of kindness and generosity doesn’t live inside of everyone._

When all is said and done, they slowly wander towards the end of the pier and look out at the water. The sky is clear blue without a cloud in sight and the horizon seems to stretch on forever. It’s late afternoon and the sun is quickly dipping down and hanging low in the sky, casting a long reflection of light that seems to cut right down the centre of the ocean. The sound of arcade games and amusement rides, music and children laughing begins to fade and the rushing sound of ocean waves around them grows and washes away the rest of the noise. 

“When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?” Dani asks. 

“God, don’t think I even remember if I’m bein’ honest.”

“I wanted to be everything.”

Jamie smiles. “Course ya did.”

“You really can’t think of one thing? One dream you had when little Jamie was running around kicking that ball?”

“An actor...maybe? “

“An actor? That’s honestly not something I would have ever guessed.”

“Alright then. When you look at me now, what would you have thought I’d become when I got older?”

Dani thinks about it for a moment and when she can’t come up with anything specific she gives her shoulders a defeated shrug and Jamie half-smiles and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

“I really don’t know. Not just sayin’ that either. I only say an actor because I was on my own a lot, nearly always really, and needed to find ways to keep myself entertained. I’d put together little skits and perform them in front of the mirror or perform them in front of Mum and Dad and try to get ‘em to watch,” Jamie says with a smile and a bit of a laugh as she remembers her childhood antics. “I’d pull together any kind of costume I could think of, use Mum’s makeup to paint my face which she’d be fumin’ about when she found out. I’d try anything just to get some attention and when they’d finally give me five minutes to perform whatever silly little thing I’d thrown together, I’d be absolutely buzzin’. It was fun, even on my own. I was a nutter with a big imagination but didn’t have a ton of ways to put it to use.”

Dani leans into her and Jamie turns her gaze back to the water but Dani’s eyes are all on her and only her. “Another sliver of light,” she says. 

“Hmm?” 

“That memory. You said the other day on the beach that you didn’t always want things to be dull and dark when you looked back on your life. You wanted a sliver of light and that sounds like another sliver of light.” 

Jamie turns back and finds Dani Looking at her with such attentiveness. “Huh. Suppose you’re right.”

Sometimes it takes another person to help us find perspective. Jamie hadn’t thought of her childhood in years and now, on this trip to the sea with Dani by her side, she’s recalling moments and seeing glimpses of her life that she had nearly forgotten about entirely. By simply being with her, by being a calm presence and a kind of warmth that never seemed to fade, Dani was allowing her to safely go back to a time in her life when she was small, alone, and scared but now she doesn’t feel small, alone, or scared. Now, as she remembers things, she see’s how strong and brave she truly was, how she did her best to give herself some kind of life worth living even when sometimes it felt like the walls around her were closing in. Dani was the perspective she had been missing for so long and it’s just another thing she can add to the list of ways that this bubbly, joyful, and kind woman had changed her life. 

“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.”

“And what wise poet or world-famous writer said that line? Because it sounds like somethin’ out of one of Albert’s books.”

Dani ducks her head down to hide her smile then rests her chin on her hands on the railing of the pier and looks back up at Jamie. “Rafiki…in The Lion King.”

“Blimey...only Dani Clayton can quote some famous french novelist one day, a Disney movie the next, and make it all sound just as profound.”

“I’m a woman of many skills,” Dani replies with a proud grin. She drops her arms from the railing and stands back up. 

Jamie laughs, brings one hand up to her neck and the other to her cheek, and brushes her thumb across it. She leans in and kisses her sweetly as the sun sets over the water in front of them. The amusement rides and all of the flashy advertisements on the pier come to life as evening falls and the neon signs begin to brightly glow, reflecting on the water in every direction. 

When Jamie pulls back from the kiss, Dani holds on to her shirt to keep her close. “I don’t want this trip to end.”

“We’ve still got plenty of time left. Haven’t even had our fish n’ chips yet. Besides, we still need to head down the beach to the other pier because we can’t come to Blackpool and not ride the ferris wheel, now can we? Heard it’s pretty romantic at night.”

Dani smiles and raises her eyebrows a little. “And who did you hear that from?”

“Okay...fine. I didn’t hear it from anyone but...it seems romantic.”

“Romance is always nice. I bet there are all kinds of girls lined. All of them are just waiting to go for a ride with you.”

“Well, they’ll all be wastin’ their time because there’s only one girl I want to go for a ride with.”

Jamie doesn’t realize it but she’s just put herself into a position and into a game that Dani can’t resist playing. The opportunity to make her blush is completely impossible to gloss over. Strong, tough, and rough around the edges Jamie isn’t as rough as she seems and could be turned into a puddle on the ground in a second, and sometimes, if she were lucky, Dani didn’t even need to work for it. She looks in Jamie’s eyes, still shining bright and lively even in the last of the daylight and she softens her own gaze, making it seem as though she’s about to respond with a sweet and romantic anecdote about ferris wheels and being in love but that’s not at all what comes out of her mouth. 

“You seemed to go on a pretty good ride with that girl the other morning.” 

Her words have the exact desired effect and Jamie’s eyes go wide and her cheeks turn bright pink. Dani’s statement has made her tongue-tied and she isn’t sure how to respond, completely flooded with both embarrassment at the memory of it and a small wave of satisfaction because of how good it had felt. Before Dani, she’d never let a partner take control in any way or allow herself to be melted down into the puddle she is now. Before Dani, she didn’t think she could be soft but now she prefers softness to her blunt edges. Before Dani, her sex life was surprisingly dull and lifeless. She only had one when she needed an itch she couldn’t scratch herself but with Dani? Being with Dani is the farthest thing from dull and lifeless - it’s colourful, thrilling, and intoxicating. 

“I had to say it,” Dani says with a look of pride and accomplishment. “I really couldn’t help myself.”

Jamie shakes her head and half-smiles, the blush fading slightly. She can’t blame Dani because she knows she would have made the same comment if their positions had been reversed. “Not playin’ fair now, are we?”

“Like I said, I’m a woman of many talents.”

“Walked right into it though, didn’t I? Well done.”

They both laugh and Dani lets her head fall against Jamie’s shoulder and she puts her arms around her, hugging her close. The breeze picks up, blowing their hair around their faces and the sound of the waves crashing against the posts that keep the pier up below them gets even louder. With the most exposure in their position all the way at the end of the pier, they’re hit with the brunt of the wind and it quickly gets cooler without the sun in the sky but they don’t care, not when they’ve got the warmth of each other's bodies to cling to. 

This is comfort and this is love. Dani knows this and she feels it deep in her chest. Being in Jamie’s arms like this and feeling her strong body, hearing her heartbeat and being able to pick up on the changes in its pace, knowing she’s the reason why those changes are happening - they are things that Dani has come to crave. Things she’d never had in her life before Jamie, things she never imagined would or could feel so good. 

The tenacity of love always makes itself known in the quiet unassuming moments that no one else is privy to.

___________

Dani and Jamie stand side by side on the pier and gaze up at the big wheel in front of them. The sun has long since set and the moon hangs over the ocean, illuminating it with a cool, white glow. The lights from the ferris wheel shine brightly, painting their faces with its different and vibrant colours as it makes its slow rotation around, stopping at the top so people can enjoy the view. Dani buys their tickets and they get in the line to ride. Jamie doesn’t let go of her hand the entire time and within minutes, they’re climbing into their own cart and settling in for their trip around the small little world that is Blackpool’s central pier. 

Not far from the pier, Blackpool Tower stands like a lighthouse - a beacon for those on water and land, the only towering structure for miles that brightens the night sky. They begin their climb up towards the tallest point of the ferris wheel and the pier down below them with all of its neon signs and crowds of people looks beautiful. As it grows smaller the more elevated they get, Dani thinks that she wouldn’t mind staying up there forever because the expression on Jamie’s face as she looks out over the seaside town and across the choppy water as they reach the highest point of their ride, so keen on soaking it all up while she still, so entranced, is a far more captivating view than anything else around them. 

Jamie turns to look at her and when she smiles, Dani knows that nothing will ever make her feel the same way that Jamie’s smile does. How rare it is to be able to look at another person and feel that way with such pure and clear certainty. Some people are never lucky or privileged enough to feel like this but these two women, these two people who had grown up an ocean apart and a world away from one another had found what people spend a lifetime searching for. 

“Pretty damn incredible, isn’t it?” Jamie asks.

“Might be the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen,” Dani answers. 

“Feels like we’re on top of the world.”

The wheel begins to turn again as their time at the top comes to an end and Jamie sinks down a little into her seat. She fixes her gaze back out towards the water and takes a deep breath. Dani studies her, paying close attention to the way her face loses a hint of its joy and it’s clear from that alone that Jamie isn’t ready to leave. 

“We should ride it again,” Dani says, “I’d like to spend a little more time on the top of the world with you.” 

It’s a little funny when you think about it; the way that _falling_ for someone can make us feel so _high_. 

They would ride the ferris wheel overlooking the ocean again but Dani didn’t need to be on it to feel like she was on top of the world. That’s how she’d always felt ever since she fell in love with Jamie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: If anyone reading this is actually from Blackpool...I'm sorry if I did a rubbish job describing the piers! I only know what I have learned through research. I’m actually Canadian but my grandmother is from the south coast of England in Bournemouth and places around there are the only English seaside destinations I’ve ever been to!
> 
> pps: since it’s their holiday, Dani and Jamie deserve to have their extra fun sexy time and I hope it’s written in a way you enjoy. It’s hard to judge it sometimes as the writer & while I don’t feel the need to be explicit with this story, I try my best to make it feel *spicy* while also feeling natural.


End file.
